*Phone rings with ‘Be Mine’*

I can hear my phone ring and I groan because I’m still asleep. I turn to my front and look at my desk clock to see that it’s 5:45 am. What the heck? Who calls at this time? My phone continues to ring and whoever it is, he’s so patient and insisting. I turn to my side and over again, throwing a tantrum. Hang up! Gah! Why won’t you hang up? I try to reach my phone, only to push myself from the bed. I crash on the floor, my body in pain. I reach for my phone on the side desk and answer whoever is calling.

“Yoboseo?” I ask sleepily. Whoever you are, you must be sorry for waking me up at this time in the morning and making me fall to the ground!

“Good morning,” the voice says sweetly.                                                                               

“Nuguseyo,” I say, asking his name. My mind is still drifting off into sleep.

“Ne? Ah, anniyeo. Happy monthsary! You’re mad, aren’t you? Sorry for waking you up,” just then I realize that it’s Myungsoo.

“Anni. I’m not mad; I’m just startled with you waking me up this early. Happy monthsary!” I say hoarsely.

“Saranghae. I miss you so much!” he says, I feel his smile behind the phone.

“What? Miss me? We are like together yesterday for the whole day. My omma got mad at me because I didn’t attend to my dishes,” I tell, blaming him.

“Jeongmal??? Ah, jakaman (wait)!” he says, going away. I wait for him to return to the phone. After 10 seconds, I hear the phone in our living room ring. I crawl to the door and peek out. My omma, also just awaken, goes to answer the phone, scratching her head. I try to overhear the conversation, with my phone still near my ear.

“Yoboseo? Ah, ne? Alguessumneeda (I understand). Just tell me next time, arasso? Ah, ne. Oh,” she says, putting the phone down. She enters her room and closes the door. I close mine and I can hear my phone come alive again.

“Nae-rin, are you still there? Yoboseo?” Myungsoo utters.

So, he called my house, for my omma to answer the phone and for him to explain; great! Such distraction.

“Ne, I’m here.”

“The problem is solved, just that, I have to ask permission from your omma . . . even if she trusts me.”

“Kkabuji mallaetji (Told you not to fool around)! You’re embarrassing me, even in front of my mother,” I say as if I’m mad as form of teasing.

“You’re mad at me, on our monthsary?” he asks concerned.

Keep the game on, my subconscious says, allowing me to say, “Yes. I’m hanging up, so don’t call me back!” I did hang up the phone and seemingly, I went overboard. This day should be happy and a game that I thought would be fun will ruin it.

I walk to school, hoping to see Myungsoo there to apologize and explain that I was joking around, only to know that he’s absent. God! I hope he’s not sulking in the corner of the room, trying to pull his hair out . . . okay, exaggeration. I continue my day with disappointment. Happy monthsary, Lee Nae-rin! It’s so happy, you’re spending it alone. I walk home, feeling gloomy and sort.

“It’s Myungsoo’s fault! He didn’t get your humor!” I shout, throwing my handkerchief to the ground.

“Ya! Lee Nae-rin! What are you doing? Why are you shouting at the ground?” a voice booms out of nowhere.

Oh, I’m home. I walked home looking down, good thing I didn’t get hit by a truck or anything. I look at some place where the voice could be from, until Myungsoo’s head peeps out my window. Wait, my window?

I run inside my house to find my omma talking to Myungsoo, and they’re laughing. I come out startled that my omma has to laugh.

“Oh? Nae-rin, wae? Why are you looking as if you saw a ghost or what?” my omma says.

I stand in silence, looking at my omma, and then I turn to Myungsoo. I look at him and he’s happy. So, he doesn’t care? So, he did get my joke? I’m more raged now, than a while ago. I run to my room and it’s locked. I hurriedly search for my keys in my bag and carelessly unlock my door.

“Ah! What’s this?” I shout, almost uttering cruel words.

“Happy Monthsary, yeobo!” Myungsoo says, standing up. Argh, I’m feeling frustrated already. My room is filled with roses and to say, some are squished (Myungsoo probably trying to remember his confession). There’s nowhere to move about. I’m mad!!! Again! At myself, for thinking too deep into this and at Myungsoo, for making my room a rose garden. Okay, he makes his point in showing his love, but this? Ah, molla.

