Himchan stood with his ear pressed against the door to Youngjae’s room, listening silently and cringing slightly every time he heard a small moan. He sighed and stepped away, leaning against an adjacent wall and covering his face will his hands. How could he be so stupid as to think that Youngjae might have actually liked him? He shook his head and stared at the white door for a small moment before walking towards the kitchen to get some food. Maybe eating would help him calm his mind; maybe, just maybe it’d take away the pain. But who was he kidding, eating couldn’t numb anything besides his hunger.

Opening the fridge he pulled out the milk and got a bowl and some cereal. It was quick and easy and truthfully he didn’t feel like doing much at all at this point. He wanted to be the one in there with Youngjae, not Daehyun. He wanted to be the one to keep Youngjae happy but it was near impossible to him.

Himchan sighed again, finishing up the last bit of the tiny bit of cereal he had poured for himself and put the milk back in the fridge. He placed the bowl in the sink, rinsing it quickly before leaving the kitchen and walking out to the small sitting room they had. He started at the couch with the other three members on it and contemplated sitting with them but he figured he could be read like an open book at the moment so instead he made way for his room.

He flopped down on his bed, staring up at the blank ceiling. Maybe it was that Youngjae had given him false hope? No, no. It couldn’t be that. He turned over and curled himself into a ball, pulling his legs to his chest and closing his eyes. Images of the two of them had flooded his mind and he smiled for a second before remembering that they were never going to be anything more than friends. Nothing more than two people hanging out. He felt a small familiar pain in his chest and a tear slowly rolled down his cheek.

Himchan hadn’t realized that he had fallen asleep until he woke the next morning, sun shining bright in his eyes. He rubbed at his eyes and sat up, sighing and shaking his head. Wow, he was pathetic. He cried himself to sleep over some stupid crush that wasn’t even a crush anymore. He wanted Youngjae bad. Almost too badly, but he couldn’t have him because he was Daehyun’s.

He let out a shaky breath and stood up to walk to his mirror, noticing the tear stains on his cheek. God was he so stupid. It was a silly little crush why was he getting so worked up over this? He shook it out of his mind and walked silently to the bathroom so he could wash his face. Once finished he dressed himself in a new outfit for the day before walking out to get some breakfast.

The second he walked out he realized it was a bad idea. Sitting at the table were the last two people he wanted to see right now. He in a breath and walked past them to grab some toast that was already made.

“Was listening to us fun, Himchan hyung?” Himchan stood, frozen when he heard Daehyun’s voice speak up. His eyes darted around the room before he finally turned around to face the two sitting at the table. He took a deep breath and smiled.

“What are you talking about?” Obviously he knew he wouldn’t get away with passing this off as him not knowing, but it was worth a shot.

“Oh please. I know you were out there, you always are.” Daehyun rolled his eyes and gave the elder a small “you really think I don’t know” look. Youngjae shot Daehyun a quick glare before turning his gaze to Himchan.

“How’d you sleep hyung?” He hoped he could successfully change the subject without either of them getting in the way but he knew it was impossible the second Daehyun had scoffed at him.

Himchan chose to not respond to either of them and walked quickly past them, heading for the sitting room before Daehyun’s voice interrupted his walking, once again.

“So you’re just gonna walk away? You’re gonna leave instead of fighting for what you want? How pathetic.” Daehyun stood from his chair, turning to look at Himchan’s back that was now frozen once again. “I thought maybe you’d try to take him away. I was stupid for thinking you were a threat in the first place. You’re nothing more than a coward.” He shook his head and walked away to his own room, Youngjae silently following behind him.

Himchan stood there for a few long moments before letting out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. Was it really that obvious? He bit his lip and continued walking towards the couch, slowly sitting down and nibbling on his toast. Daehyun’s words were a major blow to his ego, and he wasn’t sure he could ever get it back.