Olivia Ong - Driving

“I kept looking at your hands, your damn pretty fingers, hoping to hold it on. I'm 20, but you still can catch me blushing just because of this, the thought of holding your hands. And I have no gut to tell you about. Bloody hell. Shame on me”

Sulli rolled from the couch to the carpeted floor. She had just finished 4 books of Sooyoung’s diary in the middle of junior high school and early university time. Sulli should admit that she fell also with this Shim Changmin guy, during her time reading Sooyoung’s diary. She got the idea of Sooyoung liking this guy, even though he seemed like an ignorant type of person. Sulli noticed that actually Sooyoung liked him already in junior high school, but she just realized it later on in her senior year; she felt like reading a script of a TV series, Sulli couldn’t stop reading Sooyoung’s diaries.

“What are you doing?” Seunghyun asked as he walked to the living room where Sulli laying lazily on the floor, supporting her head with the soft pillow. He’s just comeback from the office and felt really tired over it. Seunghyun sat on the chair near the fridge, sipping his cold cola.

“Just reading some interesting things…” she replied as she continued flipping the pages of the diary. Sulli suddenly looked at Seunghyun who was still drinking. “Oppa, do you happen to know a guy named Shim Changmin?”

Seunghyun stopped drinking, looking curiously at Sulli. “Shim who?”

“Shim Changmin” Sully repeated. “Have you ever heard his name?”

Seunghyun chuckled. ”Sure. She talked about him a lot. He’s literally being everywhere Sooyoung was… Quite a nice guy, I used to hang out with him also. Why you suddenly asked about him?”

Sulli immediately shook her head; Seunghyun couldn’t know what she had on her mind.

“Nope, just asking… So is he a good friend of unnie?”

“He’s her partner in crime, they’re flocking together… I wonder how Kris was not feeling jealous towards him” Seunghyun stopped for a small smirk.

“Oh, so they hung out together often then?” Sulli summarized Seunghyun’s explanation.

“A lot”

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“Choi Sooyoung… Oi, Choi Sooyoung. Where are you?”

Sooyoung closed her eyes and groaned as she heard the voice of Changmin calling her on Skype. She turned her head to the screen and found Changmin was there, waving his hands with his goofy face.

“What?” she asked.

“What are you doing?”

Sooyoung waved the comb and hair roller in front of the screen. “I’m doing a tutorial to make my hair wavy. What’s up?” she said as she opened , trying to rolled her hair. Changmin laughed sheepishly.

“Take me out… I’m bored” he said, rolled on his bed and took a cup of hot ramyeon on the nightstand, started to eat it.

“Pfftttt…” she commented. “You’ve just been discharged from the hospital; take some more time for rest…”

Two weeks ago, Changmin and Kyuhyun, his best friend since high school, were involved in an accident. The car that they used were suddenly being hit from the side, thankfully everyone’s safe, including Kyuhyun’s driver. But still, all of them had to be hospitalized. Changmin was lucky; he’s only got several cut and bruises on his head and hands. His legs were swollen, but it’s already recovered by now.

“A week is enough to strand me in this room” he ranted.

After he’s discharged from the hospital, Changmin need to stay in his room. He’s not allowed to take a walk too much. And for the past week, all he did was eating, playing games, reading, browsing on the internet, and chatting with Sooyoung via Skype. He’s happy though, most of the time, Sooyoung was always available to accompany him talking. Sometimes, he’s still awake when she’s already asleep on the bed, leaving him all alone on the chat. Or it’s Sooyoung who found Changmin drooled in front of his laptop.

“Take me out” he said again before slurping the ramyeon. Sooyoung took the chance capturing Changmin’s ugly face while eating the ramyeon. She laughed really hard, making Changmin looked curiously at her.

“Whadaryoudoin?” he asked with mouth filled with the noodles.

“Taking a picture of your stupid face, Shim” Sooyoung said as she edit the picture, save it, and send it to Changmin.

“YAAA!” Changmin responded once he saw his picture. He was slurping the ramyeon, messy hair, tired eyes, and swollen lips; Sooyoung happily laughed on it.

“I got your As spade, so you better be nice to me. Or else, I’ll publish this picture online” she smirked devilishly.

“Crazy witch” he replied, pouted his lips. “Anyway, whatever my face looked like, girls will still attract to me. So, just do whatever you want with that picture” he ignorantly said.

