The Rejected

Scene 13: The calm before the storm

Your eyes widen a fraction when you see who is walking towards you on the side walk as you´re on your way to work after school. Composing yourself, you put on an indifferent face, look straight forward and continue walking. You pass him without a word, without a glance, and you can hear how he inhales in surprise. It hurts, but your pride has been hurt too, and you won´t act like nothing happened: that everything is alright.

“Wait…!” He calls out your name.

You stop and look at Kai over your shoulder. Not giving him much of your attention, you try to show your pain without words. Although you did what he said and stopped, no words escape Kai´s lips. He seems too surprised to speak. A frustrated sigh leaves your lips as you look away from his surprised face.

“You know, I was ready to fight for our friendship.” You tell him in a forced indifferent voice.

Kai´s expression changes once again, and your chest hurts a bit. The moment Kai realized you were friends with Tao and the others he gave up on you. With another deep sigh, you start and keep walking away from him. Kai doesn´t make any move to stop you.

You´ve been focusing on your work and school as the boys are planning the attack. You don´t like being around them as they talk about it because you´re still feeling torn. A fight shouldn´t be necessary when it comes to a group of old friends who might just be too proud to apologize or talk about what happened. You shrug.

At the same time, you´re very uncertain about Tao and your relationship. He confessed, but the fear that he only said that to protect you and keep you from your other friends, his enemies, scares you. You wanted to speak with him about it but it seems like now is not the right time as something always get in the way.

You roll around on your bed. You´re still in your PJ with messy hair and a sleepy face. You check your cell for a moment and a disappointed sigh leaves you as you only find commercial from some company. The phone makes a sound as you flip it shut. You roll around again, face facing the ceiling. It´s Saturday and you have no plans whatsoever.

You know that they´ll have the fight tomorrow night so you´re reluctant to go and visit them. It won´t make you feel any better about what´s going on.  But you decide to pay them a visit in the afternoon. They are your friends, after all. After getting ready and eating some instant ramen, you go.

Once again, they barely notice you as you enter the small roof top apartment. Lay and Chen are discussing something while looking at a map. You look at them as you take of your jacket.  It seems as if they´re checking if they can use the appointed location for the fight to their advantage. A cold feeling pierces your stomach and you decide not to disturb them.  Xiumin and Luhan are sitting in the sofa watching some comedy show. You scan the apartment but Tao is nowhere to be seen.  Luhan and Xiumin smiles at you as you sit down next to them.

“I didn´t hear you coming.”

You just smile. “Where is Tao?”

Him being away by himself at this time makes you nervous. Anything could happen. Although you want to believe that Suho and Kai would fight fair, you still fear Tao being outnumbered and hurt by them.

“At work.” Luhan looks at you with a grin.

Eyes widen. “Oh.”

Right, he has his part time job now. You feel foolish for worrying so much. The two guys don´t comment on it though, as they see your distressed face. A painfully warm blush covers your cheeks as you try to focus on the TV show.

“Should we ask him to bring some snacks over?” Xiumin asks. “I´m kinda in the mood for some muffins.”

“You´re always in the mood for food.” Luhan shrugs. “And knowing Tao, who eats like a horse, he won´t object.”

It´s true. Although Tao is quite skinny he still eats a great deal. The first time you saw him eat it surprised you a lot. Luhan pulls out his cell.

“Do you want anything?” He looks at you.

“Hm… some coffee would be nice.” You smile.

You listen to Luhan as he calls Tao. Although you can´t hear what he is saying, you can hear Tao´s voice emerge from the phone. It makes you realize just how much you long to talk with him like you did before things got awkward between the two of you. You´re 99% sure that Tao is trying to avoid you . You don´t really know why though.

“He´ll be back in an hour.”

“I can´t wait that long…” Xiumin groans.

You laugh at the hamster-like boy as you give him a friendly nudge with your elbow.

It doesn´t take long for Tao to get back, and when he does, his hands are full of stuff. Xiumin bolts out of the sofa to greet him, and take the food.  As Tao spots you, he murmurs a quiet “hi” and gives you the coffee. He must have figured out that you were the one who wanted it. You give him a smile, a gesture he returns weakly before he walks over to Lay and Chen. You can´t help but pout in disappointment. He´s acting like a child, you think, as you regard his back.

