I sat on my bed, cuddled up in my blanket my. It was dark, I could barely see a thing but the occasional flash of thunder would light my room showing the many pictures we shared together. I pulled my knees up against my chest as I softly leaned against my backboard. I shut my eyes as I listened to the sharp needles of water rebound off of my window. I let out a small sigh, a small cloud of steam formed as my hot breath clashed with the cold air. It was freezing in my apartment, on a night like this couples would spend together on the couch snuggled up watching movies and eating popcorn, unfortunately my other half had been robbed from me. Taking right out of my hands, by the person I would have least suspected.

“Hey you” A long arm wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me into a head lock, I gripped onto his arm trying to loosen the grip around my neck, which obviously failed with my weak and lanky arms. I could hear a soft ‘booming’ sound in his chest as he chuckled; he put his hand in a fist and rubbed his hand hard against my head, turning my hair into a birds nest. “Stop I can’t breathe” I groaned as his grip became tighter, I tried remove his arm but again I failed. I felt my throat closing in as air became harder to find, I was in need of oxygen and the idiot I was continued to laugh as if it was all in the game.

“Woah she’s turning bright red” I looked up and saw Chanyeol pointing at me, his eyes wide as they usually were. I closed my eyes hoping I wouldn’t pass out soon but at that moment his arm slid out of my grip and back to his side, I fell to my knees losing my balance as I gasped for air. “Come on, it’s your turn to buy drinks this time” Kris patted my back hard as he pulled his one strap over his head and headed off with Chanyeol and Eunjee. I took in a few deep breathes then got to my feet, I straightened out my uniform and fixed my hair using my phone lenses as a mirror. “But I always pay” I muttered under my breath, “Come on, hurry” They all stopped and turned around staring at me as if something was different, Chanyeol clapped his hands together. I closed my eyes and exhaled then placed my bag onto my back and slowly caught up to them. “Man what’s up with you today” Eunjee squeezed my arm softly and gave me a sincere look as if saying ‘do you want to talk about it’ I shook my head and then faced forward “Oh~ they are talking with their eyes” Chanyeol said to Kris intensely staring at him, Kris put out his hand and pushed Chanyeol’s head away.

‘Bzzzz. Bzzzz’ my phone flashed as someone called me; I leaned over and examined the contact. “Kris” I whispered his name to myself, my heart pounded against my chest, was it fury? Was it lust? I was so confused, I waited for the call to end before I picked up my phone, one last vibrate came through and message popped up, he had left a voice message. I clicked on the link and listened to the dial tone, “To listen to your message press—beep” I tapped the screen and then pressed the phone against my ear again. “1 new message, received at 2:23am. First message—“I took in a deep breath preparing myself for what he had to say. “Jiyeun, it’s—it’s me Kris, look I know you probably hate us right now but there is nothing that you can change, love is love and well—“ he paused, I could hear the rain in the background…and peoples murmurs. “—please just pick up your phone, we need to talk. Bye.” And at that he ended the call, I hung up and placed my phone back onto my bed side table. I stared blankly at the end of my bed, a flash of thunder lit up my room once again, but this time it was almost as if it was in slow mode. I noticed my small trashcan I kept underneath my desk pilled with ripped up papers and photos. I looked at my walls they were covered with photos of us minus the small patches where I had removed certain pictures. I looked down at my floor near the trashcan where photos were scattered along with a lighter and a small bowl of water.

“This would have to be one of the cutest photos yet” Eunjee giggled her arm still wrapped around Kris’ waist. “Look at you two, you look like a perfect couple” Eunjee pointed out, Kris looked at me with intense eyes, he half-heartedly smiled then looked at Chanyeol and chuckled giving him a sarcastic wink “You should make it official” he raised his eyebrows as if he was waiting for Chanyeol to ask me out. “Ha-ha real funny” Chanyeol rolled his eyes and removed his arm from my shoulders, Kris kept his position with Eunjee and looked down at me “Aw, you look disappointed” he tapped my cheek twice and then walked off with the others, again leaving me to catch up. I examined the picture and we all looked like a happy bunch of friends and that is exactly what we were, I stuffed the camera into my bag and then ran after the others joining the end of the line next to Kris.

My phone began ringing again but this time it was Eunjee calling, I decided to answer the call. I put it on speaker and placed the phone in the middle of my bed, “Jiyeun. Jiyeun are you there?” I could hear the worry in her voice but I remained silent, “Where are you, we went to check your apartment but the guy down stairs said you hadn’t returned home yet—“ I nodded pleasingly glad he kept his promise, I purposely told him to say I wasn’t in if they came looking for me. “Please answer me” Eunjee’s voice was shaky and it made a lump form in my throat, I hated to see or hear her about to cry, but I had to stay strong. She let out a faint sob and I could hear her cover embarrassed from her wailing.

