November 27th, 2012

        Dear Ilji,

     Nothing much happened yesterday that's why I didn't write in you, Sorry. But If you are still curious, all I did was ride around with Baekhyun and the baby while eomma went to work. This morning was really stressful. I had to go back to school today because I couldn't miss too many absences. The problem was I had to cover up all the bruises.

"Jun Min don't take off your blazer okay? I don't want you to get taken away." Eomma instructed. I nodded and watched as he attempted to put make up on my face. The make-up felt really gross and I didn't want it on, but I want to stay with eomma. I don't want to go away. 15 minutes of putting that powder on and I was done, or so I thought. I looked in the mirror and saw eomma wasn't an expert with make-up. My eye was a complete darker shade than my complexion. This wasn't going to work, I am never going to see eomma again if I get taken away. I started to cry which made eomma cry.

"I'm so sorry! I will make sure he never does this again. I just want you to stay with me but I'm not helping." He sobbed.

"C'mon there will not be anymore crying this morning. No one is losing anybody okay? Kyungsoo I made you breakfast so eat while I fix the make-up. You got the wrong shade of cover up."  Baekhyun came in the room and took me to his and Chanyeol's room. He sat me down and wiped the other make-up eomma did and tears from my face before applying other make-up.

"I swear if your eomma doesn't leave that idiot, I will kill him." Baekhyun spat. My eyes grew wide and I looked at him, I was on the verge of tears.

"Your appa sweetie, not your eomma I would never kill your eomma. But your father, that's a different story." He half hugged me (because hugs still hurt right now) and continued. When he was done it didn't even look like I had a black eye. Baekhyun was always the best when it came to make-up.

"Go eat breakfast with Hyun Seo and I'll drop you two off at school okay?" He smiled and I nodded.

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  I saw Mr.Lee today and he said it was quiet without me. His jokes are so cute! He helped me with the make-up work and it was the best =^.^=

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I'm in the classroom with Suho and it is really hot. I don't know who turned up the heat but I think I'm going to die and I can't take this blazer off.

"Jun Min you look hot. Take off your blazer." Suho suggested but I shook my head.

I'm fine

I can see you sweating. Take off the blazer or you might have a heat .

I told you I'm fine.

"Jun Min!" He raised his voice. I jumped because he never raises his voice. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to shout...Chen was nagging all day yesterday and he's been craving things such as fruits that's out of season."

I told you he was going to be a handful and he's only a couple of weeks. Wait till he gets into the 3rd trimester, I pray for you.

You really need to stop reading every book you can find. You know more about pregnancy than I think a doctor knows about it. Atleast you don't know how to deliver the baby.

Yes I do, you have to o-

"That's enough talk of pregnancy. You're only 7...let's finish your make up work." He smiled.

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I'm in the guidance counselor again. Not because I got kicked out but something really odd happened. I will tell you;

    After I finished up my lessons it was time for English with Mr.Key and Mr.Kim. I was still sweating bullets from the heat in the classroom.

"It's nice of you to join us Mr.Kim" Mr.Key half smiled. I cringed at the fact he called me by that name. I took a seat in the back of the classroom and Jimae was the first to say something.

"Jun Min why weren't you here yesterday or the day before?" She asked and I ignored her. "You're sweating a lot! Do you need water? I have water! Do you want some water? I didn't put my mouth on it."

I shook my head and she still pulled out the water. I sighed when she opened it up and put it to my face.

"Here Jun Min! Drink it!" She smiled while putting it closer to my mouth. I kept shaking my head no but she kept putting it towards my face. I was so fed up that I ended up swatting the water bottle but me being the most unlucky person, the water got on my face and I felt the make-up beginning to drip. I immediately put my head down and ignored everything she was yelling.

"Jun Min put your head up and say sorry verbally." Mr.Key ordered but I kept my head down. "Jun Min listen to what I say or I will lift your head up myself."

I still kept my head down and I could feel his patience running low. Next thing I know I felt him grab my arm attempting to pull me up but I ended up screaming because it hurt. Mr.Key flinched. "Jun Min please look up at me."

I hesistantly looked up at him while trembling because of the cold water Jimae decided to have and the make-up was still dripping. Mr.Key had his mouth gaped open. "Come outside with me, Jimae do your work."

  I grabbed my things with one hand covering my eye and headed out to the hallway with him. I stood against the wall awkwardly while he examined me closely. "Did your appa do this?" He asked and I continued to look away while my eyes started to water. Mr. Key took out his phone and began to dial a number.

