November 24th,2012

             Dear Ilji,

   I'm not going to explain much about my morning because it was the same as yesterday. Except eomma and appa didn't talk at all, which is a good thing. Hyun Seo and I walked to school again like always....and now I'm in 1st period.

          The schedule is different today since it's a B day. Instead of having Suho I have Mr.Kang, my second teacher crush, for history. Mr.Kang has very distinctive features and that's what makes me like him even more. Sometimes I get jealous when I see him with security guard Tabi...I just like to think they're just friends. Today Mr.Kang was talking about how South Korea became what it is today, nothing big.

-------next block because nothing happened------------

    I'm in 2nd block now, which is music with Mr. Kwon or what he prefers. Mr.Dragon. He's really cool, I look up to him. Today he's going to teach everyone how to play the piano. I always wanted to know how to play it. Lay tried to teach me how to play it, but he left to China before I could get the basics down. Mr.Dragon understands me a lot even though I don't talk. I think he knows how to read minds, since he's that great.

"Are you ready to learn how to play the piano?" He smiled. I eagerly nodded my head."Put the journal down and we can start practicing."

-------------------next block--------------------------

 Mr.Dragon taught me a lot. Now I know all the keys on the piano in order. So I'm good to go. This block is really the most entertaining class I have,Drama with Mr.Kwon. This man is truly a diva though he's in love with one of the dance teachers, Ms.Gain. Their relationship is so cute, I can just watch them get all lovey-dovey for hours. Mr.Kwon lets me sit on the side and watch the other kids perform. If I want to get a grade, I have to write critiques on the performances. Today the kids had to do their monologues and Jimae was up first. 

I hope she barfs....

-------------next block (which was my lunch time until)--------------------

    To my luck she did end up barfing all over the place...she's such an idiot. Mr.Kwon made me take her to the nurses office. As we were walking to the nurse she was grabbing onto me and putting her head on my shoulder. I attempted to shoo her away but she kept saying 

"I don't feel good I want my mommy!" She was even staining my shirt with her tears and snot. She's disguisting....We waited for Nurse Himchan to check on her,for like 30 minutes (he was talking to the 4th grade gym teacher Yongguk) but then my science teacher came into the nurse office and said.

"Awww you guys are a cute couple" I didn't want him to think we were together! She's really ruining my chances with him. I just wanted to scream out this is not what it looks like but I couldn't. Instead I just let her go and made my way to the gym because lunch was over. Since this is gym I can't write much since I have to play. The gym teacher is Ms.Jungs' sister. 

------------------after school---------------------------------------------

 Ilji I think you should know this. Hyun Seo and I are in appa's car and we both don't know why. When we were leaving school appa came by and told us both to get in the car. He said:

"C'mon Jun Min get in the car and Hyun Seo I'll take you home because I don't want you walking all by yourself."

"..Okay Mr.Kim" Hyun Seo stuttered.

"Call me Jongin." Appa smiled.

Both Hyun Seo and I got in the car and Hyun Seo texted from his phone immediately

What is happening...

I don't know but I'm kind of scared

I'll pray for you.

"Hyun Seo, Baekhyun gave you that phone?" Appa asked.

"Yes, it was a birthday present." Hyun Seo replied.

"Maybe I should get you one Jun Min." He smiled again. Who is this man Ilji? Me and Hyun Seo continued to sit there awkwardly until we finally ended up at the  Park House.

"Thanks Jongin....bye Jun Min." Hyun Seo waved before closing the car door.

"Tell your parents I said hello!" Appa chimed. "Jun Min get in the front seat."

    Appa is really stupid. Doesn't he know a child can only sit in the front seat when they're 12 or if they reach the weight requirement of 80 pounds? I can tell you this right now I am not 80 pounds. I went up to the front seat and Appa drove off. I didn't know where we were going, we were traveling in Busan somewhere. Appa didn't even attempt to start a conversation because he know he'd end up just talking to himself. Our final destination was the parking lot to his job...why were we here?

"Listen to my orders I'm about to tell you. We are here because there is a father son dinner and I want to impress my boss. When we go inside I want you to change into the outfit I've prepared for you in the bathroom. Pretend you like me and I'll pretend I like you. If you screw up, I'll become your worst nightmare. Got it?"

No wonder I'm here...I nodded my head and waited for further instructions. I'm in the bathroom now changing into this outift he's making me wear. He gave me  some black skinny jeans, a white long sleeve with horizontal navy blue stripes, and a navy blue pear of Sperry Top-Siders. Appa has good taste in style but it doesn't fit me....I have to go because appa is telling me to hurry up. I'll tell you how it goes.  I have to test my acting skills.

