Chapter 1: PART THREE (last part) Sorry it's so long T~T
6. When writing with dialogue, I noticed that you usually start the sentence with dialogue then end with narration or have narration in the center. EX --> "Hi! I'm the new student!" the boy waved eagerly. (Or) "Hi!" the boy waved eagerly, "I'm the new student. (I'm just reminding you that you can start with the narration first to play it up a little [I've noticed you do this a few times ;) good job <3]) ---> The boy waved eagerly, "Hi! I'm the new student!"
7. You worried about the chopsticks vs forks. LOL people don't mind either one. No one will really care about what Korean's actually use (write whatever you feel comfortable with ^^)
8. I've noticed that you use some words a lot. Like you will use the word 'quickly' in one sentence, then again in the next sentence (this isn't bad, but it'll flow less). Switch it up by using a thesaurus or changing the sentence a bit --> She ran to his side quickly (changed to ->) She ran to his side as fast as she could (Or) She dashed to his side.
9. You use Kevin and Eli's names a lot (this bugs some people) You can change it up by changing the words. Example --> Jonghyun ran up to Key's side and smiled in greeting. Key smiled back at Jonghyun. (changed to ->) Jognhyun ran up to the diva and smiled in greeting. Key returned the older boy's smile.
10. I loved your humour (I laughed when the mother threatened to adopt Kevin) LOL!
Very good! I liked it :D! Again, I don't know why you wanted a reiew, it was very good ^^ sorry for this long review <3 haha

Chapter 1: PART TWO of the review!
3. In the scene where you had Eli leave the room to get snacks, Kevin started to sing. The reason you had Eli leave the room was so that he would return and catch Kevin singing, right? Well you said you were unsure about the whole paragraph where Eli is getting the snacks because you claim you rambled on. Most people wouldn't notice, but it is a bit boring (more for you to type out than it is for the readers to read) but like I said, most readers won't notice. If you feel that there was a better way to do it, you could have simply reworded it a bit (ex. Eli leaves, Kevin gets bored and inspects Eli's room a bit before starting to do the work. As he works he unconsciously sings. Then you switch to Eli whos returning with the snacks and then he walks in on Kevin singing. This way the readers would have gotten to know Eli's room more and could have possibly learned something about Eli. That way you wouldn't have to worry about the readers getting bored over the snack scene. You could say 'Eli returned with Strawberry lemanade and popcorn on a tray' if you wanted people to know specifics.)
4. A lot of people dislike when emoticons are used ---> O.O (this guy) but if you're not in it for upvotes, and/or use it rarely, it's fine (in authors notes, or when a character recieves a text message is also fine)
5. When linking an image, instead of pasting the link, high-light the words, then click the add link option. The word will be automatically bolded and colour changed to show that it's been linked (ex. highlight the words 'hello kitty pjs' in your story, then click 'add link'. Once your done, it'll automatically take you to where the link indicates when you click it. That way you won't need a full link in the middle of the story. OR you could source it which I'll explain if you want ^^ (you probably know all of this by now anyways ^^' (Part 3 is next)

Chapter 1: This is PART ONE of the review for chapter 1!! ^^ Hey! I FINALLY have gotten around to do this review thingy!! Haha and I must ask why you think you need a review? This story (chapter/ oneshot) was very well done. I think you should just jump right into writing chaptered fics because I would have liked for a longer version of this ;P Okay and so I will begin!
Oh, I was wondering if you were writing, wanting to be acknowledged and gain upvotes or if you're just writing because you wanted to share a story. If you just wanted to share a story, then what you have now is marvelous (I loved it, really <3) but to get upvotes there are somethings that could be changed to help.
1. since this is a FF and you're just writing as a hobby there are things that don't necessarily need to be changed. For example sometimes I saw you put 'off' instead of 'of', or you forgot a word in asentence, or putting more dots (....) than needed, but those things don't matter in Fanfics and most people reading won't even notice them. So that's perfectly fine since this is a fanfic, but in real books (since its a proffession) it would not be accepted too greatly. (I make mistakes like that ALL the time xD It's super normal unless you have a professional editor)
2. You leave author's notes throughout the story in brackets -> (hey guys ^^) which does bother some people, but like I said, if you're just sharing a story and are not aiming for upvotes than use these as much as you want. However, most people will simply put the author's note at the end of the chapter (there's other ways to do author notes as well but I'll only explain it if you really want to know) Part Two is coming up ;P (I just blab on and on >.<)

Chapter 4: Omg this is just to adorable lol. AND AWW MYungsoo SO KIND lol. What a gentlymen for sungjong haha. AND HE'LL YEAH IM JELLY THAT U HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON WITH SUNGJONG LOL. I really love ur plot lol it's so smart lol. And Oh no that b**** better not touch sungjong because I will kick there pretty little a** if I have to. Yeah bring it on. Don't mess with my favorite OTP. Or dieeee and suffer mwah hahahahahha. And haha it's ok that u made it late. I don mind hehe as long as u made it I'm happy haha. Thank you so much lol. I love Myungjong lol. Goodluck on ur other stories haha. And haha I'm a Woogyu and a yadong too lol. And yes they are too rated M for the Myungjong couple haha

Chapter 3: This was not bad it was cute and jongkey with a baby taemin

Chapter 2: you should write one about jongkey! like omg! jonghyun could be on a date with kibum and then they get into a little fight and minho tries to seduce key while key ignored jonghyun but taemin got jealous that HIS umma hasn't been paying as much attention to him): and taemin secretly likes key and has been trying to get rid of jonghyun and minho. and key goes to onew to seek comfort but then he finds out onew has a thing with luna and he tries to set them up! but in this process he finds himself feeling lonely and he talks to taeminnie about it and taemin was overjoyed that his umma has chose him over minho and onew but jonghyun has secretly been watching key amd everything he does cause he's sorry and he wants him back and he wants to tell him that minho and taemin were throwing themselves at him but he couldn't cause minho was a good friend of key's and taemin was out of the question... key's wicked protective of his baby. so jonghyun secretly plans to win key over.