Little turtle rushing to meet the sea
Broke out of your shell, you’re now free

The sounds of a pen scraping against paper filled the silence of the darkened room. The only source of light came from the small lamp on the desk. A figure sat, hunched over the desk as he scribbled away. Taemin paused for a while, his eyes filling with sadness as his gaze flickered towards the frame that sat on the desk. With shaking hands, the boy picked it up, his lips quivering as he fought to stay quiet. Tiny droplets of tears dropped on it, but Taemin didn't wipe them away. Sighing, the boy put it back down and glanced towards the bed where his lover usually lay in deep sleep. But now, it was empty, just like him.

Weakly, the boy got up and placed the letter he had made near the picture with a small, bitter smile. Lee Taemin, the one who used to hold on, was finally letting everything go. Opening the door, he stepped outside, taking in an amount of air. The waves crashing into shore sounded in the distance as the boy began to walk on the beach, his feet digging into the sand.

Little turtle, on a long journey,
Embrace the waves, follow your destiny

He got himself to thinking how long he has been stuck in the same old place. How long he has been fighting for something that he knew would eventually come crumbling down. How long he's been tied down to memories of the past. How long he's tied everyone down for his own selfish reasons. Everything just wasn't the same anymore. He feels as if he's the only one who's keeping up the faith... the only one strong enough to fight. Everyone gave up, even Minho. But he chose not to. He didn't want to. He was Lee Taemin, after all. And Lee Taemin never quits. He fights, even if there seems to be no hope, he holds on even to the tiniest ray of hope. He wouldn't fall, even if they drag him down. He was strong. Stronger that everyone thought. He was going to stay and wait... wait until they came back.

Little turtle searching for that place
Where time stands still and everyone stays.

First it was Onew who left. His hyung left him so he could go out and explore the world.  Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months and months turned to years. Still, his hyung did not return. Taemin figured bitterly that perhaps his hyung was happy without him around. Happy to finally not be tied down anymore. Everyone reassured him that it wasn't like that. That his hyung would come back. They even promised that they would stay with. Hah. Where did that promise go? Down the drain, probably. Before he knew it, Key had left him as well. They told him that his Key umma had gone to a better place... that he couldn't be with Taemin anymore. Taemin did not understand. What was so important that even Key had to leave him? To say he was hurt was an understatement. His already-beaten heart was crushed. Everyone seemed to leave. Did they not want to be with him anymore? What had he done wrong for them to leave him? It was not long after Key's departure when Jonghyun joined him as well. All the dino left was a small note, saying he could not be without his Key. That he was going to follow him no matter where he went. However, this sudden decision did not surprise nor affect Taemin greatly. His poor heart had grown cold and distant. He was used to it. After all, everyone leaves him. Everyone except Minho.

Little turtle, have you found a home?
For you are loved and never alone.

Minho. His dearly beloved Minho. His little froggy prince. Remembering him made Taemin crack a small smile. When everyone left, it was Minho stayed by him. It was Minho who took care of him. It was Minho who nursed his broken heart. It was Minho who loved him. Minho, Minho, Minho. It was all Minho. The one who kept him alive... the one who made him smile... the one he fell in love with. For once, he felt that he wasn't alone and that someone truly did love him. However, Taemin couldn't accept Minho's promise of forever. Taemin knew that he was too good to be true. He knew that, eventually, Minho would leave him as well. Everyone leaves. Even Minho.

Little turtle, nurse your broken heart
for there’s no going back to the start.

And he was right. Slowly, his little froggy prince grew distant and cold. He forgot dates, anniversaries and even Taemin's birthday. Whenever they were together, Taemin always felt so lonely. That even if Minho was physically here, his mind was elsewhere. It only made his heart start hurting again. He did not want to go through another loss again. He was scared. Scared of how dependent on Minho he's become. Scared of how weak he has become. Scared of losing him. Scared of being alone. That's why, even if there were tell-tale signs of a fall-out, Taemin kept quiet and put on his happy facade. He forced himself to plalser smiles on his face even if he was hurting so much. He had become such a good actor that he almost had himself fooled. Almost.

Little turtle, drowning in an ocean of pain,
Let your tears wash away with the rain.

