His Pain

Ilhoon strolled down the escalator fast. He had his luggage clutched in his hands already and his feet lightly brought him to the girl he had always love. It’s been years—4 perhaps since he lasted seen her. Their last meeting was full of bittersweet and it had haunted him for his entire life. But now, everything will change, everything will be different. He’s coming for her. He’s meeting her right now.

He flew passed people, ran through building and finally a paradise came to his sight. Shin Sena’s gallery. He was sweating, panting and definitely not in the most perfect way of meeting her but what can he do? He loves her too much to even spare some more minutes of dolling himself up.

His hands were sweaty. What should he say first? What must he do first? How is he going to face her? Will she greet him or is she going to pretend like she doesn’t know him? Is she blaming him for what had happened between her and Sehun? You think so much, Jung Ilhoon.

“Yes? How can I help you, sir?” The receptionist welcomed him with a nice smile. Ilhoon felt home already. He shook his head and remained panting. It was a long way from the airport to this place and boy why didn’t he choose to travel by a cab? The lady looked at him weirdly and was about to call in for security.

“No, don’t!” He waved his hands. “I’m actually—do you have any water?” She hurried off to get some drinks for the barely breathing Ilhoon. He quietly went for a seat at the sofa and rested his head there—Sena is just somewhere inside this building.

“Are you here to look around, sir?” Ilhoon smiled and shook his head. “I’m here for Shin…ah, no… Sena Shin.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Miss Sena,” Someone called her from outside. She looked up from her easel and nodded at the receptionist. A few of the workers who are resting at the lounge room waited for her as well—busybodies.

“Someone’s here from you.” Her attention is now fully on the girl. Someone—who could that be? Sena brushed her paint-stained fingers and walked towards her. “He looks like an Asian and he has a luggage with him. It’s seem like he just came here in Italy.”

Sena’s heart was already racing. Who was it? Is it Sehun? “Miss,” She shook away the thoughts and looked at the receptionist again. “Did he tell you his name?” She carefully asked. The girl shook her head and looked at the floor—realizing that she didn’t do her job perfectly. Sena excused her and decided to check the visitor herself—if it’s Sehun then…she’ll figure out what to do next.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He was eyeing her drawings, one by one—and it all feels like Sena herself. So much elegance, grace…every paintings have their own stories. That’s her number one principal; to create a story within a rectangular canvas.

And his step came to a stop at a particular painting. It had the label, ‘1004’ below it and above was a picture of a boy on a stage. He’s having a time of his life and enjoying himself—clearly the opposite of this current Ilhoon. ‘She still remembers me after all.’ He was so whirled inside the painting that he did not realize the presence of another person there.

“How was it?” She asked. He turned around almost immediately and came face-to-face with her. He dropped his luggage and hugged her tightly, hoping that time would stop for them. And when he pulled away, he leaned in for a stolen kiss. She glared at him and kicked his legs. It wouldn’t be normal for a formal vice director to act like this right? But Sena couldn’t care less.

“It’s been eons since I last seen you!” He hugged her again, this time spinning her around. “I miss you so much! Everything about you, I miss them so freaking much!” She laughed and pulled away from his embrace.

“Come, I’ll show you around.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So, vice director, huh?” He sipped through the Americano and eyed here. Sena still looks the same—her hair is curly though now and her face is covered with a little tint of makeup. He’s happy that she’s living quite well right now.

“That’s just title, oppa. I’m really just the artists behind the paintings, nothing much.” He nodded and looked into the orbs of Sena’s eyes. His hands went cupping her cheeks, grazing them and finally letting out soft pinches. “How could you leave just like that?” He looked bitterly at their now tangled hands. “I miss you, all of us do.”

She shifted her eyes to somewhere else and huffed down her seat. She shrugged and sipped at her own drink. “I guess…I just need something to focus on except from those trivial things back then. I felt like if I didn’t want to hurt hi—everyone, I must’ve as well just leave first.”

 “Say Sena,” He finally spoke after they landed on a small awkward moment. “Did you think on what I said that day?” He has to make sure of this now—it’s been years and Ilhoon felt like he’s pushing this down for so long already.

“Which one?” She slowly asked. Of course she knows which one it is—she thought about that every night before she falls asleep. Ilhoon was willing enough to be just shadow, the one Sena would used if she wants to.

“Never mind,” He laughed it off. He watched her lips forming a small smile and unknowingly, he smiled back. This is it—closure. That’s the real reason actually but why hadn’t him have the courage to say anything back then? Sena slipped her hand into his and Ilhoon was touched with her act of kindness. She’s saying ‘I’m Sorry’.

“Let’s just promise this one thing okay,” Ilhoon went in for another hug and her head smoothly. “Sena, if we ever meet first in our next lives, please be mine”.

The music swayed deeper into the rhythm and Sena felt like returning back to her school days. She looked at him and he nodded his head. He’s right; she loved him once and it wouldn’t hurt to love him more than Sehun in her next life would it? So, she made a promise with him and they sealed it with a pinky promise—their way. 

“I know I’ll have to let you go eventually so that you’re happy. But not now, Sena—don’t come to him just yet—stay with me for a bit. I’ll promise to fill his spot for this moment. I love you the same as he loves you.” I'm in pain too.

“…okay.”