“Don´t worry.” Luhan pats your head.

You look at him wide-eyed.

“He´s just a bit bad at expressing his emotions.” He continues.

“How much do you know…?” You murmur, feeling your heart sinking in your chest.

“Well, it´s pretty obvious that Tao has a thing for you.” Luhan tells you with a smirk. “I figured that out a long time ago. The question is: what do you feel for him?”

He gives you a serious stare.

“I´ve been trying to tell him but…” You frown.

You look at the cup of coffee in your hand, and you take a sip. It´s black and bitter, just as you like it. You glance at Tao again as you wonder if he prepared it for you, or if someone else did it.

“He has got a lot on his mind right now.” Luhan tells you with a sigh. “We all do.”

“Do you think… he told me he likes me just because he wanted to keep me safe?” You ask in a depressed voice.

Luhan´s face darkens a bit. “Tao´d never say something like that without meaning it.”

It seems your question offended him. Xiumin looks at the two of you with a worried expression while he munches at his muffin. He does look like a hamster.

“Sorry…” You murmur as you look at the ground.

“Confront him, that´s my advice.”Luhan tells you, as he turns back to the TV.

After spending some hours at the headquarters you decide it´s time to go back. It´s getting dark after all. You say good bye to Luhan and Xiumin before you go to the hallway. You glance in Lay, Chen and Tao´s direction but they´re too caught up in their conversation to notice you.

“It´ll be a fair fight. We decided on no weapons.” Chen says.

“That´s if they´ll honor the agreement.” Lay says bluntly, clearly not trusting their rivals to fight fair.

It seems like Lay and Chen met up with their rivals for a meeting about the fight before and they´ve set up some rules.

“We´ll still be one person short.” Tao mentions in a troubled manner.

“So Kris won´t be there?” You in.

The three men jumps a bit at your words since they didn´t expect you to be there. You give them a small smile and nod of your head as an apology. Tao gives you a long look. Something with you mentioning Kris seems to bother him.

“We can´t trust him.” Lay answers. “And he doesn´t anything to do with us anymore.”

You exhale in relief at this, and you bend down to put on your shoes. You don´t notice, but Tao sends you another long look. He´s frowning.

“What will happen if you lose?” You ask, your voice gets a bit muffled since you´re bent down.

“We´ll leave town.” Chen answers bluntly.

You don´t like the thought of that. You stand up again and take on your jacket. The three men look at you in silence.  

“..and if you win?” You continue.

“Suho and the others will dissolve, and there will be no more gangs.” Chen concludes.

To you, it sounds like a good deal … well, if they win. However, if they lose they´d have to leave. That´d make it hard to see them like this. However wins, the situation will calm down but the consequences… You touch the door handle.

“If you´re really doing this…” You start in a low voice. “…You just have to win, got it?”

Although the three of them was deadly serious, they grin at what you just said. Even Tao smiles at you for a moment.

“Of course.” Lay says, as he messes up your hair with his hand.

“Promise?” You look at him.

“Yeah.” Everyone chants in a choir.

You smile as you open the door, waves at them, and leaves. The wind is cold, but spring has finally come. The days are longer and warmer. You hear the sound of the birds singing. A deep breath leaves your lips. Maybe, their fate will already be decided by this time tomorrow.

Min invited herself to your apartment that night for a sleep over. It seems like she had sensed that you´re nervous about everything so she decided to keep you company. You hugged the girl as you were close to tears. Min simply patted your back and said that everything will be alright. The two of you ended up going to the supermarket and bought a lot of snacks and sweets, as well as rented a whole load of movies of all genres. You were up until late morning, and slept until after noon. Min was with you when you got dressed and prepared to go over to the guys one last time before the fight.

