Bom's POV

Graduation flew by and now we were at Seungri's place celebrating. Well right now the host is missing, the same as a certain friend, Dara. Looks like maybe Seungri finally had the guts to tell her. 

I admire him for that. I still haven't honestly told Jiyong at all. There would be times where he starts talking about things that I knew might lead to that. The only way for me to evade the topic was to kiss him. I keep making a fool out of myself just forcing myself on him, but he doesn't mind. 

Everytime I kiss him, I want him to feel it; that I love him. I want him to know that. But at the same time, I don't want him to...anymore. Since my decision to move out of the country, I've decided to just keep my feelings from him. Just telling him my real feelings will hurt him even more once I say goodbye.

Daesung was playing a game with Minzy who was super cute! I mostly kept my eye on her since she was the youngest among the group. Daesung invited her apparently. He says that she's like a little sister to him since he's had to look after Minzy whenever her parents were busy.

Chaerin came too of course. SHe was texting some old friends while cheering on for Minzy to win against Daesung. It was a racing game.

Jiyong had his whole body just laying on top of the couch, with his head on my lap. I was enjoying the whole thing, with a plate full of food to feed myself and Jiyong. Then jiyong got up and took out his camera.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"Moments like these need to be remembered and so I," he slowly held out his camera in front of me and settled himself beside me, "I want to get a picture with this pretty lady right here."

I blushed at his compliment. I kept on eating to hide my shyness. He then stood up and took pictures with his best friend. And then to Daesung and Minzy. 

All of a sudden, I got a text from Yongbae. 

It said: Did you tell him yet?

Yongbae's been pressuring me when to tell Jiyong. I was trying to find the right time so the happy moment of having high school dealt with would not be ruined. I quickly texted him back: soon, meaning that it would be in a couple of days. Then Jiyong got back to my side and took a picture of me out of nowhere. I had a fork up to my face with my mouth open wide to take the food. 

He smirked at the shot he took and mumbled, "cute." I punched him lightly and went back to eating my food. Then Jiyong's watch alarm . It was time for me to go. Since my parents became more protective, I had to be home at a certain time. Jiyong knew about this but still doesn't exactly quite know the actual explanation. But he never failed to take me home on time. He kept telling me that he didn't want my parents to look at him as an irresponsible boyfriend.

"It's time to go Bom," he put away his camera and took his bag with him. 

"Aww, you guys are leaving now?" Chaerin whined. 

"Sorry Chaerin, I have to go," I intentionally pouted for her. I know she can never resists my pouts. She blinked twice and her whining stopped. She patted my head and we hugged each other. I gave Minzy a side hug while Daesung and her were still busy with the game. 

"Tell Seungri we're gone," Jiyong yelled by the door.

Once we were out, Jiyong held my hand the entire time like always while he was driving his scooter. He was smiling like an idiot, like always. And it made my heart beat like crazy. How could I even convince myself to let him go. But his happiness is what matters to me right now. He deserves better.

We were by the driveway by my house. Then we started walking toward the door.

I started walking slow while my head was going back and forth analyzing if it was the right time. Jiyong noticed and stopped walking.

"Is something wrong?" he cocked his head to the side making him so irressistable to hug and be showered with love. 

Then I knew that it was now or never.

"Jiyong, I have to tell you something," I loosened my hands away from his and rested it on his cheek. He leaned in and put his hand on top of mine.

"What is it Bom?" he started taking small steps towards me and I had my head turned down a little. I slowly lifted my head a bit and I was finally standing eye-to-eye with him.

"I have to tell you something important."

"What is it?" 

"I'm moving," once those words left my mouth, his lips turned into a frown. I quickly took him in an embrace. I wanted to comfort him for now and ease in the bad news.

"Moving w-wh-where?" he slowly asked.

"I'm moving out of the country because of..." I slowly tightened my hold around him, "because of business." It hurt me so much to lie to him even more but I couldn't stop.

"Because of business? You're taking school outside of the country? Where then?" I could feel his arms finally responding but I could feel something wet near my shoulder.

