He opened slowly his eyes that morning, the light was entering the room softly when his alarm rang. A soft moan in the pillow followed by a grunt and he finally got out of the bed. It seemed like a nice morning, once he went out of his room a nice smell of food invaded his lungs, he quickly run down the stairs into the kitchen and found a still-in-his-pajama Hyukjae that was cooking some eggs on the stove. He went over for the good morning hug, and without thinking he gather him in his arms from behind, burying his nose in the crook of that smooth neck, tickling his friend’s face with his curly morning hair “morning” he muttered, with hoarse voice. It was an habit, he always did it, he was a touchy person and everybody knew, his friend especially; but suddenly  he felt weird, he wasn’t sure he could do that anymore, he remembered all the things form the night before, it felt all like an awkward dream but now that he was fully awake he could feel a soft pain in his chest. He was about to let go when a warm hand caressed his own “morning to you Hae” Hyukjae said with a smile; it was always like that, they had morning hugs and Hyukjae was always so patient with him, and so nice to hug back or just touch his hand. He liked that kind of warmth, that type of holding hands that came from back hugs, it was just one of his favorite things to do; he was afraid for a moment he couldn’t do it anymore, but that gentle touch made him relax.

He let go of his friend before going to sit near the table “how come you are cooking?” he asked almost giggling; usually he was the one to wake up earlier, so he always ended up preparing food, oh well not always but often.

“I was so freaking hungry...I just had to get out of the bed” his friend said turning around the frying pan in one hand; he put half of the amount of the eggs in each plate, toasts were already on the table, and he took the orange juice from the fridge.

“I see...slept well?” he didn’t know what to say, they were acting like nothing happened.

“Not really...but at least I slept” few words, and there was silence again. It was an heavy silence, not a comfortable one, he felt like asking, asking so many questions to his friend, but how could he? It was better to drop the matter. Still there was one thing he needed to ask.

“Are we acting like nothing happened and decided not to talk about it?” they didn’t need many words, there was no reason to say it in a more precise way, Hyukjae knew what they were talking about.

The other looked up from his plate, then looked down again blushing lightly “Yes, can’t we just drop the matter?” his voice was low, he was asking it, but not pretending it; like if Donghae wanted to talk about it he was prepared to it.

“Ok” he said with a wide smile, he didn’t want his friend to feel bad about it “ but, can I act natural near you?” Hyukjae nodded “ can I hug you as I normally do?” he nodded again “what about kisses?”

“Yah Hae! This way we are going to talk about it!” Hyukjae frowned and pouted, eating all his eggs in one mouthful afterwards. Donghae couldn’t help but laugh at him.

“We have to talk about something anyway no? we are friends Hyuk, I just want to know if you are going to act weird from now on. You know I act without thinking sometimes and I’m too clinging, if there is something you are uncomfortable of, just tell me” he didn’t like the thought that what happened could change the way they were always so natural with each other.

“ You can do what you want Hae, hug me, kiss me, like you always did...just no tongue involved please” he said calmly, a slight embarrassment in  his voice.

“a-ah...you are the one talking about it now” he said pointing a finger on his friend shoulder and poking him a bit.

“Yes I know...you talk too much, let’s just stop it now! I’m going to be late to work...first in the shower” and that said he run over the bathroom and closed the door. Donghae was surprised by him and didn’t have time to reply, he looked around, then on the table , he is always making me do the dishes.

But then he smiled, things were ok between them, they were cool even after that almost- session; a shiver down his spine why did I thought of it like this? ? No was involved anyway, and we weren’t going to do anything more.

~

That morning he arrived at the mall five minutes late because the bus got stuck in the traffic, but he was lucky his boss didn’t find out because he was too concerned about  the reorganization of the goods on the shelves.

“Good morning Mr. Lee today you go with Mr. Choi in the mobiles section, I need you there because there is a sale on some phones and it’s gonna be hectic” the man said looking at him for a moment before turning again to the bunch of boxes he had near his feet, he needed to organize them all. Donghae nodded and went over the department he was assigned to for the day, usually he was near microwaves and small white goods for the kitchen, but Siwon needed probably help today. Such a good offer, for two couple phones, if I had a boyfriend I would probably buy them.  He furrowed  the moment he realize what those boxes meant, he was going to stay there after working hours just to put new goods on the shelves, ah so annoying.

“ Hi Siwon, are you ready?” he said waving at his colleague the moment he went behind the counter with him.

