-Lay's POV-

November 25, 2012,

I don't know what was more nerve wracking. The part where I had to wait for him to pick me up, I had sworn that he was going to ditch me or something, or the part where I'm actually on the date with him being sweet and me making every moment more awkward than it has to be, or the part after the date, where I spilled my guts about everything. I guess if I want to tell this story right, I have to start from the beginning, the second after he walked away after school. 

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"I'll pick you up at 7, dress nice, and find a place to eat." He said as he waved goodbye. My heart began to race. My first ever date, of course he didn't know that, but to me it was a really big deal. There were so many things rushing through me head. Like, where should we eat, or what should I wear, or how am I not going to mess up the best thing that's happened to me since I got to Korea. My hands were beginning to sweat just thinking about it. I had nothing planned, I had no experience, I mean what if he expects me to be all experienced, and be all smooth or what not. What if being me will scare him away. I didn't know how to go along with this. I just really wanted him to like me, for who I was, not for who he thinks I am. I know I should've told him about my past, and what I've been through, but I'm almost sure he'd run away from me if I did. Everyone else did. Apparently I'm just the type of person that drives everyone away, by either scaring them, or just being too weird. How do you even tell someone something like that. Everyone says they don't judge, but deep down they do. What if me telling Baekhyun about my past makes him change his view on me. I can't let that happen, not with Baekhyun, not with the first real friend I've got since ever. As much as this bothers me, I can't let it show, he's going to notice and then i'm going to have to tell him. I took a deep breathe in and turned to the exit. Time to walk home and prepare for a night of either great happiness, or great despair. Let's just hope this goes well.  As I got to my door, I quickly opened it and entered my room. I looked through my closet and found nothing that would impress Baekhyun. Or I thought, since nothing seemed to impress me. He seemed too good for me, I didn't deserve a guy so sweet as him. Baekhyun was this magical person why would he want to be with me? What do I have that he wants? I just can't seem to wrap my finger around, but either way, I need to impress him...in some way. Maybe I should write something down. That usually calms me down.

(Lay's journal)

November 24, 2012

Hi Journal, okay so here's the news. This really cute guy just asked me out on a date, or at least I won a date from him. But I guess it's the same thing when he said that was the deal. He's picking me up tonight at 7, but I'm so lost on what to wear. Honestly, I've never been on a real date before. This is my first, and he's my first...well first boyfriend. I don't even know if it's official. I better not mention anything before I scare him away anymore. It really , I lied to him today. I told him that I had friends. Yeah, because I have friends. I was afraid that if I told him I was a loner in China and in Korea he wouldn't want to be friends with me. Henry probably wouldn't even be my friend if it weren't for my mom being close friends with his mom. *sigh* How did I just go from super excited to depression mode. I should be happy! Shouldn't I. Baekhyun, the cutest guy in that Dance Academy had asked me on a date and I can't stop moping over my life. How am I supposed to make this date memorable for him? Great, now I'm asking my journal for advice. I probably can't even tell him I write in my journal everyday. What would he think of me. Anyways, it's almost 6, I think I should get ready and wait for him to pick me up. I'll catch you up later. Bye Journal.

Lay.

