The latter levels of the competition were harder than Ren imagined. He barely made it to the level where he is now.

The interschool level’s the only part where he’d a bit of self-confidence. He really is the best high jump athlete at their district. After a week of training he passed and entered the regional level. He met a lot of great and well-trained athletes there. Very much not like him, he just started training and still has a lot of things to master. The other athletes literally fly and they dedicate all of their time training. Maybe studying comes in between sometimes, but for Ren, he needs to work while training and studying. His parents’ didn’t give him money, as usual, aside for his weekly allowance. It is not enough, there are a lot of things he needs. The school supply them with what they could give, they’re taken care of really well, but still, it is not enough.

The regional level seemed to bother Ren so much. He won by a centimeter. He believes that he won because of luck and not because of his ability. He became the representative of Busan. And in a week he’ll be flying to Seoul together with the other athletes. Minhyun and Aron will go with him too, they’re the beasts of table tennis, and he envy them, they’re confident. They’ve been playing table tennis ever since elementary school and this is not the first national competition they’re attending, both of them were also Busan’s representative for table tennis last year. They’re more relaxed, more trained, more sure of their capabilities.

The trip to Seoul is calm, so different from what Ren had expected. Before he left the house, his mom invited him for a talk. She asked if he’s going to be okay alone in the busy city, if he needs something, if he has everything important packed up. Ren’s mother asked a lot, much to Ren’s surprise. He then thought, if he needed something and asked his mom for it, would she give that? That’d be a miracle if she did. But his mom’s nagging seemed to make Ren happy, all the while remembering what his mom said.

“This is the first time you’re going somewhere so far alone. Believe it or not I am worrying. You, you must take care of yourself. I trust you. Do call or leave a message when you reached Seoul.”

After she said that, she gave Ren an awkward hug and whispered to his ears, “Win or lose, you’re the best.” As she pulled away, she inserted something on Ren’s jacket and tapped his shoulder before leading him to the front door. Before she finally let Ren go, she smiled and said, “I know I act creepy and all but… Hwaiting! Show them what a Choi got!”

Ren smiled while looking at the scenery outside the train. He then took the envelope his mom put inside his jacket not so long ago. He chuckled when he saw what’s inside. A letter and money.

This is not a large amount but I hope this help. Ren, I know we’ve been bad parents but never ever think that we don’t care. You need to come back happy and proud. Don’t ever regret this, or we will never let you go out again.

He couldn’t help but sniff as tears threatened to fall from his eyes. He still doesn’t know why his parents act cold towards him when they’re at home but the warmth he’d received the past few days made him feel that they actually care. Little by little he’s feeling that he’s somebody’s son. And this became one of his reasons on why he should do his best and win. Never in his life did he think that he’d receive some encouragement from his parents and he feels great that they’re cheering him up.

And all of a sudden his doubts disappeared… or so he thought.

It was not until their first training day in Seoul. On the first part of the training, all of the participants train together, from stretching in the glorious hours of the morning to jogging. The next part will be done individually, of course with the athlete and his trainer.

On the morning Ren felt small again, his rivals are good, no they are even great. Ren saw that the other players already know each other, they’re the competitors last year too. They’re greeting each other, mocking each other, even threatening each other, but they ignore Ren. They gave him menacing looks, like Ren’s someone not worthy to be a part of the competition or Ren is just intimidating, but they never actually talked to him. Not in the entire 4 hours of morning training. On small breaks Ren tried to approach some but when he was near they’re going away. They should’ve acted like they didn’t want to ignore him.

So the next break he just sat there looking at nothing in particular and waited for the whistle. His eyes unconsciously fell on a boy who he thought was on the same boat as him. No one approaches the boy too but he doesn’t seem to care at all. He sat there, poker-faced and maybe unconsciously playing his water bottle. Ren studied the boy then, finally having some source of entertainment from the boring and uncomfortable training. Ren found out that the boy’s the representative of Kangwondo, he’s a bit tanned, not that tall, limbs not particularly long but he has this do-not-talk-to-me aura or more like you-don’t-deserve-to-hear-my-voice feel, even his eyes aren’t moving aside from the compulsory blinking. He breathes, he blinks, his hair moves accordingly with the wind, but other than that, Ren noticed that the boy didn’t do anything.

