Everyone has their own interests and pursuits in life that they take in heart. Hobbies that we improve, and possibly in the future turn into our careers. 

For me, I find the universe' diversity and beauty interesting. 

People usually ask me, "Youngjae, why do you like studying the stars, and planets, and stuff related to those? Is there anything that made you like the universe so much?" I was always exposed to science ever since I was a child. My grandfather was an astronomer, I loved those times when I visited him in his mini observatory when I was younger. He'd always tell me stories about the stars, the planets, the galaxies... everything about celestial bodies, really. 

He used to tell me this particular story that would always intrigue me and I'd be there to give him my full attention. It was about this little girl who loved the stars so much that she eagerly wanted to touch one. But one day, she couldn't take it any longer and she set out a journey to try and touch a star. She traveled far and wide. She met things and animals on her way, helping her out to accomplish her dream.

This particular fish she had met swam her across the ocean's horizon and led her to a rainbow that goes up to the sky. And so, she climbed up the trail of rainbow and never gave up even though she felt tired. After climbing up the rainbow for so long, she felt dizzy and could no longer see where her home was. But she said "I won't go until I touch one star." Her perseverance led her to succeed and finally came near a star. She stood on her toes and stretched as far as she could, suddenly a shooting star zipped by and she lost her balance.

Down she went coming closer to the surface of the earth once again and as the seconds ticked by, she grew sleepier and sleepier. Until, she had completely fallen asleep. The following day, she woke up on her bed recalling the events of last night and wondered if she really did touch a star. Right there, on her palms was a speck of stardust.

That story influenced me a lot. It was my inspiration.

The universe... What is it that I find interesting about the universe...

The planets, meteors, comets, the moon, the illuminating sun, the solar system, and theres so much more I could list down but I wouldn't want to elaborate on that and turn this into a science class.

I do want to concentrate on my three most favorite, exceptional things that I get astonished with the universe. Galaxies, constellations and stars.

Aren't those all about stars? Why, yes. Yes, they are. Stars, stars, stars, stars. They're everywhere during the night. Scattering amongst the sky and shining down on us. I could just stare at them for such a long period of time.

Galaxies, a gigantic collection of stars. It starts in a cloud of dust and gas, gravity pulls them together into clumps- so ferociously that the pressure makes them glow. Forming a spectacular piece of creation from nothing to something. Galaxies are absolutely gigantic and although they contain millions or even trillions of stars, they are mostly empty space. The stars, so far apart from each other that if each star was a person, the nearest would have to be as far away as the moon.

There are different shaped galaxies out there: spirals, barred spiral, elliptical. But my favorite would have to irregularly shaped ones. Why? Because even though they're not as coordinately shaped as the other galaxies, they have their own charm to themselves. They emit individuality and they're different compared to the others.

Now we move on to constellations. Constellations are a group of stars forming a pattern. Constellations are imaginary images that people has made over the years. The purpose of these constellations is to tell which stars are which since there are billions out there.

Farmers used these stars as a guide to know what season it was. For example, Scorpius is only visible in the northern hemisphere's evening sky in the summer. When they see a certain constellation they would know when to start planting and when to start harvesting.  

Perhaps there is a sense of mystery in the night sky that makes people want to create stories about the constellations. They let their imaginations run wild and just make up these mythical folklores and create a new dimension to stars.

Above all, stars. Huge, twinkling, fiery balls of hot gas. These little dots we see in the heavens above, illuminating such great beauty from earth.

Stars are being born and dying all over the universe. The bigger the star, the shorter it's life. We thought so otherwise here on earth. The bigger the person, the longer they'd hold on to life. A lesson that the universe teach. That size doesn't matter and as long as you radiate brightness, then you're good. 

Those were just snippets of what I admire the most about the universe. But even as I talk about the universe and the things I love about it, there is a greater love that overshadows my dedication to the universe.

Daehyun.

Him. You see, he's my lover. My other half, my boyfriend, my soul mate, whatever word there is that you want me to label him as.

He's my imperfection.

You might be thinking, isn't that too harsh. But let me explain why he's considered as that to me.

We're both imperfect people, and so is our love. I accept that. I've accepted that long ago and I don't have a single problem with it. I like it that way. We get into fights, we have misunderstandings, times where we feel neglect, jealously, and indifference between our relationship. We both have our flaws and we both have something bad to say about ourselves.

But that's just normal. Completely normal.

I still accept him despite those. There's understanding between us. I can handle and control the love I have for him. No matter how simple that thing is, whatever it is, that I love about him. To me, this feels like eternal love and I'm not one to say cliché, overrated things. But for this matter, it's inevitable.

He's Daehyun and I love my ball of imperfection.

He's my world and everything surrounding it. He may not be as big as the universe but that doesn't matter, he's my youniverse. He's filled with life- so infinitely, coming to no beginning and end. 

He's Daehyun, and that to me is enough of a reason.

But no matter how bittersweet this fact is, he's...he's joined the stars among the billions of others. It was unexpected and it was definitely not what I was hoping for. It just flashed before my eyes.

At least I'm assured that he doesn't have to suffer life. He doesn't have to experience the pain and suffering of living. He's somewhere in his own paradise. I'm letting him go, not that I have a choice. I have to grasp the idea that he's not here anymore. It's too soon but I'd have to do it sooner or later and sooner sounds better.

Despite this, I know that no matter where he is right now, he'd still be this speck of starlight that I love. And I think that wouldn't change anytime soon. I miss him. Yet I know that his spirit is still here lingering somewhere, anywhere.

I still cherish those memories, words that have been said, his touches, kisses, just everything about him. I've kept it all inside my heart, mind, and soul. Not a single thing do I hate about him. Well, maybe his snoring when he sleeps, or when he pees he doesn't 'shoot' it correctly and it drips on the toilet seat, or whenever he gets too hungry he just makes these annoying sounds or-- Wait, no. Scratch that. I still love him. Always.

And so, at the end of each day. I can always look up and see Daehyun. Creating a peaceful, calm reverie for me, an escape. Although not in human form, just through stars. That's okay with me. As long as I can see the universe and far beyond it, I can live. I will live. For him.