Okay, so that didn't calm me down at all. What on earth do I do. I have nothing to wear, and no where to eat. Crap, I hadn't found a place to eat yet! This is going to be the worst date ever! I guess I'll just freshen up. I mean atleast I can shower for the guy. I sprinted to the bathroom and locked the door as I turned the water on. I'm a little short on money so I just the cold water and took a 3 minute bath just to wash my hair. I'll just put lotion on my body, I thought to myself.  That way I'll smell better. I didn't have enough money to afford any type of cologne so I had to use small amounts of Lotion that I stored in my bathroom. If it weren't for my mom talking to Henry's mom I wouldn't have been able to come to this school with a full scholarship. My mom's also short on money, she wasn't able to raise me and her at the same time, so I was sent to Korea where Henry's mom could look after me as much as possible. Which was only putting me through school, she expected me to get by on my own, of course my mom doesn't know that, she would never let that happen if she knew...only if she knew. I just took a deep breathe and found the most decent thing I could find in my closet. I put on a plain white t-shirt and a black and red button up shirt. I made sure to leave the 2 buttons at the top open so I didn't strangle myself, I was nervous enough. I put on a pair of jeans and the best pair of shoes I had. They were clean white nike high-tops that I had saved for a special day to wear. I made sure never to dirty them. They were the closest things I had to something new. I looked at the mirror in my room and just stared at myself. I look decent...enough,  I thought to myself. It was a first date, I'm sure Baekhyun wasn't looking for a completely dressed up partner. All of sudden my door bell rang. Wait, I have a doorbell? No one really came to my house so hearing the doorbell completely shocked me. Scratch that, no one ever came to my house, so I never realized that I even owned a doorbell. I thougth Baekhyun would knock...like I thought most people did. Guess I was wrong then. I walked up to the door, taking a deep breathe in and clearing my throat. I swung the door open and there he was standing there. all the adorable 174 cm of him. "That's what your wearing?" He asked me and I could feel my face go pale. I was right, this wasn't enough. Omo he probably already hates me. I just heard him laugh. "I'm kidding Lay, you look amazing. Relax! Now come on." I tried to fake a smile, but he could tell it wasn't real. He decided to take my hand interlocking his fingers with mine as he dragged me outside and shutting my door. I'd be lying if I said that didn't make me feel better, but I was still scared for what was to come. I wanted to enjoy myself, I really did. But I was always scared that something would happen, that I'd scare him away. I knew he could tell, but he never said anything about it. "So where do you want to eat?" He asked with his signature eye smile that would always make me turn red. He was just so damn cute, I couldn't help it, no matter how depressed I was that eye smile made me smile. "Honestly Baeky, I still haven't thought of a place to eat. And since I'm new to Korea, why don't you show me to the place you prefer." I tried to seem as happy as possible so I didn't disturb his mood. I could tell he was happy, I just don't understand why. I wasn't doing anything right, I was a nervous wreck that was going to collapse at any moment. I was unstable, yet he still smiled at me. Everything he did was to make me smile, even though he had no clue what was going on through my head. How could someone be so selfless, how can someone be so caring. I bet it would all change if he just knew my story. That's how it always is with everyone. They're nice until the truth comes out. I knew I had to enjoy everything as long as I could before this blissfulness ended. "Come, I'm going to take you to my favourite place." Baekhyun grabbed my hand again and dragged me around the corner to a place with bright lights. I looked up at the sign and it said "Yeollie's Karaoke BBQ!" That was kind of odd. "What is this place?" I asked. "It's a Korean BBQ place that has Karaoke. I used to go here with my best friend before he started dating Kris. Now I never seem to be able to hang out with him. It's okay though because he's happy, that's all that matters, and I have you, and that's all i need." My face couldn't help but gain some colour as I heard his response. He was being so sweet to me. Every word he said was either a compliment or something to make me smile and laugh. I don't understand how he could be like this when I'm being such a boring awkward person. He brought me into one of the private rooms and sat me down beside him. "We'll eat first and then sing some karaoke, okay?" He asked with a smile on his face too big to fit his adorable face. I simply nodded and smiled back because I couldn't help but smile at his excrutiatingly happy face. He smiled even bigger (if that's even possible) when he saw me smile a real smile for once. "You smiled!" He yelled in glee. "I smiled before," I said defending myself. "Please, you and I both know they weren't real. Now are you going to tell me what's wrong?" Of course he knew they were fake. Of course he noticed that something was bothering me. Why wouldn't he...he's so observant, I can't hide anything from him. I didn't want to ruin the night so I just told him, "Maybe later. Let's enjoy the night first." The food had arrived. It was wonderful, the BBQ flavour was perfect and the meat was so tender and Baekhyun's voice as he sung to me was perfect, he was perfect. The night was going better than I expected. Of course I knew this wouldn't last, but I didn't know when it'd go downhill again. I just wished that the rest of the night wouldn't go too badly. Tonight was the first night in a while that I've had fun. Baekhyun's the first person to truly make me laugh, to make me smile, to make enjoy life for once. Without his presence, I don't think i'd ever feel happiness again. It was late now, and he offered to walk me home. I kept on refusing because I knew he had to go home as well, but he insisted and before i can say anything he planted a kiss on me. His lips on mine, his warm breathe on my skin. His everything was just sheer bliss. I took it all in before it went all wrong. I could smell his strong cologne, as I placed my hand on his cheek. As he pulled away, I felt me longing for more, but the feeling didn't last. Not because I didn't want to kiss him, but because someone started approaching us quickly. I could hear his footsteps from behind me. And the look on Baekhyun's face wasn't a face of disappointment towards the kiss, it was fear. I slowly turned around as the man in the ski mask began to approach. "You," the man screamed. I pointed at myself and asked, "Me?" His voice became annoyed, "no not you, him." He was pointing straight at a clearly confused Baekhyun. "M-m-me?" he whimpered. "Give me your money." He yelled. So clearly, I did not look the part to have any money on me, he was oddly correct. I had absolutely no money on me since I knew Baekhyun was treating tonight. Baekhyun began to reach to his pockets when something hit me. I was not going to let him get mugged tonight. Not by anyone, he had made this night the best night I've had since I was 8 years old, I'm not letting some guy ruin it. "No," I said loud and clear. "What did you say?" the man began to get closer as he lifted his fist. "You're not getting his money, not over my dead body." I yelled at his face. "Well that can be arranged." although he was wearing a ski mask, you could tell he began to smirk. "LAY!" Baekhyun yelled, but he was too late, the man had laid a right hook to my face. Baekhyun caught me as I fell. It hurt more than it should've. Suddenly I remembered my injury I had gotten years back when I was still in China. Crap,  I thought to myself. I was weaker than I thought. Suddenly I felt a sharp feeling hit my stomach. The man had kicked me in the