Two days until Christmas

…A happy time for some. A sad time for others.

I stared out the window with my head, resting upon my bent arm on the sill.

I’m finally heading back.

Going back to that one place I’ve been running from the past two years.

“Will you still love me? Even if I disappear?”

“Disappear? Of course.” He smiled, and then chuckled as if I’d asked him a ridiculous question. “But why are you solemn, my love? It’s almost Christmas.”

“No reason,” I leaned into his embrace, and tried my best to chuckle. “No reason at all.” I paused and looked down at the ring on my finger, before continuing, “I love you, Yoochun,”

“I love you too,” He replied, as he kissed my forehead.

I wonder if it’ll still count. I wonder if he’d still love me.

I sighed, as I saw the plane fly over land. My hand instinctively reached for the ring hanging from my necklace.

I love you. And I’m sorry.

That was all I had written on the note I’d left him. I couldn’t explain what had happened. Nor could I tell him where I was going.

My life before I’d met him was quite different. I wasn’t the innocent accountant who I had claimed to be. I was working undercover for the FBI trying to bust an organised terrorist ring. And as fate would have if, Yoochun was working across the street as the manager of a restaurant. It was love at first sight, but it couldn’t have happened at a worst time.

That case had only been my second on the field. I was new and trying so hard not to expose myself. But at the tender age of 21, my heart seemed to rule over my brain and our love bloomed. I didn’t think it would affect my work…until we had leads indicating that there was a terrorist in that shop.

At that stage, I was already engaged to be married to the man I thought to be the love of my life. I was sure that Yoochun couldn’t have anything to do with something so cruel, but I couldn’t take any chances.

I left him on Christmas day, with no warning: just with the sweet memories of the night before. 

It took 6 months to clear his name and to track down the real perpetrator – the receptionist. By that time, I had already travelled to the Middle East to find the originators of the group. But I missed him everyday, and just wished I could see him or even just hear his voice.

It took another year after that for us to find and shut down the terrorist group, and then another month of finalize it in our hometown. I was still overseas though; using the last few months to get my life back on track as I quit the service.

“We are going to land at our destination within five minutes. Please return to your seats, place them in the upright position and fasten your seat belts.” A message was played throughout the cabin.

I hadn’t kept contact with him within the past two years. I didn’t even know whether he had moved on or not. I had no plan. No backup. Not even a gun.

I was solo.

And it was more nerve racking that facing an entire terrorist group.

-------------------------

“Baby?” He called out to me, as he stepped into the room.

“Yes, honey?” I replied turning around, to see him carrying a bouquet of roses and a cake. “You remembered,” I smiled and put down the dishes that I was staking away and walked over to him to give him a hug.

“Happy Birthday, baby. I’m sorry we couldn’t go anywhere,” He apologised, placing the cake on the table and wrapping his arms around me. “It was really hectic today,”

“It’s alright,” I smiled, pulling back to give him a quick peck on the lips. “I know your trying to expand the business.” I picked up the bouquet and smelled them. “I’m just happy your remember me, in your busy life.”

“I could never forget you.” He picked up the flowers and placed them on the table, so he could pull me in closer. “I love you,”

“I love you too,” We both smiled, before we leaned in for another kiss.

I stepped out of the airport, with that happy memory in my mind. I flagged down a taxi and placed my luggage into the back.

“Where to?” The taxi driver asked, as we settled back into the car.

I repeated an address; I never thought I’d be saying again. “My home,” I whispered the last part, as I sunk into the back seat finally glad I could come home.

I hoped that Yoochun hadn’t moved in the past two years. Or that he got a new girlfriend. I’m not sure what I’d do if he did. I knew what I did was wrong and I knew it would probably take time for my to accept me again. But whatever would happen, I knew my feelings for him would never falter.

I finally arrived at the apartment complex to which he lived at and keyed in the passcode, hoping it still hadn’t changed.

Luckily, it hadn’t.

That made my heart both sink and flutter with joy. I was happy because, it most likely meant he hadn’t moved. But at the same time, all these feelings of worry flooded into my heart.

After taking in two deep breathes, I gathered up my courage and entered the lobby and pressed for the elevator.

DING.

I stepped inside and pressed the highest button and then waited for the doors to close. Releasing another breath of air, I waited anxiously for the doors to reopen at the top floor.

DING.

Taking in another deep breath, I stepped out of the elevator, and as if my feet had never forgotten his place they moved forward. I could concentrate on nothing other that that door as I walked forward. But before I could even arrive at the door, it swung open and out came the man I hadn’t seen in two years.

“Why isn’t the manager there?!” He spoke hurriedly into his phone, which he was holding up with his shoulder, as his hands were too busy doing his tie. “I’m coming, open up the shop and begin with the order. I’ll be there s-” His words were cut off as he finally looked up, and caught sight of me. His entire body froze.

Unsure of what to do, I stepped forward, dragging my luggage behind me and finally stopped in front of him. His eyes remained fixed on me, and his arms let go of the tie. Releasing my luggage, I reached up and continued to fix his tie.

“You’re still not very good at these, are you?” I said, trying to remove the silence. His body unfroze and his phone dropped to the floor. “Hello Yoochun, it’s me.” I said weakly, not entirely sure what to make of his silence.

I had prepared myself for tears, anger and even hatred. But not silence.

I had finally fixed his tie and proceed to let go. But his hand moved up and caught my palm. He held it slightly before placing it on his cheek.

“It’s you,” He whispered, “It’s really you.”

“It’s me. It’s really me.” I said, looking into his eyes. He released my arms and wrapped them around me.

“It really is you.” He repeated, holding me tightly. I could feel my eyes fill up with tears, as I felt his warm embrace encase my body. “I’ll never let you go again,”

He continued to hold me, in the hallway and I could feel small wet drops fall upon my shoulder. “I’m sorry,” I said, “I’m so sorry, I-”

“Shh,” He pulled away, and his lips sealed over mine. “I missed you so much,”

“I did too,” I pulled him in close, wanting to never let go.

“Hello?” I could hear a faint yelling voice; I looked down at the open phone and then began to pull away. Finally realizing the situation we were in. “Ahh, you should get that,”

He didn’t respond so I looked up at him and saw him smiling gently at me. I missed the feeling I’d get when he looked at me. The way my heart soared and I knew everything would be fine.

He reached down to pick up the phone, “Something just came up, call the part-time manager, tell him to come in and that I’ll pay him double if he does. Thanks, bye.”

He placed his phone into his pants pocket, and grabbed my luggage with one hand and my hand with the other. And without another word, he led me inside.