Three years passed.  I was fifteen, Donghwa twenty-one.  Something about hyung had changed over those years.  He grew even quieter than he already was, and he settled in our backyard more often.  The sound of gunshots grew frequently; I had confronted hyung numerous times during the beginning, but he assured me that it was only for protection.  “Who knows, Hae.  We might get invaded one day.”  It was a lie, of course.  I didn’t know why I had believed him.  The thought of Donghwa’s ambitions troubled my young mind.  I could never see through him.

If I was having such a hard time, Hyukjae only had it worse.  They took both of his parents away from him a week after our encounter with the men at Mr. Jung’s shop.  The men had informed the boy that this was punishment for not respecting his elders.  Hyukjae had witnessed the scene with his twelve-year old eyes, watching the nerve-wrecking scene of his mother and father dragged out of the house after fighting for their lives.  As far as Hyukjae knew, they were driven away alive and breathing, but he never learned what had become of them.  He arrived at our front door that night, still hiccupping with puffy bloodshot eyes.  “They took umma and appa,” was all he managed to croak before bursting into tears again.  Donghwa welcomed Hyukjae in kindheartedly and allowed the boy to live with us for as long as he desired, although the addition of Hyukjae meant an extra portion of food on the table.  My brother was always caring for others more than himself, and that was why I respected him, but apparently Donghwa had other intentions as well.

            Hyukjae became my closest friend, of course.  We took turns sleeping on my bed, since our house only provided two.  It eventually got annoying, and we both decided to settle on the medium-sized bed together.  Sure, it may have been hard to toss and turn, but both of us preferred the comfort of the bed more than the back pains that resulted from sleeping on the hardwood floor.  The two of us had fun together while Donghwa was at work during the day carrying heavy bags for the merchants at the shore.  I had to admit that Hyukjae’s presence erased the loneliness I felt before he entered our household.  I used to sit on the beat-up couch near the door, praying for hyung to come home safely from his job,  always reminding myself that a trip out of the house might not promise a trip back to it.  I constantly worried for hyung, even when he told me that the shore was a location they chose not to attack because they needed the goods just as much as we did.  Hyukjae had eased my worries during his stay, and I began to listen to these words of my brother.

            But then the evening came when I did not know if the Donghwa that came home was indeed my brother.  I had strained a muscle in my leg earlier that day while playing a game in the backyard with Hyukjae, thus I was lying on the couch with him beside me placing ice on the bruises I had received.  That was the thing about Hyukjae; he cared for me like a second brother I never had.  If I wasn’t feeling well, he would treat me until I did, and if I was unhappy, he would comfort me until I smiled.  I valued my relationship with the boy.  Even now, I treasure it more than my life.

            That night, Donghwa entered the door with a blank face.  The moment I noticed his expression, I realized I could not read it.  Hyung was wearing some sort of mask, and it bothered me that he was acting like that.  Hyukjae probably knew this too, as I witnessed his eyebrows furrow, but the boy hid his reaction well and greeted my brother with that grin he almost always had on.

            “Welcome home, Donghwa-hyung!” he chirped, but his gum and teeth disappeared behind his lips when my brother did not answer.

            I watched as Donghwa beckoned for Hyukjae to follow him out to the backyard.  The two of them disappeared behind the door, abandoning me on the couch with my injured leg.  My curiosity took over me, and I was glad it did as I got up and limped towards the backyard door.  Even if this action ended up worsening the knots in my leg, I never regretted trudging towards Donghwa and Hyukjae that evening.  I opened the door silently, revealing the silhouettes of my brother and friend discussing matters in the dark.  They did not notice me, or at least that was what Donghwa wanted me to think as I tried my best to listen.

            “I’m sorry that it has to be this way, but I can’t bring myself to confront Hae and tell him my goals,” I heard Donghwa state with a voice as cold as the ice Hyukjae had placed on me earlier.  “I’m going to place all my faith in you, Hyukjae-ah.  Will you watch over my brother while I am away?”

            “Why?” I heard Hyukjae ask.  “Why would you want to join them?”

            I closed the door at that moment, making immediate assumptions as I tried to regulate my breathing.  I could not calm down after finally realizing what my brother had been hiding all along.  All the confusing puzzle pieces finally began to come together and make some sort of sense.  I thought I knew who my brother really was now as I hurriedly struggled to my room to avoid getting caught.  I arrived at my bed and fell asleep that night with constant worries piling in my mind.  I didn’t know what would become of Donghwa-hyung.  I didn’t know his exact intentions, but I definitely knew one thing for sure.  He would not be with us the next morning.