stomach, a little too close to my waist area re-igniting the pain that had first caused the injury that never really healed. The man just scoffed and left yelling, "That'll teach you to mess with me." Baekhyun just looked down at my bleeding face. "Omo, Lay! Why did you do that?" He was so worried for me, he looked at me like I was a lost puppy. I just smiled and tried to lighten up the mood. "At least he didn't get your money." He let out a laugh trying to hold back the tears that were clearly forming in his eyes. I tried to get up but the pain was too intense for me to even stand properly. Baekhyun was able to catch me and help me up before I had fallen again. "Lay, are you going to be okay?" I nodded wincing at the pain. He didn't believe my nod one bit. He insisted that he would stay with me tonight at my place. I tried to stop him by saying my place was a mess and all, but no matter what I said, his mind was set on taking care of me for the rest of the night. He put an arm around my waist and put my arm around his shoulders and helped me walk back to my place. As we got to the door I gave him my key letting out a little groan because the pain in my side. Everything was hurting more than it had to, my injury had made the pain increase drastically. He quickly got me to my room and laid me down lightly on my bed. I kept wincing everytime his arms brushed by my waist. I had to tell him, he was already suspicious anyways, if I keep him in the dark all the time he's really going to leave me then. "Lay, why does it hurt so much? He didn't hit you too hard did he?" Baekhyun was clearly worried. I knew I had to tell him. I just didn't know how. "Lay, seriously, your scaring me. What has been bothering you all night. Since the second I rang your door bell, something has been on your mind. What is it, please ,Lay, tell me." His voice began to crack as tears started running down his cheeks. "I can't," I whispered still scared of the truth. "If I tell you, you're just going to leave me like everyone else." Baekhyun looked at me surprised with my response. His eyes still red from crying. "Why would I leave you? What do you mean?" I just turned my head. "Everyone leaves, they always do. Trust me, Baeky." "I don't get it Lay, what do you mean." "I mean you're never going to really stay with me! You're just going to leave me like everyone else!" I began to yell still wincing at the pain. "Why would I leave!" Baekhyun yelled back with frusteration as more tears began to show. "Because of my past." I whispered softly too scared to face it myself. "If you knew what I went through as a kid, you'd want to leave me too, just like everyone else." I felt tears run down my eyes as I recalled my memories from when I was younger. "Tell me," Baekhyun whispered softly. "Tell me what happened to you." I knew I had to, and it was now or never. The outcome, that was what I couldn't predict. I took a deep breathe in and started my story. "Ever since I was born, my mom became an alcoholic. She became abusive towards my father and as much as my dad loved me, he couldn't live with my mom. He left my mom and I when I was only 2. And suddenly, I became her target. She was so mad over my father leaving, and the alcohol wasn't helping. She began to blame me for his departure. She began whipping me more and more leaving marks all over me. Once when I was 4 she whipped me so hard to the waist that had created pain to who knows where. All I know is the doctor said that it would never fully heal. The pain would go away slowly, but if I did anything too active or too vigorous, that the pain would come back no matter what. I began to gain bruises everywhere. Either way, I had to go to school anyways. I had bruises all over my arms and the word about my mom being abusive and a drunk got around. Luckily this wasn't until I was 7 years old. But it was still bad. My best friend had left me, and the last thing he said before I never saw him again was 'you devil child, stay away from me!' I didn't even know he knew such words. We were only 7, but I guess my life was filled with surprises. My teachers were too scared to teach me, afraid that I was cursed because apparently my mother was the devil. Psycologists refused to treat me, and asylums refused to contain me. It seemed that everywhere I went, I was never really accepted. Soon after my mom had dumped me on the streets when I was 10 years old, since she had had enough of me, someone had found me. She was a sweet lady, like you, but a lady. She cared for me even though she didn't know what happened to me. She didn't care, she looked at me like you do, like I was a lost puppy who just needed direction, who just needed someone to love them. And truthfully, I did, I still do. She was also a psycologist, but sadly not a very successful one. She had fully adopted me after 6 months of legal papers. She took care of me as much as she could. She supplied food, water, as much school as she could afford. And when Henry said his mom was a friend of mine, he meant his mom worked with my mom, or at least the closest thing I've ever had to an actual mom, in her company. She was so caring, but sadly, her company had gone out of business. She was losing money faster than she was gaining money. She decided to ask Henry's mom for a favour. If she could look out for me if I moved to Korea, and of course she agreed. So my mom sent me off, and with the last of her money she had bought me a journal. She told me that whenever I'm feeling anxious, or worried, or even just happy and I want to let my feelings out, to just write into the journal. Ever since I got here, I haven't missed a day without writing into the journal. It makes me feel like I'm telling her everything that's happened in my life, like I'm telling the person that I love and that loves me back what made me smile, because I know that she'd smile so brightly if she knew I was happy." I looked down, vision blurred from all the tears that had flowed down my face. "And when I met you," I began to look up to be able to stare into Baekhyun's now even more red and puffy eyes from sobbing from my story. "I finally found something that I should be happy for. When I met you, I finally found joy. I found it in your laugh, your smile, the way you always tried to make me laugh. You reminded me so much of her, and you were everything I had longed for ever since she sent me off. You made me smile for the first time in a long time. You made me laugh and you  made me proud to be alive. When I met you, you lit up my dark world and showed me the path to happiness. Because of you, I was able to stand up for myself and someone else tonight, even though I knew it wouldn't end well. You are my rock, just like my mom." Before I could say anything more. Baekhyun put his arms around me and brought me close. Everything hurt, but the feeling of him being here with me, even after what I told him, was reassuring. He was really different, he was really going to stay with me. I held him close as I took in his scent, his pressence. I have never felt so safe in a place so unfamiliar. "I'm so sorry," he whispered in my ears. "I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. No one deserves that, especially someone like you." He began to sob in my shoulder. "What do you mean?" I asked. "This shouldn't happen to someone who's so caring. So kind, so worried about other's feelings that he would keep it from someone to spare their emotions. Those things shouldn't happen to such a pure soul, to such an innocent kid. Everyond deserves better." He couldn't stop his sobbing. His tears were uncontrollable. This guy, the guy who actually stood by me, genuinely cared about my feelings. He's the first person to ever actually  stand by me, even after my story. I truly didn't deserve him, but what can I do. He always insists to stay by me, no matter what. "Pass me my journal," I said to him as I pointed towards my desk. "I need to write in it." He smiled and grabbed the pen and journal off my desk and handed them to me. I began to write. November 25, 2012.