Sooyoung let her tongue out and then rolled her hair again, attempting to create a nice wave on her long brown hair. She’s into hair styling and makeup lately, making herself looking more attractive each day. People say it was a rebound makeup; the makeup which was done after the breakup. But she didn’t think so; she’s just…more like to take care of her appearance.

After two years of dating, Sooyoung and Kris finally had their break up. Kris was moving to China to continue his study there as the class he’s taking required a project for a year in a company so he had to look for a great company to learn, while Sooyoung stayed in Seoul. They decided to break up, because both don’t think that they can do the long distance relationship. It was kind of hard at first, because Sooyoung was not keen of the fact that she would not be able to see Kris around anymore. Kris was always stayed around her, not always every day, but most of the time.

The first two months of the break up, they still act like a couple. Kris would still call her, just to say that he missed her and she would just listen to him, talking to him about her day. But after that, they basically stopped communicating. Sooyoung was too busy with her task and Kris was away in another country, drown to his project. Still, the two of them kept feeling for each other.

“Oi Choi Sooyoung” he called again after done eating his ramyeon.

“Hmm…” Sooyoung mumbled incoherently as she concentrated on her hair.

“Date with me today”

Sooyoung stopped whatever she’s doing and slowly looked at her laptop screen, where she found Changmin looked at her seriously. She gulped and felt like there’s a cold sweat forming on her back. She tried to find her voice, but it’s just hard. She knew that she (finally) could calm down her feeling towards Changmin, but him being like this... Sooyoung was not even sure what feeling she had for him currently…

“Wh-“

“Yay, I’ve just captured your silly face!” Changmin suddenly said as he happily showed Sooyoung her surprised face. He took her picture while she’s having slightly apart, looking confused with her hair half tied. “Be ready at 12 in front of your home, I’ll pick you up. See you! Or else, this picture will go online” he said as he waved at her and logged off from Skype.

Sooyoung sighed and took a deep breath. She should know this. Changmin would never be serious with her; she shouldn’t dream over him being all serious and ridiculous with her. It wouldn’t happen, not with Shim Changmin.

“Wake up, Choi Sooyoung…” she softly knocked her forehead.

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Sooyoung walked outside her home and found that Changmin’s already standing in front of his car, waiting for her. She felt her heart beats a little faster as she saw him. He laid his back to the car, bending his upper body a bit. His long legs were covered with a jeans and a pair of boots, matched with his navy blue knitted sweater and crème shawl. His hair was a bit short now, clean cut. His mismatched eyes found her and he immediately crossed his arms once he spotted her walking towards him.

“You’re 15 minutes late” he complained, looking at her with his pouty lips.

“It’s normal for a guy waiting for the girl he asked for a date. Girls have to be late in front of the guys” she replied as she appointed to the car door. “Open it” she commanded him.

He chuckled but still opening the door for her. “What a princess…”

“I’m a princess, according to my parent” she replied as she let her tongue out. Changmin smirked, letting her got in the car before walking to his seat. When they’re ready after using the seat belt, the car went through the road, heading out the neighborhood.

It’s a warm spring, Sooyoung noted. She’s on the car with Changmin, who’s humming along the jazzy tunes played on his car. He sometimes tapped his fingers on the stir, or nodded following the music. And Sooyoung would just watch him in amused, secretly.

“What do you want to do today?” he asked, turning his head to her. Sooyoung was not ready with his sudden movement, so in order to avoid his gaze; she quickly moved her head which resulted with a knock on her cheek. “Aww… that must be hurt” he commented.

Sooyoung sighed, realizing her stupid movement. For the sake of not letting Shim Changmin knew that she was watching him, she made such a big effort.

“You okay?” he asked softly.

“Yeah, I was just…felt that there’s an ant walking on my neck” Sooyoung said as she touch the back of her neck.

Lame excuse, Choi Sooyoung!

“Let’s just watch Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows, the second part. We haven’t checked it since its premier, right?” Sooyoung suggested. Changmin nodded in agreement.

