*New character added: Boa

She's calling out, into the crowd. Regret shall plague us all.

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I would've never thought the wolves were actual werewolves until Krystal Jung died. I was a junior at the time and so was she. She was the talk of the town as much as she was alive to as much as when she had died. A sample would be people wondering what new wardrobe she acquired over a brief weekend. Or gushing about her new and overly priced car she rolled up in at the school parking lot that was more expensive than even the principal and vice principals cars put together. She was actually kind of a really. But when she was killed she was put into a completely different light. Instant sainthood. She was portrayed as nothing but a do-gooder when really it was people trying to un-dirty her name because they suddenly started to care. From rumors I heard her death had been gruesome. She had been mauled, mutilated, and partially eaten. It didn't help to know she was apparently found and also half frozen because it was in the middle of winter at ten degrees fahrenheit. The only image it all produced was just a helpless dead girl laying curled into a fetal position surrounded by dirty, bloody snow. It was partially a shame also. As all the she was she was very beautiful. It felt like a waste.

My mom never watched the news and my dad was barely even home. Sometimes i'm not even sure if he showed up for more than two days. but because of that my incident blew over. Gone with the wind. My parents replaced my incident with the distraction of work, overdosing on coffee, and my mom's personal favorite reading the outrageous romance novels one finds in the not so child friendly part of barnes & nobles. Not like my parents, ya know, decided to channel all the anxiety into spending some quality time with their daughter or anything. My mom though instead her anxiety caused her to be more of a scatter brain than usual. But krystal's incident was a constant and fresh reminder. I could only imagine her family. Her father was mayor of this small little town so her family was in a way naturally self composed. No hysterical mom crying on television or even at the wake which I attended along with six hundred and twenty one other people. Now krystal's death turned her older sister Jessica even more sour than she was to begin with. She was also a but on another level to where she made krystal look like and angel. But within the week i'd probably have heard thousands of versions of the story now. The catch? Everyone was terrified of the wolves now. Go figure right?

I watched as my mom demolished the mushrooms she was cutting up while anxiously glancing up at the tv displaying the news here and there. The subject for tonight? Wolves again. I noticed she would occasionally glance at me guiltily then go back to demolishing a new mushroom.

"Would you like me to lend a hand mom?"

set into a thin line. "I was so close to where they found him." she whispered barely audible.

I probably would've figured it out as she pointed to the tv with the knife now going to check on the rice cooker. She's at it again. When she turned her back to me I over exagerratedly rolled my eyes as she went on and on about where she was killed at the east end of Janggu woods. Or died....

She turned and frowned at me holding a bowl of steaming rice the clouded in front of her beautiful and delicate face. You know as usual.

I looked sideways at my homework sitting on the living room coffee table contemplating whether to attempt to actually do it. But I knew the lines of chemical equations and formulas waiting to be balanced with just make me more uncomfortable. "He could've just passe dout by the woods then dragged in."

"they killed him Ji eun." She shook her head at me.

"but they are peaceful creatures."

this was what my mom always told me for years even after my somewhat traumatic event. I look out past the kitchen window to the forest beyond. The trees like wraiths against the dark. I think the only way my mom could stan to live here was to keep convincing herself they were harmless and insisting the attack was and accident. That or realestate was just up way too high. But i was never sure whether she thought they were peaceful or not. I've watched the wolves every year. Studying their faces and personalities and how they interacted with each other. There was one sickly looking wolf that hung towards the back of the pack. His scarggly coat and runny eyes screamed asick soul and the dull whites of his eyes spoke of a diseased mind. All of it. Down to his dull grey coat. I saw a white she wolf as well. Her coat was as pure as first snowfall, but striking enough to look like holy fire amongst the trees. She had a wild, fierce, savage beauty about her. I remember once seeing her go up to hulking back wolf as she nosed his muzzle. Whenever she did that they would always head back into the trees. I hear wolves mate for life. But the rest of them? They were all like stark beautiful ghosts of the winter and Janggu woods. I wasn't afraid of them.

