I know that perfection belongs to God ... 
I know that everything belongs to God ... 
And you ... 
My eyes you are the most perfect creations ... 
Everything for me ... 
Half of my soul and life ... 
Im really need you ...


..


..


..


Ahhh ~ ~ Doesn't feel it's gone a many of years I've been involved in all of this. Strange world. According to the people, but not according to me and all the other fans. Nothing unusual here, only sincerity of love and feeling pure and soft. There is no sense of compulsion. But everyone saw us maybe a little 'foreign' and full of obsession.

May I share a little about who I am?

Yes, I am.

I'm just a girl who lived in a normal family and spend the my day with the usual anyway. Nothing special. Even if everyone has her first true love, but what about me? My first love even just a comic handsome and charismatic. You could say he was perfect. Handsome, a model, rich, loyal and kind. Takumu Kirihara, one of the council members in KISS KISS comic masterpiece Chitose Yagami.

You say I'm an otaku?

Yes, I don't care.

This is my world.

It's my choice.

Maybe I should marry a comic character who probably never hurt me and perfect as I dreamed. I don't care if it Takumu only fictional character in the world of two dimensions. I don't care.

But I slowly realized that it was a strange thing.
But ... no one is perfect as Takumu until I find someone in the form of real and alive. He shined more than anyone else on stage. It has a stage. He had it and ... He has my world. No! Not just my world.

He has my feeling.

He has my heart.

He has my soul.

He is the owner of everything in myself other than my Lord and myself of course.

He made me stunned and fell in love in a matter of seconds. He made me again and again playing the same video. He made me to be like this. Loved him, admired, loved it, expect it and want it. Everything. All I knew I wanted more than anything else.

"Annyeonghaseyo Jaejoong Dong Bang Shin Ki imnida"

His voice ...

The first voice that touched my heart softly. Penetrated into my head briefly. All manner of expression is the best. How there is no gap at all in him. No one, at least for me.

#bruk!

n an instant I fell on the sidewalk. A middle aged woman immediately bowed to apologize, I just smiled and nodded. It's not her fault. One of mine. Because I think too much about Kim Jaejoong even when I walk though. Everything about him changed the way my brain works.

I took a breath for a moment and then glanced toward the building in downtown Seoul towering. I smiled as best I can do for now. Despite the country with him, he is still far away. You know who he is and you will not know who I am. He's a Kim Jaejoong, handsome and beautiful at one time, part of JYJ and TVXQ, love the color red and accidentally buy a car made in Italy with high speed, has luxury apartments and has many female relatives. Loves his fans and he was tired of sasaeng fan.

Jaejoong cryied because of TVXQ.

Jaejoong cried as the first award received by TVXQ.

Jaejoong who really likes to do funny things.

Jaejoong cried as his farewell.

He was Jaejoong. Jaejoong who you know. Then I? Instead of my face and a name, even you will never realize my existence. Especially Jaejoong? maybe he did not even realize I'm here alive and waiting for him. Although it is not likely he will see me even in just seconds. In fact here I am.

# drrrttt

I immediately took the phone that I put in my shoulder bag. I read there is an incoming message from one of my friends. I smiled when i looked at the message and brings me back to the memories of two years ago. Where is the first time I breathe the same air with him in the same place.

-
-flashback-

Well it turns out it's late, I need to get to the airport. Moreover my friend was waiting for me. I know they just know Jaejoong and arguably be used only with Jaejoong. So I appreciate those. Really appreciate those who want to brings me to meet Jaejoong. I've tried to resist with my mind but with my heart. Jaejoong even already have my heart.

"Haii ~ ~"

"Oh you! We have to find a taxi immediately! "

I was exhausted and no thrill whatsoever. Jaejoong doesn't like a stalker. He hated it. So what was I doing this right? All I knew I wanted to see it and want it. That's it. I would not dare hurt him because he's something of value in my life. Because of him, millions of men in real life I just like a flash.

Airport ...

It's almost an hour ...

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

All people ran towards the screams and I was there, right when Jaejoong was trying stepped amid fans started a craze because of its presence. He was there. I can see the security there to help her out of the crowd and to get into the car. He was there, in front of the door of the black car. I saw the tip of her hair. He ... Kim Jaejoong ... There ... near me ...

Oh God ...

Let me see his face clearly even if only once in my life ...

I kept poking in the crowd, and finally I could see from the car. It was my hope next. Unfortunately, the windshield was really black and I'm standing right next to the seat where he was sitting. I did not expect and did not want her car rolled. Konsekuesinya I know because I can see there are even fans who tried to block his path. And today ...

She's sick ...

But at least my eyes can see through into the contents of the car ... It was all my expectations.

Even urge other fans and drive hard and stamping of security is no longer ignored me. All I know is that I'm standing next to a Kim Jaejoong who was sitting. Only the black windshield obstructions us. Just that.