On the decided day you stay at the headquarters until they leave silently. The boys are busy preparing, and you don´t want to disturb them, but you silently hope that by being there you can somehow calm them down. You cooked a bit for them, and they thanked you, although they barely touched the food. It seems like they were too nervous to eat. You forced some food down their throats because you know how weak people become if they don´t eat.

Your eyes move over Tao, Luhan, Chen, Xiumin and Lay. You give your wrist watch a glance. 30 minutes left until they´ll leave.  Although you know you can´t do anything to stop it, you still need to force yourself to not voice your fear and how you think it´s a bad idea. Knuckles turn white as you fiddle with the short lace on the edge of your shorts.

…It´s time.

The boys put on their jackets and shoes as they get ready to leave. You get up from the sofa, and approach the 5 men in the hallway. Although you´re there you don´t know what to say to them. You feel so helpless.

“Behave and wait here for us, okay?” Luhan grins, as he touches your shoulder.

“…Uh, yeah.” You force a smile.

They all look at you for a moment, and you can easily read their expressions. Lay and Chen are both determenated and look very composed. It’s a bit scary. Xiumin looks normal, like his cute and cheerful self, but in his eyes you can spot fear.  Luhan is also doing his best not to show his real emotions, it´s painfully clear he´s nervous. The hand that´s touching your shoulder is trembling oh so slightly.

And then you look at Tao. He won´t really face you, and it makes you panic inside. If he leaves like this, you´d blame yourself if something goes wrong tonight. You try to catch his eye, but he´s busy fixing his gloves and staring at the wall.

“Stay back, don´t move from here.” Lay tells you sternly.

You nod silently, biting your lower lip. You realize you can´t hesitate anymore, and that you need to tell Tao something before he leaves. You act quickly, and grab the sleeve of Tao´s jacket. A silent gasp leaves his lips, and he looks at you over his shoulder. He didn´t see that coming. Those dark eyes of his look at you with a lot of emotion.  Maybe he knew you´d be able to read him, so he avoided looking at you?

“Can I just get… one minute?” You ask him.

Tao frowns as he let his gaze wander from you to Lay, seeking his approval. Lay sighs deeply before he nods his head. Tao seem a bit impatient, because he knows they need to attack soon, but he still follows you as you lead him away from the others into the apartment.

Your heart starts beating faster in your chest, and you can feel how your palms get sweaty as you fidget with your fingers, glancing up at Tao as you stand by the TV. He looks down at you with a confused expression on his face. You exhale loudly. You don´t have time for hesitation.

“Tao, before you go, I… want you to know that …” You take a deep breath as you force yourself to look at him. “…that I like you.”

The following seconds, you can clearly see how his expression changes. His impatient gaze turns surprised, then confused, and at last as he realizes what you just said, his eyes are suddenly so full of warmth and tenderness. It surprises you and makes you turn all self-conscious.

“Don´t get hurt today.” You order him blushing bright red as you push him away, not daring to look at him. “Now, go.”

Tao nods, and starts to walk towards the others again. A relieved sigh leaves your lips: you said it. Now you just hope him knowing what you feel about him will help Tao and not bring him down. You suddenly feel so tired and heavy. You´re about to sit down on the sofa as a sound from in front of you makes you look up. Suddenly, you find yourself pushed up against the wall with a pair of lips pressed against yours. A muffled gasp leaves you in surprise. You feel how Tao breathes through his nose in a content manner before he breaks the kiss.

“…As my lucky charm.” He murmurs before he leaves.

A pair of dark brown eyes look at you almost shyly as he says it. Your head is spinning with emotion. It happened so quickly and you´re suddenly unsure if it happened at all.  Blinking, you look at Tao as he joins the others.

“You´re bright red.” You hear Chen comment as Tao reaches the hallway.

“Shut up!” Tao tells him.

The door closes loudly and they´re gone.

Dreamily, you lay down in the sofa. Although you want to go after them, you won’t. You´ve heard about dramas where the girl goes after and then ends up causing a lot of trouble. No, you will stay here. You will trust them to come back safe. You touch your lips. The surprise made you unable to feel it as much as you wanted to.

You want Tao to come back so you can do it…again.

You blush, Idiots, come back safely, and you fall asleep there.