The whistle then was blown and the last part of the early morning training started. Ren observed the silent and the-man-who-can’t-be-moved actually move and run and he can’t stop his admiration. Aside from literally flying, it looks like the boy isn’t affected by gravity and he isn’t even catching his breath. After 30 minutes of running all of the players are obviously tired, that was a long run and they’ve been running way before sunrise but the boy seemed to be cool of it, taking his water bottle and walking straight to the locker room. Ren then went to the locker roomed where he was assigned and momentarily forgot about his early source of entertainment.

The afternoon training’s a bit easier than the morning one. Ren trainer actually doesn’t force him to do strenuous activities in one go. They have it step-by-step. The trainer’s aware that Ren’s a newbie and it kind of surprised him that Ren reached this far. He knew that the kid has a lot of talent and he’s more than willing to mold him. To unleash the talent that is within him, and he wouldn’t want to waste such talent because of his aggressiveness. So he had it slowly and surely. There’s no way he’d let Ren injure because of him.

But Ren, being this competition as his first one, was eager to be better as seconds pass by. He was sure that he lacks everything, especially capability and self-confidence. And on the 2nd night he decided to jog every evening. The night is silent, the wind is cold and calm and the coast is clear. Ren is free to do whatever he likes to do, and that night he decided to feel the nature while jogging. He skips and jumps a bit every other minute or two, stopping only when he heard someone clearing his throat.

“Don’t you know that you might injure yourself while doing that?” the strange boy said with a face Ren couldn’t read. What’s there to read when the stranger had his poker face on. Actually, Ren was shocked that the boy does talk. And his voice doesn’t complement his physique. Ren admits that the boy’s intimidating but the boy’s voice doesn’t say so. His voice is a bit high-pitched and cute. “Are you even listening?”

“Huh? Again?”

“Oh, you’re the one from Busan, I see. I thought I needed to train harder when they informed me about you. Guess they’ve overestimated you Busan boy.”

“Are you, by any chance, mocking me? Excuse me but—“

“Jonghyun let’s go!” an older man, probably the strange boy whose name’s Jonghyun’s trainer, sternly said. Ren looked at the two of them silently while shivers crept on his entire body because the trainer surely looked like he’s ready to eat everyone. Ren didn’t fail to see Jonghyun jolting up upon hearing the man’s voice, too.

“Guess he’s afraid of his own trainer, too.” and his thoughts were interrupted when he heard a familiar low voice. “Minki, what are you doing here? It’s cold! Rest!” and then shivers crept on his entire body too. Guess everyone’s afraid of their trainer.

***

After the encounter with Jonghyun, the Kangwondo boy, that night, he haven’t seen or talked to him again. Ren found out from his trainer that the Kim Jonghyun who talked to him was the Kim Jonghyun who nailed the high jump competition last year. The Kim Jonghyun and a boy from Mokpo were the representatives of South Korea for the East-Asian tournament. Jonghyun was the 2nd place and Ren’s trainer heard that his team was determined to be the champion this year, so the competition’s kind of tough.

“But don’t worry Minki, I don’t force you to win. I want you to win by giving your best. You should love what you do. And then take good care of yourself.”

Ren’s thankful that no one’s actually forcing or pressuring him to win. He’s just asked to do his best, which is not hard, right? But then he still feels so small. Every now and then he feels that some are giving him unjust stares. He tried to ignore it but he feels it everyday. His only reverie was his jogging at night when all are resting. And it is really not usual for a locker room to have open lights, much an open door. Due to his curiosity, he peeked to the slit and was shocked to see Kim Jonghyun. But he isn’t the usual Jonghyun he perceives, the Jonghyun inside the locker room now was hugging his knees as if hiding inside his little cocoon. Ren wondered why he was like that but he need not to wait any longer for the answer because he heard a familiar stern voice.

“Jonghyun what is your reason for slacking? Aren’t you threatened by the other athletes? All are practicing hard! And you, what do you think are you doing?”

Ren didn’t hear Jonghyun answering, instead he saw him hiding his face deeper on his little cocoon. Ren actually thought that Jonghyun’s the rebel type, well maybe first impressions never last.