“Mianhae,” Myungsoo hugs me from behind. “Sorry for filling your room with roses and sorry for not coming to school. You probably have thought that you’ll spend our monthsary alone, did you?”

“Yes,” punching him, “I hate you!” then hugging him.

How can he do this? Make me feel angry and the same time, loved? It’s so ironic. He’s hug me for ten seconds when I realize my omma’s existence.

“Ah, omma!” I say, breaking from Myungsoo’s embrace.

“Ya, ya, ya, ok!” she says, moving her hands as if saying ‘go on’ and leaves us.

First PDA: in front of my omma. >_< Embarrassing!

“I’m sorry for filling your room with flowers,” Myungsoo says, sitting down on the floor.

“Gwenchana. You know, you should have told me about it. You could have used my yard and plant there and grow your flowers for your flower shop,” I say, stuffing my mouth with beef.

“I don’t have a flower shop,” Myungsoo says. I know . . . I’m just telling that he can build one.

Ok, awkward moment. We’re taken into silence again and something’s telling me that my omma is watching from her room. I turn to look at her door and see it move. Ok, she is.

“How come you’re in my room a minute before I enter and when I try to open my door, it’s locked?” I ask.

“Oh, that. Your omma told me to close the door as I leave. So I did.”

“Hmm. . . The flowers?”

“As you have thought of celebrating our monthsary alone because of my absence, I went to a flower shop and bought their roses. I think I don’t have enough roses; I wasn’t able to fill in your shelf. Maybe about six dozens.”

“Seriously? What do you expect me to do with all that?”

“I don’t know. Keep it as remembrance of our third monthsary; it’s a very memorable one don’t you think?”

I know he could have asked my omma about that withered rose by their wedding picture. I just nod in assent.

“That plenty?”

“Maybe one of those thousand roses.”

“Uhm . . . my second memorable rose,” I whisper to myself.

“What? Second rose?”

“Hm? Second rose . . . the first is when you got ourselves into detention,” I tell him, remembering that noteworthy day.

“Oh, that rose. The one you squished,” he says teasingly.

“Yeah, the one I squished. And seemingly, some roses in my room are squished as well. Did you do that in purpose?”

“Ne. brings back the memories.”

“Dramatic. That’s just three months ago.”

“Even though, it’s part of our history already.”

We’ve got history in three months. How many more months to fill a book? I can’t wait for forever to fill those in.

“So, do you want to go somewhere?” Myungsoo asks, finishing his food.

“You? I’m fine with anything.”

He stands up and walks towards my omma’s door. “Omma! I’m taking Nae-rin out.”

The door sounds and creaks open. My omma shows up and nods.

“Myungsoo, curfew: 9pm. Do you get that?”

“Ne, omma.”

I have to ask permission from your omma . . . even if she trusts me.

He returns to me with a smile and a probable assurance that my omma won’t be mad at me.

“So, should we go?”

“Wait, I’ll change. Do you want to go out with me in my school uniform?” I ask, pointing at my clothing.

“Can be. You look cute in them.”

I pout. That’s not what I want him to say. If he wants to, then he too should be in his uniform. I go in my room for a quick change. Casual is fine so I wear a dress, a jacket and flats. Myungsoo waits for me outside my room. I walk out and he pouts.

“What now?” I ask.
“Nothing.”
“Are you sure? Then why did you pout?”
“I just can’t get enough of how pretty you look, that’s all.”
“Stop with the flattery!”
“Ok,” he says then laughs.

We walk and walk and walk. Are we even getting in a car? He stops then hauls a taxi. Upon getting inside, he plugs earphones on both of my ears. I look at him questioning, but there’s no reply, just a smile. He plays a song by I don’t know, Baek- Ji young, I think. He tells something to driver and he starts to drive.

“Are you telling me where we are going?” I ask, putting one earphone plug out.

“No,” he says, holding my hands with the earphone and putting it back to my ear.

Why isn’t he telling me? I hate surprises. Just like today. I might just feel bad. A few minutes later, I think we’re passing Samillo. If we are, I know where we are going: Namsan Park.

“We’re here!” he says excitedly, I think he might forget paying the fare.

