I did not like her at first… at all.

“Hey.”

I looked up from where I was playing with the stuffed toys and my Barbie at the play station in our classroom. It was my classmate, a skinny pretty girl with blonde streaks in her long straight black hair. She was standing by the edge of the rug, staring down at me with those deep brown eyes, silently fiddling with the end of the sleeves of her little yellow sweater.

“Hi Jessica.” I smiled at her. I knew her from seeing her around my neighborhood and I knew that her mother was good friends with my mom because I have been to her house several times, although I never saw the girl who usually stayed locked up in her room. I also knew her from school— she sat in front of me during Kindergarten— although I’ve never talked to her before.

She looked away when I smiled but took her shoes off, sat down beside me, and grabbed my Barbie off my lap.

“Do you want to play together?”

Jessica did not reply but continued smoothing out the tangles in the Barbie’s hair. Her own long straight hair fell down like a black curtain, hiding away the girl’s face mysteriously.

“Ok, you can be Stephanie.” I pointed to my doll and brought the stuffed cat towards her with my other hand. “I’ll be Mimi. I was playing house. Stephanie just bought Mimi from the pet store. And they’re now going to go home.”

I cut off my own monologue when I realized that Stephanie was not following the cat toy back to the dollhouse. I looked back and Jessica and saw that the girl was still playing with Stephanie’s long blonde hair, now braiding it into two pigtails. I smiled. Jessica likes Stephanie. I dropped the stuffed toy in my hand and crawled over to rejoin my classmate.

“Stephanie’s very pretty, isn’t she?”

Jessica looked at me, and held my eyes. At first, I smiled at her again, happy that she’s finally responding to me. But then the smile turned into a frown when I wasn’t able to figure out what she was feeling. No smile, no frown, no emotion on her indifferent face. It scared me a little, but I wasn’t able to look away.

But just as quickly as she had turned to me, she turned back away. “No.”

“Of course she is. Barbies are always pretty— Hey! What are you doing?!”

Jessica ignored me and continued twisting the leg of the doll into an awkward angel.

“Jessica, you’re hurting her! Stop it!”

Just when I finished my sentence, before I could even close my mouth after shouting the last word, there was a loud crack.

“STEPHANIE!” I grabbed the broken doll from where it was lying abandoned on the ground in front of her. I held Stephanie close to me. My hands were trembling. Tears started flowing out of my eyes. I was angry, furious, shocked. “I HATE YOU!”

My scream attracted the attention of all the other people in the room; the children looked at us in surprise and the teacher approached us, looking both sympathetic and strict at the same time.

“What’s going on?” She demanded. She opened her arms and hugged me when I ran hastily to her, still clutching Stephanie to my chest.

Teacher saw the broken toy in my hand and patted Jessica’s back to get her attention. Jessica turned around and but looked at me instead of at Teacher, showing no fear or regret of what she did. I looked away, not wanting to face her as she made me angrier.

“Jessica, why did you break Barbi—”

“Stephanie!” I interrupted. I hated when people called her Barbie.

“Uh… Stephanie’s leg?”

“I don’t like it.” Jessica finally spoke with that soft voice of hers.

“Like what?” Teacher sounded confused, not knowing what Jessica was talking about.

“I don’t like it that Stephanie was prettier than Tiffany.”

“What?” The answered surprised both of us again, but I was too young and too emotional back then to realize what she had meant.

“I want Tiffany to be the prettiest.” For the first time, Jessica smiled at me. But at that time, I wanted to rip that smile off her face.


I tried to approach her, with the only way I know how.

“Hey…” This time I was the one who started speaking first.

Tiffany was sitting on a bench at the parking lot, waiting for her mother to pick her up afterschool. I walked towards her and sat down on the free space beside her because I was going home with her. My mom is busy so her mom is dropping me off at my house. After a few seconds of silence, I looked up from my fisted hands on my lap to glance at her. Tiffany was staring down at her pink lunch box with a frown, biting her bottom lip as if in deep thought. She looked at me quickly when I called her name, but then just as quickly turned away and even scooted to the other end of the bench.

“Hey?” I started again. She nodded slightly to show that she had heard me, but refused to look at me.

“Are you still angry?” Nod.

“I’m sorry?” The response took so long that I thought she didn’t hear me, but she shook her head slowly.

“Huh?” I frowned and bit my lip too, not knowing what to do. This wasn’t what I wanted. I just wanted to be her friend. “Hey… here.”

I poked Tiffany’s arm gently with my fisted hand. She turned around. Her big brown eyes round peeking out hesitantly from under her fringe with curiosity. Tiffany looked up at me, trying to look indifferent as I had before, but her eyebrow rose, betraying her interest.