“And that, that Busan pretty boy, his so natural, so effortless, do you think you can beat him with your pace now? You are so slow! You are so weak! And don’t forget that Mokpo giant! You barely won last year because of him, and he is a year younger than you! Where’s the shame? How… What am I going to do to you Jonghyun?”

“Abeonim*—“

Just when Jonghyun rose his head up he made an eye-to-eye contact with Ren, which made Ren stumble and which made Jonghyun’s father stop yelling more words, words Ren thinks that Jonghyun should not believe.

“Who’s that?!” Ren heard Jonghyun’s trainer-slash-father yell.

Ren wasted no time dazing there, he crawled and immediately ran without looking back. So Jonghyun’s trainer’s his own father? But why is he forcing Jonghyun to do better? What is better when I am taken aback by Jonghyun’s capabilities? And how was I a threat? How is everyone a threat? Why doesn’t Jonghyun answer back when he had the nerve to mock me last week?

Because of the incident Ren wasn’t able to sleep well that night. And he was sure that the next day won’t be the same again. The moment he set foot on the training field he saw Jonghyun on his usual spot. Ren decided to just sit on a different bench but Jonghyun seemed to notice that Ren’s going to ignore him so he immediately followed the Busan boy.

Ren made no attempt of talking to Jonghyun, he tried to show that he wasn’t affected by what he saw and heard last night. But why did I ignore him if I am acting like I don’t care. And then Ren knew he screwed up. He stopped skipping and then he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around and saw that it was, indeed, Jonghyun.

“H-hello Jj-Jonghyun-sshi! Good morning!” Ren stuttered, and he surely felt stupid for doing so.

“About last night, Busan boy—“

“Minki.”

“Huh?”

“Stop calling me Busan boy, I’m Minki.”

“Okay whatever. Just, forget about it. Pretend you didn’t hear anything. And don’t be too happy that my father sees you as a threat. In all honesty I don’t. I know I’m the best and I’ll surely win this. You, or that Mokpo giant, or anybody else, doesn’t worry even an inch of me. By the looks of your abilities you are all, how should I say this, you need more practice to beat me. You’ll see how high I can jump later and maybe you’d want to start worrying about your place in this competition.”

Ren listened to everything Jonghyun had said. He tried to show Jonghyun that he was afraid but he felt not a bit of strength in Jonghyun’s sudden threatening. Jonghyun was afraid too, maybe of the Mokpo giant, maybe of him, but definitely he’s afraid of his own father. Ren didn’t feel warmth from his parents not until recently but he never felt so small in front of them too. On the other hand, Jonghyun was belittled by his own father. He thought he was the most unfortunate boy in the whole world before, not until he witnessed what happened between Jonghyun and his father. All of a sudden he wanted to talk to Jonghyun, to befriend him, to make everything better. But he couldn’t, not when Jonghyun built a strong wall around him, a wall Ren doesn’t know how to break.

“Minki, you need to do stretching now. And condition yourself, we’ll have a preliminaries later.” Ren’s coach said. By the word preliminaries Ren began to shake.

“! Coach, today is the preliminary? !” Ren shouted, panic obviously seen on his face.

“Yes Ren, don’t tell me you forgot? Woah, Earth to Ren? Don’t worry, it’ll be okay, you’re too much ready for this.”

“NO! I am not ready!! I didn’t even sleep last night! What the!”

Ren’s coach held the boy’s shoulders and lightly massaged it, a way to calm Ren down. “Everything will be okay. Ren, you certainly don’t know how great you are, don’t you? You can do this! You can even win this one. I am not pressuring you though. Do what you can do. Do what you think is the best.”

Ren did forgot about the preliminaries but his coach did a good job calming him down.

“Well, I guess I have no choice but to do my best, right?”

*Abeonim – Father, a more formal way of calling a/your father.

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Sorry for not updating soon. T^T But yeah, here it is. And I'm serious that I won't leave this fic unfinished.

This is unbeta-ed. Hehehehehe.

And NU'EST had their comeback. Let's support them okay?! Watch Hello on their official channel pledisnuest. Buy their album (be sure it is counted on Hanteo please) and vote for them in polls. We can do this. Sorry for instructing/asking/pressuring you. T_______________T

nowplaying: Promise You - Super Junior K.R.Y.