My mom snapped me out of my reverie as she hacked at the cutting board again. Right mom, peaceful....

I frowned in the direction of my homework again. The months without my wolf were bad enough, even as a kid the warm months stretched on for an unbearably long time. I'd always imagined adventures with me and my golden eyed wolf in a sunny wood where it never snowed and we could be together forever. I knew that place never existed or that would ever happen but at least my golden eyed wolf did. I sighed and joined my mom by the cutting board. "Ugh mom let me do it you're just messing it up." she didn't object as I took the knife from her and made a face, but smiled at me and sashayed, whirling out the kitchen. "Thanks sweetie I'll be in the library upstairs." she called back at me.

My mom was constantly nose deep in books and neverendingly absent minded. She was like my friend's mom, Apron wearing, vacuuming, baking pies, betty crocker. I didn't want her to be that way but I really would like to finish my Chemistry homework. And her little 'Thanks sweetie I'll be in the library upstairs.' quote would've been one of her prerecorded sayings had she been a 'say anything if you push my bellybutton' doll.

I shoved the mutilated mushrooms into a bowl and glimpsed at the clock. Hmm an hour and a half before dad comes. I might be able to finish cooking dinner and maybe just maybe catch a look at the pack. I opened the fridge and found some cut of beef that was probably made to be cut up for dinner and tossed with the mangled mushrooms, so i pulled it out and slapped it on the cutting board. In the background I could hear the news anchor ask whether the wolf population should be controlled or moved. Alright.....now my mood was pretty sour.

The phone rang. "Yobosaeyo?"

"Ji eun! what's up?"

Tiffany. It was good to here her voice over the news anchor's drabble. She was the opposite of my mother completely. Totally focused, organized, and neat in every aspect. She made me feel more human honestly.

I shoved the phone between my ear and my shoulder and chopped the beef as I talked, saving a piece the size of my fist for later. "Nothing just making dinner and watching the stupid news."

"I knoooow. Too surreal right? It's so annoying and pretty gross. Why can't they just shut up and let us all move on? Get over it ya know? I mean it's bad enough hearing all the crap at school plus with you and the wolves it must be bothering you and jack's parents have GOT to be annoyed with all the reporters." Tiffany was babbling so fast I could barely understand what she was saying. I missed a bit in the middle until she asked, "Has Yoon ji called yet?"

Yoon ji was the third in our trio. She was probably the only one who understood my infatuation with the wolves. It was very rare for me not to talk to Tiffany or Yoon ji by phone.

"Maybe she's out shooting photos. Isn't there a meteor shower tonight?"

Yoon ji saw the world through her camera. Half my high school memories were etched in polaroids.

"Yeah you're probably right, she'd want some of that hot asteriod action. But got a moment to talk?"

I glanced at the clock.

"Um, yea a bit while I'm finishing up dinner. I gotta finish my homework."

"alright well two words honey try them out.....es....cape."

I paused a beat. "Tiff that's one word." I could hear her shrug through the phone.

"Yea well it sounded way better in my mind. But anyways here's the thing My parents said if I wanted to go somewhere over christmas break I could go somewhere. And I DO want to go somewhere. Somewhere not Daejeon, GAWD ANYTHING BUT DAEJEON!" I winced away from the phone as she yelled. "Can you guys come over after school and help me pick a place. Heck maybe even my parents could let you two accompany me! What do ya say?"

I paused again. Christmas evoked memories of the scented overly decorated christmas tree and the glowing eyes of the wolves as they stared out at me through the woods. I always had my wolf for Christmas.

Tiffany groaned.

"Ji eun pleeeease dont do that dreamy staring off into the distance thing! I can tell you're doing it! If you don't all you have to do is say no."

"I didn't say no I didn't agree either."

"but you weren't all oh mi god yes! either! thats what you were supposed to say!" I rolled my eyes at the way she impersonated me with a voice higher than hers. Tiffany sighed. "You'll at least come over tomorrow won't ya?"

I smiled. "Always. You know I always will."

"Great!" she squealed. "Oh yea and bring cookies, you know the pretty ones with the little sprinkles!"