“It’s for you.” I took her hand with my free one and opened my fist on top of her palm.

The little dead golden beetle that I had found during lunch fell down perfectly in the middle of her hand, the gold showing brilliantly against the pale pinkness of her skin. Tiffany stared at it for a while. I started to smile, thinking that she liked it.

But the next thing I knew, I was lying on my backpack on the ground. Tiffany had pushed me away and she herself was now running around the empty parking lot, flailing her hands up in the air as if to get rid of something, and screaming at the top of her lungs.

“BUGBUGBUGBUGBUGBUGBUG!”

“Tiffany!” I tried chasing after her, but that just made her run away further and scream more.

“AHHHHHH!! GET AWAY FROM ME!”

“Tiffany, come back!” I was tired already after running 3 laps around the parking lot but Tiffany still continued on.

“NO—oof!” Tiffany crashed into a woman who was coming our way and fell down onto her bottom. The woman bent down to pull Tiffany up by the arms and carried her in her arms after dusting her pants off.

Tiffany blinked away the tears in her eyes. “MOMMY!”

She burst into tears again when she realized that she was safely in her mother’s arms.

I hurriedly picked up my golden beetle from the ground and ran towards the two. Upon hearing my footsteps, Tiffany hid her face in her mother’s shoulder, scared that I might bring the beetle near her again.

“Aunty Hwang.” I bowed down politely.

“What’s going on, dear?” She asked me while patting Tiffany’s back soothingly.

I opened up my palm again to show her the little harmless beetle, feeling proud of my finding even though I was worried because I made Tiffany cry again. “I found this during lunch. I’ve never seen a gold bug before. It’s really pretty and I thought of Tiffany. So I wanted to give it to her, but she ran away.”

Tiffany’s mom smiled down at me and patted my head while chuckling. “Sorry darling, but Tiffany here is scared of bugs.”

“Oh, I didn’t know.” I pouted sadly.

“Never mind now. Let’s head home, shall we Tiffany?” Aunty Hwang brought out a tissue from her purse and wiped away the tears and snot from her daughter’s face. “Do you want to eat some ice cream?”

Tiffany nodded immediately, her tears stopping at the thought of her favourite food.

“Would you like to invite Jessica to eat ice cream with us?” Aunty Hwang put Tiffany down and held her hand instead. She took my hand with her other free hand.

I looked at Tiffany expectantly. I haven’t had ice cream in a long time and I was feeling very hungry.

But Tiffany shook her head, looking down at the ground again, away from my hopeful eyes.

I frowned. It hurts. My eyes stung like how it does when I am about to cry and my bottom lip started trembling. I bit onto it to stop it, and blinked rapidly.

“Come on girls. Let’s all go eat ice cream together.” Aunty Hwang turned a blind eye to Tiffany’s answer and led the two of us to her car. She gave my hand a little comforting squeeze and smiled warmly at me.

“Don’t worry,” She told me later while carried me when I chose my ice cream flavor, “You and Tiffany will become great friends.”


I did not like her even after years together.
I tried to be her friend, but I only ended up pushing her further away.

“Jessica-unnie!” A little girl ran straight towards Jessica, her arms wide open, her two long pigtails flying in the air behind her.

“Krystal.” Jessica caught her sister as she jumped onto her. She carried her in her arms and gave her a kiss in the cheek in greeting while waiting for their mother to get to them. “Are you here to pick me up?”

“Yes unnie!” Krystal replied cheerfully. “Umma said we’re going shopping!”

“For what?”

Krystal just shrugged in reply and buried her face in her sister’s neck, peeking out through Jessica’s blonde hair at the surrounding masses of highschoolers.

“For groceries.” Mrs. Jung answered when she finally reached her two daughters. “Remember, Tiffany’s coming to stay with you for the next week.”

“Oh right.” Jessica mumbled with a worried frown. That meant trouble for the next week. But Krystal took the news in a completely opposite way: she bounced up and down excitedly in Jessica’s arms, saying at the top of her lungs how she can’t wait.

Mrs. Jung patted her elder daughter’s shoulder sympathetically. “You two will be fine. Just don’t be mean to her. Just be yourself. Isn’t this a great chance for you to become friends?”

Jessica just nodded and followed her mother out of the school gates.

~~

Tiffany has just arrived back home and was in the middle of ing the white long-sleeved blouse of her uniform when her mother burst into her bedroom.

“Miyoung-ah!”

“UMMA!” Tiffany let out a whine, clutching her blouse back closed. “I told you to knock before you come in!”

“Little baby, I’m your mother.” Mrs. Hwang laughed off her daughter. “Anyways, pack your bag.”

