Ever since I was born, I am different. Not that I stand out, but I am definitely different. I was blessed with a supernatural power that allows me to be invisible and when I do so, it also allows me to enter people’s mind and read them as though I am reading a book of a language I know so well.

....

All in a sudden, the distance between them shown on the TV a moment ago was gone. The awkward tension that seemed to me as a mask to cover a huge secret was gone. They were now sitting close to each other. The cute, bubbly TOP was gone. The confident leader, G-dragon, was gone. There were only Jiyong and Seunghyun in the room looking at each other as if they regretted everything they said and acted earlier on screen and there I was standing in the room with them, just that to them, I was not there. I was on the verge of entering their mind, but something tells me the fun will go away if I find out the truth too soon.

“I’m sorry, Seunghyunie. I... “ Jiyong finally broke off the silence, but there were still no response from the other side. “I was childish, I should not have let out the secret about your body, but I was jealous. I was jealous of other members who each shared a secret about you”

“You could have at least thought of something not personal.” Seunghyun said sternly. Seunghyun has stopped looking at Jiyong ever since he started talking. It was as though he didn’t want any explanation from the little man.

“I’m sorry, hyung, it’s just that the expression you gave away when Dae was talking about how you liked eating Sushi, how you went to a Sushi Restaurant together last time, how much fun it was, it hurts me. It tears my rational mind away from me and all that I was thinking was to say something about you that is only known to me and I couldn’t have thought of anything beside your covered body. I thought you would be smiling as widely when Dae talked about you, but you didn’t and only then did I realize I made a huge mistake. I’m sorry.”

“You know me and Dae are like brothers. To our fans, it ain’t different. They want us to show our brotherly relationship. There’s nothing wrong about two grown men who loved each other as brothers to be going out to a sushi restaurant, but for you to say that you’ve seen my body and that you were the only member to have seen it is like saying we are sleeping together.” The man frowned, still not looking at the other. 

“I know, I am sorry” Jiyong’s eyes, still locked at the man next to him, were now b with tears that asked for forgiveness. I could clearly see how hurt he is, how desperate he is to get Seunghyun to stop being angry with him. Even without reading his mind, I could tell the younger rapper is completely in love with the older one and would do anything, anything, even if it meant going on with the relationship and playing dumb clearly knowing that Seunghyun cheated with Dae. I just wish that will never happen to him otherwise the next album for big bang will be all sad and blue. No, I don’t want that happening. I was lost in those thoughts for a while and not listening to their conversation any more for a few good minutes.

Jiyong’s hands were now wrapped around Seunghyun’s arm, as the white haired guy was getting up to leave the room. “Don’t leave, remember? We... .. tonight, I thought we, hmm, but that’s fine if you’re not in the mood, but, hmmn, our tight schedule, it’s hard... I, but it’s up to you.” I could not believe what I’d just heard and seen. The overly confident G-dragon that I adored appeared so insecure, as dependent on the other man. I could tell they rarely get to spend time together and for that, Jiyong does not want any of their one on one moment slip away. His voice when he was talking and pausing and talking again about tonight’s event, whatever it is, he seems to want it to happen so bad. He would kill himself literally if his action and words earlier on the TV ruined everything for them tonight.   

For once, Seunghyun is now looking directly at Jiyong, at his painful, tears stained face, caused entirely by him. His serious face that was filled with anger is now gone. It was as though he felt guilty for turning Jiyong into this crying mess, for a minute there, I could see Seunghyun loved Jiyong dearly too, but something was bothering him, I know. His love for Jiyong is not as pure and strong as Jiyong’s.

“I know... Look, I am sorry too for overacting my excitement when Dae mentioned about our Sushi date, I meant, hangout. The truth is although I wasn’t showing any expression when you mentioned about how hot my body were, I felt special and loved. I felt that you were saying it proudly as...” he hesitated for a bit, before contining “ as my lover.”

“really? You do? You thought you would never have any idea how proud I am. You would have no idea how much to tell the world that I’m your lover” Seunghyun doesn’t seem pleased at all with the last sentence Jiyong spilled out. It almost seemed like he would be embarrassed if the world knows about them, but maybe that was just my overly presumptuous self thinking too much.

“Alright, stop crying and go take a ware shower. You don’t want to look like a Panda for tonight’s date, do you?” he said while wiping away Jiyong’s tears and caressed the smooth face in his warm big hand while the younger man’s hair, who seems to enjoy it a lot because through the small action, he could feel he is loved. "I love you, Ji." Seunghyun then pulled Jiyong into a long silent hug. "I love you too Hyung. I love you so much it pains me". The slience came crawling upon them again. 

Only then, only when their love-filled hug was too long for me to endure watching without getting bored do I realize it’s time for me to go home and so I left. I know I’ll come back again tomorrow morning. I hate my curfew for letting me miss what they have to do tonight.