“Why are you holding back, don’t be embarrassed” I Eunjee’s back softly comforting her in her time of need. She shook her head, her hand still clamped over while her index finger and thumb held onto her nose. “Why are you so embarrassed about crying” I asked becoming very curious, I had never seen her cry because every time she would start she would run off and hide. Eunjee began to inhale then exhale, like we practiced in health. She finally got herself together a few tears till streaming down her cheeks “I’m embarrassed of my cry not of crying” she said stuttered, “Why” she bit her lip and to stop herself from crying but it didn’t help. Her cries were very unique, she would make a weird throaty sound when she breathed in kind of like a giant hiccup, but it sounded more like a donkey call, she would also snort and well I now knew what she sounded like and why she would always ran away when she cried.

I heard the phone being passed to someone else, someone I didn’t expect to hear. “Look Jiyeun, I’m sorry we didn’t tell you, and I’m sorry you had to find out this way but…we just knew you wouldn’t be able to handle it. But you can’t just blame Kris and Eunjee, it was my fault too.” My body was stiff as I heard his voice echo through my room, his voice rumbled almost like thunder. I bit my lip hard trying not to make a sound but it was hard, my heart was going to burst and it didn’t help that they were together at this point in time. “Please Jiyeun, please just talk to us. Tell us how much you hate our guts, just say something” I picked up my phone, my thumb hovering over the end button, tears began falling down my face one after the other, “Please” he whispered, my heart throbbed, it hurt too much to hear my friends like this. “Please Jiyeun” Chanyeol cried. “I’m sorry” I whispered pushing the end button, my phone slipped out of my hands as they trembled, I couldn’t take it anymore, I felt like I had reached the end of the road and there, in front of me stood a dead end. I felt like I was isolated from them, like I had no one but myself. I felt like this could be the end, the end of humanity, the end of love, the end of…me. But of course I was over reacting- or was I?

“What!” Eunjee screamed in shock as I confessed my love, “But of all people you fall for –“I quickly covered before anyone heard our conversation. “Shh” the librarian warned for what felt like the fiftieth time. “Please don’t tell him, it would be so embarrassing” I bit on my lip per usual – it was my little habit, I would bite on my lip when I felt nervous. “So what made you fall for him” Eunjee leaned forward resting her chin onto her palms, “Well he is tall, good looking and has an attractively deep voice what else could I like” I shrugged a cheesy grin appearing on both our faces. “Kris, hey I didn’t see you there” Eunjee awkwardly sat up straight gesturing Kris to sit on the seat next to me. “What were you two talking about” you could tell he only asked to be polite but his expression said that he had no interest. “Nothing” I said before Eunjee could open . “Hmm” Kris hummed while rolling up a small piece of paper and unrolling it again. “Hey you, happy birthday” Chanyeol wrapped his arms around my shoulders and rubbed his cheek against mine, I looked at Eunjee who just stared at us with a blank expression, as did Kris. “I have a surprise for you” Chanyeol whispered softly into my ear, his hot breath giving me goose bumps. I looked at Eunjee again she seemed normal again but it was Kris this time who seemed odd, he had lost the colour in his face and had become really pale. “Are you okay” I placed my hand upon in cheek checking if he had some sort of temperature. Chanyeol removed his arms from around me and stood behind my chair. I moved closer to Kris examining his expression closely, he wouldn’t take his eyes off of Chanyeol. This was the closest I had ever been to Kris’ face before, it was weird. Every little detail about him seemed…perfect. From his perfectly profound lips to his shard jaw line to his button nose, everything seemed perfectly in proportion. “I need some fresh air” Kris muttered before abruptly getting out of his chair, I stumbled back but Chanyeol placed his hand on my back before I could fall any further, “I’ll go with him” Eunjee grabbed her bag and ran out after Kris. I looked up at Chanyeol who glared at the door swinging shut, his hand clenched tightly on the back of my chair that his knuckles started to turn white. I softly placed my hand on top of his, he snapped out of his thoughts and looked down at me sincerely, and there was a long intense silence before he broke it with a grin. “Let’s go get your surprise” I got up and he dragged me towards the other exit of the Library, I looked back at the door Kris and Eunjee and barged out of, I wondered if he was alright.

I ran myself a hot bath; I tied my hair in a messy bun and let my body relax. I shut my eyes and just laid there, the silence felt well, with only the raining pitter pattering against the windows I felt as if I was laying on a cloud –a hot cloud. I heard my phone going off in my room but I had no care in answering their calls anymore, I was over it, over them.

