It was been a month since Myungsoo suddenly disappeared without a single word and any proper reason. He didn’t answer Sunggyu’s phone, didn’t text back, can’t found anywhere, and didn’t come to lecture. Sunggyu had been tried to reach him―and still tried―but it never brought any good one. He had no idea why on earth his friend couldn’t be found anywhere. And the fact it just drove him nuts.

Sunggyu hate it when he entered the lecture room and there was just no sign of Myungsoo. He hate it when he ate lunch at café―he and Myungsoo used to come by―and realized that Myungsoo wasn’t there. He hate it when he can’t saw those deep eyes of Myungsoo. He hate it when he can’t taste that kissable lips. And he hate it that he missed Myungsoo so badly.

---

After the lecture end, he decided to go straight to Myungsoo’s flat. Who knew he may be there? And here he was. In front of Myungsoo’s flat. With the dark sky―signing it will rain soon― it adding the dark aura that came out from Myungsoo’s flat.

He hesitated whether or no he should knock the door when suddenly the door banged open and there was Myungsoo, stood up with his deep and damn cold eye stare.

Sunggyu felt something strange from the way his eyes staring at him. But he just couldn’t tell what was wrong.

“What do you want?” Myungsoo asked barely with the coldest tone. Eyes still glued on Sunggyu’s.

“May I come in first?” and Sunggyu answered as soft as he can.

Myungsoo let Sunggyu in and they sat on the sofa in the corner of the room.

Myungsoo stayed in his position which he bend his legs and hugging them, chin rested on his knee, eyes staring nowhere. While Sunggyu with his hand put on his thigh, clenched, and lips went open-close-open-close as he want to say something but he pull it back. Every now and then he would take a glance at Myungsoo―just in case.

Neither of them said a word. Silence engulfing them for some minutes. The only sound can be heard was just sound of the raindrops and slight thunder roaring beyond.

“Hey,” Sunggyu gave up and cracked a voice with a little hesitation. “what’s wrong with you? You seem like avoiding me lately, you know. ”

“Nope, I just don’t feel to talk or meet with you.”  He said with the same tone before.

“You mad at me? Why?” Sunggyu asked. Myungsoo didn’t answer. “You know the past month were terrible for me to not able to see you, hold you, talk with you, kissed you, embrace you, have a lunch with you, play a guitar with you, laugh with you, have a walk with our hands linked together,” Sunggyu paused to catch his breath―because he barely talked without even give a time to catch breath. “I miss you.”

Myungsoo still kept his mouth shut as he began to stand up and went near the window, got a nice look at the raindrops.

“You miss me, huh?” he said with a little chuckle.

“You heard that. Don’t you miss me?” Sunggyu seemed calm. He tried to control himself as he won’t fall into rage.

“You know I do.” His voice became softer than before―not the cold one. “Tell me something, Sunggyu. What do you feel towards me?”

“Well, you know, I like being with you, I enjoyed kissing with you, I felt safe when I’m with you, and as long as you with me, I’m happy.” Sunggyu answer lightly, thought that it was an easy question.

There was a gap of silence when finally Myungsoo sighed and began to talk again.

“Just…like? Enjoyed?” He said in a trembling voice. There was sort of disappointment in the way he talk.

Like a slap on Sunggyu’s face, he realized that he put the wrong words on the way he talked before.

“Y-you got that wrong, okay. That’s not what I was trying to say, I just―”

“What do you think I mean to you? Your doll? So all this time we spend together, that was nothing more than like and enjoy? ” He turned back and facing Sunggyu with his teary eyes. “I told you how much I love you, and I mean it! I really mean it! Don’t you realize that much?”

“Hey I―”

“And now you said that you just like being with me, enjoyed every kisses we shared without any intention of having some deeper feeling?! You’ve never told me that you love me, but you act like you have this mutual feeling and that all got me wrong. On the other side I DO always said that thing hundred times until I get tired of it. Don’t you know that’s evidently hurt me?! That’s why I mad at you! You kind of jerk!”

Myungsoo ran out of his flat through the rain, leaving Sunggyu speechless. Sunggyu hurriedly ran over to catch him. Neither of them cared about they’ll got cold or something.

Both of them stopped at the small alley, drenched in water, panting.

Sunggyu approached Myungsoo and held his hand. Eyes stare directly at his, but Myungsoo refused to have an eye contact.

“I can make it clear, okay. So look at me!” He said with that comforting tone. “So, you got mad at me because you thought I just jerking around with you―with those kiss and things?”

“Well, I mean I just wanted to know how much I mean to you, what kind of feeling you have towards me. Because it’s been bothering me that I have to assume whether you just like me―well, using me― or you sincerely love me.” He said in a husky voice. “I thought that you would realize it and gave me a good certainty. But by the time you came to me, instead of said what I want to hear  you said something I hate to hear―though I was expect that kind of something. You’re damn confusing!” Myungsoo started to softened.

Sunggyu kept silent but smiling and let out a light sigh.

“You idiot! Why on earth you can think that way? Such a girl!” he said as he cupped Myungsoo’s wet cheeks. “I’m sorry if you got me wrong all this time. And that I said something like that earlier, I didn’t mean it that way. It was my bad for choosing the wrong words to expel it. I really am.” Sunggyu said as he went closer to have Myungsoo in his warm embrace.

“Just because I don’t say it directly that I love you, it doesn’t mean that I just using you or something, right?” Sunggyu smiled as he comforting him.

He let out tears rolled down through his cheeks, mingled with the rain. They stayed like that, letting the rain soaking the two bodies.

“I’m sorry, too.” Myungsoo mumbled.

By the time, the two pulled out from the embrace and staring directly into each other.

“You won’t hurt me, right?” Myungsoo asked.

“I can’t swear but believe me I’ll try.”

“I love you.” Myungsoo said with all his heart.

Sunggyu drew close to Myungsoo and kissed him gently on the lips, hands wrapped around his waist. Myungsoo replied the kiss with the equal force, hands lingered around Sunggyu’s neck.

Sunggyu mumbled in their kiss, “I love you.”

It was a long and warm kiss despite the cold rain drenching their bodies.