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Luhan is worried about his bandmate Zhang Yixing, or Lay as his stagename is. Yixing is always quiet and closed in, he never shows his real feelings and on talk shows he’s always faking a smile to not worry the fans. But when Luhan takes a deep look into Yixing’s dark eyes there is something sad, and the eyes is the mirror of the soul and heart right?

Yixing is known for being hardworking and even though he has a waist injury he is always giving 100% on stage. In every show EXO-M appears in Yixing always tells how much he loves to dance and be on stage and Luhan notices it as well; since it’s only on stage Luhan see his friend being happy.

Yixing is the one who stays the longest at their practice room. He always arrives first to the practice room first in the morning and he leaves it last in the evening and when he comes back he is so exhausted he doesn’t have time to watch TV with the members and he falls asleep instead.

Another thing that upsets Luhan is that none of the other members seems to notice this. Luhan tried to tell Kris about it before but Kris only shrugged and told Luhan that it was just his imagination.

“That’s the way Yixing is” Kris always said to Luhan whenever he told him that he was worried about Yixing.

Which is also true; Yixing is living in his own little world and he is always caught in deep thoughts. But Luhan believes, no Luhan knows, that whatever Yixing is thinking about its bringing him down.

Right now, while EXO-M is travelling in their car on the way back to their dorm from an interview on TV. Luhan sat in the backseat with Yixing and Minseok. Minseok was in the middle with Luhan on the left and Yixing on the right. Luhan and Minseok shared on chips while Yixing stared out of the window into the dark Beijing with his earphones plugged in.

Luhan took a look at Yixing over Minseok; Yixing’s sad face was being reflected in the window and Luhan bit his lip in empathy. He wanted to share the pain his best friend was feeling.

“We should ask Yixing if he wants some chips” Luhan said and Minseok nodded.

Minseok tapped Yixing on his shoulder and Yixing turned around. His expression had changed from sad to expressionless but his eyes told Luhan that he was holding it in.

Yixing pulled out one of the earphones so he would hear what his friends wanted to say to him. Minseok showed Yixing the chips-bag and Yixing looked at it like he didn’t understand what he was supposed to do with the bag.

“Want some?” Luhan asked but Yixing only shook his head.

“I’m fine without it, thanks” Yixing said but it was almost like a whisper and Luhan barley heard what he was saying.

Luhan pouted disappointed at Yixing but he didn’t notice the pout; instead he put the earphone back into his ear and continued to stare out from the window.

Minseok just shrugged at Luhan; he didn’t notice the odd behavior of Yixing. But for Luhan; it was so obvious that something was wrong with Yixing and Luhan wondered why no one else paid attention to it.

♥~♥~♥

When EXO-M arrived to the dorm all members removed their shoes and jackets they wore. They also put their bags in the living room and sat down in a circle on the floor and began to read all fan mail and the other gifts the fans had given to them.

All members except for Yixing, he went straight to the room he shared with Luhan and closed the door behind, which is really weird since Yixing really treasures his fans. Luhan has never seen anyone that cares about his fans this much. Not even his hyungs in TVXQ or Super Junior acts like Yixing towards their fans. Yixing truly loves them and he treasures every single fan mail or gift from the fans, he is the only one who takes the time to read them all. Luhan and the others don’t have the time to read all so they only read a few of them but Yixing could read the letters to him through the whole night if he had to.

“Where’s Yixing?” Kris asked after fifteen minutes of reading fan mail and unwrapping gifts. Luhan rolled his eyes and thought about that Kris really should see what was going on.

Luhan nodded towards the closed door to his and Yixing’s room and gave Kris a serious look.

“Are you going to start nagging about Yixing being depressed again?” Kris asked while he let a deep sigh slip out from his mouth.

“I know that something is wrong!” Luhan said and he said it a little bit too loud than it was meant to be.

Everyone else took a deep breath in, no one ever dared to raise their voice at Leader Kris but Luhan now did and it was weird for most of them.

“You don’t have any proof at it! Yixing has always been like that” Kris yelled back at Luhan.

“Not while we were trainees, you should know that since you have known him the longest” Luhan pointed out. Kris, who really hates it when someone is pointing out is flaws, was now furious and took a deep breath to yell back at Luhan when someone stopped him.

“Stop it!”

It was Yixing who was standing there in the living room with both his hands raised in the air. Both Luhan and Kris looked into the floor, they were really embarrassed that Yixing had caught them fighting over him.

