I couldn’t move. Moving meant facing the world. I sat on my couch staring at the T.V. before me. Another bombing somewhere in the world. Another man shot in the streets. Another child put in danger. The voices of BBC droned on as I stared back at the T.V screen in silence. It was like this everyday. The same stories over and over again. It made me sick to hear such horrific stories and to see each gruesome picture displayed before me. But the reporters face never changed and neither did mine. I wasn’t living it. It was far away; in Africa, the Middle East, and China even. Why should I worry about protets in Hong Kong? Or the growing tensions between North and South Korea? I was just watching T.V. It’s just another show. As long as I stayed here on my cozy couch, nothing could hurt me. I was untouchable.

Another forest fire. No forests near me, I didn’t need to worry. I watched as more and more happened. Eventually the show ended for the day and I laughed as I watched some stupid midnless followup. There was no point, yet it was so addicting. My face contorted in a multitude of faces, all trying to cover up the pain of what I’d previously seen. But the anchors were never affected, so why should it hurt me? And so I just laughed and pushed back the bile in my throat. I laughed and pretended that everything was okay and that the world was not dying behind my T.V. screen

There was a robbing down the street; a little too close for comfort. I was sure to lock all my doors and windows. I kept a bat by my bed just in case. Every creak in the old house terrified me as I waited for the masked man to come and take me. But he never did and I woke the next morning with a bat by my bed and shook my head. How foolish of me; this only happens on T.V. I returned the bat to its proper place, far from my room, and went about my day. That night I watched the T.V. That gruesome show called the news: telling me stories of people’s horrible days. And I just sat. That’s all I could do. I sat and I stared, barely hearing a word. Because listening means that I know. I know what’s going on. If I don’t know I can just ignore it and go on with my life. Starving kids in Africa? How can I trust your source? I try to justify my lack of expression by telling myself it’s all a lie. This is only T.V. in fact. T.V shouldn’t be taken seriously. I yawned and streatched, ready for bed. No bat for me tonight. It’s all in my head.

And so I fell asleep on the couch, while the T.V. blared incessantly before me. I woke with a fright, the news still on. An urgent report! What hellish thing has happened now?! I watched on in awe as the newsreporter began to sweat. He wasn’t stoic this time and that scared me to death. If he can react, then surely I must. But it’s all a lie! That’s what I’ve always told myself! I hurriedly pressed power and the man’s face faded from my screen. But the image of his frightened eyes still lingered in my mind. I breathed in deeply as I wrapped myself in the blankets. I tried to snuggle back down, too scared to leave the safety of my couch.

I woke up again, and the T.V. was on. The same man stared back at me, his face set in a frown.

“Something must be done!” A man cried; somewhere far away like Turkey or China. My eyes were bleary as I took it all in. The violence, the murder, the corruption; its all blurred together. I shut my eyes in hopes of blocking it out, but it’s as if the volume grew louder and louder.

“Stop it!” I yelled, “Just stop it already! I get it, I get it!” I got up in a hurry and turned it off once again.

The silence was deafening as I took my seat again. I stared avidly at the blank screen before me. Nothing is happening. Isn’t that nice for a change? I smiled as I took in the silence. Then it all happened at once. The T.V. and I let out a scream.

“No! Shut up! I told you to stop!” And I stood once again, pulling the plug. And it went out with a flash and I stood there panting, tears streaking down from my eyes. “Stop it… Just stop…” I murmered while wiping my eyes, plug still clasped in my hand tightly.

The T.V. remained unplugged and my life went on without it. The silence was golden and I fell asleep in my bed with a smile for the first time in weeks. The next morning I awoke with a strange feeling. My home felt unsafe and I felt extremly vulnerable. I slowly crept down the stairs to see what was amiss. Instantly I saw what was wrong. My back door hung open, the window was smashed. My eyes traced down the hallway and through the doorways. My T.V. was gone: someone had stolen the darn thing! I broke out in a sweat and sunk to the ground. My mind raced and I was suddenly reminded of all of those late night news shows. Was someone watching me now as I had watched them? Did they stare on passively as I sat on the stairs in tears? Did they frown and change the channel as the Police arrived to fill out yet another report? I blinked and the images were gone, but my thoughts were still a mess. How could this happen!? Who would do this to me!? I had done nothing! Nothing!

And then I thought again. I had done nothing. Exactly: nothing! I had witnessed such horrific things on that T.V. I was given the knowledge and a chance to make things better. But I failed. My heart ached as I rocked myself back and forth on the stairs. I ripped at my hair as I mourned the child shot last week, protesters silenced, the innocent bystanders caught between gunfire in so many places in the world.

And once I was done crying, I felt a little relieved. I was done being stoic and I was without a T.V. The burden was gone, I was no longer responsible. I had no knowledge of the world around me. Let that hellish machine torture some other poor soul.

So, this is more... serious and realistic I guess than I usually write and I'm not quite sure on its meaning and what I want it to convey and hdjksfksdjf. So, its kinda scares me, but I guess once your writing starts worrying/scaring you your doing something right and actually thinking? Haha, idk. But please tell me what you think, but be nice. :) This doesn't necissarily reflect my opinions, because frankly I'm stll not sure what its saying. But yeah, please leave a comment! :)

Thanks!~