"Hello Mr.Kim it's Jun Min's English teacher and I wanted to tell you that I found bruises on him and he has a black eye. Care to explain?"

'Yes, he fell a couple of times.'

"Mr.Kim I know that you're lying. What if I call child services on you?"

'What if your boyfriend found out about your secret affair with Mr.Nam Woohyun?'

"You wouldn't dare."

'Oh I would dare Mr.Key and ruin your whole engagement? Oh that sounds perfect.' 

Mr.Key hung up the phone and huffed. I've seen him angry but never this angry before. It's actually reall scary. I didn't expect him to hug me though, that was really weird. "Jun Min I'm sorry for how I treated you before. It wasn't right for me to do."

 I nodded and he led me to the guidance counselor. Ms.Sulli nearly had a heart attack when she saw me. Mr.Choi was angry and Taemin had a shocked look on his face.

"What happened." Mr.Choi glared.

"His appa...." Mr.Key mouthed.

"Let me talk to Jun Min. Go teach your class." Mr.Choi instructed and Mr.Key listened. I took a seat in my usual chair and waited for Mr.Choi to say something but he kept looking at me.

"You know we are going to have to call child services right?" Mr.Choi raised an eyebrow. I broke out into tears just thinking about losing eomma.

Taemin got up and started hugging me. "Shhhh, don't cry just write what you want to say."

Please don't call I don't want to lose my eomma

You can stay with your eomma Jun Min

No. I read these cases before...they would take me since eomma let it happen and tried to cover it up. It would only work if we got a restraining order.

Do you want me to tell your eomma to file one?

I thought about  it for awhile. Taemin still had his arms wrapped around me while I thought carefully about it. A restraining order meant that appa couldn't be around eomma and I. That would be great but eomma still loves him.

No don't file anything...just let it slide but if it happens again I'll take the decision into consideration.

Jun Min there might not be a next time...what if he goes to far?

He's not. The eye was accidental...also he was drinking heavily. I'm the victim here so I should be able to make the decison. Though I am a child who has limited wisdom because of my age...I choose not to report him.

Mr.Choi stared at the paper for awhile before sighing. "Fine, if it's what you want."

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I'm in appas office again but this time it's really different. When I was in the guidance counselor writing appa came inside and requested to sign me out.

"I don't think I should let you sign him out. Who knows what you will do." Mr.Choi said.

"It's my child, My signature is signed on his student application and transcript so I have the right to sign him out." Appa spoke. Mr.Choi glared at him until he finally came to a decision

"Fine, but if I see one more bruise because of you, you're getting reported." Mr.Choi spat.

"You won't see another one...Come on Jun Min" Appa said before picking me up. That was unexpected. When he carried me out I waved goodbye to everyone in the office. I didn't know what was going to happen. When we got to his car he carefully put me in the back seat and even put my seat belt on for me (I'm not a baby I could have done it myself). He then drove off, I'm guessing to his job. 

   The car ride was filled with an awkward silence, I know he wasn't expecting me to start a conversation.

"Jun Min....did I really do that to you?" He asked and I slowly nodded my head. It got quiet again until I noticed something on his cheek, it was a tear! "I-i'm sorry that I hurt you...I know you hate me but I promise I won't hurt you again."

  I really didn't expect that to come out of his mouth. He was right, I did hate him and no matter how many apologies he said I would still hate him. Why was he shedding tears? Was it out of pity? Does he feel bad for me? He has a lot of nerves to cry about something he caused.

 When we got to his job he continued to baby me and he picked me up and carried me into the office. Did he have another father son dinner? Why was I here? I didn't want anyone to see my black eye so I hid my face on his shoulder. Once we got to his office he sat me down on one of his chairs and sat down at his. He continued to look at me quietly while I awkwardly looked down.

"Are you hungry?" He asked. I shook my head no. "Are you thirsty?"I still shook my head no.

"Tell me if you need anything okay? I have to go get something, If my boss comes here just say hello okay?"

I nodded my head and he left. I sat there for a minute or two thinking why he changed so suddenly...I'm still not believing that he's nice. My thoughts got interrupted when his door opened and Mr.Panda came in.

"Jun Min! What happened?!" He quickly came up to me and picked me up. I didn't say anything because you know. "You still lost your voice?"

I nodded my head.

"Write down what happened." He instructed as he sat me down.  While I got out my notepad I was thinking about telling Mr.Panda about what appa did but even I wouldn't stoop that low.

I got jumped by a bunch of 4th graders in school a couple of days ago

Oh! Did you get atleast one good punch out of it?

