IN YOUR EYES (oneshot)

Kim Jaejoong, Lee Nara (OC), Choi Minho

Why am I so afraid to lose you when you’re not even mine?

JYJ’s very own make-up artist Lee Nara is attracted to the most handsome member of it, Kim Jaejoong. Telling herself to keep her own feeling in her heart, she doesn’t think she’s worthy of his attention and their worlds are completely different. But, ironically, Jaejoong loves her for who she is, the way she’s so shy and always keeps to herself, made him curious on why she’s acting that way. He’s attracted to her very much, and wants to protect her from the dangers of this treacherous world.

Nara is afraid to love due to her past relationship that was wrecked mercilessly, afterward leaving her broken and quiet, never daring to love another. While Jaejoong has never experienced love, and doesn’t know what it feels like. Will love between these polar opposites bloom? And will a certain friend of Nara’s help their relationship? Or make it become a horrible failure like her previous ones?

Nara’s Point of View

Ever since I became a make-up artist, make-up’s become my lifestyle. It’s not just an activity, it’s not just a service us people provide for those who want them, and definitely not just to change others’ appearances and make them look so much more different. Make-up is a way of life, something that I indulge in when I feel like it, something that’s become my passion. It’s like music, something that completes your live. I’ve devoted almost half my life into this lifestyle, make-up. As it’s said, a girl is never wearing make-up just to make her face look like skin.

Make-up changes a person entirely, and many people look on it as an essential, but they don’t understand the power of it. Without make-up, some people don’t have confidence. Without make-up, some people aren’t beautiful. Without make-up, some people are helpless. It increases self-esteem greatly. Well, now that you know about my passion, you wouldn’t want to hear me go on and on with a five page essay about it, yes? So, here’s my story about me and Jaejoong, a love story that involves treachery, betrayal, beauty, make-up and most of all, love.

I have been training under an official make-up academy and I’ve gotten pretty far already. I’ve worked my way up to a status where anybody would need a make-up session or tips from me. But I myself, am not a very confident person. I’m shy, and I don’t exactly love to show off my abilities. There was this one day, where Avex, an entertainment company asked if I could be JYJ’s very own make-up artist. I had my fair share of Korean pop, but I never really paid attention to bands like JYJ, so I asked, “What’s JYJ?” I thought that once that question was out my hopes of becoming their make-up artist would be shattered, but it wasn’t. I remember their one sentence, “Jaejoong, Yoochun and Junsu, the three legendary singers in this world.”

From then on, I accepted the contract of being their make-up artist and was formally introduced to them. Yoochun, his nickname’s Micky (Yes, Micky and not Mickey) Yoochun. He’s a singer-songwriter, composer and occasional actor as well. One of the things that were interesting about Yoochun was that he’s allergic to fur. I thought it was pretty funny back then, because, well, fur is something that most of us come into contact too. Junsu’s stage name is Xiah Junsu, whose talents are like Yoochun’s exactly. He’s a very affectionate guy, and I thought his introduction about himself was remotely humorous as well. He has five cats and a pet dog. He’s an animal-lover of course. The last one’s Jaejoong. The mighty Hero Jaejoong, he’s known as. The first time I laid my eyes on him, I couldn’t believe what I saw. He, a perfect goddess, stood before me and smiled politely, simply introducing himself as Jaejoong. Back then we weren’t so familiar and close to each other. He’s the lead vocal of the group, oh God bless his lovely voice.

Jaejoong was the one I couldn’t bring myself to look at because, I did, absolutely, definitely, positively, unquestionably, no strings attached, beyond any doubt, unconditionally, fall in love with him. The moment I set my eyes onto him. But, I tried to suppress my feelings because, one; Jaejoong and I were worlds apart, we couldn’t ever be together. Two; my past relationship. I had one before, and it was the scariest relationship in the world. Probably, at least. He used me, to get closer to my best friend, Kim Eun Mi, and broke up with me for her. He used me. He harshly broke up with me and I never loved since then. Never. There were people who asked of course, but I always rejected them. You probably are thinking, ‘what a . It’s just a guy using her!’ But it wasn’t. It was a beautiful relationship that shattered into a million painful pieces, and as much as I tried to put it back together, I just got more hurt that I already was.

Hence, I never try to go near Jaejoong, ever.

Jaejoong’s Point of View

Nara is JYJ’s make-up artist. She as a person is really talented in her own field, and friendly as well. To Yoochun and Junsu, she is really helpful and can speak to them in Banmal, informally, in other words. But to me she always honorific, as if I’m much older than her and need extra special care and respect. I know she likes me, and I can tell, but every time I try to ask her about it, I end up getting tongue-tied and butterflies form in my stomach, which, annoyingly, I can’t get rid off. I really don’t know, I’m confused, whether she wants to confess to me or not. I don’t know when.