“What is this about?” Yixing asked and walked into the living room.

He took a seat next to Minseok and looked at the oldest member who just swallowed nervously at him.

“Will someone tell me? Zitao? Jongdae?” Yixing asked the two youngest members of the group, who actually looked really uncomfortable in the situation.

“Luhan hyung thinks that you have some kind of depression or something and he is really worried but Leader Kris hyung wants to believe that if you had some kind of problem you would tell us and that you like being alone” Jongdae explained to Yixing.

Yixing covered his face with his hands and let them go from his face to his hair.

“I’m flattered that you care about me Luhan, but I’m not depressed. I’m composing songs on my computer. That’s all” Yixing explained but Luhan still believed that he was lying to them but he didn’t say anything. He just bit his lips and nodded at Yixing.

“That makes me happy to hear” Luhan said.

Yixing smiled towards them but Luhan thought that the smile looked faked and he wasn’t convinced at all that Yixing was fine.

“Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going back to compose some more songs” Yixing said and stood up. With slow and heavy steps he walked back to the room and closed the door behind him.

“Is his waist hurting?” Luhan asked after he had noticed how painful his walking seemed to be.

“Don’t ask us, you’re the one that is closest to him” Minseok said.

“Don’t worry so much about Yixing, he said he was fine” Kris warned Luhan.

♥~♥~♥

The boys prepared together in the kitchen, but Yixing didn’t come when they called for him that the dinner was ready.

“I’ll go tell Yixing that the dinner is served” Luhan said and opened the door to their room. The first thing he noticed was Yixing lying in the bed, just staring up in the roof, still listening to music. He wasn’t composing at all!

“Y-Yixing?” Luhan said and Yixing hurried to sit up and looked confused at Luhan.

“The dinner is ready” Luhan filled in and Yixing looked down.

“I’m not hungry” Yixing said.

Luhan’s heart skipped one beat, this was just like he had imagined. Yixing wasn’t feeling well.

“Are you sure? Its noodles and chicken” Luhan tried once again but Yixing nodded at him. Luhan went back to the kitchen and he felt like he had a big stone in his stomach, this wasn’t good.

The five members finished the dinner but Yixing didn’t come, Luhan didn’t like this feeling. Yixing never skipped one meal, but still did the members refuse to notice that something was wrong.

When the other members began to clean the table Luhan grabbed Yixing’s empty plate and placed one piece of chicken and noodles on the plate. He also grabbed a glass and filled it with coke and walked into the room once again.

“Here, eat it here” Luhan ordered Yixing and placed a pair of chopsticks in the younger male’s right hand. 

Yixing didn’t look at Luhan at all; his attention was drawn to the chicken. Yixing took one piece of the chicken and put it into his mouth.

“We’re currently on Skype with EXO-K; would you like to say ‘Hi’ to them?”  Luhan asked concerned but Yixing only shook his head.

“Tell them I said ‘Hi’, hyung” Yixing begged Luhan and Luhan understood. Maybe Yixing wasn’t in the mood to see their other halves and it just made him even more worried.

“Well, I thought that you wanted to talk to Joonmyeon. I know that I want to see Sehun really badly.” Luhan acted stubborn and tried to get Yixing to come out with them.

Yixing shrugged and gave Luhan a look which Luhan took as Yixing wanted him to leave so Luhan did what he was told.

Joonmyeon did, as expected, ask a lot of questions about Yixing but they said that he was busy with composing songs. Just like Yixing told them that he did and he didn’t give them a reason to doubt them, no other reason than his sad eyes.

♥~♥~♥

On the night, while Luhan was sleeping was Yixing still awake. He thought about everything that had happened today. The interview and the performance, but also that he was starting to being closed in again. He didn’t use to be like that, when they made debut and a long time before their debut he was the funny one in the group. He always was joking with the other members and he was really close to Luhan.

Luhan was still taking care of Yixing and Yixing felt honored that Luhan wanted to help him, but Yixing also felt guilty that he didn’t tell Luhan about his problem and instead started to ignore them. 

Suddenly, without even thinking about what to do Yixing stood up and walked over to Luhan’s bed and sat down in the bed next to Luhan’s sleeping body.

“Luhan…” Yixing whispered, and prepared to being pushed out from the bed when Luhan woke up.

