Another night with a nameless face, another night of sinful pleasure. Ah, yes. This is my life; CEO by day, bedwarmer by night. It's not my fault that the ladies (and gentlemen, at times) desperately needed me to warm them up in cold, lonely nights. But I know that what I'm doing is wrong... I know that it will not end well. But I can't resist the temptation of having just a little taste of that delightful sin.

           I am so pathetic, aren't I? I have such a beautiful lover waiting for me at home, yet here I am, sharing warmth with a woman whose name I did not even catch. I can't even count the numerous times I had promised myself to stop... but just a little tease... just a little temptation and my resolve wavered. Pathetic, right? Each night, I come home to Taemin's waiting arms. I would hold him in my arms... caress his face...kiss him. Can such a soiled person like me even be allowed to touch him? My hands, these filthy hands, touched such a pure being like Taemin... I have tainted him. The mere thought of it disgusts me. I'm ashamed... disgusted of myself. How did I ever deserve someone like Taemin? How can someone as beautiful as him possibly fall for someone like me?  I don't deserve him or his love... he doesn't deserve someone who is easily swayed by every little temptation. No. He deserves better... he deserves someone better than me. My disgust runs so deep that I can't even bear to look at myself or Taemin properly. Embarrassment would course through me each time those pure, beautiful eyes would look at me. It was because of all the shame, the guilt and disgust that I had lost sight of that one important thing. Taemin. Unconsciously, I had began to avoid him. I was losing him, but I was the one to blame. The hurt his eyes held each time I forgot something would break my heart. He was hurting. But the fact that I was the one hurting him came like a slap to the face.

           I had sworn to protect him... to stay by his side... to love him. He trusted me so much, but what did I do? I betrayed that trust. I betrayed him.

          It was not long after that when Taemin had began to close himself off, shutting away the world... shutting me away. The walls I had worked hard to break through was up again... but this time, I couldn't break through. He wouldn't let me... he didn't want me to. Because of that wake up call, I stepped back to see the bigger picture... to see the damage that I had caused. 

          I couldn't be more ashamed and mad at myself. Ashamed because I had once again reduced him to this... that I had destroyed what I worked so hard to repair; his heart. Taemin, who had always been on the brink of spiralling down, had been tipped off the edge. In fact it was me... I was the one who pushed him in... I was the one to blame... I hurt him... I killed him... I killed his poor heart ever so slowly... ever so painfully... yes, I killed him.

          That fateful nightI lost him... that was when everything came crumbling down... when everything was torn apart ... and my world shattered. When he left, he took a piece of me... and that piece of me died that night.

            It had started out normally and I was warming up someone once again. But the thought of Taemin ever catching me redhanded was something I neglected. I was careless. I was stupid. I should have said no. But I didn't. I had given into that woman's desire but I never thought I would lose Taemin.  All rational thoughts had been erased. I had let lust take full control of my body. Somewhere along those sinful touches, forbidden kisses and whispers of pleasure, Taemin had popped into my office door. I don't know how long he had been standing there, how much he had seen. But the tears on his face told me he had seen enough. I was so scared, but the disgusting woman on top of me seemed too preoccupied. Taemin did not scream nor yell. He didn't stop us. The blank look on his face scared me, rendering me frozen. But his tears kept pouring. And every single tear that dropped was breaking my heart.  And then, he left. I had regained my strength by then and pushed the woman off. Hastily, I dressed myself, ignoring her whines. I had to follow him... I had to apologize... I had to tell him I love him. 

         I looked everywhere, but he was nowhere in sight. Not in our usual places... not in our home... not anywhere. The beach had been a desperate try.

        My heart was both rejoicing and fearing when I spotted him just a little way down the shore. I had hoped I wasn't too late... that Taemin wouldn't do anything reckless. But he was walking further and further out to sea without any sign of stopping.  My heart pounded as I ran towards him, screaming his name. Whether he heard me or not, I didn't care. When I had started crying, I never knew as well.  All I knew was that I had to get to him... I had to save him...