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Appa is mad at me, he's going to kill me. I'm in the car again now and I can tell appa is mad. I almost blew it at the dinner. When we went to the dining hall where the dinner was being held, there was a lot of kids my age playing and laughing. Appa's boss went up to us and greeted us with warm smiles. I bowed 90 degrees and Appa's boss, i think his name was Mr.Lee Seunghyun or something...I'll call him Mr.Panda, asked me to say something but I just looked at him.

"He lost his voice, so he's not supposed to talk." Appa lied and put his hand on my shoulder.

"Oh, Well I hope you get better little man" Mr.Panda ruffled my hair and went back to the table with the guys.

"Go play with the kids or something..." Appa pushed me and went following behind his boss. I hesitantly went over to the group of boys that were my age. They all greeted me happily but all I could do was bow. 

"Did you lose your voice?" One of them asked me and I nodded. Yeah I lost my voice...for 5 years. The boys sat on the floor and went around the social circle talking about their appa's and how muched they loved them. 

"Does your appa take you places?" One of the boys asked me. I shook my head while staring at the ground.

"Oh." He looked away and started to ask questions to the guy next to him. These kids were really aggravating. They need to stop bragging about their appa's. There are some people who like their eomma. If he asked me questions such as do you like your eomma? Does your eomma take you places? Do you love your eomma? I would proudly nod my head. but no this same kid kept asking and sharing stories about appa's. The adults even gathered around to hear what the kids had to say. It was my turn to answer a question.

"Do you like your appa?" Mr.Pandas son asked. I shook my head and everyones eyes got wide.

"He doesn't like me, he loves me right Jun Min?" Appa smiled but there was a deathly glare in his eyes. I smiled widly as I nodded my head and hugged him.

Everyone awed and said things such as "So cute!" "Adorable!" "They have a special bond!" They were all wrong. When appa hugged me he squeezed me a little too tight. 

"You almost blew it....be prepared." He whispered in my ear.

"Let's eat kiddos!" Mr.Panda ran over to the food. I think his son acts more mature than him. I didn't have the apetite to eat because I was scared of the punishment I was going to recieve when I got home.

We're outside the house now....I'm scared Ilji.

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[tear stain] He hit me. Not once but 10 times....when we got out of the car he told me to go change into my pajamas. Which I started to do but when i lifted my arms up to take off the shirt he grabbed my wrist roughly and lifted me up by the arm. I thought he was going to dislocate my shoulder. I started to whimper but that changed into screams and crying when he hit me hard on my  .

"I. told. you. you. would.recieve.a. punishment!" he hit the same spot with each word each time his hand got heavier. [tear stain] He dropped me onto the floor.

"Shutup or I will hit you again! You almost ruined my opprotunity for a promotion! You deserved to get hit! Why must you be my son?You're weird and you look just like that bastard you call your eomma! You both can go die!" He spat as he slammed my door.[tear stain] I remained on the floor because my back stung so much when I moved. I stayed there for an hour crying until I got up and cried under my covers, which I'm under now .....eomma's home. 

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 Eomma came in my room to make sure I was okay, which I wasn't. I stayed under the covers sniffling and eomma sat next to me.

"What's wrong?" he panicked when he lifted my covers and saw me all teary-eyed. When I didn't answer he went to touch my back but I flinched really hard. Eomma removed the cover that was covering my back and he saw hand prints beginning to bruise on my skin.

"Did your appa do this?" He asked and I ended up sobbing again. Eomma kissed my forehead before getting up and slamming the door behind him.

"Jongin get out here right now!" Eomma yelled.

"Who the hell do you think you're talking to?" Appa shouted.

"Obviously you! Why did you hurt him?!"

"He almost ruined my chance of getting a promotion."

"That's no excuse to beat him, he's your child Jongin! You don't hit your child like that!"

"You know what happened in the past! It could have happened again" Appa screamed. It got quiet until I heard someone slam a door. Then I heard crying....it was eomma.

"I don't have time for this nonsense I'm leaving." Appa grabbed his car keys and left. Don't ever come back..Unfortunately he always does.....

   Eomma is not going to cry because of this idiot...not tonight.

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Eomma's sleeping now. I'm right next to him on his bed and I'm not leaving. I walked in to find him sobbing.....he kept mumbling things but I couldn't make it out. The only thing I did hear was 'I was hurt'..

What was he talking about? The only thing I could do was rub his back and hope for the best...

"I love you Jun Min"  Eomma said half sleep. I love you too eomma, is what I wanted to say so bad....I gave him a kiss on the forehead and hugged him. 

I'm going to sleep Ilji....Goodnight.