“Ok, settled”

Changmin drove the car to the K cinema the place where most youth went for movie. Sooyoung was just realized that they chose the wrong day to visit K cinema, because it’s filled with their friends: high school friends, college friends, and even the neighbors. She seemed to likely meet anyone she knew and somehow people thought that Sooyoung was finally becoming Changmin’s, especially with the fact that she’s single and Changmin was taking a break from his playboy life.. She felt not comfortable with people casually asking “Ah so you’re with Changmin now?”, but Changmin was more comfortable and calm about it.

“It wasn’t like people thought that I was your giant boyfriend” he commented as he ate the popcorn on Sooyoung’s hand. “You just have to be calmer. It’s normal that people think that you’re dating me, because… I’m handsome and a girl like you had a possibility to fall for me. But people won’t think that I’m the one who fall for you, because you’re…” Changmin stopped talking and somehow looking at Sooyoung’s chest, which made Sooyoung glared at him while covered her chest area.

“ert” Sooyoung hissed as she pouted.

“Me? erting on you? Please, I don’t even know which one is your front or back… Because, both were just the same, flat” Changmin said as he brushed his own chest, earning another smack from Sooyoung.

They had enjoyed the movie though, despite the joke that Changmin kept saying about Sooyoung. He couldn’t stop mock Sooyoung who’s crying because it’s the last movie of Harry Potter. Well, Changmin was sad too though, because he loved the book and the character. It was also the book which made them getting closer during junior high school. Sooyoung and Changmin were really into Harry Potter. Don’t mention Harry Potter in front of them or you’ll have to stay for more than an hour to listen to their favorite part of the book and their theory on why people should never compare the Potter series on the book and the one produced in wide screen. Sooyoung and Changmin were just hardcore fans.

When they were about to leave the cinema after watching the movie, Sooyoung suddenly remembered that it was located near their junior high school. After a few arguments, finally both decided to visit their school, by foot and not with car like Changmin suggested.

“What’s the point coming to the school on foot while you can get it on car?” Changmin protested when they’re walking to the school.

“It’s the memory, Changmin. Don’t you remember that we used to walk to school?” Sooyoung replied as she happily walking.

“Yeah, but we walked after we took the bus… Remember?”

“Don’t be such a baby” Sooyoung .

Not too long after the walk, they arrived in their junior high school. Sooyoung kept saying that the school was not changing, while Changmin just commented “Whatever”. He didn’t know why he didn’t just sit somewhere waiting for Sooyoung to end her mini tour in the school instead of following her around.

Changmin was walking behind Sooyoung, following her observing the classes in the alley. He started looking around, remembering the days of his youth. He’s a playful kid with lots of friends; Sooyoung was a famous student also. Seemed like times flew so fast, he’s now in his last year of university while Sooyoung was in the third year. He’ll soon be graduated and started the working life, just like what people normally do.  

“Oh, it’s still here!” Sooyoung exclaimed and happily giggled at the corner of the alley. “It’s the desk for the break time. We usually sat here and you’ll bring me the banana milk…” she recalled, smiling to herself. “It’s been quite a long time…” she said as she sat on the desk, it’s not fit for two people anymore.

“You’re getting fatter” he commented as he started walking out from the school building. Sooyoung rolled her eyes, but still following Changmin. They went to the field where the students usually take their PE class. Sooyoung suddenly ran passed Changmin; she took a stone and playfully threw it to the air before she caught it again. Changmin was watching her, guessing what she’s trying to do while he’s sitting on the bench in the field.

“Do you remember this game?” Sooyoung asked as she bend her upper body, put her right hand on the ground with the stone on her hand while her left hand was put crossing her chest, holding her right ear.

Changmin remembered the game though; they used to play it a lot in school. Once you put your hand on the ground, you started to spin around for 10 or 15 times and after that walked to a certain direction to get the things requested by the rest who watched the game.

“You’ll get dizzy, Sooyoung” he reminded her as he cross his arms, watching her.

“But it’s fun…” Sooyoung replied as she started spinning slowly.

Sooyoung was wearing a black long dress, with a sling bag. Her gladiator flat matched well with the dress, making her looked so stunning even though she’s just using a plain dress without any accessories. Changmin had noticed that she looked great on that dress; he put a note on that.

“…seven… eight… nine… ten!” Sooyoung stopped spinning and started to walk. And just like what Changmin had predicted she got dizzy, losing her sense of direction and almost lost her balance.

