whoops. Sorry it took so long. I had lots of pending school work.

Below will be notes I took down while reading your oneshot. And the tidier version will be at the bottom

Yes, I noticed that your english isn't that fluent already at your request =]

The front page is pretty. I liked the mirror that Seohyun was in. But it doesn't look like her.

I don't know Trax, so I can understand their character from what you write instead of what I understand. Understand? >< means for example Key has his stereotyped diva image, so if I don't know Key and let's say I'm reading a Key fic in which he isn't a diva, I won't doubt it.

"The downpour was very disturbing my vision." <---- you mean the downpour was disturbing my vision a lot. And you slowed down, don't need to mention speed.

My god, Jungmo's reaction to the news. It's pulling at my heart.

Seohyun's story seems a little weird. She didn't sound like she loved Jay. She sounded more sorry. I can see she's a girl who keeps her promises (but that is also because she likes Jay and all)

Wait a minute, so Jungmo leaves like that. Where's the manager hyung?!

The flashbacks were there to show........what? That Jungmo knew about Jay having a crush? It looked like random snippets of their time together.

Jungmo falls asleep on Jay's bed. I can see that he treasures their friendship alot. Plus, Jay also does. He has a picture of them both in his room. Jay wants to keep both of them, Seohyun and Jungmo.

Aww he died T_T I think he should have held Jungmo's hand instead of Seohyun's in sign of thanking him and asking for his forgiveness. All of this started because Jungmo didn't forgive him. I felt it should be connected to the beginning somehow.

-Genre
I'll put this somewhere between angst, friendship and sad. No romance at all. I don't feel it.

-Plot
A common plot and scene in dramas (usually the last few episodes). They emphasize on their torn feelings more than what's happening, because nothing is happening, except for the character who is driving. Then magically, when he thinks everything through and all his thoughts are clear, BOOM car crash. Then the character either dies, or lives with a trauma or a broken leg.
I believe your plot can be expanded more. Like who the hell is the one that knocked Jay down? Was it his own carelessness or there's someone plotting something against him? Okay that's my imagination being crazy, sorry.
Although it's common, the plot has been explained clearly, which alot fail to do so, because they tend to skip a lot =]
Towards the end you made it more into the romance route than the original friendship route. Or was your original the romance route?
 

-Characters
I feel Jungmo man, I feel him. He's so devastated throughout the story. Like he's disappointed with the world but tries to hold on to his spirits and right mind so that he doesn't go crazy, but he's tired of doing so and wants to go crazy. Then he sees Jay holding Seohyun's hand before he passes on. That's like a stab in the heart plus salt
Seohyun's character though.......I don't know. From what I see, she's like the kind of girl who doesn't care much about other people's feelings, a little bit selfish.
Jay. I don't know about him either. He seems, messed up. And when he dies, why does he say I'm gone? It feels, awkward.

-Overall
Besides the english that you need to improve on, I feel Jungmo's sadness. Other than that, nothing else.

Mark: B -