your Lover cop by august-light
~Teh Happy Watermelon Review Parlor~Author: august-light
Okay, yet another tear jerker~ I like the story line. I loved how it all started out as all sweet and stuff and then the end was sad and I love stories like that :) they make me happy and sad at the same time and this was no exception...
...But, I was kinda confused when Yuri started randomly coughing up blood. I mean, don't get me wrong, I understood it afterwords, but maybe the coughing up blood scene would've been better if the author gave the readers a little bit more of a warning beforehand and hinted that there was something wrong instead of just jumping right into it.
Another thing that kind of bothered me were the random links put into the story. For example, the scene where they're in the karaoke room and a song starts playing: this is where description is your best friend. Instead of describing the song that was playing, the author put a link to the exact song. Now, I know that it helps you with what the song was like, but then again it's a lot more fun to read something that makes you imagine what the song is like instead of it being imagined for you.
I don't think there were that many grammar mistakes, so props for that.
This story was overall good with only some minimal points to be fixed. Once again, I like the sweetness and the sudden angst and it almost made me cry at the end so props for you on that too :D august-light, you're a good writer. keep working at it and I hope to see more of your stories in the future :)
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