Prologue
24 hours
‘Tomorrow might be my last day’ I thought sadly. I raised an arm that is covered by my long sleeves. Rolling my sleeves, my bruised and pale arm was showed to me. It seems like I couldn’t remember a time when there aren’t any marks on my body. Looking around the room, I can’t even remember a time when I enjoyed myself fully or when I went outside with my friends. Come to think of it, I never really have friends. I’m just stuck here in our house and only go out for my treatment.
Bringing my arms down, I look up “Why? Why did you choose me to suffer in a state like this? What have I done to deserve this?” I shouted hoping ‘He’ would hear me. My parents immediately rushed to my room as I started shouting and crying. “Why can’t I just have a normal life?” my mother hugged me as she my hair while my father’s hand is on my right shoulder. I don’t know how long we stayed at that position, but all I know is that it’s a long time.
When I looked up, my mother wiped my tears as my father took my hand and gently kissed it. “Mom… Dad…” my voice was quavering but I made sure that my voice comes out strong during the next sentences. “I want you guys to know that I love you guys so much. Please don’t forget that.”
“What are you trying to say? You’ll still live for a long time. We can always go to America for your treatment. We can arrange and settle things as soon as possible” I shook my head as my mother tried to persuade me. “You know very well that my condition can’t get any better mom” I said and mother burst into tears.
“Don’t say that. We’ll pay no matter what price it is. Even if we have to go at the end of the earth as long as it means getting you healed” my dad said while supporting my mom.
“Mom, dad, I feel that tomorrow might be my last day” “no! Don’t say that” my mom interrupted me as she cupped my cheeks. A stray tear escaped my left eye and I let it flow.
I removed her hands from my face and held both of it tightly. “Mom, you’ve got to listen to me. 2 nights ago in my dream, grandma visited me. She said something like I hope you have lived a meaningful life, if not then make the best out of scrap. Because once the words have been spoken it cannot be changed. Once the word ever is finished in fairytale and the month of love has been taken away from the new beginning, once the sand has disappeared, say goodbye to the world you’re living in (a/n:guess the exact message of the riddle).My time is almost up mom. She visited to warn me.”
“No, you’re just hallucinating that time. You know how dreams tends to be crazy right? Please don’t say that. Please…” my mom continued to sob and I don’t think I can hold out much longer.
“Promise me one thing guys” I look at the both of them “What is it?” dad asks “Tomorrow, will you let me spend my time by myself? Outside the house?”
Dad looked baffled as mom stopped sobbing and my heart immediately twisted when I saw her puffy eyes and tears stained cheeks. To be honest, I hate seeing her cry. Specially if the reason why she is crying is because of me. I don’t like it, especially at this time when she’s carrying my baby sister inside her womb.
“Why?” dad managed to croaked out. I smiled sadly “because all my life, I’ve been trapped like a caged bird. I don’t want to die like that. For once in my life I want to experience how to live like an ordinary person with nothing to worry. Even for just one day, I want to be truly happy” sometimes I get shock when I just feel tears flowing down my cheeks.
“We’ll take you out tomorrow. Anywhere you want to go. You want to go to the beach? How about an amusement park? We’ll take you there.” I shook my head as mom tries to change my decision.
“I want to be by myself tomorrow mom. Please, I don’t want you guys to see me in a state where I might be taking my last breath while helplessly fighting for my life. I don’t want to see the pain in your eyes before I leave this world. Honestly, I don’t know if I’ll go to heaven but when I do, I’ll tell God that you guys were the best parents one could ever ask. Thank you for giving me everything and thank you so much for loving me even though I’m like this. Even though I’m not the most perfect daughter because truthfully speaking, I’m just a girl who’s always sick and make her parents worry too much” I laugh humorlessly before looking at my parents “I love you mom, dad. I know I don’t often say this but I mean it. Sometimes I find it hard to express my feelings because words can’t even describe how I feel. I don’t know how to say ‘Thank you’ because it’s more than that. I don’t know how to say ‘I love you’ because my feelings surpass that word. All I know is that you guys are the most important people in my life” I stopped for awhile to wipe my tears and also to recompose myself. I hate it when I cry in front of them because I don’t want them to see how much I’m suffering because I know they’ll feel worse.
I see dad trying to stop himself from crying to show a strong front for me and my mom.
I reach for both my parents’ hand “Mom, when baby Mai starts to look for her sister, please tell her that… that” I stop at mid-sentence biting back a sob “she has a big sister that loves her so much even before she was born. And that I’ll always pray for her and watch her up above” I cried “and when I’m gone, please try to move on and continue with your life. Please don’t keep looking back to the past but don’t forget me.” My parents were quiet but I know that they are crying.
That night was full of sadness and tears for our family.
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