I walk out the taxi first and I watch as Myungsoo hands the driver our payment. He walks out and holds my hand.

“So, we’re here at Namsan Park. And I’m Myungsoo, you’re tour guide.”
“My tour guide?”
“Yes, you’re one and only tour guide.”
“Well, my one-and-only tour guide, nice meeting you,” I say, shaking Myungsoo’s hand. I love how free I can be when I’m with him, with no care even if somebody else is judging me by my actions; just because it’s him.

“Ms. Lee, as your tour guide, I want to ask you a favor.”
“Sure, what is it?”
“Whenever we are out on a date, in school, in your house, in my house,” I cut him off.
“In your house? I’ve never been in your house.”
“Shhh . . . you’ll be there soon. Okay, in my house . . . I want you to call me ‘Jagi,’ ok?”
“You want me to? Are you sure?”
He nods. “Okay, my one-and-only tour guide slash jagi, what are we going to do here in Namsan? Are you going to let me climb the tower?”
“No. we’ll ride the cable cars.”

Oh. It won’t go that high, so no worries of dying.

“You up for it?”
“Yeah. Uhm . . . will you let me sign some kind of compensation?”
“Why? Are you scared?” he asks worriedly.
“It’s not that,” Myungsoo cut me off.
“You know, we can skip that. I’ll take you to some other places.”
“No. I’m just thinking . . . Let’s go.” I take his hand and walk to the cable cars, obviously not knowing what to continue my sentence with.

Excitement eats over my fear and now, we’re entering the cable cars.

“So, what do you think?” he asks, looking around.
“Seriously? We’re not even five meters away from the ground. Ask me that if we’re like 20 meters off it.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Then what do you mean?”

The fluorescent lights of the cable car went off and small bright lights in it lights up. Is it Christmas? Two months time before that occasion, so, what is this? Ok, I get that it’s our monthsary, but something’s behind it.

“Nae-rin,” Myungsoo says, “You’ve been the heaven in my hellish world. You’ve been the star in my hazy night.”
“What exactly are you saying?” I ask playfully. He’s being nonsensical in a way that he’s making sense.
“Shhh . . .  You’ve been heavenly in an abyss that your thoughts made. You’ve been pretty and perfect in my eyes. You’re gentle as a new rose bud. You’re voice a melody repeating itself in my head.” His last sentence makes me feel as if he’s hallucinating some time of the day when we’re not together.
“Mr. Superfluity, please make your point.” I say, I can’t get any more of his, let’s say poetic entrance of saying something to me.
“Nothing. I don’t know.”
“What?’I ask. He’s not making sense.
“It has to be of no reasons. Yeah, there is no reason in it. I just do.”
“What?”
“Love you. I love you for no particular reason but I love you. I really just do. There’s no explanation or anything.”

He knows how to make me smile and now, he knows how to make me cry, directly. What I mean by directly is that I never cried of anything he does before because he’s not hurting me. He never does hurt me.

“I just want to say all these to you because, I don’t know. I just want to,” he says, shrugging his shoulders.
“Are you going to do something not concerning me? Are you leaving?” I ask cathartically.
“No, of course I’m not. Why would I? I’m happy with you. There’s no reason to leave.”

Oh, okay. Flow of Myungsoo’s emotions. We reach the top of Namsan Mountain. It’s pretty up here, but we didn’t get off the cable car. We return back to the ground, in silence, our hands intertwined and with smiles magically appear on our lips.

“That’s tiring, don’t you think?” he asks. Seriously? All we do is sit, stand, talk and listen.
“Uhm . . . yeah.” I don’t want to argue so I’ll just have to agree with him.
“Do you want to go some other place?”
“It is okay, well, what time is it? Remember the curfew my omma gave you?”
“Yes, 9. And the time is 7:15. We’ve got more than an hour, so should we go to our next itinerary?”
“If you please, Mr. Tour Guide slash Jagi,” I say taking his arm by mine.

We ride another taxi to somewhere. I better not ask because the places we are going are . . . some place I know.
“Are you ready to make a vow or a wish?” he asks, holding my hand.
“What do you mean?”
“Ahjusshi! Just on the corner please. Kamsamnida.”