“Why?” Tiffany was confused but she took the suitcase that she was handed.

“I have to go out of town for the week with Julia and Michael so you’re going to go stay with Jessica and Krystal.”

“WHAT?” Mrs. Hwang rubbed her left ear as Tiffany had exclaimed the word in her very loud voice. She’s going to make her deaf very soon. “I can go stay with Tae.”

“Julia and Micheal. Going away with me. You will be alone. Jessica and Krystal will be alone. We’re trusting you to take care of each other.”

“Pssh, as if that’s ever going to happen.” Tiffany threw her packed bag on the bed and plopped down beside it. Closing her eyes, she suddenly felt tired, suddenly overwhelmed with memories, the bad ones with Jessica. “That girl hates me.”

“Awww…” Mrs. Hwang sat down on the edge of the bed and reached out a hand to fix Tiffany’s messy fringe. “She probably doesn’t hate you. She’s just shy.”

“She’s so mean to me, and I didn’t do anything to her.” Tiffany mumbled, turning onto her side, away from her mother. “I can’t stand her.”

“So now get your lazy up and go fix things up with her.” Mrs. Hwang said cheerfully and slapped Tiffany’s lightly. “Time to go.”

Tiffany heaved a big sigh and dramatically rolled her eyes before allowing her mother to drag her out of the room, the elder woman laughing at how much she reminded her of her own childhood.

“Trust me Fany-ah, you two are going to become great friends.”

“Maybe next life…”

~~

Ding Dong.

Jessica immediately sprang up from the couch where she was watching cartoons on TV with Krystal and ran towards the door, her sister chasing after her.

“Hey there Tiff.” She smiled widely as she opened the door.

Tiffany raised an eyebrow. When has Jessica ever greeted her, much less smiled at her, before? Something was surely up.

“Fany-unnie!” Tiffany looked down when she left someone tugging at the sleeves of her blouse, and broke into an eyesmile upon the sight of an excited Krystal.

“Hi sweetie.” Krystal once again jumped into the girl’s arms.

“Oh, you’re here, Tiffany, Elena.” Mrs. Jung joined them and hugged Tiffany’s mother in greeting, Mr. Jung arriving shortly with a big suitcase. “Right on time.”
Tiffany tried to bow back politely but she managed with difficulty since she was still carrying Krystal in her arms. Noticing her struggling, Mrs. Jung transferred Krystal into her own arms.

“Soojung-ah, be a little good girl while Mommy and Daddy are gone, ok?” She kissed Krystal’s cheek, then moved onto her elder daughter. “Sooyeon, take care of Krystal and Tiffany. Behave.”

“Tiffany, behave.” Mrs. Hwang said at the same time. The two mothers looked at each other and the adults laughed while the two teenagers rolled their eyes at the command.

The parents finally left after leaving more orders and an exchange of hugs and kisses. The two teenagers and the child were finally left alone.

Jessica and Tiffany turned to look at each other. Jessica’s wide smile was gone, now replaced by her usual arrogant smirk. Be yourself. Tiffany realized that it was all an act in front of their parents, as if they will get along just fine. Right, maybe next life.

Jessica did not say a word and just led Krystal back towards the sofas, leaving Tiffany standing with her bag, lost.

Tiffany let out a sigh. She has to this up and deal with it. Only for a week.

“Hey, where do I stay?” She briskly walked over and stopped a few yards away, arms crossed in front of her.

“In my room.” Jessica did not take her eyes off the TV screen.

“Are you for real?!” The loud voice caused Krystal to look at Tiffany, startled, but Jessica still did not even blink.

“Yup.”

Tiffany frowned even deeper. This was getting too much. Can she really survive the week without ending up killing someone, either Jessica or herself?

“So where’s your room?”

Instead of answering her, Jessica focused her attention on Krystal, asking her sister to get ready for bed since it was already past her bedtime and her cartoon show has ended. She took the little girl’s hand and led her past Tiffany, who was still standing in the hallway, and up the stairs to their bedrooms. While walking past Tiffany, Krystal slowed down and took the older girl’s hand in hers, tugging it slightly.

“Come on, unnie. Let’s go to sleep.”

Tiffany smiled down at Krystal, finally feeling welcomed in the house, picked up her bag and held Krystal’s free hand.

“Let’s go then.”

~~

“So where am I supposed to sleep?” Tiffany stood with her hands on her hips, looking down at Jessica who was sprawled out on her big yellow bed.

“I thought you would be smart enough to figure that out yourself.” Jessica mumbled while trying to get under her blanket with minimal movement.

Tiffany felt her eyebrows twitch in annoyance, but chose to ignore it. “On the floor?”

