I stared up into the sky. What day is it from the last time I saw you now? Day seven hundred and sixty? Maybe I should count in years, two years and a month is more exact. Dongwoon oppa, where are you? I’ve been waiting for you… I can’t see you anywhere oppa. Have you decided to leave me on my own for sure? I didn’t want you to go in the first place… I wanted you to stay with me, right here next to me and never leaving.

Oppa, I remember when we used to be in each other’s arms during the nights and you had your arms tightly secure around me. Oppa, to be honest, I miss you so much. You’ve been in Korea for such a long time, when are going to come back to my arms here in America? I’ve been waiting for you to come back to me for such a long time. I’m not complaining… but you said so yourself, “Wait for me until I come back. When I do, the first thing I’ll do is come over to your house and hug you… arraso?” Where are you now oppa?

It’s been another three weeks. He still hasn’t called me, I’m wondering… what is going on? He promised me that he would never ignore me. I tried e-mailing him, but I always got a response saying, ‘I’m sorry, e-mail couldn’t be sent. The ID doesn’t seem to match any of our files. Please try again, or check that you have spelled the email address correctly.’ No matter what, Dongwoon’s email was certainly correct, I’m sure of it.

Oh well, if that’s how he wants to play, then so be it! I shall continue waiting for him though, he might be too busy to contact me, I know, he went to Korea to help manage his father’s business and get some training done. That’s what he told me he was going there for. So, I believed him. My friends kept texting me, telling me about parties that they wanted me to join, but no matter what, I couldn’t bring myself to go.

One day however, I got a call. It was from Dongwoon! I couldn’t believe it! Dongwoon himself was calling me!

“Hello oppa! How are you? Do you know how much I’ve missed you? Oppa, hello? Hello?” I think I was too hyper that he hung up. Aish, nice going Chen. Nice going! I thought to myself. But no, apparently he hadn’t hung up.

“Hey Chen, how’s it going? Yeah, oppa’s missed you too.” In the background I heard ‘hyung we’re going out now, wanna come with?’

“Oops, I shouldn’t be standing between you and your friends, go ahead. Call me later when you can.” I answered, understanding that he had friends to attend to.

“No, that can wait. Look, Cindy, there’s been something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

Woah, he called me by my first name, that’s not a good start! “What is it oppa? Why? Is it serious?”

“Yeah. It’s about us. I know, I told you to wait for me and that I came to Korea to manage my father’s business, but that’s not the case. I don’t think this long-distance relationship is going to work. I know you’re in pain for not having seen me, I am too. And, to release ourselves from this pain, I think we’re going to have to end it… Plus, I’m actually in a Kpop band now. We’re called BEAST. I wasn’t actually here to manage any company. Rather to join the Music Industry.”

“Bwoh? Oppa… you... y-you said that we’d be together forever. We were planning to have a happy ever after! What?! I don’t understand you oppa. I understand the becoming an Idol, and I congratulate you on your success, but break…breaking up with me? I don’t get it. Don’t you love me?”

“I do. This is why I’m breaking up with you.”

“But oppa, you know I’d wait forever and a day for you. I don’t mine. I love you oppa, please… don’t do this to me.” I was tearing up now. Dongwoon can’t be serious about this now can he? I mean, he loves me. And if you love someone, you wouldn’t make them hurt would they? I’ve tried my best throughout our relationship to not make him feel hurt.

“I’ve always been thinking of you Cindy. Always. However, because of my constant thinking, I can’t do anything. I’m too heavily in love with you. I can’t do anything about it. You might probably be my only love. I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’ll ever have you in my arms again. These two years apart have been like torture for me, I think you too went through the same pain. But it’s because of this pain that I want us to part. Please, think of yourself for once, and don’t cause pain for yourself and for me. Please…”

To hear him pleading like that… it broke my heart. I ended up bawling. I tried to stand up, since apparently I had been kneeling down and clutching the phone to my ear. I didn’t want to hear it. I’d prefer waiting day and night knowing nothing, rather than knowing about how Dongwoon was in pain and wanted to end things off with me. “Arraso oppa. But please, could you call once in a while? I’m still very much in love with you, and if we can’t be together, I’d rather just be your friend.” Every word stabbed me like a knife through the heart. It was pain to say this, but it was what made Dongwoon happy.

I heard him sigh through the other line, “of course. I’m still in love with you, I’d call even if I wasn’t. Thanks for understanding Chen. Love you…” And the line went dead.

Hmm, Chen. So things weren’t serious anymore. I put my phone down and cried. The love of my life… he just wanted quits. Because of the pain. I wished for him to stay, and this is what happened. He walked out on me. Though, he’s far away, I swear whatever I have in my heart for Dongwoon is too much. I love him so so much, forgetting him won’t be easy.

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“Chen, your hair smells so nice.” Dongwoon whispered. I blushed as I felt his face go deep into the crook of my neck, and kissing my cheek. I looked into his eyes and smiled. Oppa, I never thought I would’ve been able to touch you like this ever again. “Oppa, saranghae.” “I love you too Chen. I always will and always have…” I was about to lean in and give him a kiss on the lips when-

**BEEP BEEP** **BEEP BEEP** **BEEP BEEP**

Eugh, stupid alarm clock. So, it was just a dream? How stupid am I to have believed that I was back in his arms? Dongwoon…. Ahh, I miss you so much. I wish I could go back to the dream and have myself in your arms again, but once I’m awake, I find it really difficult to go back to sleep. Must be a habit I guess…

I stood up after stretching and went to my bathroom to wash up. When I looked into the mirror, I saw that my eyes were red from the crying. Oh, stupid stupid tear stains. Go away! I don’t want you anymore! I have to try to move on! After washing, I got dressed for work. I work at a photography center. Where we get clients from all over the country, from weddings to newspaper paparazzi fill-ins to model shoots. We’re usually really busy. But when I came in for work… it looked almost… calm. No one was panicking and running about the building. This was unusual.

Sitting on my desk, I saw a letter. Curiously, I opened it.

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Dear Cindy,

I’m happy that you understand it. I sent this using first class, so I’m hoping it’s sent the day after I’ve posted it. Please, look for someone new. I’m old history now. I don’t deserve to have you waiting for me. I ditched you for a music career. I’m not worthy to have someone waiting for me. Of course, I still love you. Please, Cindy... I don’t want you to be waiting for me. It would be an empty love. Please… move on. I’m already on my way to moving on. There’s someone here who I’m starting to fancy.

Hope you will find someone too soon!

Dongwoon oppa

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I teared up but wiped my tears away before my colleagues could ask me questions. Oh oppa! I can’t ever forget you either. You were my first love. I thank you for not losing you love in me. I had thought you lost it, but no. The letter opposes my thoughts. What we had was strong, and I hope that you too will find another that you can love. Love better than me, fight for her better than me. No matter what though, I’ll always be waiting, waiting forever and a day – if I have to. Just for you.

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I did this last night at 3am. It's eeek in some places, so sorry for that ^^. Hope you enjoyed though...