Myungsoo’s hobby nowadays: not answering my question. We’re going to have some communication issues for sure.
“Here we are!”

We’re here . . . in a bridge of padlocks and wishes and vows. How simple our date is, but how romantic in comparison. We didn’t even spend that much. I stand; reading other’s wishes and vows. “I love you and I wish to spend life with you. I’m just waiting for you to say yes,” one of the letters written says. It’s sweet really. The guy is just waiting patiently and I don’t know why but, it only needs a ‘yes’, why can’t the girl give him that? Is she doubtful of his love? Not that I care but, whatever both person’s status be, I hope they’re meant for each other.

“Here are our padlocks, keys and papers” Myungsoo walks to me and hands me the three things, plus a pen. We silently write wishes or vows.  I start to write; emotions are flowing smooth as a calm river.
“Thank you for coming into my life. Sorry that I was not that appreciative, but you know that I am grateful for everything you are doing for me. I’m glad that it’s you. I promise to trust you and never doubt you, and if I do forget, please recall to me this promise. I will love you for all my life. It won’t be easy, but I hope you’ll take the rough road with me. Never leave me ok? Promise me that, Myungsoo.”

Upon finishing my writing, a smile escapes my lips. I feel really happy now. I look at Myungsoo and he’s silently writing. He’s deep into his thoughts, I can tell. He won’t get distracted with my stare, as if I do not even exist. I move toward him and pretend to read what he’s writing. For the next three seconds, he notices me and hides his paper. He looks at me, panicked. He laughs seconds later.

“You’re pouting. Why?” he asks, pinching my cheeks.
I point to his hands. Is he hiding something from me? He looks at his hands, smiles and hands me his paper.
“Ya! Lee Nae-rin! I’m you’re only guy, okay? I can’t own you because you’re still you’re mother’s only daughter. So, let’s settle down with me saying, ‘I’m yours.’ I will love you until my last breath. I’m sure that you’re the one whom I’ll spend my life with. I’m sorry that you can’t kiss me; I just want that your first kiss would be the start of the time only concerning us. You’re the center of my world right now; I hope I am in yours too. If you love me, please take all burdens with me. I don’t want you to face them alone. I promise to make you feel loved when you’re at your lowest. I’ll carry you on my back on our way home. If ever we got separated; I want both of us to find our ways back to each other. We may feel as if we are hurting each other, it only means that we love each other so much. I think you can only be truly mad at someone you really love. Be strong with me, please; I love you.”

His last sentence, takes my breath away. Yes, I can and will be strong for and with him. Tears start to fall, it’s just beautiful and sincere.
“Hey, don’t cry. What part in here makes you feel hurt? I’ll revise it,” he says, taking his letter.
I hug him tightly. How can I ever get tired with someone like him?
“Stop it, Nae-rin. We’re not delinquent and judge to hide things from each other. What is it? What are you crying about?” he says, caressing my hair.
“I’m just . . . I’m thankful of you. I’m not crying too much, right?” I ask, as I break free from our hug.
He laughs and says, “No, you’re fine. I shouldn’t deny this; emotions really mess up my head and now, it made me write down things that will make you cry. I guess I have to say sorry again. How many sorry’s have I said today?”
“Enough for a go-to-heaven guarantee,” I joke, still crying, though, but not heavily.
He laughs and kisses me on my forehead, “Oh, plenty of reasons to love you! Being witty is one of it.”
“Make me laugh,” I protest.
“What? How am I supposed to do that?” Yeah, how is he supposed to do that?
“Uhm . . . Dance for me.”
“Here?” I nod. There’s no one here to watch him. What is he ashamed about?
He pouts and takes a breath. He starts to sing and dance SNSD’s Gee. It’s funny because he’s ashamed to do it. He can’t make me laugh by dancing a boy group song, so a girl group song is a good choice.
“Kim Myungsoo! You’re a great dancer! Whooo!” I shout and laugh, which seems as if I forgot that I cried few moments ago. I am teasing him. Now, whoever is watching him will know his name. He stops dancing and launches himself at me. He carries me and shouting, “I’m going to throw you off this bridge for letting me dance.”
“Well, at least you made me laugh. You always do what I want and give me even those I don’t ask for. Thank you.”
“Wait, we haven’t put out padlocks on the bars yet.”
“Oh, right. I almost forgot.”