Jessica just let out a big yawn and rolled over to the other side, closing her eyes to sleep.

Tiffany let out an irritated huff and looked around the room, finally spotting a futon placed for her use in a corner and extra blankets and pillows. She stomped her way over though trying not to make a lot of noise since Krystal was asleep in the next room, struggled to set up her makeshift bed for the week, and lied down tiredly.

But she couldn’t sleep, no matter how tired she was. It was all because she was hungry. She ate only a little during dinner, having lost her appetite after hearing that she has to live with Jessica, and now she was regretting it. As if on cue, her stomach let out a loud angry growl. Tiffany let out a soft groan, slapping her own stomach to stop the noises.
Unable to stand it any longer, Tiffany got out of bed and tiptoed to the door. She was about to sneak out when a cold hand was placed on top of her own on the doorknob.

“eeeeppppp.” She let out a high-pitched shriek but managed to close her lips in time, quieting the sound a little.

“Gosh, you scared me.” Jessica opened the door and stepped outside, holding the door open for Tiffany.

“Says the one who crept up behind me.” Tiffany directed a burning glare at the girl’s back while following her back down the stairs.

“Not my fault you’re a scardy cat.”

“I was focusing on not waking you up, spare me some credit.”

“Your stomach’s growl woke me up already.”

Tiffany didn’t know what to reply to that so she just watched, cheeks aflame with embarrassment, as Jessica went around the kitchen taking out ingredients, utensils, and making something edible. For her.

Or so she presumed too hastily.

Jessica froze when she felt eyes on her back and realized what she was doing. She was trying to make food. She, Jessica Jung, who cannot even crack open an egg successfully. Her hesitation was a second too long, Tiffany began doubting the girl’s actions.

“Thinking of ways to kill me with food?” The sneer broke the silence. Jessica frowned. The spoon made a loud clunk as it fell down back onto the plate.

“Here. Make yourself a sandwich.”

Tiffany mentally face-palmed herself and took Jessica’s place while the girl went to sit down at table with a glass of warm milk in her hand. She could feel a pair of eyes observing her every move, and its scrutiny made Tiffany feel exposed, and she didn’t like it.

“Will you stop staring?” She turned around with another glare.

“Don’t think it’s because you’re good eye candy. I’m just worried that you might break a plate or something.”

Tiffany let out another angry huff and went back to work, muttering incoherent words under her breath. After a few more minutes, she finally finished her sandwich. She was not good at making food, she knew, and she didn’t want Jessica to make fun of her, so she sat down in a chair that’s farthest away from the latter. But her evasion was to no avail.

“That looks so unappetizing.”

Tiffany ignored her and took a big bite.

Jessica got up from her seat and came closer to her, sliding the glass of milk across the table.

“Can you even call that food?”

“Are you really going to insult me every time you open that annoying mouth of yours?” Tiffany slammed her sandwich down, back onto the plate. She was annoyed and she had had enough, enough toleration. It showed from the way she stood her ground, held her head high, her arms crossed, her nostrils slightly flaring. To Jessica, she looked a little menacing but at the same time, very cute.

“If you really take all that I’ve said as insult, then you must really be a *****.” Jessica replied before she could control . She mentally slapped herself, but knew that it was already too late to back out from the quarrel that will continue. So she mimicked the meowing and clawing of a cat.

“And to think our moms want us to become friends?” Tiffany let out a scoff and rolled her eyes as if that was the most ridiculous idea ever. Jessica couldn’t help but to find annoyed Tiffany a tad bit hot, but again, the fire in her eyes was scary.

Jessica hid away her doubts and reasoning skills behind her calm, cool attitude. If this were the only way she can be interacting Tiffany, she would rather argue with her 24/7 than not talk to her at all.

“Why not? We’ll be the best buddies.” She fluidly grabbed Tiffany by the neck and pulled her up against her body with a choking hold.

“Gosh, get away from me.” Tiffany pushed and hit her chest, struggling to get away from her.

“Come on, let’s watch movie together.” Jessica loosened her hold a little but still rested her hands on her waist, just slightly above her . Tiffany didn’t push her hands off again but her eyes narrowed in suspicion at Jessica’s mischievous tone.

“And what? Let you me in the dark?” Tiffany accusingly glared at Jessica’s hand that was toying with her belt. She moved her hip away from her reach before finally walking away to the other side of the table.

“I wasn’t thinking that, but now that you mention it…” Jessica caught up behind her and wrapped her hands around her waist, pulling Tiffany back against her.

“Gosh you’re disgusting, you hormonal teenager.”

“You’re one too, you know?” Jessica stated matter-of-factly, tilting her face parallel to hers with a finger.

