Inner Turmoil
Been Lying {HIATUS}
Am I really jealous? As a friend? As more than a friend?.... No, No, No. Changjo shook his head furiously. For the past couple of days, he had been trying to analyze his own feelings. I love Chunji. I'm just jealous as a friend. Yeah, that's it. I just miss my best friend. Changjo was desperately try to convince himself that what he was feeling. But if that's all he was feeling why did it feel like there was more to it.
Changjo's inner turmoil didn't go unnoticed. Chunji felt like his boyfriend seemed distant and distracted. No matter how many times he would try to catch Changjo's attention, the other boy would drift off into his own thoughts.
"Babe, is something wrong?" Chunji questioned.
Changjo avoided the question. "What? What makes you say that?"
"You seem a little distracted. Is everything ok?" Chunji pressed on.
"Of course. Why wouldn't they be?"
The younger boy gave his boyfriend a reassuring smile. He gave Chunji a kiss on the cheek before pulling him close to his body. Changjo wrapped his arms around Chunji's body as they laid together on the older boys bed.
Why are you lying to me, Changjo? Chunji couldn't verbally express his thoughts. As much as he wanted to know what was on the other boys mind, he knew Changjo was holding back the truth for a reason. Chunji was hoping that when the other boy was ready, he would share his secret with him.
"You know you can tell me anything."
"I know, babe. Thank you. I'm so lucky to have you as my boyfriend."
Changjo gave Chunji a quick peck on the lips. He was hoping that it would be enough to pacify the older boy's curiosity. Chunji wasn't stupid. Changjo was sure the other boy knew something was wrong, but how could he tell his boyfriend that he might have feelings for someone else. He wasn't even sure himself about his own feelings.
Changjo did his best to act normal. He pushed his thoughts aside and put his focus back on Chunji. He rolled to his side and gazed over at the sweet face beside him. Chunji looks just as innocent as Ricky... And he's understanding and sweet. No. I can't betray him. Changjo made the determination to be a loyal boyfriend no matter how torn his heart was acting.
"Is-is something on my face?" Chunji nervously asked. Though he didn't look directly at the young boy, he felt his intense stare burning through him.
Changjo shook his head. "No... I just like looking at your beautiful face." he answered.
Chunji blushed at the sweet words. It seemed like the old Changjo was back.
Changjo cupped Chunji's cheek and directed the other face to look at him. He stared into Chunji's eyes. I love Chunji. I love Chunji. I love Chunji. He kept repeating the words in his mind.
Changjo pulled the older boy closer. He placed his lips on the other before closing his eyes. They shared a slow sensual kiss. Changjo pulled away, studying Chunji's face as he did. The other boy still had his eyes close, waiting for Changjo's next move.
"I love you, Chunji." Changjo whispered into the other's ear.
Chunji's eyes fluttered open at the sudden confession. "I love you too."
Changjo began to nibble on Chunji's ear and swirled his tongue on his ear lobe. A soft moan escaped from his boyfriend. He continued to move his way down, kissing and Chunji's soft skin. He wanted his tongue to taste every bite of Chunji. He continue to and on neck and collar, Chunji's moans urging him on. Changjo used one arm to pulled Chunji's body closer to his, while his other hand searched for the hem of Chunji's shirt and sneaking underneath it. He allowed his hand to roam on the other boy's lean body.
Chunji was lost in thought. Changjo's ever touch was making him weak. He didn't have the strength to resist the younger affections, even if he wanted to. They had shared kisses and hugs, but this was the most intimate they've ever been. His body wanted to feel more but his mind was in a panic. He may have been the older of the two, but he was still a . The though of going any further made him nervous. Chunji reached his limit when he felt Changjo trying to undo his belt. Chunji grabbed the younger boy's wrist to stop him.
"W-w-wait." Chunji stuttered.
Changjo looked down at his nervous boyfriend. "What's wrong? You don't like it?"
Chunji was flushed. He didn't want to disappoint his boyfriend but at the same time he wasn't ready. He bite his lower lip, trying to be careful with what he would say.
"Yes, I like it... But... But we're moving a little to fast for me. Can we slow it down."
Changjo smiled at his innocent boyfriend. "I'm sorry babe. I didn't mean to push you to far."
"No, it's ok. I want to eventually do more things with you, but just slowly."
It was hard to hold back his urges, but Changjo wasn't going to force the other to do something he wasn't ready for.
"Ok, just tell me when you're ready." Changjo kissed Chunji's forehead.
Chunji still had a hold on Changjo's wrist. He pulled Chango's hand under his shirt and rub on his torso. "This was ok."
Changjo smirked at his boyfriend's action. He started to feel his way underneath Chunji's shirt while his lips and tongue attacked his neck. Chunji began to moan again and they resumed their little make out session.
Changjo enjoyed pleasing the other boy, but he felt guilty at the same time. He was trying to be intimate with Chunji but in his mind he was picturing Ricky the whole time.
A/N: It's been awhile since I've updated. I'm sorry about that.
Our Changjo is being a bad boy. The drama is starting to build.
I also wanna thank aerin01, shereneleong, badvolkan91, minho19, Sabiya, ILoveBadeul, rimika_chan, onewlover123, OnlyForYa, TaeminRickyLover, mysarra, omgith, EXOkpop424, anazmawar, b2steenfinite, Apelsin, thek-popmaniac, DarkKnightPrince, dwaeji_ricky, & yako123 for subscribing and showing me some support.
*The image up top is not mine.*
Comments