Dear Butterfly,

            I’m sorry D. I promised to be there on the best time of your life, but I can’t keep that promise not when it pains me to see you very happy. I’m in love with you D, always been but I couldn’t find myself to tell you because I know what you feel for me and that is no more than a brother’s. I always thought it was harder to have your heart broken by the person you love that used to love you, I was wrong, not only harder but it hurts more to be broken b the person who knows nothing of how you feel for them. Being beside you is very bittersweet, it’s the only place I want to be at because it makes me happy but at the same time it’s the only place I didn’t want to be at because it’s where I’m hurt the worst.

            We were best friends since we were young, all the time you were happy or smiled because of someone else it felt like a blow to me. Every time I hear you say ‘I love you’ to someone but me was a stab to my heart. Every time you cry it felt like my world was falling apart. I may just be a page of your life D, but you were my whole book and each tear and each fold was a fold and a tear to my heart.

            Did you ever wonder why all my relationships were short? That’s because even if how much I tried to put my attention, my feelings to someone else I just find myself always coming back to you, to how I really feel. What’s worse is that each one of them always says ‘I’m not Dara’. It’s already wrong for me to try to take you off my heart using someone else and trying to turn them into you is much more wrong. But doesn’t it just say that everyone sees and knows my feelings for you but you. I realized the only reason why I tried to turn those girls similar to you because maybe that way I can feel how it would be like if you ever loved me or if you were them.

            When you met Yoochun, you looked very happy and of course I was too only it was just on the outside. Inside I was dying, asking in my head ‘why can’t you see me when I’m here right beside you?’. So many nights I always hoped that one day you’ll be able to see me in the way I want, but I know that’s just a dream too good to be true.

At some point