Tiffany slapped her finger away. “Don’t compare me to you.”

“You know you love my company.” Not giving up the fight, Jessica hung an arm limply around her shoulder.

“Uhh no.” Tiffany stated firmly, but did nothing to get away from Jessica’s touch.

“You know you love me.” Jessica took a lock of her soft brown wavy hair and twirled it around in her hand.

“No, I actually hate you.” Tiffany looked straight at Jessica as she said it, with all sincerity.

Jessica retracted my hand. That actually hurts.

“You’re mean.” She pouted.

Tiffany looked surprised for a second at the sudden display of aegyo, before rushing to compose herself with another scoff. “You’re the one who bullied me first.”

“When did I?”

“You broke Stephanie’s leg!”

“You still remember that?”

“Of course! That was the first time I actually interacted with you.”

“You still remember too?...”

“How can I forget?” She whispered to herself, but Jessica heard it.

And the conversation died down with the small confession. Neither meant to confess that the other was on their mind; it just somehow slipped out. Jessica felt lost now. She had the chance to patch things up and make things right, to become friends with Tiffany, but she didn’t know what to do, what to say.

Tiffany was surprised that she admitted that. It just slipped out of , a sentence that portrayed her true feelings towards Jessica, that their relationship was a positive feedback loop of insults that started off with something small.

But that was that. Neither was willing to give in to the fight first.

“Good night, Tiffany.” Jessica simply said before abruptly running out of the kitchen.

“She has the decency to say that after she ruined my night.” Tiffany slumped down back in her seat, holding her sandwich in her hand, and staring at the glass of milk, trying to get Jessica out of her mind, ironically. She tore at the bread and chewed it angrily. Her anger still fuming although her mental and physical tiredness was taking toll on her body. She left for her bed soon after she finished her supper, cleaning everything up except for Jessica’s glass of milk that was left, forgotten and ignored.

She failed to realized that Jessica has pushed the glass of milk over to her side of the table. For her.


So I changed my tactics.
Then I realized, she’s not so bad after all.

“Tell me again why we are stuck here?” Tiffany lazily twirled her pencil around in her hand, her head leaning on her knuckles. Her eyes glancing from her math textbooks open on the dining table to the blonde hair girl sitting in front of her and back.

Jessica merely pointed an accusing finger at her, not looking up from checking Tiffany’s notebook.

“Sure, blame it all on me.”

“It is your fault, dumba**. If you hadn’t said in front of Mom how you are failing math.” Jessica faced her with a smirk. “Of course I can’t help it that I’m a math genius.”

Tiffany rolled her eyes and attempted to grab her notebook back, but Jessica held it up high above her head.

“You. Need. To. Do. Your. Homework. Pro.per.ly. Have you even reviewed for the finals?”

Not being able to reach so far, and too lazy to do anything related to math, Tiffany just leaned back in her chair with a shrug. “Whatever.”

Jessica narrowed her eyes and slammed the book down on the table. “Don’t whatever me, young lady. Not when I’m doing this, taking time out of my leisure, for your own good.”

“Who are you? My mom?” Tiffany rolled her eyes again.

“Stop rolling your eyes. One day, they will not come back down from inside of your skull.”

“Oh please. Just mind your own business. As if you give the littlest piece of sh*t. You have no obligation to be helping me.”

Jessica frowned. When had Tiffany become like this?

“My mom told—”

“So now you’re the mommy’s little girl, huh? How ironic this world is.” Tiffany replied with a smirk of her own. Jessica got it now. Tiffany was playing the Jessica card. She was mimicking how she treated her, treats her. And it hurts.

“I do have obligations.” Jessica replied slowly, almost hesitantly.

“What obligations? What are we? Classmates. Are we even friends?”

The last sentence lingered in the air, sounding more sincere and questioning as the silent seconds went by.

Jessica looked at Tiffany. Tiffany looked at Jessica. And for the first time in 11 years, they truly saw each other.

“I would like to be yours.” Jessica said softly, as if to herself. It was her mind that unconsciously spoke the thought out loud. It has been too long since Jessica started trying, and she had been slowly losing hope, losing grip of her own identity in trying to approach the girl, not knowing what to do around Tiffany these days. Not knowing how to act so that she won’t end up pushing her away again. Not knowing how to make Tiffany trust her, like her enough to be her friend.

Tiffany’s eyes widened in surprise at the unexpected answer. She never thought Jessica, the big mean bully, the spoilt princess, will ever say something like that, will ever want to be her friend, especially with the way she had been treating her since forever. She had tried to be nice to her, be friends, but she thought Jessica didn’t want to be, that she was pushing her away. But in fact, it was just Jessica being Jessica, she just didn’t take enough time to fully understand the girl, just as Jessica did not understand Tiffany.