But I love her, very much actually. The very first time I laid my eyes on the petite and beautiful girl, I was stunned by those big, brown eyes, which had bewitched me. She had an eye smile, a soft voice, but behind those eyes, there were always that hint of sadness and I didn’t know why. It was worrying, actually. I wanted to protect her, as a brother, or as a companion for life, I didn’t know then. But I wanted to be someone she could count on, someone trusting that would be by her side, as her support. She has family, but they live in another part of Korea, so she was lonely in this foreign part of the country. Seoul is a beautiful place, and I want to take her hand and let her enjoy it.

But would she let me do it?

Third Person’s Point of View

Jaejoong has been very busy with his tour around Asia, and JYJ has had superb audiences. One idol in particular had her eyes set on this beautiful god, and her name none other than Sandara Park, otherwise known as Dara. She is a very sweet girl who has no intention to steal anyone, but coincidentally wants to have Jaejoong as her boyfriend. She even posted on her me2day ‘Kim Jaejoong hwaiting! Kim Jaejoong, saranghaeyo!’ Many fans are shocked by her outburst, and her protective brother Park Sanghyun in MBLAQ also was equally angry and surprised. It was heard that Thunder even stormed over to 2NE1’s dorm just to question Dara’s actions!

With JYJ’s tour going on, Jaejoong never heard of the news and is surprised to see Dara at his concert in the Philippines.

“Dara? You’re here?” Jaejoong asks curiously, when Dara appeared backstage while Nara is doing Yoochun’s make-up. “Neh, oppa! Good luck for your performance later! If you do well, I will treat you! Secretly of course, I don’t want all the fans to bash me up!” Dara smiles at him, winking a little. Jaejoong blushes, anticipating the treat, but at the same time thinking about why her sudden visit. He decides he’ll ask her later. Nara, meanwhile, is shocked by another girl’s sudden appearance, and doesn’t know what to do.

The performance goes quickly, with Dara staying backstage, constantly texting. Nara tries to make conversation. “Annyeonghasaeyeo! What is your name?” “How can you not know me? I’m Dara from 2NE1. You’ve heard of us, right?” Dara smiles, pretending to be hurt by her question. “Neh, I have but I don’t really know all of you well.” She answers, hesitant.

An awkward silence follows. “Anyway –” Nara starts to say but is cut off by the return of JYJ. Their performance has ended already. Three sweaty boys enter the room, saying hello to both of the waiting girls. Nara immediately congratulates the boys for their accomplished performance along with their manager. The manager says that it’s been a success, and that they would celebrate in a restaurant that he has prebooked. “We won’t be going! Since it was such a success, Jaejoong, we’re going to go and eat together!” Dara links her arm with Jaejoong, grinning at the manager. “Alrighty then, since two of you are so close, we’ll – Junsu, Yoochun, Nara and I will go for the celebratory party ourselves, arasso?” “YEAH!” Yoochun and Junsu high-fives simultaneously.

Nara feels a sting in her heart, unusual but true. She never has to go a day without spending it with Jaejoong and watching him as he goes along for his activities. And the girl had dared to even link arms with someone she barely spoke a few sentences to! Tears prick dangerously at her eyes, threatening to fall; yet she doesn’t know why. “Manager oppa, excuse me for one second.” She manages to say before dashing to the bathroom. She quickly runs to the cubicle and shuts the door. Suppressing her cries for fear of Dara hearing her, she clamps a hand over .

You’re going overbroad with this Nara.

That’s because you are crazy insane, over Kim Jaejoong.

No I am not! Shut up!

Yes you are, and you know it. Kim Jaejoong is the one you love!

But he’ll never love me back, that’s the problem, obviously.

He will. Would you just have some confidence in yourself? For the love of God what is wrong with you?

I have no self-respect, alright?

What you need is confidence! He does love you and you know it.

No he does not. And he never will.

The inner voice in Nara fights with her own mind, and she doesn’t even feel that her voice is helping her. Now that Dara is her new ‘enemy’, she has more to fight for. But wait, Jaejoong doesn’t even have anything to do with her, because she’s just his make-up artist. Just his make-up artist, no more, no less. “Kim Jaejoong, why am I so afraid to lose you when you’re not even mine?” She asks herself in a strained voice, her vocal cords pulling at her, almost as if she’s ripping her heart out.