"To America. I've been there before and my parents thought that I'd get more education if I go there. And since they also opened up another branch so they're moving with me too."

"Bom, " I could hear his voice breaking as he said my name. I knew I had to speak fast before it gets too hard.

"Jiyong, you know I care about you right? I...I want you to be happy. You got into a great school Jiyong and I'm proud of you chasing your dream. But my path is different from yours, and-"

"But we can work this out Bom. I'll visit you in the holidays. Maybe I haven't told you, but my family is not quite exactly middle class-"

"Jiyong. Long-distance relationships are very hard. Please understand this-"

"I don't want to understand Bom! I don't want you to go but we can still keep in contact okay? I'll call you everyday, I'll email you everynight. We'll see each other online. there's so many ways that we could...we could..." Jiyong was shaking and his hold tightened around me. It was so hard not to just cry with him but I had to be strong for him. I want him to know that I'm sure of this decision. I can't look back now. I have to let him go. I have to.

"Jiyong..."

"You never even said I love you. I love you Bom. I love you so much but you never said those words back. But I know you feel that way right? You love me right?"

I couldn't find the right words to say. If I tell him that I love him right now, I'm just going to end up surrending to him and just stay with him. If I tell him I love him, I can never let him go.

"Jiyong, I do care about you. But I don't think I have the right to love you. You don't deserve me. You deserve someone better than me. Please understand that this is hard for me too and-" Jiyong pulled away from the embrace and I was startled.

He wipped away those tears that were constantly streaming down his face awhile ago. After that, he had a stern look on his face. I was speechless.

"Ji-" he took hold of my cheek with one hand and pushed me closer to him with his arm around my waist. He then kissed me. It was soft at first but then, he repeatedly kissed me. I responded back. I had my hands his shirt. I wanted to push him away but I lost all of my senses. I couldn;t stop and I didn't want to. I let him take control and we stayed that way for a few more minutes until we broke away. He pecked me again and lifted my chin. I met his gaze. He was sad and broken, but he let out a forced smile.

"I don't want to hear that Bom. I don't want to hear that."

"Jiyong...we should break -" he silenced me with those kisses again. Then he we broke away.

"I understand Bom. Okay? I can't stop you no matter what I say right?" he just embraced me again with his chin resting above my head. 

"When do you have to leave then?" he asked.

"In a couple of weeks..."

Then he said nothing after that but he started swaying both of us like we were dancing. Everything around us was quiet. The roads was empty and the sky was filled with the warm colours. The sun was setting fast.

"Bom let's cherish what we have together now, " he pulled back and took hold oy my face with both of his hands, "let's not talk about this anymore and just enjoy our time okay?"

His words made me feel guilty and I was already drowning in guilt. I lied to him and I'm still not telling the truth but he understands. 

"Let's get you inside first okay?"

"Jiyong..."

"I'm going to take you on a date tomorrow Bom and another date by the next day...and the next day...and the next day..."

He brushed away my bangs from my face and we continued just looking at each other. 

This was for the best. We were going to break away slowly. 

I gave Jiyong one last kiss before going inside. I went inside and looked out by the window near the door. He waves goodbye as he drives away with his scooter. 

In my head, all I could think about was how I never deserved him in the first place.

A/N: Once again I'm sorry for this sadness I'm putting in the story.

I planned it to go another way but I already lost control of the story. So I had no choice but to continue it like this. 

Honestly I was not even going to put Jiyong and Bom together at first. I was going to make Jiyong just stay in the friendzone, while Bom is totally aware of his feelings. And when Bom knows about her illness, she would make sure that Jiyong found someone else to love before she could lose herself and fall in love with him. And then to put her plan further, she would pretend that Yongbae and her are going out just to make sure that Jiyong would not fall in love with her.

Now that is confusing. But yes, I just had to surrender to my fangirling and just let the two date each other. But I still had to stick to my story so it turned out more confusing and heartbreaking than the first plan.

I'm sorry GBOM fans.