Tiffany stared at Jessica for a second too long, making her uncomfortable. Jessica quickly stood up and ran away, flustered, not knowing what to do yet again.

“So we are friends?...” Tiffany questioned to herself, staring mindlessly in the direction that Jessica had left, her math books lying on the table, forgotten for the rest of the night. It felt like déjà vu.


Our friendship seemed to be evolving into something more, at least for me.
I realized that she was more than a friend for me.

“Tiff, which one looks better?” Tiffany glanced up at Jessica who was standing by the end of their joined beds, in front of the full body mirror, barely clothed, holding up a pink T-shirt in one hand and a white blouse in another. She considered them lazily, looking at the shirts, down at the chosen skinny jeans placed on their dresser, and back at Jessica, her eyes lingering on the latter’s exposed skin for a few extra seconds.

She recognized the pink T-shirt as the couple friendship tees that they had bought together. It matches more with the jeans but she was not going to let her wear their shirt on a date with her. “White. With that black skirt.”

Jessica carefully put down the pink T-shirt on her bed and picked up the skirt. “Hmm, I don’t really like this skirt.”

Tiffany let out a huff of annoyance. “Gosh Jessi, just make up your mind, will ya? It’s not like it’s your first date!”

“I just want to look pretty! It makes Yuri happy.” Jessica grinned at her, knowing that she had Tiffany right where she wanted her. “Aren’t you going to dress up? It’s your first date with SiWon.”

Tiffany rolled onto her stomach, onto Jessica’s bed, and stuck her face into the other girl’s pillow to avoid having to answer. And to hide away the spark of jealousy that ignited in her heart when she heard Yuri’s name. Why did I agree to the stupid double date?

“I’m going with the pink shirt.” Jessica announced and held up the T-shirt again, sneaking a look at Tiffany’s reaction from behind the pink cloth.

Tiffany turned her head with a glare. “Why did you even asked me in the first place when you’re not gonna take my suggestion?!”

Jessica just giggled and busied herself with putting on her clothes. A smug grin formed on her face when she saw Tiffany’s eyes on her body, and the approving smile the girl had when she saw the pink. She liked it when she solely had Tiffany’s attention. She felt happy when Tiffany is happy.

Just for you, Tiffany.

She pretended to fix her hair and glanced at the girl on the bed. Tiffany quickly stuffed her head back into Jessica’s pillow, acting as if she wasn’t looking. The bed creaked and dipped when Jessica jumped onto it, walking on her knees towards the other girl. She placed a hand on Tiffany’s shoulder and squeezed it a little, massaging the tensing muscles.

“Want me to do your makeup?”

Tiffany shook her head, not looking up.

“Your hair?”

Tiffany shook her head again.

“Anything?”

“…”

Jessica let out a little surprised shriek when a tug on her wrist made her fall onto the soft mattress. Before she could react, she felt arms surrounding her waist and a head resting against her chest.

“Ti-Tiffany?” Jessica tried to back away before the latter could hear her loud erratic heartbeats but the grip was too strong.

“Just stay with me.” Tiffany surprised herself with her actions as well. One moment, she was feeling jealous, and the next, she didn’t know what she was doing, except that she didn’t want Jessica to be with Yuri; she wanted Jessica all for herself.

Jessica inhaled a deep breath and gulped in an attempt to slow her racing heart. Tiffany was too close for comfort. But she liked it.

“Your heart is being so fast.” Tiffany mumbled, her voice muffled against Jessica’s clothes.

Jessica felt herself holding her breath. Did she notice?

“Just like mine.” Tiffany closed her eyes, shutting away the confusing thoughts, and allowing herself to just enjoy the moment.


We had something more than friendship.
I liked her more than a just friend, more than a sister.

Tiffany pushed her chair away from the table roughly and stood up all of a sudden. She was feeling jealous. Getting a little too jealous. She couldn’t stand seeing Jessica being so loving to Yuri anymore. She had tolerated, but she just can’t do it anymore. She felt as if her heart was going to burst, she wanted to rip Yuri’s hand away from Jessica, rip that smile off her face, drag Jessica back to their dorm, locking the door, locking her away in her heart, away from everyone.

“Excuse me.” She muttered through gritted teeth and walked away from the table briskly and unstably. Her clacking of her heels fading away as she disappeared.

Jessica stared at the door through which Tiffany exited. Then she turned back around, feeling two pairs of eyes on her.

“What?” She looked back coolly at them.

“Now what?” Yuri asked.

