Wake Up 

~★★★★★~

The 20 year old boy was never the chatty type. Always seemed shy and timid, a fairly unamused face on most of the time. It comes in handy when he doesn’t want to be bothered which he doesn’t most of the time. He likes the loneliness. Being able to gather his thoughts to only talk within self and be free of tangible discomfort. 

Usually when things like this happen, he either bluntly ignores or does his best to show the most annoying inner self he can put his thoughts on roaming around in his brain. Which one shall it be today? Psycho will be. But not today. Not with him. Not with this stranger, a nicely tanned, tall looking guy. A young looking guy, he doubts this creature surpasses his own age. The bar is full, full of forty year old Korean men. Which makes him wonder what a guy like him does around here and he’s sure the other is asking himself the same about him. In all honesty Sehun likes the environment. It’s filthy and noisy yes but no one actually bothers him. The noise makes him forget how actually terribly lonely he is. Denying the denial itself he tries his best to go by. This kid might be the most exciting thing it has happened to him all month and he only said hey so far.

“Can I buy you a drink?” the tall male asks. Sehun attempts to reason out. He does that, fights with himself, in his mind, trying to make his actions justifiable. Nineteen percent of the time they aren’t but that’s why denial’s there. He really wants to say no. Because being alone is good.

“Sure.” Nothing actually excites Sehun. Really, there’s nothing. Not even rollercoasters. With that being said he tries his best to find a motive why he finds this guy so enticing. Why would he break his own rule. Being alone is good enough for me.

The tall guy sits next to Sehun in the stools and props himself in his elbows looking forward to the mirror behind the alcohol bottles. He sees himself and eyes, for a couple seconds, the pale boy next to him, looking even paler now if that is possible. Their gazes meet and he smiles. Sehun thinks he’s blushing, he feels himself boiling, but nothing in the reflection tells him away. The tanned boy orders for them. Vodka something Sehun couldn’t quite catch the last words. He exhales and looks at his own hands, them becoming a bit clammy. Tanned boy is looking at him, now directly. Sehun’s leather jacket starts to feel really heavy and warm.

“Hi. My name’s Jongin.” Instead of the bow or even a casual handshake of some sort Jongin only smiles.

“I’m Sehun.” He says showing his usual annoyed face. He hasn’t smiled since he walked in the bar to Jongin’s appearance. A smile tells a lot you know, one of your best assets to be honest. What Luhan didn’t understand was that Sehun never wanted and actually avoided smiling for that precise reason. It tells a lot. It makes people around you feel fuzzy inside. Exactly what he feels each time tanned boy flashes his billion dollar grin. He does it again.

“You’re pretty.” Those were words the white skinned boy wasn’t expecting. Now he's sure the red in his cheeks can be noticed. He ponders of how long has it been since someone complimented him like this. Sehun was never the type to have girlfriends or boyfriends for that matter. He never viewed himself as boyfriend material and thoughts of having someone clinging onto him made him shiver. Luhan was already the human limpet alone he absolutely did not need to have anyone like that twice. I like being alone. He remains silent and Jongin turns away and chuckles. “Do you work nearby?” The quiet bartender hands them the drinks. Sehun isn’t that fond of alcohol but he doesn’t protest and sips a bit.

“No. I go to college.” Fine Arts, dance major he wants to say. Never managed to succeed. Not good enough. Denied in red bold letters. He remembers crying for hours straight in Luhan’s arms. Tanned boy nods. “And you?”

“I- I work. Around the corner.” Sehun is torn between asking for more and minding his own business. He was the one to come to him though.

“What do you do?”

“Boring paperwork. Not a dream job it’s enough to live I guess.” Jongin pulls out a cigarette pack and lit one. “If you’re actually living.” He continued. “If you asked me what I would been doing now 3 years ago I would’ve told you dreams and wonders.” Sehun learns about how Jongin isn’t as different from him as the color of their skins. He just turned 21 and wanted to dance for the rest of his life. Almost made it but the pressure nearly killed him. “The perfectionist I am wouldn’t have survived. I had to be the best.” Sehun swears he sees Jongin’s eyes water practically able to see the hurt through them. Not something the other likes to show he observes, tanned boy being good at changing his expression to a plain one. Just like himself. Hiding all that lives in his heart, everything that makes him look weak. It’s their defense. Luhan hated that.