“Hmm?” Luhan said and Yixing wasn’t sure if he was still asleep or awake. ¨

“Are you awake? I would like to apologize to you” Yixing said with a shaking voice and a pounding heart, Yixing never actually told anyone about his deepest problems and that’s why he felt so nervous about it this time.

Luhan sat up in the bed and rubbed his eyes.

“Apologize for what?” Luhan asked.

“That I lied to you earlier today. But I just didn’t want to worry you. I’m actually not fine, there is a few things I’ve been thinking about a lot lately and I just don’t know what to do” Yixing explained.

Luhan got curious, this wasn’t what he expected but he was happy that Yixing wanted to tell him about it.

“Tell me, please. I want to be there for you but I can’t if you don’t tell me” Luhan said.

“I miss home a lot. And it’s not that I’m homesick but I got a phone call from my parents a few days ago and they told me about my mother. She is sick and she has to undergo a surgery but it’s 50/50 chance that she will survive it” Yixing explained and he felt that the tears he tried to hold back was pushing stronger than he could resist and suddenly one tear fell down on his cheek.

Luhan brushed away the tear with his thumb.

“I want to… be able to…” Yixing said and began to sob lightly.

“Say good-bye to her but my schedule won’t allow me to visit them” Yixing continued and tears were now flowing down from his cheeks. It was almost like he was crying the Han River.

Luhan didn’t say anything; he just nodded understanding at Yixing as he brushed away the tears as they kept on falling.

“I feel so lonely without my mother, even though I’m surrounded by you guys all I can do is thinking about her. I feel so lonely so I dance to not feel lonely anymore. But then I notice that I’m pushing you guys away from me and that you will create your own bonds without me and that I will become an outsider of the group, but I don’t know how to get in there anymore so I just accept the fact that all jokes around the dinner table will be jokes about stuff that happened while I was inside my room or in the practice room. It's like the loneliness is shaking me up.” Yixing said and Luhan was shocked.

Luhan could never have imagined that’s how Yixing felt. Even though he knew it was something Yixing was worrying about he could never understand that it was this.

“You know, we would never create bonds without you, we worry about you and I know that Joonmyeon also is worried in Korea. I just find it weird that the others didn’t see that something was wrong. I mean even Sehun noticed it the last time he met you” Luhan said and patted Yixing on his head lightly, just a thing for cheering up Luhan’s mother always did to Luhan when Luhan was sad.

“Maybe they saw but didn’t want to realize, you live with me all the time and it would be weird if you didn’t see anything” Yixing said and dried his last tear.

“Hyung… are you mad at me?” Yixing suddenly asked and Luhan froze, Luhan could never be mad at Yixing and the thought that Yixing knew that.

“No, you stupid Unicorn I’m not mad at you at all!” Luhan said and gave Yixing a light hug. “I have just been really worried that you’re not feeling well and I want to do everything to make you feel better. You’re my best friend you know?”

Yixing looked at Luhan with widened eyes; he could never have imagined Luhan to call Yixing his best friend. Yixing had always thought it was Sehun or Minseok or maybe even Jongin, he thought he knew for sure that it wasn’t him.

“Me? Not Minseok hyung or Sehun?” Yixing asked surprised but Luhan only shook his head.

“I have always considered you being my best friend. You’re the only one I can talk to when I’m feeling sad and you will always have me there for you if you need it.” Luhan said and bit his lip; he wondered what the shocked Yixing would answer to that.

“I don’t open up easy to other people. But I will always do that for you” Yixing said after a long silence.

“I will always be there for you” Luhan told Yixing with a smile and Yixing smiled back at him. It was the first time in a long time Yixing smiled at anyone and it made Luhan happy to see Yixing’s smile once again.

♥~♥~♥

The following day when EXO-M had finished their schedule and the six boys had returned to the dorm Minseok suggested them to play Mario Kart and Kris, Luhan, Jongdae and Tao said ‘Yes’ in a union but Yixing was just standing there and smiled at his bandmates.

Luhan turned around to Yixing.

“Do you want to join us?” Luhan asked Yixing and the twenty-one year old nodded.

“Sure, why not?” Yixing said.

“But Baby Mario is my character!” Minseok hurried to say and the others laughed at the oldest comment.

Afterwards, everyone sat down in the couch with a remote in their hands. Before the game started Luhan smiled towards Yixing, who smiled back. No one knew why Yixing suddenly changed his mood, no one except Luhan and Yixing himself.

And they decided that they would keep it a secret.

♥The End♥