Jessica did not answer. She planned this to see how Tiffany would react, and now that she reacted the way she wanted her to, she didn’t know what to do. She got the confirmation she wanted, but now what? Although Jessica didn’t admit it, she honestly did not know the answer to the question, but the other two understood her silence.

“What are you waiting for?” Yuri continued, nudging her best friend’s side with her elbow.

“What?” Jessica repeated confusedly.

“Go after her.” SiWon motioned to the door with a slight tilt of his chin, a handsome grin on his face.

Jessica stared at him, eyebrows furrowed, head tilted, trying to make sense of the situation. Before Yuri and SiWon could let out sighs of desperation and stand up to pull their friend out of her chair, the light bulb finally went off in Jessica’s head. And she was out of her seat, out of the restaurant, after her girl in a flash.

It was all dark outside. Coming out of the bright atmosphere of the restaurant, Jessica was unable to see anything at first. But that didn’t stop her from searching for her; Jessica ran around, blindly searching for Tiffany. Around the restaurant, down the street, back up the street, around the lake, and then she finally found her, standing in the shadow of a big tree at the shore.

Jessica slowly and quietly approached her from the back, not knowing whether to disturb her or leave her alone.

“Tiffany…” Her heart called out before her mind could turn her feet back down the lane.

Tiffany turned around in surprise, especially at hearing the voice of the person she has unconsciously been waiting for. Her round eyes were open wide at first, but then she narrowed them after the shock of Jessica’s presence has worn off. For once, Tiffany’s eyes were unreadable, the portrayed emotions too conflicting, the shadows of the night too obscuring.

“What are you doing here?”

“What are you doing here?” Jessica replied to the question with another question. She took a step forward, but Tiffany shrank away further.

“Getting some fresh air.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” She answered, bristling, when Jessica poked through the hole in her wall. “Go back to your Yuri.”

Jessica raised an eyebrow and smirked. She loved teasing this girl. Only after she had said those words did Tiffany realize how much like a jealous girlfriend she sounded.

“No, you’re more important. Are you ok?”

“I’m fine.”

“I’ve read it somewhere that when girls say ‘I’m fine’, they’re feeling the opposite way inside.” Jessica took another step forward and Tiffany, another backwards. “So you are not feeling fine.”

“Stop acting like a know-it-all.”

“What’s wrong?” Jessica asked again, ignoring the bitterness in Tiffany’s voice. “Is it Siwon?”

“No.”

“Yuri?”

Tiffany’s eyes flickered towards Jessica face, but then looked away immediately when she made eye contact with her. Her voice lowered a notch, her shoulders slumped, and she seemed to lose her determination to fight.

“No…” She answered unsurely.

“Me?” No answer.

Jessica waited a while longer, but the silence continued, which confirmed her wishful hypothesis more. She decided that she had wasted enough time, and that it was time to stop beating around the bush.

“Are you jealous?”

“WHA—pshhh, me? J-jealous?” Tiffany let out a shaky scoff and fixed her hair behind her ear, something that she does when she’s nervous or guilty. Which now she was feeling both.

“Then look at me and convince me.” Jessica held Tiffany by her shoulders and pulled her around so that she was facing her, but Tiffany continued evading her probing and knowing stare.

“Stop pretending like you know everything.” Her eyes frantically wandered around everywhere except to Jessica. “You don’t know anything about me. Ok, I’m not feeling fine but even a little baby could see it. Way to state the obvious. But I just need a little fresh air to clear my mind. Nothing as deep as you’re suggesting. No, you don’t understand me. Sure, you’re my friend now, but how long as it been since we became friends? Only—”

“16 years.” Jessica’s quiet calm voice interrupted Tiffany’s loud ramblings of her train of thought.

“What?” Tiffany was thrown off track by the simple answer.

“But only 3 years officially as friends.”

“B-but—”

“16 years is an ample amount of time to get to know someone, especially if you’ve been observing her all the time.” Jessica took another step closer, and Tiffany tried to move back but she bumped into the rough bark on trunk of the tree. Trapped. “Now, will you admit that you’re jealous?”

Jessica did not look away from Tiffany for even one second; this was it.

Tiffany screwed her eyes shut, trying to block out Jessica’s presence that was infringing into her personal space, a presence that she unadmittedly wished would come closer. Her mind and heart were at battle once again, and from the way the organ inside her chest was thumping fast and furiously with the rhythm of victory, it was clearly winning against the reasoning of the brain.

“F-FINE! I’m jealous ok?!” Tiffany burst out in frustration, mostly at herself for getting into such a messy situation internally. She faced Jessica, ready with a glare to counteract Jessica’s arrogant smirk, but was instead met by smiling tender eyes. She lost all her will to fight and melted like an ice cream in the desert for the innocent, childlike happiness that was radiating from Jessica.

