---

Silly, you.

Of course you know.

Just ask your heart.

The answer has always been there.

You haven’t realized yet.

---

      Woohyun is not okay. He lacks sleep, motivation, energy, and just about everything else. He’s not necessarily depressed, but he doesn’t express much of his conflicts to others anymore. It wasn’t always this way. His friends, especially Dongwoo, worry about him to death.

      He used to be the always-smiles Woohyun who would go out his way to make everyone happy even if it meant wasting his free time or not going home to visit his lovely family. Woohyun notices himself changing too, and he hates himself for worrying others when he doesn’t even know why he’s like this.

     If someone was living as him for a day, they would consider him to have the perfect life. He has a nice apartment to live in, lots of companions, a loyal friend that comes around once every century, and he’s even in a romantic relationship.

     But it wasn’t, it really wasn’t at all. It’s far from perfect; in fact, it’s nowhere near it. He feels like he’s being stabbed and as each day goes by, the wound gets worse and worse.

     And worst of all, is that he has no idea where that stab is coming from.

     Until one day, it finally gets him when he least expects it.

---

He does know.

So he gets up.

And he runs to that person.

---

     Exam week is starting to approach as winter break follows along. Sunggyu is studying non-stop while doing his work while Sungjong is busy preparing meals for both of them to last for the next few day so that he can spend more time studying.

     Woohyun is also trying his best by using most of his times looking over notes and reading all the sections he was taught from the professor. Once in a while, Dongwoo takes him out for a short break to make sure the younger is still alive and not working too hard to the point of illness.

     Everyone is busy, even the other college kids are running around from the library to other quiet places to study, all in hopes of passing the exam, and finally rest for winter break.

     Time drags everyone into extra long sessions of studying and preparation for exams. But after that, it decides to be nice for once.

     “Hey, exams are over!” Dongwoo exclaims merrily to Woohyun, “Wanna hang out during break?”

     “…” Woohyun dozes off; staring into space has become his favorite hobby recently.

     “Sorry, what?” Woohyun finally replies, “I couldn’t hear you.”

     Dongwoo’s happiness is changed into worry, “Are you okay? You seem so out of everything. Exams are all over, cheer up.”

     “Huh? Yeah, I know.”

     “Can you at least tell me what are you thinking of? I’ve been here the whole time and you still haven’t told me anythi-”

     “The words she said,” Woohyun cuts off inattentively, “Before I got dumped...”

     “Oh. Still thinking about them?” Dongwoo knows what the latter was talking about. Woohyun spilled everything to him last time after keeping it to himself for so long, always acting everything would be okay, trying his best to be the Woohyun everyone was used to; the Woohyun he himself was used to being.

     “Hey,” Dongwoo starts off kindly, “I think that, all he really wanted was for you to be happy. Girlfriend or not, he’d still wish for your happiness, don’t you think? So stop moping around, he’ll be back soon.”

     “Also,” He adds on, “If you have something you want to say, make sure you don’t mess up like you did last time then. It’s fine if you don’t, but… you can regret not doing it afterwards. What matters is that you actually said what you want, not about the response or whatever outcome it may be. As long as you tried to make it work, then it’s okay. I’m going to go now, take care. Eat plenty of food by the way; you’ve changed into this skinny man I don’t even recognize for the past months.”

     Woohyun smiles for the first time in a while; a sincere, genuine one and says to his supportive friend, “Thanks. I love you, Dongwoo.”

     His friend simply laughs and suggests mischievously, “That’s not who you should be saying that to. Save it for someone else, like your girlfriend, maybe?”

     It is at that moment when Woohyun realizes that, maybe change might be a good thing. He wouldn’t know how good a friend Dongwoo was without it.

---

It didn’t matter where.

He ran.

Towards what his heart told him.

---

     Sunggyu is packing his necessities into a bag while his dorm mate is pouting annoyingly at him as he shoves more stuff into it.

     “Are you sure you’re coming back after winter break?” Sungjong asks dejectedly, “I don’t want to be alone next semester because you decided to stay with your boyfriend because he’s on the verge of killing himself, being deprived of his loved one.”

     “Didn’t I mention he has a girlfriend already? Geez.” Sunggyu retorts somewhat angrily, “I’ll definitely come back next semester or else I wasted my own money.”

     “Oh, who cares?”

     “Sungjong, do you even know what a girlfriend is?”

     “I’m not a kid! I do, but that girl probably doesn’t love him as much as you do.”  

     Sunggyu sighs, “Sometimes, I don’t know whether you’re joking or not…”

     “What part of me screams sarcasm?!” Sungjong explodes in frustration exactly like a child. Sunggyu laughs and continues to pack up while the other is sitting there watching him. He’s returning home too but he doesn’t pack as much “” (which he got scolded for saying) as Sunggyu.

     “You know…” Sungjong reminds him excitedly.

     “What?” Sunggyu narrows his eyes on the younger, knowing he’ll say something extremely nonsensical.