He told himself that there was nothing wrong in their relationship. He fed himself lies until he finally saw it for himself. The sight of his lover with another woman shocked him completely. They were all over each other, kissing, touching, smiling. They looked so intimate that it disgusted him. His fixed heart was once again in pieces, this time, shattered beyond repair. The only person left that he trusts and he betrays him, casts him aside for what? A short time of pleasure? He just couldn't get it. Was he not enough? Was Minho not satisfied with just him? His frozen state was broken when Minho finally noticed him. Taemin didn't even know when the tears started falling, but they were falling fast. Minho, his dear froggy, had betrayed him. 

Little turtle, aren’t you getting tired
Pretending you really never died inside?

Taemin did not scream nor yell. He did not demand for an explanation. Instead, he just walked away. And that scared Minho. There was nothing that gave away what Taemin was feeling, aside from the tears flowing freely down his face. He was so hollow. So empty. So... dead. Not even his eyes, which were usually filled with so much emotion, gave him out. But he was crushed on the inside. History was going to repeat itself again. Taemin wasn't going to be left behind. Not this time. Before that happens, he was going to leave first, to save his troubled heart from more grief.

Little turtle, stop reaching for the sun.
In her eyes, you belong in the ocean.

Pausing, Taemin sighed. He looked back at the tracks he made, staring that the place he once called home in a far distance. It was time to let go. Time to let go of everything. Time to let go of his sufferings. Time to let go of Minho. He didn't know if there was ever a place left for him. All he knew was that he did not belong here. Not anymore. He realised that he's forgotten who he was. That Lee Taemin was reduced to this pathetic excuse for a man. For so long, he's done everthing to please Minho so he wouldn't leave him. But despite everything, in the end, Taemin is all alone. However, he did not mind it, not this time. After all, when we were born in this world, we were alone, correct? And we'll leave this world alone, as we had been borne. There is no use to hold on to silly little things. Yes, today was the day. The day to end it all.

Little turtle lost at sea,
Rise above your misery.

A soft smile graced the boy's lips as the sun slowly began to rise, the ocean mirroring its beautiful colors. Taemin always loved the ocean, even though he does not know how to swim. The ocean was both a tragic and beautiful place. It had claimed his parents, and even his dino hyung. Slowly, as if in a trance, the boy walked towards the water, his smile never wavering. Today was the day he lets go. Today was the day he would surrender himself to the cold embrace of the ocean.

"Key umma..." he whispered softly, "How are you? How about Jonghyun hyung? Ne, umma, I'll see you soon... real soon."

Little turtle lost at sea,
Remember how it used to be.

He went deeper into the water, tears leaking out of his eyes. He was reminiscing of the past again. Those happy memories filling his vision. The cold water had already reached his waist, but still, the boy continued forward. He shivered slightly, biting his lip as his eyes fluttered open. Staring at the horizon, the boy let out a small whimper.

"I want to go to a place where there is no pain.."

One step. Just a few more was all he needed.

"...no lies..."

Another step. He was close. So close.

"...no suffering..."

A third step. Yes, just a couple more...

"... no tears..."

And another step. His eyes fluttered close as he took a deep breath, wrapping his arms around his shaking form.

By now, the water had reached up his neck and Taemin never felt himself so close to something he wanted. He was aware of his name being constatly called. Half of him told him to turn around and see who it was. But the lingering half told him to continue. After all, it was only just a few more steps. Just a few more steps until he would attain freedom.

In the end, he lost the battle. Turning his head ever so slightly, he opened his eyes and saw Minho's terrified face. Everything seemed to be in slow motion as Minho ran towards him, plunging into the water as he called his name desperately. Minho's tear-streaked face was all he saw before he took the final step. That final step towards his freedom. There was no pain. Nothing came. But soon, he was slowly losing oxygen. His lungs begged to be filled, but he stubbornly refused. His dimming vision was aware of the figure that was only a few mere feet away from him. The boy opened his mouth and let a stream of bubbles out as his vision turned black. And then, he was gone. Lee Taemin had ceased to exist.

Little turtle lost at sea,
You will be found… maybe.

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Poem written by the protagonist Jessica Lorraine Santiago (Julia Montes) from the movie Way Back Home. I might make a sequel, Minho's side of the story this time :)