“Why?” Jessica asked softly, a hand reached up to rest gently on Tiffany’s cheek before caressing it lightly.

Tiffany was once again surprised by the little gesture and her heart forgot how to beat in excitement. She averted her eyes downwards shyly. “I don’t know.”

“Tiffany, look at me.” Jessica commanded again. Tiffany did, and she held back a gasp, her heart missed a beat. She had not realized how close Jessica had gotten to her, how much she was invading her personal space, but none of it mattered anymore when Jessica cupped her face, leaned in, and captured her lips in a long meaningful kiss. All was suddenly clear for Tiffany: that she was jealous, why she was jealous, why Jessica was her friend, who Jessica was to her, what Jessica felt for her, what she felt for Jessica. Gone was the mean bully, annoying spoilt princess, b*tchy jock. Instead, the girl in front of her was the innocent child, who loved to play, loved to tease, loved to spend time with Tiffany, loved to love. And for Jessica, this was it: what she had been trying to find and obtain with Tiffany over the past 16 years, namely, Tiffany’s love.

Jessica and Tiffany finally broke apart, albeit unwillingly. They leaned their foreheads against each other’s, noses touching, Jessica’s hand still on Tiffany’s face, and Tiffany’s arms now locked around Jessica’s waist. They smiled, and looked at each other, allowing themselves to see each other in a new light, love light.

“Now, do you know?” Jessica asked. Her words travelled over Tiffany’s lips, brushing their way up her cheeks, and finally to her ear. Her smile curved up higher, mirroring Jessica’s.

Tiffany gave her answer with another kiss.


I do.
I do.

“So…” Tiffany spoke up in the comfortable silence that was surrounding the two girls cuddling on the beach. “Let’s see…”

“Hmm?” Jessica replied mindlessly, continuing to twist around the strands of Tiffany’s hair that had fallen down over her arm that was wrapped around Tiffany’s waist.

“So you… and I…” Tiffany held the slender fingers to stop them from playing with her hair.

“You and I?” Jessica repeated.

Tiffany turned her head to look at her. Her round innocent eyes tentatively making contact with Jessica’s deep knowing ones. She opened as if to continue her sentence, but closed it again and instead turned sideways and enclosed the other girl in her arms tightly.

Jessica let out a faint smile, held Tiffany close, and provided her with all that she wanted and all she had always wanted to provide.

“I was stupid.” She confessed first.

“I was wrong.”

“I was antisocial.”

“I judged too quickly.”

“I was mean.”

“I didn’t try to understand you better.”

“I didn’t know what to do.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that night that you don’t know how to make sandwiches?”

“I didn’t want you to think less of me.”

“And I can’t believe you tricked me with Yuri and SiWon.” Tiffany giggled at the memory while Jessica chuckled and held her closer, as if scared that Tiffany was going to slip out of her hands like the sand they were sitting on.

“I didn’t realize that I love you.”

“I didn’t know I would ever fall in love with you.”

“But you did.”

Tiffany had to laugh at that. That line was totally Jessica; it was something that she used to think she hated, but now she knows otherwise. She released Jessica from the hug, and moved her hands up to Jessica’s face to cup her cheeks lovingly.

“Yeah, I did.”

“You just can’t stay away from this awesome being.” Jessica pointed to herself with a cheeky grin on her face.

“Yeah, I can’t.” Tiffany played along, but ended up bursting out in laughter again, her hands clutching her stomach to prevent herself from falling over, although Jessica still had an arm securely around her waist, watching her laugh amusedly. “Gosh Jessi, you’re so conceited.”

“But you love this very conceited Jessica Jung.” Jessica continued with another smirk.

“Oh yes. I love this conceited Jessi a little too much.” Tiffany reached out again to caress Jessica’s cheek and leaned forward to give her a peck on the other side.

“You do?” Jessica asked her as if hearing it for the very first time, looking down at Tiffany who was now leaning against her chest again.

“I do.” Tiffany smiled widely. Her happiness showed in her eyesmile. I love you.

“And I do… you…” Jessica flushed when her nervousness caused her to stutter, Tiffany giggling at her girlfriend’s cute awkwardness. Clearing , Jessica tried again. And… I love you too.

“So you and me…” Tiffany nodded with a content smile while continuing, “now together…”

Jessica grinned that Jessica smile of hers. “I was thinking more like forever.”

“Forever and more.” Tiffany agreed.


So under the glowing moon, they said their vows of love, with the stars as witnesses, and the applauding waves congratulating them on their union. Their story thus continues with a kiss shared with her, her. Just her. She was all that mattered.