Eunjee’s Point Of View:

“She’s never going to pick up” I slammed my phone onto the table earning a few stares from some of the customers, Kris and Chanyeol stayed silent they weren’t used to seeing me, the hyper active friend, sad. “Let’s give her some time” Kris took my phone and placed it at the end of the table away from my easy reach, Chanyeol sat opposite whereas Kris sat at the end of the table away from the both of us. He called for a waiter and ordered some green tea to calm our nerves and stress.

“I’ll go with him” I grabbed my bag and ran out after Kris. I got outside and he was already gone, ‘curse those long legs of yours’ I thought to myself, I looked down the campus and saw his golden hair up ahead, I gripped onto my bag strap and began running after him. “Hey wait up” I yelled, I finally caught up to him as he slowed his pace. I stopped and caught my breath before walking with him. “Why did you storm out like that” It was kind of a stupid question, I knew exactly why he walked out. “Did you see the way he was around her, the way he hugged her right in front of me” Kris stopped and stared down at me with an intense glare. “Why do you care so much that he hugged her” Kris exhaled loudly, “I don’t want him to fall for her” he finally said. I stood there frozen, was what I was hearing real? Kris liked Jiyeun.

“You know this is more your fault then any of ours right” Chanyeol snapped at Kris who gave him a dirty glare, “Let’s not play the blame game because this is just as much your fault than mine. Some best friend you are” Kris scoffed while sipping his tea. I began rubbing my temples in frustration, if I had to stay with these two any longer I was going to shoot myself. “Oh well at least I didn’t lead her on and then break her heart” Chanyeol scolded Kris, “It is both your faults, you both played with her heart and now look what has happened so can you just both be quiet” I had snapped. Jiyeun had never ignored me, we were always open with each other and now all these secrets have ruined everything. “You know you had a big part in all of this too” Kris added, I opened my eyes and looked up. “Excuse me” I knew what he was going to say next, I knew what my part was in this mess but I wasn’t the problem. “You know, you have some nerve trying to blame this on me. If it weren’t for your lips and your secrets none of this would have happened.” Kris’ face went blank. I looked at Chanyeol who was trying to avoid eye contact. “It’s been a while, I’m going to her apartment, I’ll call you when I’m there” I got out of the booth and grabbed my bags, “wait” Kris grabbed my wrist causing me to stumble back a few steps, “We’re coming with you.”

Jiyeun’s Point Of View:

“Dammit” I wrapped my foot in a towel and sat on my bed in only my robe, I looked into the bathroom and saw my blood trail, who knew one slice of the foot could draw so much blood in such little time. I put pressure on the cut while holding the phone to my ear, I called my assistant.

‘Hello’

“Jaehoon, I need you to come get me, I’ve hurt my foot and I need to go to the hospital” I removed the towel to see if the blood had stopped, but seeming my weakness was the sight of blood I couldn’t get myself to look.

‘What did you do? Ugh, fine I’m coming now.’ He hung up the phone and I packed my wallet into my small side bag. I saw some pain killers on my side table and reached for the bottle. I got hold of it and managed to get myself one pill, but as I went to put it back I got a sharp pain through my leg causing me to drop the pills all over my bed and floor. I bent down to pick them up. “What are you doing” Jaehoon came in with a wheelchair to make it easier for me to get down stairs to the car. “Forget those, let’s get your foot fixed first” he helped me into the chair and got out my green jacket so I wouldn’t get soaked by the heavy rain.

“How bad is it” he yelled as we all gripped onto his leg, no one was willingly enough to check. “Ah .” Chanyeol cursed, “Move your hands” Kris said pushing me back causing me to fall flat on my . “You need stitches” Kris said, I looked at my hands and felt slightly faint seeing Chanyeol’s blood all over them, I looked at his leg and gagged at the sight of his bone sticking out the side. “Jiyeun are you—“everything went blank and it was silent. I had just fainted.

“Well Miss—““Jiyeun, my name is Jiyeun” the doctor nodded and wrote it down on his clip board, “Well Jiyeun we have stitched up your foot and you should be fine, we have given you a prescription and your foot should heal fast over the next week or two” I thanked the doctor and put on my shoes that Jaehoon had brought for me. “There is one other thing we need to tell you though” I examined the doctor and his expression seemed serious and almost sorry. “What is it” I asked thinking it was just that I need to come back for a check-up later, “Well we were looking through your files and we saw you hadn’t had a check-up for a long time so we done that also today” I shrugged my shoulders “So—“ he exhaled and avoided making eye contact with me, “Look Jiyeun, when they were doing the check-up they found something” Jaehoon put his hand on my shoulder, “You have cancer.”

Italic = the past

normal = the present

I hope you have enjoyed the first chapter, the next few chapters will be up soon. 

- Hope