Musings  ofASenior

He looks like a child in adults clothes.

The shoulder hangs an inch or two below where it should be.  Jongin is tall, so Taemin isn’t sure how the stylists managed to get him such ill-fitting clothes that hang off his slender frame like drapes. He thinks that maybe the younger should be offended but Jongin doesn’t say a bitter word about it- all sheepish laughs and amused statements of ‘maybe they’ll fit better after lunch.’

Kai. It's Kai now but remembering that is considerably harder than remembering the stage name of two of his own band members. There must be a logical explanation to that, he is sure.

Jongin is all warm smiles and embraces. And loud. That blissful state in which not every word to fall out of one’s mouth needs to be filtered. Insecurities about having darker skin than others despite reassurances from Jessica that it is y- kkamjong will fade  away once they pass that awkward age of adoloscence where anything is a matter to pick on. He hates being the maknae, Jongin never forgets to insist so, but it doesn't take much time around him to notice that he enjoys being pampered. He isn’t as demanding as Sehun, and doesn't even like the treatment from everyone. But there are a few, and he for one doesn't mind being one of the select few at all. Time and again, Taemin finds himself treating Jongin to lunch or allowing him to stick to his side when they are somewhere new, receiving passing witty comments about the two being joined at the hip as a small joke.

Kai is the maknae who never was the maknae. He speaks slowly, measured and somewhere in the watchful construction of his words, Taemin sees Jongin. Jongin who is terrified of making a bad impression, and scared of looking stupid.  The pure innocence. He says it out loud and the others laugh, they tell him he has an older brother complex, but no one pushes the joke too far because in his own way, each one is aware that they do too. Their toddler, after Yoogeun’s departure from their life and a drunken conservation, even Minho had started growing incredibly close to the young dancer. No one questions it because they understand, and Jongin only shoots Taemin a confused looks once in a while when at an unsuspecting moment, he is pulled into a tight hug.

It’s when he dances that Taemin is confused. Because he has seen Jongin dance from a time before his growth spurt, and he knows that he has always had potential. But at some point the way his body moved became so overtly ual- to an extent that ignoring such an obvious matter seemed futile. Maybe that was Kai. Or so he believed because Jongin didn’t dance for a crowd, he danced to dance. Even then, there was something undeniably Jongin about it.  The way he delves in without a care for anything else in the world.

Jongin glances over at him and smiles when he catches his gaze, and Taemin doesn’t mind being caught staring. He laughs. Quietly, only for a moment- it’s almost an amused scoff, and Jongin is tilting his head in bewilderment. Taemin averts his eyes and hides his smile.

Jongin.

Jongin glances down at the blue shirt that is two sizes too big, smoothes a hand over it and glances at Taemin with a question in his eyes. He shakes his head in response. No, there is nothing wrong. Other than everything.

When the camera lights flash, Kai has such a flawless expression of indifference that Taemin is certain that he’s been practicing it. Because Jongin isn’t an actor by any means.

It doesn’t occur to him as such till they're standing behind the computer screens and Sulli is murmuring suggestions to Jongin, hushed and careful. Jongin is listening, and the small creases between his brows of concentration is endearing to Taemin.

The truth is he hasn’t taught him anything, in that sense of the word. Taemin doesn’t need to. Jongin is observant and a faster learner than most give him credit for. At first he would feel the heavy gaze while dancing but soon it was easy to ignore. If Taemin were honest, he would even admit that he felt a sense of pride in being the one Jongin looked up to. So the small voice why which he calls him ‘sunbae’ for the cameras isn’t cynical.

“Stop staring.”

“Monitoring.”

“Yeah, okay.” Krystal rolls her eyes and he doesn’t attempt to hide his smile.

“God, you look so lovesick it’s disgusting.” Taemin laughs boisterously, his head tips back as something lights his eyes. The expression is unreadable, and Krystal doesn’t expect an answer. She walks away with a bewildered and amused smile, giving up on the attempt to understand Lee Taemin. Once she is gone, his gaze is once again fixed on Kai.

What he misses in that fraction of a second is the bewildered expression of the photographer. He misses the amused look on the producer’s face as he moves one of the pictures to another file.

Taemin never sees the evidence of Jongin’s momentary lapse, he  doesn’t catch the quirk of his lips and his gaze on the floor to hide a smile. Neither does he notice that his stance has changed a bit, and he seems  more, if only by a fraction, relaxed. He doesn’t think Jongin had heard the conversation at all.

He does think, however, that Jongin’s eyes seem a little brighter when he looks up, and wonders idly if it’s a play of the lights.

A.N/ so not really happy with it so I might come back and edit it a bit ><;
         but there you go! T_T TaeKai is just so ing precious y'all don't even know. 
         or maybe you do ._. you are reading this after all lol~ 
         Thanks for reading ^^ Comments are always appreciated~