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And that's it. It's 3 in the morning and he's still sitting beside me watching me write all this in my journal. I can still feel his warm breathe on my arm and his head in the crook of my neck. How did I get so lucky? I guess, not everything in life is bad. My mom would be proud of me, I can see her smiling now, like the way she always does when she knows i'm happy. I can just imagine how she looks, how happy she'd be to know that I've finally found someone who actually loves me the way she does. I really hope I can see her one day. I want to show her how much I've accomplished, I want to introduce her to him, my one and only Baekhyun. 

Sincerely,

-Lay/Yixing 

WAHHHHH D: i almost cried writing his back story...WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MY POOR LAY! oh, this was a sad chapter...but it had a happy ending :D He found happiness after all! He found baekhyun x3 OH HE"S SO LUCKY to have him <3333! I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. It's up kind of late, but I was busy today. I hope you enjoy this chapter and look forward to more to come! We still needa learn about Kai's nasty past and why he's such a (as Kyungsoo put it) Manwhore...every person has a past....just gotta figure it out. Aishhh!!! I'm so depressed now D: I need gifs to cheer me up :D So today's GIfs Special Guest is: KYUNGSOO...or D.O HOWEVER YOU WANT TO SAY HIS NAME!!!! he's just too adorable, he'll bring my spirits right up :D 

Oh i was right :) His adorable face just brightens my day :3 <3333 

It's sooo cute how his face is actually like this: O_O I don't even think he notices it xD BUT ITS SO FRIGGEN ADORABLE <3333333 

Okay guys, thats all for today. Hope you enjoyed this :) Comment below if you'd like :D I'd love to hear from everyone!!! GOODBYE LOVELY PEOPLE <333

Peace out <3