No...it was one 7 year old against five 9 years olds, one had a stick.

Did you tell on them?

Appa told their parents....

You have a really good father Jun Min

Do I really Mr. Panda?

"Well I'll see you later." He smiled before leaving. As he headed for the door appa came inside with something behind his back."You are a great father Jongin."

Appa looked confused.

"What did you tell him?" He asked and I looked over at the notepad. He read it carefully.

"I really don't deserve a son like you...You should've just told and made me suffer..."

'I should've but I chose not to' is what I wanted to say. I was still curious about what he had behind his back

"Oh yeah Jun Min...I'm sorry I ripped your book. I know you enjoyed it very much and you didnt get to finish it so here's another one." He put the book on the table. It was a brand new one and it looked beautiful. All i wanted to do was snatch it and crawl into a corner to read it but I couldn't.

Do you think you can buy me things to make me like you?

No but I want us to have a stronger relationship and this is where I want to start off.

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Ilji the book is still on the table and it's mocking me....it keeps telling me to read it but I can't. I will feel vulnerable if I read the book.

I will not read that book

I will not read that book

I will not read that book

I will not read that book

I will not read tha-

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  Okay I read 5 chapters and I feel guilty but oh my god it was so good. I want to read more.....I'm going to read more.

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While I was reading the book my tummy started rumbling and appa heard it.

"Are you hungry?" He asked. I shook my head. "I can hear your stomach, I'll be  right back."

  He left again and came back with a cup of instant ramen and a strawberry milk carton, two of my favorite things.

He sat it down in front of me and I stared at it. Did I really want to eat this? What if he poisoned it?

"Is it too hot for you to eat?" He asked. I took the chopsticks and picked up some noodles and brought it over to his mouth. If it was poisoned he would die first. He looked confused at first but he opened his mouth and ate the noodles. "T-thank you Jun Min."

  So it wasn't poisoned....Ilji I will be right back I must devour this food.

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After work appa drove me back to Baekhyun's house.

"I hope you weren't too uncomfortable Jun Min and please continue to read the book okay?" He asked and I nodded. He picked me up and brought me to the front door. Before he could even knock eomma opened the door and snatched me out of his grasp. Eomma had tears running down his cheek.

"You have a lot of nerves kidnapping him!" Eomma screamed.

"I didn't kidnap him, I signed him out."

"Why didn't you ask for my permission first?! Even if you did ask I would've still said no! You hurt him in the past and I can't trust you! I nearly had a heart attack when Hyun Seo called me and said he couldn't find Jun Min! I had to call the school to find out you signed him out. I thought I would never see my baby again!" Eomma cried while trying to talk.

"Kyungsoo....I'm sorry." Appa tried to touch Eommas cheek but Eomma slapped it away.

"Don't touch me.Don't touch Jun Min. Just go away! We hate you and we don't want you in ou-!"

"Kyungsoo!" Appa shouted and both eomma and I jumped. "Listen to me carefully. I'm sorry. You don't know how sorry I am for what I caused. When I picked Jun Min up today I saw the bruises and almost cried..I let my anger and get out of proportions...I lost trust because of the past....and I want this broken family to strengthen. I want to come home to a family that smiles all the time, no tears, no shouting, none of that. I just want to say I'm sorry and I will try my best to make this family whole again."

"What's with all this I bull! You selfish son of a gun! You want to come home to a family that smiles all the time,no tears, no shouting.Our home is like that until you come home. Don't think I'm just going to accept an apology so easily.I still love you but don't think I'm that gullable. You have a long way to go to even think of me considering your apology. You think I don't know about your little affair with Sooyoung?! Was that your way of trying to get back at me?! What happened to me was a sick misunderstanding! You weren't there for me or Jun Min when we hit rock bottom...Jun Min,Baekhyun,Jongdae,Yixing,Joonmyeon,Kris, all of them were there to help us except for you. You wasted your nights drinking while we were hurting. You may have been hurting too but you were too self absorbed to even listen to what really happened. I have nothing else to say to you. I hope you have a good night." Eomma shut the door.

"I'm glad you're okay Jun Min...Now let's get you ready for bed.

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I really don't know what to expect from appa in the future...and I'm still curious about the past.

Good night Ilji~

----------------------------------------------Author Note---------------------------------------------------------

Wasn't in an angsty mood to right this...thank you all for subscribing and commenting! I suffered from writers block with this chapter and it was fustrating. I had to sit down and lock myself out from society to try and write this but Oh, Jongin wants forgivness?Will Kyungsoo and Jun Min accept it?