-end flashback-

-

Unconsciously, my tears dripping slowly when the recall. Even though my whole body feels sore, tired and sore I wanted it more than anything from what I wanted all along. I want my Jaejoong, just that.

From: 0821077720xxxx
Come to Incheon Airport right now ~ ~

I smiled and wiped the tears that have flowed to form both my cheeks like asmall Han river. I nodded to the empty air, grabbed the phone and ran as fast as I could. My mind is only focused on Jaejoong oppa. Just him.

+ +

Incheon Airport

Ah ~ ~ crowded airports today. Yes, Jaejoong will return to Seoul today and besides scenery like this is not something foreign to Seoul. Almost every day there are hundreds of fans waiting for their idol here. The airport is a silent witness that connects us with our idol with their usual style. Not wear a magnificent stage and concept.

"Mian, excuse me"

I have many time to say two words to find the figure of my friend. I saw someone wore pink with a wave of her hand towards me. That's it! My friend! I had the usual place. I have to go there to see my Jaejoong.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

No!!

This cry ...

I did not want the incident two years ago re-occur. No.

Oh God ...

I beg ...

Give me the road if only once, after this I'll stop ...

#bruk!

"ARGH!"

It hurts. I fell and got the insistence solid underfoot. My tears flowed again. Whether or whenever I will never be allowed to see it? I will not ask for more. I'm not going to ask him to marry me and live with me in real life. I'll let him live in my imagination. At least I'm aware of, and know yourself.

"Gwaenchana" asked the person who helped me to stand.

He's one of security, seen from his uniform. I nodded. Middle-aged man looked at me in bewilderment. Maybe my face was very messy at the moment. I don't care. Only hope of living forever hope, and dreams will continue to be a dream. Fantasies will never come true and everything is just a flower bed that will be deleted as soon as I returned to consciousness.

"Mianhae Agashi"

Middle-aged man pulled my hand away from the empty space so long that form the streets. I was dumbfounded when I realized that I have in front of Jaejoong oppa. He's really in front of me and waved his hand towards the fans. Somehow seeing him like this makes me feel really missed him since two years ago. I need it in my life.

"Annyeong!"

Wait!

He's ... he's talking to me? He smiled towards me? Jaejoong oppa smiled and looked me?

"I miss you ... really need you ... oppa"

The word - the word spilling out of my mouth and made myself surprised. I automatically shut my mouth and and looked at him. Jaejoong oppa was frozen in a few seconds, but after that emerges is a gentle smile from him. He whispered softly.

"Two years ..."

And ...

He made me freeze.

True - absolutely freezing.

Jaejoong oppa passed and I remembered something. Letters. Letters I wrote to him ...

...


Dear Jaejoong Oppa ...

Hi oppaaa ~ ~ ~ How are you?

Ahhh I'm sure you'll never know me right? In fact it seems highly improbable that you knew I lived here for you.
Waiting for you ... Expect you ... Wanting you ... erase everything about you ... It is not easy.
Not as easy as turning the palm of the hand. You know the H-A-R-D right?

Then you minded what about me?
Sasaeng fan that forces?
Ahhh ~ ~ why I can say sasaeng fan?
You will not remember, but the incident will always crossed my mind.
You know oppa? We rarely ever besama in less than one meter. Unfortunately glass black car blocking me.
And oppa know? I almost hold your car with strange woman.
Ahhh even after I got home was minded to kill myself so I could be reincarnated and was near you in my next life. Ahhhh ~ ~ you must minded I'm a creepy right?
Noooooo ~ ~
I'm not going to force you to live with me.

Oppa ~ ~
I know my destiny ..
Love you completely without any reply from you.

Now oppa think I'm a sad girl?
Never minded like that, Im happy for you. ^ ^
So don'tt be sick, take care of your health. Do not cry. So I'll not be transformed into a sad girl.

Opppaa ~ ~
I'm a strong girl. I'm waiting for you as strong and bear my own feelings.
You know what? If I was not a strong girl maybe now I'm not going to write this letter but I've been in a different world with you. kkkkk ~ ~ ~ I'm serious ^ ^

Ah yes!
Do not ever feel sad or lonely.
You know I have here ... Not just me. Your God. Your family. Your friends. Your fans.
Oppa, even though one day the world forget you. Not with me. Because you're the one my first love.

Just to love you like this I was happy and could forget all my problems. ^ ^
So don't ever be afraid to be abandoned because I'll always be with you. It supports every step you.

Oppa ...
If reincarnation is true there ... whether you want to live half your life with me?
If reincarnation is right there ... I want to be with you even for a single day.
If reincarnation is right there ... I want to share this feeling with you so that I do not suffer like this.
If reincarnation is true there ... I still want to love you until my last life.

Oppa ...
You're the best, see you later. Take care of your health ^ ^

-END-