Jieun has been playing her phone for several minutes, flipping and tossing it with no interest - at least that's what she thought. Deep inside her, she wishes that he would call or text her like the way he used to every day. But she knew that it's not possible anymore. Let alone texting, they didn't even talk to each other anymore. They lost contact of each other just like that.

Just by remembering the painful memories, a single tear silently escaped her left eye, and ran down her cheek. It didn't take long for her eyes to swell like red bulging puffs, that makes her look like she just got beaten up.

She was crying. She was crying over that guy again. It was no surprise for her though. Since she confessed her feelings to him, all she had ever done was cry. Come to think of it, they were not even a couple to begin with. So why would she cry and long for him again and again? She chuckled sadly when the question filled her mind again.

Yes. Why? She asked herself. But then again, there was no answer - as usual.

Jieun slapped herself on the cheek continuously. It had become the best method for her to get away from her grief, her dismay. "Get a life, Jieun!" She encouraged herself. Call her crazy for talking to herself, but she didn't care - at least not too much. After a long and a good silence, a bitter smile slowly formed on her face. Now, she felt better and also a bit relieved. It felt like it had been ages since she felt this kind of peaceful feeling.

Rising sluggishly from the bed, Jieun trudged across her room, carefully lifting her pink guitar from its resting rack. She grinned silently. It had cost her three hundred dollars, five painstaking hours a day, a bottle of aspirin, and blood and sweat as a cafe waitress when she was 17 years old. She plopped onto an antique sofa and delicately positioned the guitar across her lap.

The disorganized music sheets were scattered on the ground beside her feet. Her fingers dived adeptly into the piles of old paper and picked out one specific paper. Grabbing the music sheet, a gentle hum escaped as her eyes danced around the sheet. The song title is "그 애 참 싫다 (I Really Don't Like Her)"

Memories start to flash in her mind. She chuckled sadly as she thought how childish the title sounded. How she came up with that title was even more amusing. It all started when she felt jealous and angry. She had always vented her anger on the innocent music sheet.

She still remembered how she had always scribbled down one or two messy lyrics on the sheet, when jealously started to rise within her. Shaking her head hard, Jieun tried to stay relaxed before starting.

"Calm down Jieun... breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out." She thought while calming herself.

Without realizing it, all of her sadness slowly yet surely went away the moment she started singing. She decided to forget all of her mixed feelings for awhile, and give her focus on singing solely. Her beautiful and melodious voice accompanied by the similar passage of her guitar suddenly filled her bedroom like air passing by.

Which was a good thing, because her room was usually filled with a negative aura since the time she got her heart broken. If she knew that singing her heart out could wash her sadness away, she would do this all the time.

   Is she still that great?

  Does your heart jump at just a single phone call?

 You even forgot what you were saying and started thinking about something else.

 I'm even more surprised at how your face instantly hardens.

 I've never met her, but I really don't like her.

Date; December, 11th 2011

You told me one of your lame jokes. Being the fool that I am, I always find it funny and laugh over it. No matter how many times you have told me that same joke, as long as we could laugh along together, I'll laugh.

Why not? Seeing your smile, your laugh and your face; It has become the most precious thing in my world right now.

Right now, it's a good thing you came back to your usual self - the cheerful Jang Wooyoung. I don't even want to remember the days back then when you always spend your time in the club, drinking, dancing and wasting time, all because of one girl, that one girl.

But then, all good things always come to an end, so it did at that time. When your phone suddenly rang; I still remember how you picked your phone lazily without even bothered to see the caller's ID. But I also remember how your expression changed after hearing the caller's voice at the end of the line. Within a second, I immediately knew who the caller was judging by your sweet voice and your fool-in-love expression.

After that phone call, your mind and gaze went blank. Your body was still in front of me, but your soul was somewhere far away.

I know it. I know it, Wooyoung.

You can't forget her, the girl who I haven't even met yet, and the girl who you fell head over heels with.

I've never met her, but I really don't like her...

Jieun continued singing while she was trying to remember what had happened next. Her hands that were playing the guitar began to tremble as she tried to fight back the tears that were starting to escape her eyes.

The pain comes out again. It crept slowly inside her body, seems ready to hurt her again.

"Stop crying, please. I'm tired. Why won't this body listen?" She blamed herself. But then she couldn't help but cry silently again. She gritted her teeth hard, in hope it would help to prevent the tears from falling out. She knew she couldn't hold it back anymore, the pain was too much for her to handle.

   You said you forgot about her, that you erased all memories of her.

  You said it's all in the past so you don't even remember anymore.

  But in actual fact, you are still embracing her in your heart and unable to let her go?

  I've never met her, but I really don't like her.

Date; December, 14th 2012

I knew you were lying. I knew your answer, "No. I don't like her anymore, she was my past." was a big lie. Wooyoung-ah, I've known you since we were born. I know everything about you- I know you inside out.

I know when you're nervous, you will your lips continuously.
I know when you're lying, you will avoid meeting my eyes.
I know when you're scared, you will suddenly shutter.
I know it all.

But being the fool that I am, I just took everything you said as the truth. I just want to think that you will never ever lie to me-your bestfriend. Though I know, I'm just fooling myself.

I'm the only person who knows what's best and what's worst for you.
I'm the only person who wouldn't mind if you stepped all over me.
I'm the only person who was always be by your side no matter what happens.
But why you won't look at me just for once? Why you keep treating me like a child?
Can't you see that I'm hurt all this time? Can't you see that I'm waiting here?
Can't you see that? Or have you already turned blind because of that girl?
 
That's how big my love for you is.

Love. I don't really know what love exactly means.

As the one who was abandoned by her parents when I was just a child, I don't know what love is.
As the one who grew in an orphanage since 11 years old, I don't know how it feels to be loved and to love.
As the one who doesn't have any friends to play with except you, I don't know how it feels to have someone you want to treasure in your heart.
And as the one who have never experienced falling in love with anyone but you, I don't know what is the meaning of having butterflies in my stomach.

So many times we have heard the same advice, "You will know when the person in front of you is the one.."

It's funny, before I see and feel it for myself, it's impossible to imagine how that can be possible. But it's true, something happens in a flash, when my mind is unable to take over and my whole body just lets me know that it's the right one.

That's why everytime I see you standing in front of my eyes, I don't think I need to know what's the definition of love to love and to be loved. I just.. feel that you're the one. And the idea of, "it's love, at the wrong place and at the wrong time" never crossed my mind at that time.

But suddenly she came and ruined everything.

She came and ruined you.

She came and ruined us.

I've never met her, but I really don't like her...

 author's notes

/phew/ finally the first chapter is posted already. sorry for the long waiting. actually i have all of the chapters written and i just have to wait for the poster to come. but i decided to not make my readers wait longer. so here is the first chapter! and yay for all of my 15 subscribers! how is it? tell me what do you think about the first chapter. don't forget to leave a comment and i'll love you forever. /send a virtual hug/ & oh btw, the next chapter will be posted soon. 8D