Please excuse any mistakes.

Closing your door, you pressed your back against it and slid to the floor. Trying not to let the sobs escape your lips, you hugged your knees tighter to your chest. Profusely rubbing your eyes, you tried to dry the tears before they poured out.

When did you become so… miserable?

Why were you so empty? When were you so empty? You couldn’t quite remember, what you could remember was you didn’t want to be here anymore. The pain seemed to get more painful; the days seemed to be a thousand times longer. Each passing second was filled with more disappointment than the last.

Banging your head against the door, you bit your lip. Telling yourself to stop crying, you started to hit your head. Looking toward your window, you watched as the rain drops crashed against your window. Swallowing a shaky breath, you shook your head.

Just end it already.

You thought to yourself. Widening your eyes, the tears finally fell. Unable to contain the pain that you’ve been holding in for what seemed like an eternity, you cried. Burying your face into your palms you cried, and cried.

Kill yourself. It doesn’t matter anymore. What’s the point of going on when all you are is a big ball of misery.

Afraid of what you might convince yourself to do, you grabbed your phone. Opening your contacts, you scrolled down until you found his name. Hands shaking you sent him a text.

                I think I need help.

After what seemed like a lifetime, you felt your phone vibrate.

                Help? With what?

-          Sunggyu

Not being able to find the courage to tell him about your emotional breakdown, you threw your phone to the side. No one understood anything. No one knew you. They didn’t know who you really were. You were just always the happy go lucky girl that everyone went to when they needed a shoulder to lean on.

But there was never a shoulder for you to lean on. Never.

Trying to relax yourself, you looked at your ceiling.

“Don’t do anything stupid.”

You whispered to yourself. Looking at the multiple bottles of pills that laid in front of you, you felt fresh hot tears gather at the corner of your eyes. your lips, you looked away.

You wanted to end everything, you really did you were just too scared to.

Rubbing your eyes, you listened as the raindrops fell.

What are you waiting for, just do it already.

Feeling an uncomfortable sensation grow throughout your stomach, you covered your mouth. Running to the bathroom, you sat on the floor in front of the toilet. Thinking about ending your own life made you sick to your stomach. It made you hate yourself even more.

Standing up, you brushed your teeth. Ruffling your hair, you walked toward your bed. You hated what you became, but it was that same hatred that got you here in the first place.

“I should sleep before I do something stupid.”

You woke up to the sound rain. Looking to your left, you watched as the rain hit your window, begging for entrance.

“What were you going to do last night?”

Not even startled by his voice, you turned your head. Sunggyu stood there, holding the various bottles of medication in both hands. He looked angry.

How sweet. You thought to yourself.

Sighing, you rolled over, your back facing him. He said your name harshly, wanting a clear explanation as to why you had various medicines laying around your bedroom floor. Closing your eyes, you wished he would just go away.

Hearing his footsteps walk way, you looked up to see him carrying the bottles to the bathroom.  Confused, you watched as he opened all the bottles and dumped them all into the toilet. Widening your eyes, you screamed for him to stop and ran into the bathroom.

You tried to take the remaining pills away from him, but it was too late. Before you could reach him, he flushed the toilet. Crying, you started to hit him. He turned and faced you and you continued to bang on his chest.

“Why?!” Was all you managed to yell in between sobs. Balling your hands into his shirt, you continued to sob, looking down at the floor. With shaky hands, he slowly wrapped his arms around you.

Finding no strength in tearing yourself away from him, you stood there as he embraced you.

“Why?” He managed to whisper. He sounded so broken, so lost.

“Because I’m tired.”

“Of what?”

“Of everything.”