“Yoboseyo?”

“…”

“Ryeowook-ah”

“…”

“gwaenchana?”

“hyung… *sobbing*“

Why Did You Call?

But you won’t say anything

Why Did You Call?

But your tears started to flow first

Why won’t you say anything?

It was all my fault then

I am sorry

==========

A month before

==========

 “Ryeowook-ah, uh di yah (where are you)?”

“Japan, hyung…”

“ Went will you back to Korea?”

“ After this concert, I will go to Singapore and Bangkok for SMTown Concert. Then I’ll be back to Korea” Ryeowook explained his 4 months’s lover.

After the recording of Shinhwa Broadcast, both of the group started to be close once again. They sometime met up and ate together. He didn’t realize since when, he started to meet up just the two of them. Sometime Eric would call him suddenly after his recording at Sukira and insisted to fetch him from KBS. It wasn’t so hard to obey his demand, especially since Ryeowook’s manager used to be his manager.

At first, Ryeowook was so happy because it was a rare occasion that a sunbaenim chose him than other member. He neither has charm like Kyuhyun to make the sunbaenim loved him, nor he has charisma like Eunhyuk. But then Eric hyung seemed adore him; always said that Ryeowook is cute like his dogs gomdori. He felt offended at first, but then he learned that Gomdori actually the cutest dog he ever saw and Eric treasured that dog like his own son. So he felt that Eric loved him, and as a good dongsaeng he would love Eric as much as he loved him.

Then he started started to feel lonely whenever Eric busied. Knowing Eric as a CEO on Shinhwa Company, he realized that Eric must be busier than him. So he thought that maybe he should visit his hyung, afraid that his hyung didn’t eat and sleep regularly. So one day, he went to Eric hyung’s apartment. One thing leads to another thing, the next morning he woke up on Eric’s hyung bed, . And since then he officially dated his hyung. No one knows about this scandal. Both of them choose to make it secret as long as possible.

“They still treated all of you like an animal, didn’t they?” Eric accused the management that handled super junior’s promotion.

“Hyung…” Ryeowook closed both of his eyes, tired as hell. Because this never-ending argument is always be the reason of their fighting. Eric wanted Super Junior, especially Ryeowook to be treated better than now. Which the truth is they are treat so much better than before, but Ryeowook didn’t want to reveal that story, afraid that Eric will be angrier that he would do some actions that both of them will be sorry latter. But Eric is Eric; he knew all the SM’s old tricks with their idols. Even though Ryeowook didn’t tell him much; he knew how crazy sometime that management made schedules.

“Ryeowook-ah, babe… I am so worried” Eric’s voice sounds too old for his true aged. He was devastated, weariness with his hectic job as CEO, producer of Stella, and Shinhwa’s member. Ryeowook always be his personal pacifier. He needs Ryeowook constantly that he requested to Ryeowook’s manager (he finally figured out about Ryeowook and Eric relationship) to less his schedule as minimum as possible. He reasoned that it’s for the sake of Ryeowook’s health while the truth is he wants to keep Ryeowook within his reached. How surprised he was when one day, after finished his schedule for the newest drama, he found out that Ryeowook wasn’t on Korea.

“Hyung-ah… I will sleep as many as possible. You don’t have to worry anymore hyung. I am more than capable to take care of myself” Ryeowook assured his over protective lover. Eric could nag more than his mother. He was happy with the attention he got from Eric, including buying him gifts whenever he wanted, but after all he is a man. And a man should stand on his feet though he has a so damn rich lover.

“You must quit from SM” Just like a thunder on the sunny day,  Eric’s command startled the young petite man.

“Why?”

“So you don’t have to do this kind of !” He instantly knew that Eric was more than pissed out.

“B-but..”

“No but babe… follow my instruction. It’s for the best” Eric didn’t let any room for argument

“I can’t hyung… I belong to super junior. I don’t want this group to disband. Just like yours. I want to be like shinhwa who can establish the group until 14 years”. Ryeowook pleaded for understanding from his lover

“Just ing get out from that management. With or without your member!”

Ryeowook fall silent. Too surprise to hear Eric’s yelling to even hearing the ending tone from other side until he felt someone poked his shoulder. “Ryeowook-ah, what’s wrong?” His hyung, Yesung, watched him carefully. He worried with his dongsaeng.

Ryeowook smiled, or he tried to smile, and shook his head. “Aniya”

=========

Since Eric hanged up his call, Ryeowook lived in misery. He heard Eric’s voice in his head over and over again, and it made him headache. He wanted to obey his lover but he didn’t want to trouble . Eric is the first one he loved since he knew he was gay. He loved Eric so much that it was hurt to hear Eric’s anger because of him.