He puts me down and gives me the key to my padlock. I unlock it and punch in my paper, and lock it on the bar. Myungsoo did the same. He hands out his hand, asking for the keys. I give him mine.

“To a lifelong promise!” he screams, throwing the keys off the bridge. Now, no one can unlock these padlocks we secured.
“I guess you’re tired. Do you want to go home? Or do you want to eat first?” he asks, taking my hand and starting to walk.
“Mokta!”
“Okay, we’ll eat first, then we’ll go home,” he says, assuring me.

We go to some kind of polished restaurant. Looking at the walls, many artists have been here. I guess we won’t be able to get a table for ourselves. 

“Table for two, please,” Myungsoo says. I’m looking around and yeah, I won’t fit in here.
“Can we afford anything here?” I ask.
“Not that we’re in a sophisticated restaurant we can’t buy anything. Not all good things are expensive.”
“Oh.”

“This way please,” a waitress tell us. She is very accommodating, I like her. Assisting us to our table, I look at the waitress’s name to see Lara written on it. Her name is Lara and I like it. It’s pretty just how she looks.

“So, what will we have?” Myungsoo asks.
“Anything light. I don’t want stuffing myself. I can feel myself vomiting if I do eat a heavy meal.”
“Okay. I’ll just order white kimchi. The one not that much fermented and without the spices.”
“Oh, the one with the baby octopus on top? Oh, okay. I like that. You? What will you have?”
“This kimchi with Australian cheese, maybe. It sounds delicious.”
“Hmm . . .”

He calls out a waiter and the waiter lists down our orders. While doing so, I remember a line in his letter: I’m sorry that you can’t kiss me; I just want that your first kiss would be the start of the time only concerning us. So, he can kiss me and I can’t kiss him. That’s unfair. The one who loves greater must show the most affection. I believe I love him greater than him to me. Upon finishing his list of orders, the waiter sprints away.

“I can’t kiss you? Why?” I suddenly utter. I must know why. I can wait if his reason is relevant.
“No, you just can’t. Maybe next time,” he says.
“Next time? Life is too short to wait for ‘next time’ that may never come,” I say.
“Don’t say that please. Now is not prim. That time will come, just not now.”

Lara, the accommodating waitress, comes on our table, carrying our food. She puts it down on the table. Before she leaves I utter her a thank you.

“Lara, komawo.” She looks at me with eyes wide and then smiles. She bows and leaves. I guess she never receives incentives from people who come here. She’s accommodating and she deserves it.

“Let’s eat!” Myungsoo says, handing me the pair of chopstick.
“Jalkomketsseumnida,” we utter before eating. (Before eating, Koreans say this phrase which means “I’ll eat well”)

We eat, while Superstar K4’s Roy Kim’s voice serenades us from the speakers. Myungsoo gives me a part of his food and I did same. No conversation is formed, actually. If this continues, I hope Myungsoo brought a face towel or wipes; I might fall asleep on my food in boredom.

“Ya! Bring me the manager! Now! What the heck is this?” a guy from the other table screams. Oh, the restaurant is up for compensation.

I look at the pile of staff piling at the corner. Their heads keep turning left and right, probably wondering who should go and calm the customer who is in rampage. One of them pushes Lara and she almost trip. The customer will surely calm down with her presence. She walks slowly to that table. The guy is still swearing at the cook, who messed up his meal. Lara is nearing the table and the guy quiets down.
“Thought so,” I utter, actually whispering it to myself.
“What do you mean by thought so?” Myungsoo asks, startling me. So, he’s observing me?
“Uhm . . . I knew someone would come to silence the customer on rampage.”
“Oh. Isn’t that the girl who assisted us? She’ll definitely get a raise in her salary for facing this,” Myungsoo utters amused.

“Excuse me, sir, but what’s wrong?” Lara asks, interspersed.
“Ah . . . I . . . You . . . I think the food is not properly cooked. Maybe you can check it. Sorry for going on a rampage,” the guy utters. He likes her.
Lara nods and takes a look at the food and, stops a laugh by pressing her lips together.
“It’s half-cooked. It is what it’s supposed to be. You can eat it,” Lara utters.