She sniffs, wiping her face with the back of her hand, unlocking the toilet door. She scans the area, hoping Dara didn’t come in. She didn’t. Nara flutters her eyes once, and decides to stop crying completely. Jaejoong doesn’t love you, and there’s nothing you can do about it, okay, Nara? She tells herself, mentally slapping herself while she’s at it. It’s been only ten minutes, she can pass it off as a stomachache due to the ‘pressure’ she felt while waiting for the boys to come back. She looks at her reflection and sees the usual gloominess in her eyes. She touches the mirror sadly, closing her eyes, letting her feelings rush back to her one last time. Dara’s appearance, Jaejoong’s acceptance… All of it. Then she lets go of it, her eyes opening.

Nara manages a smile, and lifts her shoulders once, up and down, before walking out of the bathroom. “Mianhae, I had a stomachache!” She exclaims, trying to fake enthusiasm. Jaejoong shoots her a quizzical look, but she ignores it, still not able to look in his eyes. “Nara, Yoochun, Junsu, let’s go eat some celebratory food!” Nara cheers along, going out with the boisterous pair and the manager. Halfway through their walking, she realizes that she’s forgotten her handphone and left it in the concert area. “Manager oppa, why don’t you guys go on ahead first, you can text me the address, I will take a taxi there by myself.” Nara tells the manager. He nods and smiles, “Be careful, it’s fairly late and this is a foreign area, arasso?” “Neh oppa, take care as well!” She replies politely, not forgetting her honorifics.
She quickly runs back to where they were previously, and Jaejoong, along with Dara, are leaving. They seem to be engaging in a serious conversation. Nara hesitates, biting her lip as she decides whether to hear it or not. In the end she decides not to listen, but it seems to be against her own will when she hears this, “Oppa, I love you, don’t you understand?” Her breath hitches and she turns on her heel, feeling the tears well up again suddenly as she presses her ear against the door.

“Jaejoong, I really do love you! You told me you love me, neh? You love me Jaejoong, and I know it, so let’s –” Dara says, but Nara cannot continue hearing it. She turns around, not knowing that she makes a very much audible sound. Dara and Jaejoong both hear it, but only Jaejoong decides to attend to the matter. Dara stands there helplessly like an injured deer. Nara runs, as fast as her legs can carry her. She cannot take it any further. Jaejoong, the boy she loves, loves another girl after all? And to think she, so naïve and innocent, thought that Jaejoong’s been loving her this whole while.

She runs like the wind, her hair flying behind her. Her heeled shoes becomes a nuisance and she decides to kick them off. Then she runs, her skin at the feet tearing but it doesn’t stop her the very least. Beautiful memories flood into her mind once again, of her and Jaejoong together, alone during his JYJ promotion periods, in the practice rooms joking with each other, their serious moments, all of them in which triggering a pull in her head, almost as if a gun is ready to shoot any moment. Tears stream down her cheeks and she stops at a reasonably far (she thinks) place. She drops to the floor almost soundlessly, her knees grazing and blood trickling down her calf. “Jaejoong…” She repeats his name into the dark night, the stars twinkling constantly at her as if mocking her misery. “Jaejoong…” She says it again, voice cracking at the second syllable.

The scene of Dara’s confession replays in her head, once, twice, three times over, each time breaking her heart even more than it already is. See Nara, when you get yourself involved with boys, what is the outcome? Trouble. She scolds herself, pulling at her hair, frustrated at her own self.

“Nara!” Jaejoong finds her, the small silhouette sitting, his eyes sparkling. “Don’t come closer!” She warns, but her threat comes out sounding like a scared whimper. “Nara –” he bends down on both knees, taking her hands in his, lifting her chin so both their eyes meet properly for the second time (the first being their first meeting), “I love you. Whatever you heard Dara say isn’t true! I never said I loved her, I never even knew she was going to bring this kind of clinging trouble when I became friends with her! Nara, I don’t like her at all. I only love you, I’ve loved you ever since I first laid my eyes on you.” He says gently.

“Really?” She asks, unsure of her own feelings, pain of her knees and skin slowly subsiding with the anticipation.
“Yes really. In your eyes, I see the solemnity. In your eyes, I see the sadness behind the enthusiasm you usually show. In your eyes, I see the desolation of being in a different place, somewhere you’ve never seen or been to before. In your eyes, I see us. Nara I’ve always wanted to tell you this but I never got a proper chance to. I love you, alright? I never stopped! You beautiful girl, catching my attention the first time I saw you. Pabo! I can’t believe you thought I liked Dara. I’ll only love you, Nara. Only you.”

“I love you too Jaejoong, I love you too.”

How did you like it? I hope it's okay and not too short, because it's 2000+ words, so I hope it's an appropraite length!