Hey buddy,

Since hyung graduated, I don’t really have any friend to hang out with in school. Not that I have any friends to begin with. Everyone thinks I’m weird. They say I speak funny and fast, like I’m communicating with alien in another language. And the way I keep blinking my eyes creeps them out. So, they just stay away from me and I don’t have any intention of approaching them. Hyung suggested I write to you so that I won’t feel lonely and have someone to share with.

I decided to visit the library during lunch break today. I like it there. It was kind of deserted. Figures. All the other kids were probably in the cafeteria or out at the garden soaking up the last summer sun. It was seldom that I enter here. I used to find it too quiet and suffocating. Hence, I always stay away from that place. But the silence has been growing on me. It’s comfortable.

I walked down the long aisle of tall book shelves trying to find something interesting. I picked out an old literature classic. Seems like not many students like reading this section. The books are collecting fine particles on it. I started whistling on my way to find someplace to seat. Not really a good idea to do that in a library. The librarian had this stern look on her or maybe it was just her face. I don’t really care, honestly. I continued whistling my way till I settled for the individual desk by the window. The weather was nice. The warm the sunlight creeping through the blinds illuminated the deserted corner of the library. Just perfect.

I plugged in some music and started on the book. It was boring. I overheard a group of girl saying that men who read literature are attractive and that it is hard to find who reads it anymore. Of course, they are extinct. I honestly don’t understand their minds. Chucking the article aside, I decided to just sleep my lunch time away. The atmosphere was perfect for a nap. All that could be heard was the soft breeze from the air-conditioner.

The silence was not so silent anymore. I was interrupted by a soft weep, followed by a sniffle. And it continued that way. There was no one in the library though. I thought wrong. In the study desk at the corner of the room, sat a girl with her head buried down. She shifted in her seat and lifted her head.

That was when I saw her.

 

 

Hey buddy,

I decided to spend my lunch break at the library again today. I don’t think I can bear sitting all alone in the crowded cafeteria any longer. This time, I was hoping that maybe that girl was there. But then again, I don’t want to get my hopes high.

She was there today. I don’t know why that made me happy. She was sitting at the same spot she did the day before when I saw her. I settled for the same seat I did. It provides a clear view of her from there.

The afternoon sun shone brightly on her. It defines how beautiful her features were. Her almond shaped eyes were this beautiful dark brown. The deep look in her eyes can draw someone in immediately when made contact. Despite that, her eyes have this sparkle to it. Her hazel hair cropped around her shoulder giving her this baby-liked look. The colour of her hair compliments her eyes colour further. I could have easily mistaken it for blushing, but there’s this natural rosy glow on her cheeks. She is pretty. Not those supermodel pretty, but this certain charm she has.

She was crying again. Not bawling her eyes out kind of crying, just the ‘I hope no one saw that’ kind of cry. She quickly wiped it away with the back of her hand. But the crying did not stop. I wanted to go over. Ask her what’s wrong. Give her a hug and comfort her if she was feeling down. I don’t even know why I cared.

I want to spend more time sitting there. I wanted to go over and asked her. But just like the other day, the bell rang indicating that lunch break was over. In short, I had to get back to class or risk being late. Or even worst, absent from class.

So much for ‘saved by the bell’.

 

Hey buddy,

She was crying again today, all by herself like always at the same spot she seats everyday.

 

Hey buddy,

Weird, she’s not crying today. Instead, she was crying out loud by herself in her usual spot. She did not look weird laughing alone though. She looked, well happy.

 

Hey buddy,

I’ve been spending a lot of my lunch break at the library these past few weeks, whenever I can. Like always, the girl was at her usual spot. I love looking at her. I could spend the whole day doing that if not for the bell. Does that make me sound like a creep? I hope not.

You see, the more I watch her, the more I notice little details about her. Remember all those time I caught her crying? Or even just laughing by herself. You see, she was reading. I don’t know how a book can make her cry like that. Or even laugh by herself in public. I tried reading some of the books she read. Now, I see why she did. I even read a literature book that I saw her engrossed in. She is very interesting to watch when she was immersed in her books. Even sometimes, she forget she was in school, only to be reminded by the final bell.

After a while, I started to notice her, as a person. Not the girl who loves to read.

She was beautiful. Not those pretty kind of beautiful. But her kind of beautiful. The way her eyes grew in excitement and the way her lips tugged into a wide smile showing off her perfectly straight teeth. Her smile could light up the room. And she looks so cute, the way she kept blowing her bangs out of her face when it got in the way. It reminded me of her innocence. But I beg to differ. With all those books she read, I bet she must be one matured lady.

 

 

Hey buddy,

It’s October now. The weather is growing cold. I feel like I am changing along with the weather. I don’t feel like writing these days. I don’t know what to write about. I have not seen her for some time. Lately, my English teacher, Mr Lee, kept holding me back in class. He’s been giving me these extra assignments. He said he like my writing. I don’t mind actually since I really enjoy it. I might even write about her. Then again, because of him, I kept missing seeing the girl in the library. I don’t know if I should hate him for that.

 

Hey buddy,

I saw her today. But she didn’t stay for long.

I would really love to talk to her. I don’t know what we will talk about. We could talk about all the books that we have read. Or we could have those small meaningless talk people have in books. Either way, I would love to hear her voice.

 

Hey buddy,

The library feels colder and much lonelier now. I don’t think I like this silence anymore.

 

Hey buddy,

I realised my writings keeps getting shorter and distant.

I’ve been busy with the assignments that Mr Lee gave me. I spent my lunch break at the library doing them. She has not been around lately to my disappointment. But at least it kept my work going. By the time lunch hour is over, my assignments are now.

Right now, I’m writing to you in the library. There’s still some time left before lunch finishes. Actually, the bell just rang.

 

 

Hey buddy,

I was writing an article for an assignment that Mr Lee gave me when I something struck me.

I have been writing to you so much about this girl whose name I still have no clue about. Now, it got me up all night thinking about it. She has the looks of a Jessica? Or Maeri perhaps?

 

 

Hey buddy,

I was reading a book Mr Lee gave me to write about. In the book, the male protagonist describes all his feelings for the love of his life. While reading, it really tugged at my heartstrings.

Remember the time I wrote to you about that one girl? I think I’m starting to fall for her. Not like falling in love. But I may have start liking her. Like really, really like her. You may say it is a good thing. But you see, I have never actually talk to her before. We have never interacted before much less have a conversation together. And the other thing is that, I don’t think she actually notice me. At all. There wasn’t so much of a glance my way. I think I’m going to talk to her tomorrow.

 

 

Hey buddy,

I saw her today at her usual seat. She was all wrapped up with her scarf and beanie, reading her book. My heart pounded like crazy and it felt as if it’s going to jump out any moment.

I walk up to her. I didn’t talk to her though.

 

...............................................