A guy from the same table stands up and says, “Sorry for the interruption. Please continue eating.”
I laugh. What a show! As the guy sits, his eyes locks mine. I know who he is; I really do. A flashback suddenly occurs and then I remember: Lee Jin-ki or as he prefers people to call him, Onew.  He’s my . . . middle school suitor, and I must say, he’s grown mature and more handsome. What am I thinking? He waves a hand at me and I absent-mindedly did same. No smile escapes my lips when I wave my hand; I guess I’m too surprised. Myungsoo’s eyes grow big and turn to see who I am waving at.

“You know him?” he asks. I didn’t answer, although I know he might doubt me. “Nae-rin!”  He shouts, waving his hand to catch my attention.
“Ne?”
“Who’s that?”
“Who? That?”
“The one you’re waving at?”
“Oh, that. My former . . .,” how do I say suitor without him suspecting me.
“Former?” he wants me to continue. Oh, what the heck! I have nothing to hide from him.
“Suitor,” I say straightforwardly.
“Eh?”
“Suitor. Like a man wooing a woman. Yeah, he was that in my middle school years,” I press my lips together, not wanting to talk about it.

Myungsoo goes quiet and I know that my revelation is bothering him.

“Are you sure that he’s only a suitor?” he asks, pretending to scratch the plate with his fork.
“Will you doubt me if I say no?” I say. He looks up and sadness is on his face.
“No.”
“Then, no. Please don’t put this up today. And I told you before, and repeatedly, you are my first. I even doubted reaching three months because I know how tiresome I can be.”
“You’re not tiresome, and we’ll reach more than three months.” Okay, Myungsoo’s change of subject.
I just nod, I’m getting tired. I just want to go home.

“Hey, Nae-rin! Remember me? Onew from our middle school years?” Onew suddenly shows up.
I look at him and then at Myungsoo; this is causing trouble.
“Yeah, I remember you. Oh, and this is Myungsoo, my boyfriend.” I say, introducing Myungsoo. There! I hope you won’t doubt me anymore. I introduce you as my boyfriend to my former suitor; I’m not ashamed of you. Onew looks at Myungsoo and smiles.
“Oh, hi. I’m one of Nae-rin’s middle school friends, Onew. Nice meeting you,” Onew hands out his hand to Myungsoo for a hand shake.
“Nice meeting you, too. Was that your friend back there? He really caused a stir,” Myungsoo says, returning the shake.
“Yeah, he’s Nae-rin’s friend too,” then he looks at me, “You remember him, don’t you?”
“Not really,” I reply, shaking my head.
“Taemin. And seemingly, he’s a lucky guy tonight. Although embarrassing because he’s on a rampage, he got quite a catch.”
“Oh, yeah, Taemin. I remember him. What do you mean by catch?”
“He fell in love at first sight,” Onew explains straightforwardly. I catch a glimpse at the other table and see Taemin eyeing on Lara who is busy serving other tables. Lara would catch sight of him looking at her and she goes all clumsy. I think Taemin doesn’t care because he still continues on his ‘venture’. Lara takes a break and Taemin approaches her. He magically produces a rose or got it from their table’s decoration and gives it to Lara. Lara receives it and Taemin goes all red. It’s cute. Oh, what love can do!

“So, we better be leaving,” Myungsoo says out of the blue. I guess I’ve been observing Lara and Taemin a little too long.
“Oh, we are?” I ask.
“Yes, it’s almost nine. I might do my narrative report. So, Onew, good bye. It’s nice meeting you,” Myungsoo says, shaking Onew’s hand. Am I in a business meeting?
“You go first, I’ll just pay to the cashier,” I say, walking towards the counter. Myungsoo nods and goes out.
Onew follows me there and tries to form a conversation.
“It’s been long, don’t you think?”
“Long for what?”
“You know, the last time I tried to ask you out, you said that you hate guys; only to see you now with a boyfriend.” Onew, people change. People have a change of heart.
“Ah, that was before. I guess I’m too stubborn about work that I find guys as distractions,” I say, handing the money to the cashier, “Oh, I better be going. Good bye,” I walk away from the counter.
“But, you see, I still like you.”