On the 5^th month

I smile as I watch Sungmin running around the kitchen as  he tried to make lunch for me. It was such a cute sight that had me giggle. He was frowning at the food on the stove which I think is fried rice. He was trying really hard for me and my twins even if we are not more than friends. Even when the twins I’m carrying isn’t even his.

Honestly, I am confused. I do not know what are we. We are not more than friends. We are not together. But the months we spend with him being my ‘husband’ had me confused.

I love Sungmin. He is always there for me. Since the day he admits himself as my ‘husband’, he takes care of me like I’m his wife. Like the twins are really his. He does and gets everything I wantand pampers me especially with love.

But I cannot deny the fact that I am still in love with the twin’s father. Even after everything he had done to me, I still love him. The days me and him had spent are still engraved in my mind no matter how hard I try to erase them. I couldn’t erase them.

Not yet.

“Wookie-ah”

I was pull from my thoughts when I heard my name being called and smile at the male in front of me. “Eat” he said to me. On the plate is omurice, just what I want him to make me. I began to dig in.

The first bite was delicious and I took another and another. Before I knew it, the food was gone and I chugged down the drink. That was when I realize that Sungmin was sitting across me, not eating that made me raise a brow.

“What are you eating?”

I ask and he smile as he shake his head.

“I ate before you called me. During lunch break”

He answered and I frown lightly. “I disturb your lunch, didn’t I?” immediately the reaction I got was a shake of his head. “I need to spend time with my wife and twins, don’t I?” the way he said wife and twins are so natural that made me really think and wish how true they were.

But there was a part of me hoping he wouldn’t say them. Wanting him to leave me. I do not know what is his feelings for me and I do not want him to return my feelings. All because I knw one day I would hurt him.

Maybe because he saw my face that got him worried which made him lock our fingers and grasp my hand softly. “What is wrong?” he ask and look at me with the same concern face that manage to make my heart go wild. I caught his eyes and somehow everything seems to froze.

“Ryeowook, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

He ask, concern about me.

I shook my head, not wanting him to know what I was thinking and send him a smile.

“Let’s go and watch the tv”

I said and he nod. He help me up since it was quite hard for me to stand since my stomach was getting bigger especially carrying twins. We went to the living where we took the couch. He sat on one side while I rest my head on his lap and took most of the space on the couch. He ran his fingers through my hair.

“Do you not have work to go?”

I ask and he shook his head. “Not yet sweetheart. I still have 30 minutes before my lunch break ends. I want to spend time with you”

He says kissing my forehead that made me smile.

“Okay”

I snuggle to him as he held me protectively.

“Sungmin” I called and he mumble a soft ‘hmm’ indicating he is listening to me. “Why do you stay with me? I mean, I am not your wife nor the twins are yours. Why stay with me?” I ask and he smile.

I ask him the same question a lot of time already. I know it’s annoying to ask the same thing everytime. Why stay with me? Why care for me? The truth was I want to hear those three words I’m dying to hear from his lips. But the answer I always get was the one I didn’t expect.

Like this one.

“Because I want to. I care for you. I want to be with you every second. I want to be your husband even if you do not want me to. I want to be the father to the twins. But most importantly because I want to be with you”

Says him and I smile, snuggling even close to him for his warmth. Every time he says things like that, my heart flutters. “Go to sleep” he says and I nod. “Will you come tonight?” I ask and he nod leaning down. For a second I thought he was going to kiss me.

“Always”

That night, I was at the living room fully dressed to go out. Kibum was by my side as she look at my stomach longingly. I knew she wanted a child of her own but it was still too early for her as she just got married to Siwon three weeks ago.

“Going out with Sungmin oppa?”

She ask and I smile, my cheeks heating up when I saw how Kibum look at me teasingly. “Yes. doctor says I should spend some time out of the house. To work my muscles out so that I wouldn’t be too lazy”

“Really? Or is it because you want to spend time with him?”

She ask and I flush a bright red that made Kibum shriek in delight. She cried out an ‘I knew it’. I glare at her. Just as I was about to flung myself to her and strangle her, the main door open and came in Sungmin and Jongwoon, talking as they laugh occasionally.

“Oppa!”

I cried out as I ran towards them and threw myself to Jongwoon. He let out an ‘umph!’ which was soon replace with a laugh.

“Ryeowook, you’re getting heavy”

I frown at him making him laugh again.

“Be careful” Sungmin said as he shook his head at me. I snuck my tongue out at him before I clung onto Jongwoon’s arms. “Oppa, Kibum is bothering me” I cried out childishly as I point towards Kibum. They all burst into laughter.

“Arent you going out with Sungmin?” when he sa me nod, Jongwoon push me lightly to Sungmin. “Why don’t you go now?”

 I puff my cheeks but nonetheless stomp towards the door. I heard them laughing behind me but I ignore them and made my way to Sungmin’s black BMW and got in. he went to the driver’s seat and fasten his seatbelt. He then turn to me and frown.

“ What?”

He lean closer, so close that I thought he was going to kiss me. I could feel his breath against mine. His lips was close that I had the urge to kiss him. Then he fasten my seatbelt and pull away, chuckling under his breath.

I was flustered.

In 10 minutes or so, we arrive at a park. I inhale the fresh air while Sungmin came to my side. He took my hands and we began our walk. A comfortable silence took over us but he decide to break it.

“How are you feeling?”

He ask and I smile, nodding my head lightly. “I’m fine” he smile. “Are the twins giving you a hard time?” I shook my head as Sungmin place his hand on my abdomen, where both my twins are resting. “ They keep me company when I’m lonely”

He smile and nod.