“Would you go back?”

“No. I learned my lesson. I want to do it because I love it not because of others.”

“Do you still dance?”

“Yeah. I go to a studio close by. Do you?” Sehun wished he could say yes. He doesn’t dance ever since he got rejected. Since his world fell apart. He wished he could’ve taken a different turn back then. Now all he has it’s his mediocre flat and his empty heart. Anything you need sweetheart, we’ll help. He knows how much of a spoiled brat he is. He uses his parents’ money to pay up the worst debts of living alone and pays the rest with some part time jobs money he gathers. Barely talks to them for other than the casual chit-chat about how life is doing and money issues.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I- I just gave up.” Jongin snickers in response.

“Then you don’t love it as much as you say you do.”

“I used to dance for a reason. Happiness. To feel good and alive. I don’t feel that way anymore.”

“Exactly. Don’t you think it’s because you stopped?” Sehun didn’t think that was the reason. Everything in his life had sink down and he couldn’t find a reason to even bother to smile let along dance. “You should dance again. Come dance with me.” Jongin says when Sehun remains quiet. It’s not even a suggestion more of an actual order. The younger boy doesn’t know how to react, having a complete stranger asking such a thing.

“I don’t know.”

“Look. I don’t do this. Going around asking people about their lives but you seemed down and I just decided to give a try and brighten you up, giving my stupid an excuse to feel better about myself. You are interesting though. I like you. I want you to come dance with me.” What possessed Sehun to say yes still remains a mystery.

Tanned boy pays and gets his overcoat from the hanger and puts it on. Sehun spares two glances at his full figure, really nice body structure, long legs and actually really fashionable. What he’s wearing doesn’t actually scream dancer, more of a business guy or a wealthy man, the dark overcoat making him look a lot older than he actually is. He mentally curses thinking he should buy better clothes, his leather jacket feels uncomfortable on his skin. They walk to the dance studio Jongin mentioned earlier. The walk is done silent. Sehun sometimes throws a glance at the older boy and he sees how he has a smile on his face the whole time. It’s freezing to death, the snow on the floor still mostly white and Sehun can’t bring in himself to stop shivering, his teeth gritting from time to time, he walks with his hands buried the deepest possible in his jeans pockets and his shoulders shrugged. While Jongin just walks relaxed as if the cold isn’t overwhelming at all, hands loose in his overcoat pockets and strolling with feet rasping the floor, head held a bit high with a small smile on giving the impression his has the best life he could ask for. As if he is actually really happy.

“Are you happy?” Sehun catches himself asking. Jongin drops his head as well as his smile to face him.

“Why?”

“I don’t know. You look happy.” Tanned boy laughs.

“Well. I just picked up a cute guy. I guess I’m happy.” Sehun flushes, he wished Jongin wouldn’t be so frontal, it makes his heart accelerate but then again he hasn’t felt like this in a while and it actually feels good, playing the role of a little school girl with a crush from time to time. He laughs mentally.

“Would you have talked to me if I wasn’t cute?” It’s his ego showing much.

“Probably not. Those guys you saw there, that’s what I see every day. Seeing you it was like… cotton candy on Christmas.” Now Sehun laughs out loud.

“God that’s cheesy!” Jongin laughs a bit with him and nudges him on the arm a little indignant.

“Hey, at least I try.” The younger boy is still chuckling but doesn’t say anything until his laugh fades away. Silence installs again.  The rest of the walk is quiet but the initial distance between them got notably smaller, they got closer to the point their shoulders would bump a few times if they made a faulty step.

When they reach the building Sehun can see how fancy the place is, they go in and Jongin makes his way to the front desk and he follows short after him. He doesn’t hear the conversation going between him and the receptionist but he can tell she knows him, her face glowing through the pores as she smiles brightly at him. The older boy turns and nods for him to follow. They go through some halls until they reach a gigantic empty room full of mirrors, light brown wooden floor and faint lights. Sehun can’t help his jaw from almost falling a bit at the sight but his jaw only reaches the ground when he notices Jongin undressing himself, overcoat and dress shirt off leaving merely a white wife beater on. Sehun can’t overlook how really sensual Jongin is and how the shirt does a softly nice contrast with his skin. His thoughts are interrupted by a tuned down voice.

