The World Didn't Know

iamforgotten

Teardrops fell to the ground as you trudged along the dusty path. Every step you took was slow and heavy, just like the beating of your heart at the moment.


Yunho loved this place.



Indeed, you knew that this cliff above the raging ocean was one of his favourite places. It was the reason why you were here in the first place. It was Yunho’s favourite place in all of Korea, so it was the right place to let him rest.


Sitting on the edge, you tried to think of the memories you had of him. Here was the perfect place to remember the past. Not the past past but your past past. The past you had with him. The past when you were together. It had only been a little more than four years. When Dong Bang Shin Ki was at the very height of popularity and love form the whole world, you, YunChun, in real life, began.


But, then again, it wouldn’t have been long until the band had to break up. And he was the reason for it. Nothing mattered to you and the other guys, though.


Yunho was more important than fame and fortune. Yunho, and love, was more important.


A year ago, you found out that he was sick. You didn’t even understand what disease it was but you knew, you could tell, that it was eating him alive. You were frightened, you were crushed, and you had no idea what to do. When SM Entertainment announced that the band was breaking up, everyone cried.


But no one knew how you felt. No one knew... and no one else was feeling the pain that was in your heart.


You stood up from your position and gripped onto the box that you were holding near your heart. A glance at your wristwatch showed you that it was almost the right time to do what you came to do. You weren’t half as ready to give him up. You knew that and he knew that. But you wanted him to be free. You felt that it was the right thing to do. So with a shaking hand, you popped the lid off and set it on the ground. You looked at the intricately designed jar inside and let out a loud sigh.


Goodbye, my love.


You slid one of your hands inside and seized a handful of the matter in it. Right at the moment when you took it out, a strong wind blew from the water below. It was as if something was telling you, urging you, to go on, to do it.


You opened your hand and let the ashes of the only person you love with all of you fly and scatter with the wind. Slowly, a handful after a handful, you gave Yunho back to the world even though it broke your heart more. It had hurt more because it seemed that you were just someone who stole him from the world and now you were giving him back. But the world didn't even know.


The world didn’t know anything because it wouldn’t have wanted to know.


The world didn’t know that before concerts, the two of you, would lock yourselves in one of the dressing rooms just to hold each other and take some of the nervousness away. It didn’t know that whenever the band had sometime to unwind, the two of you were always left home, at the apartment, because that was the only time that you could actually spend together. It didn’t know that Yunho was the one who would hold you tight whenever you felt like crying. The world didn’t know that you were the one who held his hand everyday since he was first admitted to the hospital. It didn’t know that it was your hand he held onto tightly during the many painful seizures he had. The world didn’t know that you were the one who stayed with him all day and all night. It didn’t understand what it felt like to hold his hand, while crying, when he shouted and screamed because of the pain in his head. The world didn’t know a thing.


It didn’t know that you lost everything when Yunho died...


That you died when he gave up on life... on you.


The world didn't know a thing. It didn't want to know. It didn't want the disappointment that only knowing could bring.