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                I wake up to a sudden light on my face.  Someone pulled my blinds up and I’m not happy about it.  I sit up and stretch my arms above my head as I yawn.  Then, I try to get the sleep out of my eyes and attempt to wake up more thoroughly.  The only progress I achieve is yawning again and plopping back down into my soft covers.  I start to doze off, but a voice stops me.

                “Come on, sleepy-head!  It’s time to get up and do you know how adorable you look while you’re asleep?  You’re so peaceful~” Baekho pulls me out of my almost dream.  I scowl at him; my dream had Nana in it, so I‘m not pleased with waking up.  I tell Baekho that he can just shut up and leave me alone so that I can get ready.  By getting ready, I mean getting dressed, fixing my hair, and doing my makeup. 

                After the blond annoyance leaves, I fall back on my bed and sigh.  If only Nana knew how I feel about her.  She isn’t that much older than me (four years, one month, and seventeen days), so it’s possible, right?  I just wish that she loved me the way I love her.  She’s so beautiful and I’m . . . me.  She would never love a seventeen year old, especially since I just turned seventeen less than a month ago.  I decide to finish up my moping so that I can get ready.  An hour later, I make my way into the dining room, where the rest are about to sit down to eat.

                “Rennie, why are you wearing makeup?  We aren’t going anywhere today.” JR asks me.  I blush a little bit because I don’t want to admit why I am wearing makeup.  Unfortunately, Minhyun is able to guess why.  I swear he knows me too well.

                “It’s cause he might see Nana~ today!” Yeah, Minhyun, just yell it out so that everyone can hear, why don’t you?  Sometimes he can really get on me nerves with how much he can see through me.  I don’t see how he can see right through my ice queen expression.  It’s a little weird, but he is just one of those types of people who loves people and can read pretty much anyone he wants.  It pisses me off sometimes, but can be handy for getting information about Nana.

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                I should have known.  Of course the makeup is for Nana, who else?  Just the thought of her makes me feel uncomfortable.  Don’t get me wrong, I respect her completely!  It’s just . . . I don’t think that she is right for Ren.  He needs someone who really understands him.  She barely notices him no matter how much he tries.  She doesn’t mean to, though.  I just don’t see how she doesn’t notice him at all most of the time; that’s like close to impossible! 

                Ren’s crush on Nana is just so obvious, it hurts.  Why can’t he see how much others care about him?  Take me, for example.  I’m the leader of this group and he doesn’t freaking see how much I care about him at all. This band means the world to me, and he doesn’t realize how much I look after him.  He’s the maknae and I’m the leader so I should take care of him.  That freaking diva doesn’t understand that at all.  He’s so blind thanks to the beautiful aegyo princess. 

                While I’m grumbling to myself, I don’t notice Baekho throw his arm around me- until he whispers in my ear, “It’s a little obvious, try to calm down.”  He’s the only one who knows my dark secret.  I just glare at him.  My emotions are going crazy right now and he’s not helping.  I know he means well, but he doesn’t have to bring this up now, especially in front of everyone else.  I don’t care if it’s obvious- I just want to get out of here.  I grab my breakfast and storm off to my room, slamming the door behind me.  Then, my tears start to come out.

                A few minutes later, I hear a soft knock on my door.  I quickly dry my face, which was by now soaked with tears.  Checking my face in the mirror on the way to the door, I notice that my hair is sticking up on the side.  I comb it down and then get to the door.  After I open it, I couldn’t help but internally groan.  It was, of course, Ren and I looked terrible.  The look on his face was one of worry and shock at seeing me with dried tears on my face.  Either way, I let him in and quickly shut the door, so the others won’t see me like this. 

                We’re alone.  And it feels amazing.

                “What’s the matter?”  Ren asks me.  “Why are you crying?” He comes closer and wipes away the last remains of my tears.  My heart is beating a mile a minute and he has no idea how I feel about him.  That thought makes my tears want to fall again, but I don’t let them.  “You look really stressed out, JR.  I know you do a lot for us and you aren’t appreciated- well, you don’t think you are.  I’m sorry if I don’t act like I care.  I really do, but it’s just hard for me to express that.  I hope you understand how sorry I am.  I’ll try my best to get over that issue of mine for you.” 

                Ren is so sweet; I love that guy so much.  Too much.  Much more than I should.  So much, it isn’t normal.  I pull that little ball of adorableness into a hug.  He hesitates for a split second before hugging me back and pulling me closer.  He’s so strong for such a skinny guy.  He places his head on my shoulder and we stand there, hugging, for who knows how long.  Eventually, he leads me over to my bed and tells me to sit on the floor with my back against the bed.  I obey his orders and he sits on the bed with his legs next to my arms.  He moves his hands to my shoulders and starts massaging them. 

                I close my eyes and tilt my head back.  I swear it feels like I’ve died and gone to heaven; it feels so good.  Then I feel his fingers in my hair as he moves my head forward so that he can get my neck as well.  Personally, I just wish that he would keep his hands in my hair.  Ren murmurs something about how tight my neck is, but I’m not paying attention.  This is pure bliss- getting a good massage from REN.  I feel like I’m about to go crazy; I want him so much.  I just wish I could tell him. 

                “What are you thinking about?” Ren asks me.  I tell him that I was just thinking about how amazing he is at this, but he doesn’t believe that that’s all.  Then he stops massaging me.  “I won’t continue until you tell me the truth.”  I should probably tell him.  I have to tell him; even if it means hearing that he’s straight, which is my worst nightmare.  I take a deep breath, turn to face him, and sit down on the bed in front of him.  Here goes nothing.

                “Ilikeyou,” I say quietly in a rush.  The look on his face tells me that he didn’t understand what I said.  Then I swallow my fear and repeat it, but he still doesn’t understand me.  I can’t do this.  I can’t tell him how I feel; the fear of hearing the probable truth is too great.  He likes Nana, not me.  He wouldn’t even consider liking me.  I make the mistake of looking at his face, which is silently pleading me to tell him what I meant.  I make the bigger mistake to look at his beautiful lips.  Dang, I want to kiss him so bad. 

                Before I know it, I’m leaning toward him.  There’s no stopping it now.  My lips reach his and my world lights up.  I press my mouth against his some more until I get a response.  The moment he moves his lips the slightest bit is the happiest of my life.  After a couple more seconds, he presses against me as well.  My hands rise up to cup his adorable face and his arms encircle my neck.  His lips part ever so slightly and I take the advantage to his semi open lips, begging for entrance.  He allows me to shove my tongue into his mouth and I take full control.  Ren is mine and I will make sure to keep it that way. 

                Ren tightens his grip around me and pulls me down on top of him as he leans back onto my bed.  Oh god, this is what I’ve been dreaming about since I laid eyes on this boy and now it’s coming true.  This is . . . perfect . . . I want to stay like this forever.  Unfortunately, my forever has to end because we really need to breathe.  I plop over next to him, breathing heavily.  I glance over and he’s staring at me.  I lean over and give him a small kiss on the forehead.  A small smile plays at his lips.  I ask him about Nana.  I can’t believe I totally forgot about her.

                “I was afraid you were straight and Nana would be my choice if I was straight, so I acted like I liked her and kept telling myself that I did.  I didn’t want to tell you because I don’t think I would have handled it very well.”  My blond cutie bites his lip ily with a worried look on his face. “Are you mad at me?” I could never be mad at him and I tell him so.  He looks reassured and I kiss him again.

                “I love you, Ren.  I always have and always will.  You’re now mine.  Forever.”

hey! yeah. more jren. and i deleted some stories :( im making this just a place to post my oneshots. they are always soooo much better!  saranghae~~~