“Ah, the boss told me I was gonna work with someone, I’m lucky is you...you know how annoying is the guy from the notebooks section...” his tick eyebrows curved downwards a bit,  making him look concerned. That guy was indeed annoying, always so full of himself, like he knew everything about the devices he was selling, but then every time people found him too intrusive and mostly ended up not buying anything.

He shrugged “let’s do this Siwon!” he smiled to him before adding “ I saw all those boxes...today is gonna be a long day” they sighed together before starting to work properly, giving away smiles to every person that came near them to ask about the mobiles.

~

“Is something bothering you Hae?” Siwon asked while they were taking out some blenders of a new brand they never sell before, and Donghae stared at it for a while.

“Uh? No I was just reading where they produce this, I never saw one before...” that said he put down the box on the shelf in front of the others of the same kind “the price?”

“50,000 won” Siwon answered giving him the price tag, then he rushed to add “ I wasn’t talking about this, you were a bit strange all the day...”

Donghae looked at him, confusion in his eyes “strange? I didn’t realize it, everything is ok anyway” he smiled softly at his colleague before bending down to pick another box. The weight of all those boxes was starting to affect him, he was lucky Siwon was a strong guy, so he helped him a lot while they were moving things.

“ You were all smiles with people, but I found you sighing every time we were alone” Siwon said casually, not wanting to sound too obtrusive. Donghae shrugged, he didn’t realize of doing it at all. He started to think about it, was he really strange all the day? He thought about Hyukjae once or twice maybe, that’s why. He was still bothered by what happened, and he wasn’t sure of what he was feeling anymore. He always liked him, he was his best friends, at some point of their growing up he even had a crush on him, but not now, not anymore. They were just friends, almost brothers after so many years, they just knew everything about each other, they were always sincere and opened, he was sure they were gonna survive to this little thing too. It wasn’t a big deal anyway.

~

Once he opened the front door he understood how Dorothy of The Wizard of Oz must have felt returning home, he felt warmth invading him. He was exhausted, every muscle in his body was aching, but the smell of his home made him relax a bit. He took off his shoes quickly and walked  over the couch where Hyukjae was sitting, watching tv, he waved at him without taking off his eyes form the screen;  Donghae tossed his jacket on the floor before curling up on the couch next to him, his head on the lap of the other.

Hyukjae reached out and hand to ruffle his hair “tired? You are so late today, what happened?” his soft touch was so nice and Donghae couldn’t help but move his head towards that hand.

“The boss made us arrange new things today...so many boxes and heavy things...luckily Siwon was there to help” he muttered, his eyes closed; he reached and hand and took some chips form the bowl on the tiny tea table they had in front of the couch.

“Ah...Siwon? the guy you like?” Hyukjae giggled.

“I don’t like him...plus he has a boyfriend so stop it!” he was feeling so tired, but yet being home with his friend was  so nice; he was thankful for choosing to live with him, because returning in a empty home after so many hours of work must have been too scary and sad. There was one thing he knew, Hyukjae was always there, somehow, even when he was late, even when he was out for more than a day, he ended up returning home, to him. It was heartwarming, and  it gave him a feeling of reliability. He closed his eyes and re adjusted his position on his friend’s lap.

Hyukjae gave him a light on his forehead “You are gonna make me cook for dinner too?” he nodded, caressing that thigh lightly with his cheek. He felt the guy under him tensing. He immediately got up sitting  and looked at him blushing a bit.

“I...I’m sorry Hyukjae” he was afraid he had done something wrong, but his friend gave him another , and started to laugh, showing all his cute gummies.

“Yah! Donghae, you were always this touchy with me and I never cared...if you do something and then back off we will feel more awkward, stop it please” he said once he was able to return serious.

“I know, I just want to change my habit because I’m annoying and I know it, and then people thinks I affect you” he was a bit shy about this thing, he was always so clinging, and it was a reason he lost some friends in the past, not Hyukjae, he was always there, even when he acted annoyed by his hugs he always accepted them.

“You aren’t affecting me, what are you, a disease? I don’t want you to change Hae, it’s part of you and I like it, even when is too much, I still like it...” the last part was so fast it was almost impossible to get it, but of course Donghe heard it perfectly, he was used to his fast talk, and his stomach flipped “let’s prepare the dinner now...ah go take a shower you smell!” Hyukjae added still smiling and going over the fridge to take out something to cook.