            And just like that, morning arrived for Hyukjae and me.  I didn’t bother to ask where my brother was as we had breakfast that Hyukjae hastily got out of bed early to make.  The third chair stayed empty throughout our entire meal until Hyukjae finally spoke, deciding to provide a vague explanation, “Donghwa-hyung…. He’s out of town, but he doesn’t know when he’ll return.  We’re on our own for now, Hae.”  I merely nodded, knowing well that my brother would be gone for a very long time.  I chose not to ask for clarification on the situation—my brother was joining them for whatever reason I did not know of.  What more did I need to know, other than the fact that he had betrayed my mother and me?  I never understood why my father left either, but Donghwa probably abandoned me for the same reason.  It just goes to show that my father was right with his words.  I trusted Donghwa-hyung too much and I thought I knew him too well, but in the end, his true intentions never crossed my mind.  Hyukjae almost avoided me the entire day; I suppose he was attempting to provide me with space to take everything in.  But everything wasn’t much.  It was simply realizing the fact that Donghwa had abandoned me and accepting it.

            I was able to accomplish this task in a week.  My brother’s name never left my lips, and when Hyukjae spoke of it, I became cold.  I think he noticed this as the mentions of Donghwa became less frequent as the months went by.  Eventually, we never discussed these matters again.  This seemed to trouble Hyukjae though; he always seemed as if he was hiding something, something that he wanted to just explain to me, but couldn’t.  It always started as, “You know Donghwa—” and then he would stop as he noticed the blankness across my face.  In other words, I never got to know the secret he was keeping.  But I didn’t mind because I was stubborn.  If it was Donghwa, I did not want to know.

            It was the evening of my eighteenth birthday when I finally realized how different Hyukjae was from everyone else I knew.  He had spent the whole day planning a decent dinner for us and was whipping up a stew when he realized that we were missing onions.  I told him that it’d be okay, that the absence of onions wouldn’t make a big difference, but Hyukjae objected, claiming that everything had to be perfect for my birthday.  I smiled at this and insisted on running to the market across the street to purchase some, but he argued stating that it was wrong for me to run errands on such a special night.  Eventually, the boy gave in when I brought up the fact that he could not trust me with a stew if he were to go get the onions instead.

And thus, I was chosen to purchase the onions at Mr. Jung’s market.  The sun was almost gone and nighttime was arriving gradually when I made my entrance.  Recognizing me, Mr. Jung stared at me worriedly before questioning, “Donghae-sshi, why are you heretonight?  They could come in any second and we’d both be in deep trouble.  It’s somewhat reasonable for me to be here, because the basement is basically my family’s home, but you!  Donghae-sshi, you have no excuse to be here!”  I nodded as I acknowledged the fact, but today was my birthday and Hyukjae was determined to make a perfect stew.  We both weren’t going to let them stop us from having a more satisfying dinner.  I explained this to Mr. Jung, but the man didn’t seem convinced.  Nonetheless, he gave me my onions quickly and demanded for me to hurry home after I paid him, blurting out a quick “happy birthday.”  I guess luck wasn’t on my side even on this day though, as one of them stepped through the entrance, immediately demanding money from Mr. Jung.

A sense of déjà vu surged through me.  I had witnessed this before in my earlier years, but of course, Hyukjae was not with me this time.  Again, Mr. Jung was startled because of the unexpected request.  He hastily explained that he was a tad short on the money as he handed them an envelope.  The man in the black suit snatched this envelope from Mr. Jung’s grip with my force, stinging the elder’s wrist.  I heard his gasp of surprise and quickly asked if he was alright, but Mr. Jung just sent me a nervous smile.  On the other hand, the third party clicked his tongue and shook his head disapprovingly.

“Mr. Jung, how many times has this happened?  This isn’t enough!  We need just a bit more,” he followed with a dark chuckle.

“I’m sorry, please excuse my deficient payment.  The amount in the envelope is not short by much.”

“Ajusshi,” there came the lack of manners.  I stared at him judgingly, masking the lack of respect I had for him with a blank expression.  “Listen.  I can’t take this.  If the amount you still to pay is so little, why don’t you have it?”

“P-Please,” Mr. Jung was helpless and I was furious.  I forcefully dug in my pocket for the extra change I had brought with me.  I shoved them into the man’s hands.

“Take it,” I growled, and he glared at me.  “It’s enough, isn’t it?”

The man in the suit shuffled the bills around in his hands before laughing.  “Yes, child, it’s enough.  But I don’t want your money.  I asked for the old man’s.

“What’s the difference?” I asked angrily.  I heard Mr. Jung whisper for me to stop before things get ugly, but I chose to ignore it.  “Money is money.  Or are you sick people just trying to pick on the elderly?”

There was a long silence before he replied, “Maybe.  What can you do about it?”

“People like you don’t deserve to live,” I snarled, much like a boy I knew had done six years ago in the same market.

Offended, the man raised his fist at me, but stepped back when the door opened to reveal Hyukjae’s presence.  He seemed a bit worried, probably because I had been gone for so long.  But the moment he realized the situation in front of him, his expression became deeper as he rushed to my side.  I saw a change in my best friend.  He was glaring the man down with icy eyes that I’ve never witnessed before.  It was a different side from the one he had shown in this market when we were younger.  I noticed a stronger hatred in them and I knew he had a strong desire for revenge.  I held Hyukjae back, gently tapping his shoulder to wake him up from whatever he was currently becoming, and luckily succeeded.  He sighed and the brown orbs I recognized returned.