“Ryeowook, can I be the twin’s father?”

He voice out after minutes of silence and I look at him with wide eyes. He return me with a smile. “Don’t worry, I won’t ask you to marry me. I won’t force you to. But I want to be the replacement of your ex-husband if you let me. I want to be the twin’s father”

He said and before I can stop myself, I flung my arms around him. “Yes! Of course yes!” I cried out and he laugh, holding me to him.

“Will you let me court you?”

I nod.

“Can you let me propose to you after the twins are born?”

Although shock, I nod.

“And will you let me heal the wound he had left you? Make it mine, maybe?”

He ask and I hug him, not wanting to cry. I couldn’t believe it that this man want me. That he accept me, a divorcee and soon will be having twins. The fact that there will be other girls that is worthy enough to have him. But he chooses me.

So I sob out, “Please do”

He pull me close as he lean down and kiss my forehead, then my nose to my tears. His lips was brought to my ears and I heard those three words I’ve been wanting to hear.

On the 8^th Month

I let out a soft groan as I woke up for the day. My head throbs lightly and I got up. Only a hand stop me from doing so and when I look at my side, my eyes widen at the sight of Sungmin sleeping. Before I can stop myself, “Sungmin!” and threw myself to him. The male woke up immediately.

“Ryeowook?”

He groggily let out and I nod, reaching out, kissing his cheeks, nose, hair, forehead, everywhere except his lips. I miss him. I miss him too much. Too much that seeing him made my heart burst. He laugh and pull me closer to his chest. The only thing that was between us was my huge watermelon like stomach.

“I miss you too sweetheart”

He said and I inhale his scent. We stayed in each other’s arms in a comfortable silence.

“How was the wedding?”

I ask and he smile brushing my hair from my face. sungmin had been gone for a week to Korea. His friend got married, a good friend of his. I would have followed but the fact that I am huge and walking is too hard for me and also I wish not to return to Korea so soon restrain from following.

“It was touching. I hope we would have ours too” Sungmin said and I smile.

“I promise to propose when the twins are born so we have to wait” he said and I nod, holding onto his promise. Just then my stomach rumble that made both of us laugh.

“Come on. Let’s go and have some breakfast”

He said and I nod. We both got off the bed. I was about to go when I felt my legs getting wet. At first I thought, had I peed on myself? But then pain came to me that made me gasp. Is it time?

“Sungmin”

I manage to breath out and he was by my side. I clutch onto his arm and as calm as I can I manage to say to him,

What I remember for the past few hours?

The first thing was pain. Really huge pain that made me wanted to scream as loud as I can. The pain was just too much as tears flow down my cheeks. Then I saw white around me, Sungmin from time to time and I was on a wheelchair, wheeled into a room. I caught a glimpse of sigh ‘Labour room’

Then I remember being placed onto tis bed as the doctor urge me to push. And so I did a few times. Sungmin was by my side at those time. I push and push and push until I got really tired. Too tired to do anything else.

Then I head a cry, a loud baby’s cry that made all of my pain go away. I was frozen for a moment when I saw the nurse held my son in her arms, showing me slightly of him. But then the pain came that made me scream. That was when I realize that my son’s brother is still in me and the thought of seeing him strengthen me.

Despite the pain and tiredness, I did my best as I can and finally he came. But there was no cry that made me force to look. My second was in the nurse hand, he was blue and h was too quiet that made me panic.

“Don’t worry, he’ll be fine”

Sungmin said and before I knew it, everything turn black and I out.

When I open my eyes, Sungmin was standing at the window. I let out a groan wanting to tell him I’m awake. He turn and I realize he had a bundle in his arms. It took me a moment to process that it was my son.

“Hey”

He said as I sat up. “Don’t move too much” he said nearing me and when he was close, I reach out for my baby. He hand me my son. My son had my hair, wide brown eyes that stare back at me. I smile and for a moment nothing matters. Then I remember his twin.

“Where’s –“

“Don’t worry. They just need him in the incubator. He needs help to breath but they say it was a normal problem with twins so nothing much to worry about. We’ll see him by tomorrow”

He explain and I nod, although feeling worried but I knew my second son is in good hands of the hospital crew. Then I turn my attention to my son in my arms and smile.

“Have you had a name for him?”

Sungmin ask and immediately one came to mind.

Me and Sungmin went to see doctor the next day. Me and Jongdae are discharged but Jongdae’s brother isn’t. He had requested for us and my chest was built with full of worry. We sat across him and he immediately told us the news.

“We will let your son discharge tomorrow as we need to supervise him. I am sorry to say this but your son has low red blood cell. We really need to supervise him”

He said and the whole world drown. When I ask him if I could hold and see my son, he nod and inform the nurse. We went to where Jongdae’s brother was and when the nurse hand me my crying son, I had the urge to cry.

He was so small and frail that I felt like I could crush his body if I hold him too tight. But the moment he got into my arms, his cries slows down and when he stares into my eyes, I smile.

He had a black hair but he looks the same as Jongdae.

“Jongin”

I say and Sungmin who was beside me while holding Jongdae who was sleeping look at me in confusion.

“His name is Jongin. Kim Jongin”

Sungmin nod and took my hands.

We stood there with the twins as I tried to cradle Jongin to sleep. Sungmin turn to me with a smile.

“Hey, remember my promise?”

He ask and I look at him, my eyes wide open.

“I know this isn’t the right place nor a romantic place”

No, it’s perfect.

“But I am a man who is stupidly in love with you”

You are stupid for falling for me.

“But I want to ask you in front of the twins”

Ask me, please.

“Will you marry me?”