Donghae got up and back hugged him, kissing softly his neck “I don’t smell, you smell” then he run in the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

~

So refreshing, I really needed this shower. His limbs  were starting to relax a bit under the hot water, he was really tired, but he felt happy inside, everything was fine.

The dinner was nice too, except for the fact that Hyukjae was able to burn the pancakes “it’s because I like them smoked” he said, while Donghae tried to save at least the last two, cooking them himself.

~

The followings days were normal too, they just worked and then had dinner together, watched some movies or just chatted.

But a day Hyukjae returned home with a weird expression, Donghae was already preparing for dinner, cutting some peppers on the table, his friend got closer and without saying a thing rested his chin on his shoulder. He seemed tired and sad “Hyuk, what happened?” he asked.

“I met that ...she came to my working place and made a mess...She was throwing things at me, my things...the one I left at her apartment...mostly the things she decided that had to be hers” he was still in that position, his eyes closed, his breath blowing on Donghae neck, his voice making his body shake.

“Stupid girl, did she at least gave all your things back to you?” he asked, not sure how to cheer up his friend, if not with a nice supper.

“Yeah, I brought back a box...is in front of the door. Damn I was already tired today I didn’t need her to appear. At least now I’m sure we are over and that she didn’t had another copy of the key” Hyukjae’s hands traveled on his body and reached his chest to hug him tightly “ thank you Hae for helping me get rid of that psycho” he didn’t know what to say, so he just smiled and nodded, reaching out and hand to pat the ones on his chest, hoping his friend was going to let go. Instead Hyukjae tightened the grip and nuzzled his nose on his neck, brushing his lips on him lightly. He felt like that part of the body was burning, why was it affecting him that much? It was like his body was naturally reacting to that touch, in a different way than usual. Yeah they said they were cool, but reality was that he was still feeling awkward being that close with him, he didn’t want to, but he could only think of wrong things feeling those lips on his body, he only wanted them more.

“I need to cook Hyuk, you are blocking me...go and sit on the couch and wait for the dinner to be ready” he said, his voice luckily  enough didn’t betray him, he sounded perfectly normal, and his friend was too tired to even notice that he was blushing furiously.

Once the table was set they started to eat, he looked at his friend face, he was tired as always, lately he always looked tired, he even had dark circles, and he always went to bed a bit earlier than usual. He reached out and hand and touched his forehead, Hyukjae looked at him with a questioning look “come closer a bit” he ordered, sounding like a mum more than a friend, and just like a mum he brushed his lips on his friends forehead “you have a fever!” Donghae said backing off quickly and looking at him with a concerned look.

Hyukjae looked at him with shy smile on his lips, he always found that way of measuring fever a bit embarrassing, and Donghae knew it, but still he always did it like that “I’m just tired..I haven’t slept well lately and today was just the straw that broke the camel’s back” he turned to look at his plate and finished the food in it “all done mum now can I go to bed?” he said smiling brightly, his gummies flashing out making him look totally like a child.

“yes you can...don’t call me mum, but let me take you to your room and bring some water, you need some medicine and lot’s of blankets” Hyukjae nodded and grabbed both of their plates to put them in the sink; then  followed Donghae in his room.

~

He was helped to put on his manly pajama with little clouds on it, and finally he sat on his bed. Donghae caressed his neck to see if the fever was getting higher, it was apparently, because Hyukjae was hotter “you have to take the medicine Hyuk” he said going over the desk to pour a glass of the water he brought with him in the room.

“Why? I’m too hot? I was always this hot Hae” he was giggling, his jokes, oh they were always not funny at all.

“there you go, drink this and stop being silly” once the medicine was taken finally he managed to put his dear monkey under the blankets, and sat near him “Yah, why did you fatigued yourself this much? If you weren’t feeling good, or couldn’t sleep you should have taken a day off” he said trying to scold him.

“It was just lack of sleep nothing much Hae, don’t worry...” he muttered covering his face a bit with the blankets.

“Why weren’t you sleeping? Why didn’t you tell me?” he was caressing those soft hair lightly, they were just so nice to touch, so he just couldn’t resist; plus being there to keep him company and take care of him till he would fall asleep, was such a great excuse for some of his display of affection.

Hyukjae kept being quiet for a bit before uncovering his face and whisper “Can I be totally honest with you?”

Donghae nodded.

~