        I willed myself to run faster, but my legs refused to cooperate. He had turned to face me and I was momentarily frozen. But then, he took his final step, disappearing from sight. My heart literally stopped beating. A rush of adrenaline pumped though my veins as I raced into the sea, diving in and desperately searching for him in the darkness of the ocean. I surfaced, but there was no sign of him anywhere. Desperation clawed at me as I took in a deep breath, once again submerging into the dark waters. This time, I had been successful. I took his pale, lifeless body into my arms as I raced for shore.  I placed him into the sand, checking his pulse... to see if he wass still breathing... if he was still here with me. My heart dropped as I felt nothing. He felt so cold... so lifeless... so... dead.

         In desperation, I pressed my lips to his, filling his lungs with air. Pulling away, I began to pump his chest. I was hoping... wishing... praying to whatever god was out there. I begged him not to take Taemin from me. But even I knew it was a futile attempt. He was gone... forever. But I couldn't accept that fact so easily. I had taken him into my arms, clutching his lifeless body close. I begged him to come back to me... crying out his name relentlessly... sobbing out all my sorrow... displaying my weakness for all the world to see. 

           That was two weeks ago. Last week had been Taemin's funeral.  Jinki hyung had come home after hearing the news that Taemin, his precious baby brother, had died. I still remember the look he gave me... I still remember all the hate his eyes held. I had let him beat me up, insult me... I didn't fight back because I knew I deserved it. I deserved the pain. I listened to his cries... I listened to his pain...

          'Why? Why did you hurt him? Why did you cheat? Why did you let him die? Why?! He loved you so much! Why, Minho, why? I trusted you, Minho! You promised to take care of him... so, why...? Why did my little brother have to die?'

I couldn't answer him. I didn't know what to say. I merely whispered an apology, walking away from the heartbreaking scene. So that's what lead me here today. I'm on the beach once again. The same one where he died. I stared at the watch on my wrist, watching the seconds tick by. It was just a few seconds away... the time of his death. I held the paper I had found on my desk, my eyes scanning over it's contents.

Minho yah,

               Happy anniversary! I know you probably forgot again, but it's fine. It's not like it matters now anyway. I just wanted to thank you for everything you've done... and I wanted to tell you one important thing; you're free. Free from any obligations to me. Minho yah, I'm setting you free. You've been so selfless, sacrificing everything for me. I'm sorry I ever tied you down. I'm so, so sorry for everything you went though because of me. I want you to start anew. Go on, live the life you want, I'll be fine... I promise I'll be fine. I wish you all the best. I hope we meet again... someday... maybe. Be happy.

Love,

Taemin

I held it close to my chest, letting my tears flow freely. I gave my watch one final glance, calming myself. The time has come.

Taemin yah, you never tied me down... and you're right, I want to start anew... but I want to start again with you. Don't you realize? I love you so, so much... Maybe it's time, Taemin yah... It's time for us to meet once again..

Slowly, I raised the gun to my head, pressing the cold barrel against my temple. My finger slowly curled around the trigger as I closed my eyes, thoughts of Taemin filling my head once again.

I love you, Taemin.

There was a deafening bang, a momentary pain... and then... there was nothing.

"Minho yah."

I opened my eyes, staring in awe as Taemin stood before me. He looked as beautiful as I remember. 

"T-taemin..."

He smiled wholeheartedly, putting out his hand for me to take.

"Shall we go, Minho yah?"

Smiling, I took his hand into my own as I stood up. Intertwining our hands, I let him lead me down the shore where a bright light was waiting. I squeezed his had tightly as I pulled him closer to me.

"This time, I'm never letting you go."

"You'll never lose me this time, Minho."

I smiled as he led me into the light. Pausing, I glanced behind us, gazing at the lifeless body left lying on the beach.

"Are you ready, Minho yah?" 

"Yes."

That very night, Choi Minho had ceased to exist as well.