“Coming? I’m not planning on giving you a show.” Sehun stays rooted though and Jongin takes that as his cue to go grab him. He reaches his arm and pulls starting to undress him in the meanwhile. Sehun shivers but doesn’t stop him. He could do it himself he’s not a baby but his body is enjoying the attention way too much for his brain to start being rational right now. Jongin grabs the hem of his sweater and pulls up making the younger boy have to lift his arms so the piece of clothing could slide off his torso. His t-shirt rides up softly and he sees Jongin smiling. “There. Do I have to make your body move or can you do that by yourself?” To be honest Sehun is still mentally blocked so he stutters.

“Uh…yeah.” He manages to say. Jongin smiles and goes near the stereo. A Chris Brown song starts playing. Falling Down. The young male snickers at the choice but his grin falls right away when Jongin puts his game face on. His eyes are dark and heavy on Sehun. He starts walking towards him stopping a couple steps in front of Sehun turning to face the mirror and starts dancing. The younger boy was telling himself that he could watch Jongin dance forever, his eyes fixed on the dancer. Jongin looks at him from behind his bangs, through the mirror and realizes he isn’t moving so he turns and starts dancing really close. The melody rushes through his body in languid moves and starts to contaminate Sehun. After all he didn’t forget and he tries his best to remember why he stopped at all in the first place as he starts moving along Jongin. Their bodies are really close but not yet touching. The lights are dim and the gentle tune of the song just involves the room in a hazy mood. Sehun feels loose and actually happy for the first time in a long time as if he was asleep all this time. When the moves start to get sharper they distance away from each other and start dancing as if there was a choreography, as if they did this together all of their lives, as if they knew what the other was thinking.

By the end of the song Jongin gets close again, this time so close Sehun can feel his breath in his cheek and his waist against his. This alone is making Sehun feel warm so when Jongin starts to move against his body that throws him off. His flesh feels so hot and he thinks he can’t get his mind straight at this point, a proof that his brain is getting irrational is that he responds with his own moves. Never would he thought the previous day that in a random night he would decide to go to a small business mans frequented bar and be approached by a stranger this alluring let along biting the bait and actually be in this situation right now. He reasons that Jongin is his other self. He couldn’t find someone so similar to him even if he wanted to. Finding Jongin was obviously faith. When his life was at its darkest god sent him an angel. A while ago he would’ve said his angel was Luhan. The baby face Chinese boy who conquered his heart when he found himself in an unknown place but Luhan wanted something Sehun couldn't give him. Something more. In the end he left. Grow up Sehun. But Sehun didn’t want to grow up.

Jongin makes him feel alive. Right now he thinks nothing else matters and he could dance with him forever. The song stops and they stop as well. The room goes silent only their breaths can be heard. Jongin looks up at him and the younger meets his gaze. For a second Sehun thinks he got lost in the deep of the darkness of his eyes. His thoughts are roaming nowhere, his mind completely blank when Jongin closes the space between them and they kiss. Starts chaste and progresses to a long heated kiss that leaves both of them breathless.

Life is funny sometimes Sehun thinks. He doesn’t know how is this going to turn out but if he learned anything was not to question. Maybe loneliness wasn't the answer. Maybe he should learn to feel again and he is sure Jongin is the answer. He likes it like this. This moment. Savoring it as long as he can. Making it forever his.

~★★★★★~

A little note note: This is the first time I write something in English ever. Anything with more than 300 words I mean. I made it in two days I think, yes, and I'm not really sure what to think about it. orz If you read it thank you. If you comment I'll love you forever. Anyway. I hope you liked it. I dedicate this to Bunbun cause she was the one that started talking about fancfiction and stuff and I wrote it because of her.

Jongin was my inspiration but I ended up writing more from Sehun's point of view. I hope it isn't hard to understand and I at endings and tittle so sorry about that ;A;