I love you.

The three words have always been the hardest thing Daehyun can ever say. Since he was young, he had never experienced love before. He doesn’t even know what love is. Daehyun had never believed in love, he always thought love is just a waste of time. Why should he wasting his own precious time on useless thing. He thought he will never understand it.

“Hello! I am Bang YongGuk, nice to meet you all.” it was the first day every members gathered at the dorm and introducing each other. Everyone is busily trying to know each other well except for one. The one is no other than Jung Dae Hyun. It is not that he was proud or what? He just thinks that it will be easier if everyone stay as work partner, nothing more. So since he wanted that, why would he waste even one second on introduction?

Daehyun could still clearly remembered that day he sat at on couch, staring at the television, not really paying attention till one guy approached him.

“You are Daehyun right?” the deep yet y voice somehow able captured the younger’s heart. Daehyun turned around, feelings a bit shocked how close his leader’s face to his. “Erm…yeah…” Daehyun cursed about embarrassing himself on the first day. “Haha, you are so cute, I hope we will become very good friend.” That day Daehyun still didn’t know why his heart skipped a beat, why would there a slight patch of red covering his face. All he did was ignoring the older for the whole day.

Daehyun had never regretted his action, he thought that is the right thing to do. He feels that it is wrong being called cute but somehow he had accidentally ignored the tiny voice which is calling out for the leader.

He will never forget the first time the leader gently patted his head. “Daehyun, why aren’t you talking to me?” the leader incautiously whined. “Stop, you are not in for cuteness.” His voice was so cold, so distance. “Ouch! Daehyun, I just hope we can be good friends.” YongGuk showed out his usual gummy smile. Daehyun couldn’t understand why his heart always feels warmth whenever he saw that smile. “We are.” “We are not.” “We are.” “Daehyun,” this time his voice contained much forces, “Did I did something wrong?” I shook my head. “Hyung! The manager is calling you.” YongGuk sighed but very fast he recovered with a smile again, “Well if is like that, I hope we can talk more.” Before he left, his hand patted on Daehyun’s small head. At that time, Daehyun definitely had forgotten how many he had his head.

Now months had passed, nothing had changed except for one person. He had been staring intensely at his leader. Everywhere the leader is, he will be there. His face maybe poker, no emotions are shown but in his black eyes, able to find the hurt. The person is no other than Jung Daehyun.

He couldn’t tell when he falls in love, he loves everything his leader does. He finds himself waking up in the midnight, walking quietly to his leader just to check if he covers himself properly. He finds himself always remember to prepare extra thing for his leader; no matter is in term of clothes, food, water or what. He finds himself worrying over his leader whenever his leader was injured. He finds himself getting livid when his leader who is the one is getting the scolding but not him. Wait, since when the leader is his. It will never be.

At first, he thought he was just being thoughtful and nice towards but soon he found it was not. The moment he saw YongGuk chattering happily with Jieun behind the stage, he knows something is wrong. The feelings he are feeling are undesirable and he just wants them to be disappear. The hot burning sensation travelled around his whole body when he saw the ’s hand touching YongGuk’s.  That was when he knows he falls in love.

Now Daehyun found himself standing in front of the leader’s room. No one will know how badly Daehyun wants to scream out the three words right in front of YongGuk face. He trembled so hard that he didn’t realise that tears are welling up in his eyes.

The door suddenly snapped open. Daehyun immediately hung his head as low as possible. The timing is wrong. YongGuk shouldn’t be seeing this. “Daehyun? Are you okay?” “Stop being good to Me.” he muttered. “What? Daehyun, you have something to say, is it?” “I hate you.” even though, Daehyun said it fast but it is clear enough to hear. The atmosphere is tense. “WH-what?” YongGuk chocked. Daehyun ran away as fast as possible, out from his sight, out from the dorm, out from his pathetic world.

Daehyun will never know how his words had scarred the leader’s poor heart. From the start, YongGuk has already known Daehyun doesn’t like him but why? He couldn’t understand. He doesn’t remembering him breaking something or says thing badly about him. Instead, Bang YongGuk love him, from the first day his eyes found the resting place on Daehyun. YongGuk feels that his heart is crumpling up, the pain is killing him. The moment had only been about one minute but he feels that years had passed. YongGuk is tired, tired of everything. He shouldn’t be hated on since he done nothing wrong. He needs to know. He needs to know why!

Soon, YongGuk already discovered himself running on the street. He doesn’t even mind other people staring at him weirdly when he was shouting, “Jung Daehyun! You this coward, come out now!” He searched for Daehyun high and low but still failed. Finally, he reached the tree where Daehyun always come whenever he feels down. Even though, YongGuk’s eyes are small but he could still see the shadow flashing on the ground. The surrounding is quiet enough to hear how piercing enough the cried is. Why would Daehyun be crying? Daehyun hates him. YongGuk feels that he should be the one who is crying.

“Why?” Daehyun immediately stood up from his seating position. He wiped away his tears hastily and looked up at the leader. “What why?” YongGuk hates how sometime Daehyun can be stubborn. “The three words, what have I done to deserve those three words.” YongGuk raised his voice. “Nothing…” Daehyun avert his eyes to everywhere except YongGuk. “Look at me. I need to know.” Daehyun flinched a little bit, seeing how serious YongGuk is. “What you want know?” “DAEHYUN!”

“Stop being good to me, you should ignore me. I hate myself being like that. I don’t deserve to be treated well. You should just leave me alone and I thought you will after I treated you coldly. However, I was wrong. You didn’t leave me instead you continue be with me which till now I don’t know why. Now what I am going to say, you may feel disgusting, annoyed, and unbelievable. I love you. I don’t know how I manage to turn love into hate. My love for you is real; you can choose not to believe. I don’t know when I love you. I always feel it is hard to say the three words. I love you more than just friend and I know it is wrong. I always wanted to say I love you but I feel it is hard. It is so hard that I choose to cover it instead. Every time seeing you being close with others, no matter is girls or boys; I feel like punching them and shout you are mine. However I know it is impossible. Bang YongGuk, I love you.”

The leaves on the ground must be thinking how watery they are right now. The moment Daehyun opened his mouth, the well-kept tears automatically fell. He doesn’t care if he looks ugly right now, he just can’t stop them. Suddenly, he was being pulled into the tight hug. He froze, he don’t know what to do.

“My cutie, how can you say you don’t know how to say I love you? You just said it so many times.”

“Did I?” Daehyun suddenly blushed badly. He doesn’t know he can let those words out so easily.

“My cutie, from the first day I had already laid my eyes on you but you ignored me. I feel so hurt about it. I thought I did something wrong but you said I didn’t. I couldn’t understand why you so cold? And just now you said I hate you, I felt that my world is crumpling. But right now, rainbow is shinning. I love you, Jung Daehyun.”

“I love you too.” It is easy to say I love you when he was just right in his arms.