     “This dorm can hold up to four people. You two can share the bed while I sleep on the other one, I don’t want anyone sleeping on the floor or the couch. It’ll be great! We can have more people. I’ll cook for him too, even if he’s like a professional chief, according what you told me. But it’s perfectly fine, I’m still young. Just don’t do dirty stuff on the bed at night, I still have to sleep and people say I’m too innocent to be witnessing it in front of my face, okay? Do it somewhere... secretly.”

     Sungjong almost gets hit in the face by a shoe if it wasn’t for Sunggyu’s half-assed attempt at aiming.

     It takes Sunggyu a minute to figure out how much impact can change have on his life. One moment, he’s upset, suffering, and on the verge of dying; while the next, he finds a great friend that takes good care of him. He waves to Sungjong on the train and the latter is giving him that disgusting wink as if saying he’ll be expecting another person when he returns.

     No matter how much time there is in the world, not a second will be wasted. So Sunggyu waits patiently for the long train ride to take him home, where everyone is waiting for him; even if it’ll take a day, a month, a year, or even more, because Sunggyu has always been patient waiting his whole life.

     Time decides to rather guide him this time, and lets his trip go smoothly.

     And before Sunggyu knows it, he’s right in front of Woohyun’s apartment, with the spare keys he got right in his hand. However, he rings the doorbell first, thinking of what his best friend would think when the door is opened so he grins at the thought of seeing his surprised face.

      A minute passes.

     But nobody is opening the door. Sunggyu is sure Woohyun is inside the apartment because he never goes out when it’s snowing this badly. So he lets himself in, and sure enough, his shoes are there but not the person.

     Maybe Woohyun is asleep, but that definitely does not explain the sight of the apartment. It’s completely trashed; open containers and cans all over the place, scraps of paper are scrunched up like snowballs scattered on the wooden floor and just about everything is disorganized. Something was up, Woohyun was not the neatest person but he keeps his place as clean as possible.

     Sunggyu drops his belongings into a corner and walks around to observe the place. He bends down to pick up one of the papers that was bundled up into a ball shape and unravels it. Well that’s weird; it’s just a bunch of scribbles and words that are crossed out. He chooses to look at another piece of paper on the ground when Sunggyu sees what Woohyun has been doing with these papers; he’s been writing song lyrics, even if there are a lot of words and phrases that can’t be seen due to it being crossed off as well. So he decides to take all of the paper from the floor and makes a pile of it near a glass coffee table in the living room, saving it for later because from what he’s read on the paper, something is wrong with Woohyun.

     He walks cautiously into Woohyun’s room and encounters a Woohyun he’s never witnessed before. The latter is hugging his knees to chest with his head faced downwards and at the far corner of his bed that’s located in the left side with blankets covering his head.

     The elder is almost scared of seeing him like this. But he approaches the younger anyways because he needs to know what caused to him to be in such a state.

     “Woohyun…?” He sees the slightest shiver from him along with a slight sniffle.

     “What’s wrong?” No reaction.

     “Hey. Answer me.”

     “Don’t be like this now.”

     “Woohyun.” Sunggyu sees Woohyun fidget around a little in his uncomfortable position. He sighs upon seeing the latter so vulnerable and sits on the edge of the bed, right next to him.

     Sunggyu continues to get the other to do at least something again, “You can tell me anything, y’know.”

     Woohyun only shakes his head, without looking at the elder in front of him. He wonders if Sunggyu will find him annoying and just walk out the door.

      “I’m not going anywhere.” Sunggyu states as if he read his mind, “And you’re going to tell me what the hell is wrong with you or else I’ll have no choice but to use force.”

      The younger doesn’t respond so Sunggyu did exactly what he said; he rips Woohyun’s arms from hugging himself and holds them by the wrist.

     “Look at me.” Woohyun doesn’t even have the energy to struggle so he has no choice but to look up at Sunggyu, who is beyond shocked after seeing his face.

     His nose is red while his eyes are puffy and his cheeks are filled with dried tears streaming out of his eyes. Seeing Sunggyu’s face only causes him to cry even more and his face is messed up all over again. He sniffles again and the older of the two is speechless.

     Since when did Woohyun turn like this? All defenseless, fragile, and delicate?

     Sunggyu snaps back to reality when he sees Woohyun having lack of oxygen and is forced to hiccup several times before quietly sobbing his eyes out again. Without thinking, he leans in and gently place his right hand on to the back of the younger’s head, setting the endless tears in his own shoulders as he hugs Woohyun worriedly. His right hand is patting his head while the left one is smoothing the latter’s back up and down to calm him in the slightest way possible.

     And then slowly, he feels both of Woohyun’s hands gripping on the back of his shirt tightly while the younger buries his head more into his own shoulder.

     “Shhhh. Don’t cry anymore,” Sunggyu comforts kindly with that soft voice he used to use whenever Woohyun got hurt in the past. “Hyung is here. It’s okay now. ”

     The situation stays like this for the next few minutes with Sunggyu soothing Woohyun while he cries with muffled sobs and occasional hiccups. Woohyun starts to become more aware of his surroundings and realizes he’s being held by Sunggyu, who’s whispering those insanely sweet words that prevents him from crying anymore.