“Ryeowook ah, gwaenchana?” He heard his manager called him. He sensed that his manager knew the incident between Eric and him.

“I am okay hyung…” Ryeowook replied softly. Attempted to hold his tears. This secret thing started to troll onto him.

“Hey, I will bring you to him the first time we landed on Seoul tomorrow. Don’t worry” His manager assured him.

“Thank you hyung…” Ryeowook smiled thankfully with his understanding manager.

==========

Ryeowook took the firs flight in the morning to Seoul. As schedule, he would leave Seoul at midnight to Singapore that he has free time to visit his lover. With wide smile, he pushed the bell to Eric’s apartment and waited patiently. Eric is an easy sleeper but he can instantly wake up to a very small noise. So he assured his boyfriend would be come out soon.

The sound of the door opening echoed in the quiet hallway. It was only 6 a.m. in the morning on the winter season. Most of the tenants were still sleeping.

He prepared to face his lover with his best smile where it turns out he met with a beautiful lady, dressed with Eric’s white shirt which is too big for her that its covered half of her thigh. He could see that that woman didn’t put anything behind that shirt.

He was very angry that he left the scene immediately. Leave the confusion woman behind.

The journey to Singapore and the concert were like a dream for Ryeowook. He put his headphone and set it up with the highest sound. He wanted to escape from this world. He wanted to go to the deserted island and cried out loud for his broken heart. He blamed himself for his foolishness to believe that Eric hyung loved him unconditionally. He forgot that Eric was a playboy before. It never changed. Maybe Eric hyung thought it would be fun to have a man as his lover, experimented with that kind of relationship. And now he was bored because his lover rebellion so he returned to he used to be, playing with girls.

The next thing he knew, he buried himself with alcohols. He sat on the corner of the party room, alone. Filled his glass with whiskey, beer, and soju. He wanted to erase what happened on yesterday morning in his memory.

“Ryeowook-ah, are you okay?” He saw one of TVXQ’s dancers sat next to him. Shook his body softly.

“I… I…” Ryeowook’s voice cracked. Finally he couldn't hold his tears anymore. “I break up.” Ryeowook started to sob. Tears fallen down from both of his eyes.

“Hush….” The dancer hugged his tired body. Caressed his back lovingly.

“Hyung… I am so ed up” Ryeowook said between his sobbing. He felt assure with the hug from the dancer.

“Ryeowook-ah, do you know when one love failed you, you must find another love. It’s the best medicine for a broken heart” The hyung persuaded the crying man.

“…”

“Just find another love Ryeowook-ah… just find another love…”

========

Ryeowook woke up with loud pounding on his head. He buried his face to the soft pillow that the hotel provides for a luxury room SM rented for him and s.

“Hurts….” Ryeowook whined to no one. It has been too long for him since his last hang over.

“Dug Dug Dug” He heard someone pounded the door. He blinked, once… twice… tried to recollect his mind. His attempted to wake up and open the door failed because someone else already opened the door. Is there anyone else in here with him?  He asked him self. But he preferred to not care about it. His body hurt so much that it seemed after ~

Ryeowook jerked up from his bed. He sensed something wrong, but couldn’t define the mistake. He sat on his bed, hissed with the pain on his spine and met with a pair of shoes, someone stand in front of him. He raised his face curiously and met eyes to eyes with his lover, or he should say his ex lover, Eric Mun.

“How dare you to do this to me Ryeowook-ah!!!” Eric’s voice was reverb on that big suite room. His face is red, as tomato. His pulse on his forehead was seen clearly. His anger was unstoppable. He showed his scary tantrum with beaten up the dancer who slept with his lover until unconscious, smashed the glass on the bar and kicked furniture in that room.  Ryeowook’s body trembled strongly. Afraid, sad, guilty mingled on his mind. He didn’t know who is the one cheated, he or Eric.

==========

“Ryeowook-ah…. That girl, who slept on his apartment is his cousin”

“…”

Never in a day have I forgotten you

Never for a moment would I left you

==========

“Ryeowook-ah, Eric hyung came to Singapore because he didn’t want any misunderstanding.”

“….”

I still love you so much

I still miss you so much

How we ended parting?

==========

“Ryeowook-ah, he loves you so much… He’s still waiting for you”

“….”

=========

So both of us cried for a long time

Holding onto the phone

‘Til the tears had stop falling

Now I know how much I love you

I’m sorry I love you

We’ll have to love again