“I don’t know who you are, but please.  Move aside, because I have business with the kid behind you.”

The man grabbed Hyukjae’s shoulders and pushed him forcefully, knocking my best friend onto the tiled floor harshly.  I wanted to run to his side and kneel down to ask him if he was okay immediately but I couldn’t as the man approached me and reached to the belt of his pants.  Apparently, Hyukjae had caught his intentions before I had as he stood up determinedly and rushed to my side, pushing me away with just enough force for me to take a step towards my right.

“Hyukjae, what are you doing?!” I heard Mr. Jung’s voice cry and I stared at the shopkeeper because of instincts, only to witness his terrified expression.

A rip of metal against skin invaded my ears and I turned my head back to see the man in the suit retrieve his pocketknife from the wound he has just made on Hyukjae’s body.  Guilt flashed through me, only to be instantly overshadowed by rage.  Mr. Jung scrambled over to me, his weak legs causing a peculiar rhythm of steps on the floor before he took a hold of me from behind.

“Don’t do it, Donghae.  You’ll get hurt, too.  Save Hyukjae, and let the man go.  Do the proper thing.”

The right side of me agreed as I calmed myself down and knelt down beside Hyukjae, who was barely on the brink of conscience.  I couldn’t help it; the sight of a wounded Hyukjae drove me insane and before I realized it, I was crying.  I turned back to the man in the suit who was watching the scene before him with his merciless eyes that pierced through me.  He seemed to be satisfied with the mess he made, but was still holding his pocketknife.  Fear began to strike when I realized he was advancing towards me, but instead he hooked the weapon back onto his belt.

“I suppose you’ve learned something,” he stated calmly before exiting the shop, not even bothering to demand any more money from Mr. Jung.  At least that part was a relief.

But it couldn’t hide the agony I felt as I held Hyukjae’s face, tapping his cheeks as he struggled to keep his eyes awake.  “Stay with me, Hyukjae-ah.  You’ll be fine, I promise.”  Mr. Jung ordered me to remove the boy’s clothing to reveal the cut.  It was autumn, and the weather was cold, so Hyukjae had worn three layers.  I was indeed grateful when I realized that the wound did not sink that deeply because of this.  However, the cut ran from Hyukjae’s mid-chest diagonally to his stomach, and the guilt took control of me once more.

“I’m so sorry, Hyuk,” I began to cry once more as I held his hand while we waited for Mr. Jung to come with first-aid equipment.  “This is my fault.”

But Hyukjae was already unconscious.

            Mr. Jung washed the wound well and we bandaged Hyukjae up before I placed his dirty clothing back on his body for the trip home.  Hyukjae regained conscious at midnight and I suggested for us to walk home, since our house was just around the corner.  Mr. Jung insisted that we stay for the night, but I couldn’t bear causing any more trouble for him.  I couldn’t even thank him enough for treating Hyukjae, even though he had claimed that I did more enough when I added to his lacking payment.  Hyukjae, despite in pain from his injury, agreed to walk home with me, and thus, we stumbled out into the dangerous night and struggled home.

            I held onto Hyukjae tightly, guiding him step by step towards our house.  He eventually couldn’t bear with the pain stabbing in his torso, but I urged him on, feeling incredibly guilty for being the reason for his injuries.  We couldn’t risk stopping in the pitch-black environment though.  We could get killed, I thought as I prayed for our safety.  Thankfully, Hyukjae and I made it back to our house where I led him to the bed.  Hyukjae was indeed a strong guy.  It’s not like anyone could carry a wound home from the market like he did.  I was moved by his immense determination.  I took care of Hyukjae that night, giving him fresh new clothes and helping him change into them, and I stayed up with him until he could finally forget the pain for a few hours to sleep.  It touched me when he found a voice to whisper to me before he fell into a slumber, “Don’t be mad at yourself, Hae.  I’m okay.”

            And that was when I realized that our bond was different, that Hyukjae himself was different.  He cared for me, and I couldn’t deny the fact that he would risk his life for the sake of mine.  Since that day, I had taken my father’s words into the weirdest method of consideration.  I placed all of my trust into Hyukjae, and believed that he would never leave my side.  To this day, he has not.  He may have betrayed me physically a few years later, but he came back to me, and plus, he was always mentally by my side.

            When Hyukjae was finally asleep, I walked out of the room and into the kitchen.  The stew was still in a large pot on the stove, no longer boiling and basically ready to eat.  But the onions returned to my mind, and I found them at our front door.  I had dropped them the moment we stepped inside, almost forgetting them as I struggled to bring Hyukjae to the room.  After a moment of hesitation, I chose to finish Hyukjae’s stew as I grabbed the onions and a butcher knife.

            “Don’t be mad at yourself, Hae.  I’m okay.”

It was not the first time I had cut onions, and it was definitely not the first time I had cried while cutting onions, but it was indeed the first time I had cried while cutting onions for a reason other than the sting in my eyes.