     In Woohyun’s opinion, Sunggyu is way too nice. He sacrifices his precious time just to make him stop crying and continues to make Woohyun feel like everything in the world is okay again so effortlessly. But it’s not; everything is flipped over and inside-out and it’s killing Woohyun as he feels another sharp jab through his body again.

     Sunggyu releases the hug and makes Woohyun look at them straight in the eyes. Woohyun stares back at those orbs that are filled with unease and restlessness.  And he sees it once again, those eyes that have something secretive about it and appears every so often in Sunggyu.

     “Did something happen while I was away?” Sunggyu asked, still in his soft voice. “Did you… break up with her?”

     Woohyun smiled sourly, “I got dumped. Pathetic, aren’t I?”

     “Don’t s-“

     “And I’m not even upset about that. At first, I thought it was because I’m still in denial, but I wasn’t…” He continues on, “I moved on just like that. There were no moments where I’d miss her and I kept all the gifts she made but still, nothing happened. I was waiting… you know? For that phase everyone goes through after a breakup in a relationship. But it never came to me. I didn’t miss her.”

     “What kind of a person am I? That’s horrible, I’m disgusted with myself.” Woohyun admits daringly, his nose and eyes are still red and he’s still sniffling every once in a while. Sunggyu listens to every single word that comes out of his mouth, never interrupting, and is always focusing.

     “But it’s not all that bad,” Woohyun forces a tiny small, “It helped me realize something that I was never really aware of, I guess that’s the positive aspect of looking at it. Plus, Dongwoo-hyung is a great friend, and he took really good care of me while I was being like this.”

     “So…” Sunggyu starts out carefully, still aware of Woohyun’s glassy eyes with tears threatening to spill if he said the wrong words, “Do you want to get back together with her?”

     “I don’t know. Do I?”

     “You tell me, Woohyun, because I’m not you.”

     “How am I supposed to know?”

     “You… should go see her again.” Sunggyu states with a firm voice, “If she was someone special to you, and she made you happy, then isn’t that all it matters?”

     For some reason, those words hurt like hell.

     “Hyung…” A couple of sniffle along with an occasional hiccup escapes Woohyun’s mouth.

     “Then go after her.” Sunggyu gives that warm and breath-taking smile to the younger, “Tell her to give you another chance.”

     And the sight of seeing that is enough to make Woohyun speechless and cry all over again.

     He stops thinking and speaking; waiting there for a few seconds before it happened. Tear followed by another tear starts to fall freely from Woohyun’s eyes. He doesn’t do anything to stop them from re-staining his face though; he sits there, and lets them roam all over before finally dropping to white sheet of the bed. His nose is now redder and his eyes are even more swollen than before. And those never-ending hiccupping starts again as he loses even more oxygen through his sobs.

     Sunggyu immediately regrets what he said. Perhaps that was too much for Woohyun, he thought to himself. He wants to stop those drips from trickling down that face but he can’t. And just looking at Woohyun being so weak is killing him. The image of it gnaws its way into his brain, as if confirming his greatest nightmare.

     “I-I…love…y-y-you…” Woohyun barely chokes out in such a low volume that Sunggyu almost didn’t catch what he was saying, but he does. Sunggyu suddenly recognizes that Woohyun was too touched by his advice. He grins, realizing that the latter isn’t upset but he’s overwhelmed with happiness.

     So, Sunggyu simply replies with his lips curved slightly up, “Yeah, I love you too, Woohyun.”

     The final assault stabs Woohyun straight in the heart and he begins to break down when he realizes what Sunggyu was thinking when he said those words. After hearing them, he shakes his head violently, causing the elder to frown in confusion.

     Woohyun desperately tries to make him understand what he meant, “Not like that.”

     Which makes Sunggyu look even more confused, and he questions, “What do you mean?”

     That’s when the younger quickly leans in without thinking and connects Sunggyu’s lips to his very own. It’s a light, soft, and a gentle press of their lips together that causes Woohyun to almost shiver at the coldness of Sunggyu’s lip (due being outside not a long time ago.)

     Sunggyu widens his eyes only to see even more droplets plummeting down Woohyun’s cheek. His body turns stiff and he sits there like a statue. He doesn’t respond to the kiss but he unknowingly tastes the saltiness of the tears with his lips.

     The younger of the two waits for Sunggyu to push him away and get scared of him immediately. However, three seconds seem to have past and there was still none of what Woohyun was expecting. And so, he withdraws the kiss himself so that Sunggyu can be free and leave him, because the last thing he wants is to force Sunggyu into all this mess he got himself into.

     Woohyun then forces himself to not look at Sunggyu’s face; he doesn’t want to see his best friend looking at him in such a sickening way, disturbed by what he just did. The tears never stop and it doesn’t matter anymore. His hands cover his own face to avoid any eye contact and all he sees is darkness with a tiny glimpse of light that bothers him to no end.

---

A/N: This is where you say, "Well that escalated quickly." I hate dragging things out lul. Next part is the last. Wow, it's so cliché, sorry.