Just a second before Sooyoung collapsed to the ground due to her dizzy head; Changmin quickly stood up and hold her. “Close your eyes” he said as he grabbed her hand and her waist. She immediately followed, closing her eyes while facing Changmin. She giggled for several times, because of the dizzy feeling she had.

Sooyoung had no idea on how Changmin was standing really close in front of her, watching her closing her eyes while laughing. He just realized that he’s practically hugging her and with their nose met, but he bet she didn’t realize as she was still feeling dizzy and giggling here and there. She’s so tiny; he put a mental note on that. His left hand could round her waist fully. He felt a bit uneasy though; it’s the first time he stood really close to her. Still closing her eyes, Sooyoung slowly moved her free hand to Changmin’s shoulder, holding on to it to get support.

“Can I open my eyes now?” she asked him.

“Open it slowly” he told her, watching her. She nodded and slowly opening her eyes, she closed it again before fully opened it, still feeling dizzy. On her second attempts, Sooyoung finally opened her eyes and much to her surprise, she found Changmin was looking at her.

Sooyoung didn’t know which one was making her felt more dizzy, the spin that she did or the gaze Changmin gave her once she opened her eyes. She swore for seconds, she didn’t recognize his look on her. He’s looking deeply at her and she knew she should stop looking at him, but somehow Sooyoung couldn’t escape his gaze. She looked back at his eyes with a longing stare. Once, Changmin lost his grip on her waist and Sooyoung realized that they’re standing closely too long.

Both took a step away from each other. While Sooyoung pretending that she’s cleaning her dress, Changmin cleared his throat and suddenly had an urge to check on his phone; just to reduce the awkwardness. Not too long after that both of them walking back to the parking lot in the cinema. They need to take a 20 minutes walking before reaching the K cinema again. The trip back was more silent compared to the first one, maybe because they’re still feeling awkward due to the sudden contact earlier.

When they’re walking, Sooyoung noticed that their hand was sometimes hit on each other. It felt kind of weird because every time her hands met Changmin’s, she felt a jolt of electricity running on her body. She tried to ignore it by keeping her hand away from Changmin’s side, but sometimes, it’s his left hand that came in contact with her right hand.

“Are you still feeling dizzy?” he asked her.

“Slightly, but it’s fine” she replied, smiling awkwardly. She bit her lower lips; it’s been awkward since the thing happened in the school field.

He nodded and continued walking; they still need to cross one more intersection before arriving at the cinema. Sooyoung had her eyes set on Changmin’s hand though. Those pretty fingers she dreamed of holding on. They never hold hand though, because it’s not possible. She blushed from the thought of walking while holding his hand. She wanted to know how it feels to touch his hand, being wrapped on his large hand. Would it feel soft? Or rough? She got herself embarrassed for thinking like that, but she ignored it. She couldn’t help but enjoying the movement his hand made.

And just like reading her mind, Changmin’s left hand suddenly grabbed her right hand and wrapped it. Sooyoung’s eyes grew bigger and she couldn’t hide her surprise look on what Changmin did. The touch of his hand felt soft when it’s colliding with her hand, softly rubbing it. His hand felt warm, she noticed. She didn’t dare to hold him back, so she let him hold her hand effortlessly and enjoyed the moment their skins touching each other.

Sooyoung felt something was lost when Changmin moved his hand from hers. Without her noticing, they already arrived at the lobby of K cinema.

“I thought you’re still dizzy so I help you to pass the road” he said calmly. “Just wait here, I’ll take the car. Ok?”

Sooyoung slowly nodded and saw the back of Changmin. She chuckled and again, laughed to herself. She really should stop thinking any possibility between her and Changmin. He’ll be forever friend for her and it’d be better if nothing happened, or else things would be fall apart.

Sometimes, Sooyoung was just hoping that her feeling for Changmin would never come back. When she’s with Kris, she’s totally fall head over heels over him, forgetting that she previously like Changmin. But now that they spent time together again, she felt that the feeling was back. And she’s not ready for that.

Sooyoung sighed. She put her hands in front of her face and moved it in a circular motion, she slowly whispered.

“Obliviate*”

She really hoped that magic does exist.

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*Obliviate: the spell on Harry Potter’s books. It’s used to erase some memory from a particular event. 

Chapter 4. 

I myself felt giddy upon the hugging feeling. I don't know what Shim Changmin had done on me. 

Enjoy :)