Listen to this song, while reading; thank you^^ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHkvan-NFnM

“E-excuse me,” I quietly said with my cheeks turning lightly reddish. Donghae looked at me and examined me from head to toe, without recognizing me.

“W-who are you?” he asked. You could hear in his voice that he was freezing.

“You don’t remember me?” I asked and quickly chuckled. “Of course you wouldn’t, since it passed three years already.” I looked at his chocolate brown eyes that were confused by everything I said. “We were classmates. Do you remember that ugly, fat, nerd with glasses in your class?” I asked. He lightly nodded. “That’s me,” I smiled as I pointed at myself.

“J-Jinjja!?” he squealed surprised. I nodded embarrassed. “You’ve changed so much.” He smiled and suddenly sneezed. I looked at him from head to toe, seeing he’s only in trousers and long sleeve, while outside it’s -20°C.

I chuckled as I took my hat and scarf off me and put it on him. “That’s better,” I smiled and took his hand, which was cold, and started walking towards my apartment.

“W-where are we going?” he asked, sounding a little scared.

“To my apartment,” I smiled as I glanced at him. He was quietly following me, when we reached my apartment which was just few streets away. After we walked inside, I put my coat down and looked at freezing Donghae.

“Would you like tea?” I asked. He lightly nodded, caressing his shoulders, to make him warmer. “Make yourself at home.” I smiled and walked into kitchen, where I put the water on electric stove for tea.

“Your apartment is nice.” He said after I back came into living room, where he was looking at some pictures on bookshelf, next to books.

“Thank you,” I smiled. He looked at me, smiling, and then around.

“You’re living alone?” he asked and glanced at me. I nodded as I was observing him. “How come? I always thought you’re living with your parents.” He murmured, moreover to himself.

“I’m living here for ten years already,” I smiled. He quickly turned around, looking at me surprised. “I always made my living alone, by photographing celebrities and singing.”

“What about your parents?” he asked and stopped at the picture of my family, where mom, dad, my brother and I were on.

“They, kind of, abandoned me.” I chuckled awkwardly and right when he tried to ask something, the water boiled. “Just a minute,” I said and walked into kitchen.

To tell the truth, I didn’t want to talk about my parents. They didn’t abandon me, but they died in a car accident, eight years ago, where only my brother, Dae Hyun, survived. After the accident, we kept in touch, but not as much as before, since we went our own way, him going to Germany to work as ceramist, while I stayed here, to continue my career.

I turned off the electric stove and poured water in two cups with tea, especially for cold times. Then I walked back into living room, where Donghae was sitting on the couch, looking at pictures in school album that we got at the end of high school.

“Here,” I smiled and put his cup down.

“Thanks,” he smiled and took a cup with one hand, while he was still going thru school album. Holding my cup in my hands, I was looking at album as well as glancing over Donghae from time to time. My feelings for him still haven’t vanished; they were still here, deep inside my heart, breaking out again.

After we both looked at the whole album, he put it on the table and we started talking about ourselves. No one knew about my parents and my brother, only our class teacher and principal. My background … is still a mystery to everyone.

Since it was already too late and he was locked out of his dorm, I suggested to him that he can sleep here. Surprisingly he agreed. I smiled as I walked into my room for blanket and pillow, since I only had one small bed, which was in my bedroom, and one small couch in living room. I quickly prepared couch, so it could be comfortable. In the mean time he went into bathroom to refresh himself and after he came back he quickly made his way under the blanket.

“If it’ll be cold, just say it.” I said. He nodded and I walked back into my room, where I changed into pajama – white shorts and white top.

***

Now, four years later, in winter again, I’m standing here, in front of mirror in my bathroom, while you’re watching the TV. I thought sighing as I glanced towards doors, from where I heard the noise of TV. I sighed again and took my jeans off, since I was about to take a shower. Throwing jeans on the floor and stepping out, I took off my big T-shirt, so I was standing just in my black underwear. I examined my body, seeing stretch marks on my lower abdomen, from losing my weight.

After undressing underwear as well, I made my way into bathtub, where water was already reaching more than half, with bubbles to the top. I slowly drowned in the water, holding my breath for how long I could and then went back on the surface.

“Do you still love me, Donghae-ah?” I asked myself, hoping that he didn’t hear me. Looking into the ceiling I realized that everything is quiet outside the bathroom. I bit my lower lip, glancing towards doors, hoping that he won’t walk inside, though he saw me few times already, but then I remembered … I don’t have my pajama here.

“Oh great,” I cursed sighing and drowned myself again, this time longer than before.

“Rae Jin-ah?” I heard Donghae’s voice from above. I went back on the surface, seeing him looking inside.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“Nothing,” he smiled. “Just checking up where you are.” He said and closed the doors. I blankly stared into doors, until I pulled myself together, going under water, for the third time already, wishing to die.

I just wanted to disappear, since Donghae started showing less interest in me whenever we’re going out or when we’re home. I feel like, he’s my second brother, with whom I sleep in the same bed every night. We were acting like siblings.