"yeah yeah yeah. Tiff I gotta go."

"Whateves." She giggled. "Love ya! don't forget! Anneyong!"

She laughed and hung up.

I hurried to get the pot simmering on the stove so it could occupy itself without me. I threw in a couple of pre-peeled potatoes then dashed, grabbing my coat from the hooks on the wall by the door, then I pulled open the sliding door to the back deck.

Cold air nipped my cheeks and at the tops of my ears, reminding me that summer was way over. I pulled out my stocking cap then stuffed it back in my coat pocket, I knew my wolf didnt always recognize me when I was wearing it. I stepped off the deck trying to look as nonchalant as possible. The piece of meat in my left hand felt cold and slimy. As I walked to the middle of the yard the semi dead brittle grass crunched under foot. I stopped in the middle of the yard and sighed, my breath becoming visible in front of me. I looked around and up, dazzled by the countless stars tonight littering the night sky. They were almost violent as if more appeared they were trying to fight for space on the universe. The stark landscape was like a whole different world outside of our small cozy kitchen. It smelled of mother nature and survival. This was where I belonged.

However the trees called to me, urging me to disown what I knew and vanish into the uncaged night.
The darkness at the edge of the wood shifted, and I saw my wolf standing beside a tree, nostrils sniffing toward the meat in my hand. My relief seeing him was interrupted as he shifted his head, letting the yellow light from the sliding door fall across his face. I could see now that his chin was crusted with old, dried blood. Dried down to a brown. A couple days old. But then I focused back on his eyes.

His nostrils twitched, he could smell the beef in my hand. Either the beef or the familiarity of my presence was enough to lure him a few steps out of Janggu wood. Then a few more. Closer than he has ever been before. I faced him close enough to caress his muzzle, his brilliant fur, or the dried blood on his chin. I really wanted the blood to be his, from a cut from an earlier scruffle. But it looked like someone else's.

"Did you kill him?" I whispered.

His eyes were on me, my face, instead of the piece of meat in my hand. He didn't run away from the sound of my voice as I thought he would. He just kept watching me. His gold eyes boring into me.

"It's all they talk about on the news." I whispered to him. "They said it was savage. That a wild animal had done it. Did you do it?"

He stared at me longer unwaivering. And for the first time he closed his eyes as if relishing a dark thought. It was unnatural. An uncanny ability of an unblinking gaze. It was like he was frozen an the human emotion of unbelievable grief. His eyes closed, tail and head lowered. It was heartbreaking. The saddest thing i've ever seen.

I dropped the meat beside me and he flinched but didn't look up. I moved slowly, not scared of his bloody muzzle or the sharp canines that hid under them but I didn't want to scare him away. I placed one hand on his head feeling his fur which was much softer that it looked and he groaned leaning into my hand. I shifted and hugged him around his neck like a family dog. He was bulking especially with the excess fur but his wild earthy smell would remind me of what he was. For a moment i forgot who and where I was until a flash from my periphgeral vision caught my attention. Though it was night I could see the white she wolf emerge from the edge of the wood, watching. Her eyes burned. Ifelt a rumble vibrate against me and realize dit was my wolf growling at her. He twist around to face her and I flinched as his teeth snapped at her.

Unlike my wolf she neared closer, she didn't growl. Somehow that was more terrifying. A wolf should growl but she remained impassive yet her body radiated heat as well as her burning eyes. She just stared, eyes flicking from him to me.

My wolf pushed up against me forcing me to step back and he kept doing it guiding me back to the deck. My feet found the steps and I retreated to the sliding door. He remained at the bottom of the stairs until I pushed the door open and locked myself inside the house. As soon as I was inside the white wolf snapped then darted forward snatching up the meat I left on the ground slowly retreating backwards into the trees eyes still on me like a spirit.

My wolf hesitated at the edge of the trees, he looked back at me, the light catching his eyes as he watched my silhouette. I pressed my hands against the frigid glass and felt as though the distance between us had never felt to wide.

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Troublemaker

Aff_x_tion

2-3-13

12:02PM