“I’m leaving…” Those words he had heard so many times, but yet he could never get used to. It affected him deeply each time those syllables were let out from , the person that could make him feel like nothing matters in the world, but at the same time make him feel like he is nothing at all.

Before a proper response was heard from him, a click sound was heard. The door closed. It signaled that he would have to wait and wait until he hears that  familiar knock which he has been wishing for in his mind. Sometimes, the mind plays with him; with a swift move, he would open the door, only to be left with disappointment upon seeing nothing, but the rug that was always planted there on the ground, ‘Welcome Home.’

How he wishes that he could just leave this place, their home, casually and act like he didn‘t care at all. That’s right, he can’t even act like he doesn’t care, because he is the one who cares the most, even more than she does. He would question himself as to why he would wait. He would think about how stupid he is. He would want to say to her that it’s not okay. But the heart does not do nor feel what the mind wants it to. And so he stays in his position, without moving an inch, like a guard dog waiting for its master to come back.

A part of him also had fears. Fears that he would miss that almost inaudible sound of her knocking or simply not hearing that knock again. He should be able to get over it, but he can’t. Each and every time, he hears the sound of the footsteps moving farther and farther away, it seems to have stepped on his heart in a way no one could describe. And when the click sound is heard from the door, his heart seems to have made the exact same sound; as it breaks in just one click.

He is sitting there again. The only thing that could be heard was the sound of the clock and his heartbeat.

Then there’s that small, tiny sound coming from the door. He knows right at that moment, that it is her. He walks up to that door with an unreadable expression as he reaches for the knob and turns it slightly, then with a pull, a cold breeze awaits him and then there’s her.

Her head held low as she observes her feet for a few moments. She then slowly reaches her hand up to her cap, as she clasps her fingers together on the tip, then removes it off of her head. Lifting her head a little higher, her eyes meet with his.

There’s nothing, but silence as their eyes stay fixed on each other’s.

As she studies those eyes that gave her so much comfort and warmth. She bites the bottom of her lip as she could not hold herself. She drops her bag and leaps into his arms and into his embrace that always reassured her. It feels the same.

“Junhyung-ah…” She mumbles as her voice cracks and tears stains her pale face. Her delicate arms are securely wrapped around his neck and her head is buried in his shoulder. “I’m sorry..” She manages to choke out in between her sobs.

He shows that small smile knowingly as he uses his hand to and caress her hair in that same way he had done so many times before. His hand once again came in contact with that soft, smooth, and familiar surface. “It’s okay, Hyuna-ah, it’s okay…” His heart wavers, but he ignores that.

He wanted to hold on; to hold on to what was left, but it’s not right, for the both of them; they‘ll  just keep getting hurt.“But we can’t be like this anymore.” He didn’t move an inch and neither did she. “You are not at fault, Hyuna-ah..”

She looks up at him with those confused and puffy eyes; her innocence clearly displayed.

Showing that small, but reassuring smile again, he stares into those dark brown orbs. “You don’t love me, anymore, Hyuna-ah” He finally let those words come out of his mouth. The words that he didn’t want to accept, but it is the truth. He wishes that they could just pretend like nothing happened like they usually would, but he couldn’t help but feel that emptiness in his heart. And from that moment, he knew that her heart had moved out and it no longer belonged to him, yet they were both trying and struggling to move it back in, but it just doesn’t work that way.

Tears well up in her eyes as her lips quivered. She avoids his gaze and shakes her head feverishly to deny the fact. The more she shakes her head, the more her tears seem to flow down her cheeks.

She already knew.

He uses his thumb to wipe off her tears. “I still love you, Hyuna-ah, but it’s not the same anymore.” He whispers softly as he embraces her. His mind then wanders off to think of the times when laughter was the only thing that was heard from them and when he could actually give her that happiness that he can’t give her anymore. He looks up to the ceiling as he takes a deep breath. He swears that he could break any second, but he stops himself. He just can’t be vulnerable at this moment.

Closing her eyes tightly, she let the tears flow down as she sobs silently.

He holds all his emotions in ever so carefully for he fears that he might back out of this decision he has made. “There are a lot more guys out there.” He tries to laugh it off. It hurts him more than anything to know that it isn’t going to be ‘forever’ for them as they had promised each other; that promise that they thought they would keep no matter what.

She cries harder on his shoulder as she accepts that truth, that that person waiting for her isn’t going to be him and that him and her were trying hard to hold onto something that wasn’t there anymore. She had gotten used to him being there whenever she returned to that familiar door with her belongings in hand. She had gotten used to his warmth and his embrace once the door opened. She had gotten used to knowing that everything was going to be okay after all this. But getting used to something, isn’t love.

She continues to cry, because she knows that they can never be what they were when they first met and that string that connected and held them together was no longer there and also because…

“I really wished that it would be you.”