***

“Rae Jin-ah,” called Donghae from living room, after I walked out of the bathroom into bedroom in my underwear.

“Yeah?” I asked, without turning around.

“Come here,” he said, hearing the tapping of the sofa.

“Wait a minute. I’ll just put my pajama on.” I said from bedroom and lied on the bed. I didn’t want to go into living room, sitting with him. It would make me feel strange, stupid and awkward. It just wasn’t the same anymore. Lying on my stomach in the bed with closed eyes, I started dreaming, or … was it real?

“Yah, Rae Jin, I think told you to come to living room?” whined Donghae as he lifted me in bridal style and walked out into living room, where he sat down, with me on his lap.

“W-what are you doing?” I stuttered, embarrassed, since I was only in underwear and him with his clothes on. On top of that, I didn’t want for him to see the marks of losing weight. He barely saw them; he knew about it, but this time he clearly saw them.

“I told you,” he smirked and kissed my nose. “You should listen to me, and come into living room, instead of sleeping.” He chuckled and with one hand took something from the table and placed it on my lap. It was our album; album of pictures of us, ever since we got together.

“Do you remember when we first met in high school?” he suddenly asked. My eyes widened as I looked at him. He smiled, looking into album. I followed his look and my eyes widened even more as I saw a picture of our class.

“T-this…” I murmured and slowly touch it.

“Yeah, it was our first picture. If you look closely, don’t you think that someone is glancing at you, which no one realized and saw, even now?” he asked and pointed at dark brunette boy; him. I looked closely at him and I was right. He wasn’t looking at the photographer; instead, he was looking at chubby girl with glasses.

“Since when?” I asked and looked at him.

“Since the first day,” he smiled and kissed me on the cheek. I blushed and smiled a little.

“Then why didn’t you talk to me or speak a word with me?” I asked.

“I was afraid.” He admitted. “I tried to protect you when you were bullied, but I was afraid that they’ll bully you even more if I’ll do anything. On top of that, you were strong; I saw that in your eyes.” He smiled, making me blush again. “What about you?” he asked.

“Eh?” I was confused.

“What about you? Why didn’t you talk or speak to me?” he repeated.

“Same,” I smiled. “I was afraid. On top of that, any girl who dated or even talke to popular guy in school was called , or even worse, ... actually, those are the same things.” I said and bit my lower lip, looking back at the picture. “And who would even want to date this ugly, fat nerd?” I added.

“I would,” he said. I looked at him as he winked, smiling. I instantly smiled and kissed him. Then I remembered that time, when we met after high school.

“Ne, Donghae…” I started.

“Hm?” he asked, looking at me.

“Do you remember that time, when we met after high school for the first time?” I asked. “You locked yourself out, standing in front of your dorm, freezing, while guys were at the party.” I chuckled at the memory.

“I do remember,” he chuckled as well. “When you spoke to me, I swear I had no idea that this girl, in the picture, is you. You’ve really changed so much, on top of that, you’re known all over the world as the singer and photographer.” He said. I smiled, feeling my cheeks, turning hotter. Gently grabbing his shirt for collar, I pulled him closer to me, pressing my lips on his.

“Do you … remember the first time … we kissed?” I whispered.

“Mmm,” he murmured, agreeing, kissing me from my lips to my neck, my skin, leaving marks. Then he parted from my neck and looked into my eyes. “Do you remember when guys got to know you?” he asked. “They grew to like you at the first sight, even Teuki hyung, who is a little shy around girls who he doesn’t know.” He chuckled. I chuckled nodding and leaned my forehead against his.

“Do you remember when Heechul and Kyuhyun were teasing you, but you shut them up both, saying that you’ll burn Heechul’s closet, while you’ll broke all Kyuhyun’s games?” he asked again.

“Ah,” I gasped, remembering this. “They were going too far…” I pouted.

“They were just teasing you,” Donghae laughed.

“Would you call this teasing if some stranger would say to you that he’ll you when you’ll be sleeping?” I raised an eyebrow at him.

“Who said that?” he suddenly became serious.

“No one, I felt like that…” I said and bit lower lip.

“Yah, no one will you, because you belong to me and no one else.” He whispered and cupped my face his hand, pulling me closer, until our lips touched. I could feel my cheeks turning even more reddish and hotter as I went with my fingers, thru his brown hair.

“Do you … remember…?” I tried to end, but it ended in the air, as he didn’t let me continue.

Maybe I don’t need him being with me all the time, and thinking that I need him every second. Maybe our relationship can also be like a relationship of brother and sister. Maybe I just need to know, that he’ll always be there, no matter how far I’ll go, no matter how low I’ll fall. Maybe I just need to see his eyes, when he meets with mine, telling me he loves me, even if he doesn't say it. Maybe, just maybe, when he’s sitting in couch, watching TV, just maybe, he’ll do something, to make me fall for him even more. And maybe … “Do you remember?” is just another question that we’ll ask each other, when we’ll be sitting on our chairs on the balcony, while our kids and grandkids, will be on the visit, telling their favorite memories to us.