Changmin couldn't sleep. It had been 3 weeks since he decided to live with Yunho. They lived in Changmin's apartment, an apartment near the hospital just in case if Yunho needed something. No parents of course. He really only wanted to be with Yunho all alone. Of course when he said he wanted to move back to his apartment with Yunho, neither Yunho’s parents nor his parents accepted that, but he insisted them. He promised that he would take a good care of Yunho. It was too obvious for their parents that Changmin had fallen hard for Yunho.

He turned around just to see the older man. Yunho looked better. Yes, he looked better. But it didn't mean Yunho really got better, and it hurt Changmin so much. Changmin could feel his heart aching so bad, it was like his heart was hit by a super big hammer. He moved closer to Yunho and lingered his arms around the older one's waist. He started kissing the back neck of Yunho. Softly as if he was trying not to break it. Small kisses were everywhere.

And to say the truth, Yunho wasn't asleep. Yunho couldn't sleep anymore but he didn't open his eyes. He was overwhelmed just by the small kisses when actually he got Changmin's lips every morning.

The kisses were stopped. Changmin placed his head on Yunho's shoulder and leaned closer to him. He could feel tears were filling his eyes and ready to fall down at anytime. He didn't understand why he wanted to cry. But he couldn't hide the fact that he was going to cry at any second.

"Please don't go," he begged as the first tear rolled down. The tears were fallen to Yunho's neck and Yunho couldn't do anything but to blame himself for everything.

---

I opened my eyes just to find that the bed next to me was empty. But the good thing was that I smelled something good and it should be Changmin's cooking. I wondered what it was. I stood up and walked slowly to the kitchen.

I sneaked through the kitchen and back-hugged Changmin all of sudden, making him jolted in surprise. Luckily he didn't throw away the pan and food. I tightened the hug and placed my head on his crook. He continued to cook without saying anything to me. His eyes were still a bit swollen, it was better not to ask him.

"Hyung, if you do this to me, I can't concentrate to my cooks," he said, poking my hands softly.

"Then just leave it," I said while tightening my hug. I didn't know why I acted like this, but it seemed like I was more scared than before. Scared that someday he would leave. Or I would leave. Maybe Changmin knew how I felt because he didn't protest me. He kept cooking even we both knew I disturbed him.

"How about you take a bath?" Changmin suggested. "I'll finish my cooking as you finish your bath. Okay?"

I nodded but didn't move. Let me stay like this... 5 more minutes. No, just 1 minute. Would you let me?

Suddenly he turned off the stove, turned around and faced me. The distance between our faces was just about an inch. I could see his lovely deer eyes staring into my orbs. He gave me a small smile. Put his hand on my head, he caressed my hair softly, and moved slowly to my ear, then to my cheek. I closed my eyes--please don't ask me because I didn't know why too. His touch moved to my neck and his hand stopped right behind my neck.

"I know what you're thinking about," he whispered suddenly. I felt his hot breathe as he moved a bit closer. I opened my eyes again just to see his eyes were straight to me. He smiled.

"No one will leave"

---

"Look what I bought!"

Yunho turned his head and suddenly looked so happy. He jumped from the bed and ran to Changmin.

"Strawberry!"

Changmin chuckled at what he saw. But he liked it. It seemed like Yunho really loved strawberries. Maybe he should buy some more strawberries. Yunho should love it.

"For me? For me? For me?" Yunho asked while jumping around like a little bunny. He didn't look like a sick people if he was like that, Changmin thought while smiling at him. He seriously liked it when Yunho looked so energetic and happy, jumping here and there like a cute innocent bunny. Yunho took the box full of strawberries and got back to the bed, smiling happily while opening his precious box of strawberries. Changmin followed Yunho to the bed, sat there while staring at the happy boy.

Yunho was busying himself with stuffing strawberries to his mouth, while Changmin was lost in his train of thoughts. Until when could he saw this side of Yunho? The happy Yunho. The Yunho who looked like he was never sick. He smiled bitterly at his hyung and took a pillow to give it a tight hug. Yunho noticed that something was in Changmin's mind and he knew he needed to know about that. He definitely hated to see Changmin like that.

"What are you thinking about?" Yunho asked while putting the box of strawberries on the lamp desk next to the bed. "Spill it Changmin. No secret between us, right?"

---

"... No secret between us, right?" Yunho said to me.

I nodded and smiled. How many months were left for us?

"Hyung, let's have...... A therapy fo-"

"No."

I shut my mouth. It wouldn't work; he didn't want and didn't want to change his mind. I looked away from him. I wasn't angry, just disappointed. But who wouldn't? I didn't want to lose anyone. Especially you, Yunho.

"Min ah~ please don't be like that," he said after moved closer. "This sickness is hurting me every time, every day, every minute, every second. To have another pain on me is just like the last thing I would do. Can't we let it be as it is?"

Let it be as it was? I turned around and glared at him. But he smiled, pulled away the pillow and hugged me tightly.

"Changmin ah~ I'm always having the pain aching in my body. Especially when the headache is coming, it's really hurting me. Every time I nosebleed, every time I faint, I count the frequency of them. They happen really quickly these days. And I can't do much," he said while hugging me. Should you talk like that, hyung?

"It really hurts me physically and mentally. And having therapy is just like adding another pain to me. It hurts and we both know it," he continued. "Please don't force me."

I sighed and said, "Even just once? I promise it won't hurt you like what you think. A little bit hurt in the beginning, but after some therapies you'll be recovered and fine. Please?"

There was a long silence before he patted my back and said, "I'll think about it, okay?"

Please do it for us...

---

It was 1 a.m. The wind blew softly, but the coldness hit me to the bones. Changmin had slept and I was alone at the balcony, with my cigarettes and lighter. If Changmin was awake, he might be taking my cigarette and stepped on it. Protective yet cute guy he was. I breathed in and blew the smoke up. Slowly I saw the smoke lost in the middle of the cold night. Would I be just like the smoke? Just disappeared when the death came to me?

I pulled my cigarette and surprised that there was something red on it. I touched my nose and found that I nosebleed again. I threw away my cigarette and stepped on it. I got inside the apartment and just put my box of cigarettes and lighter on the table before I ran to the bathroom. I had to wash my face and stayed there until my nose stopped bleeding. I looked myself in the mirror and smiled.

Yes, Yunho. You might just disappear from everyone's heart and mind. And a thought struck him all of sudden.

Will Changmin just erase him away?

---

[N/A] : Hellow everyone! *hugs* I have this on draft for a longgggggggg longgggggg time and just now I had time to review and post this for you guys! ♥ I hope you enjoy this chapter~! *don't kill me to make Yunho and Changmin sad, pleaseee?* love you guys ;D