The past
Reminiscencea/n : the picture above isn't mine, but it's just so cute >w< cr to owner. c:
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JESSICA'S POV
I stepped out of the cab, not forgetting to drag this drunk man with me. We stopped in front of a not-so-big-yet-not-so-small house which is Donghae's. We went in, and I notice the whole place hasn't change that much.Ah, It's been a long time since I last went here .. and I could say that I really miss going to this place.
I used to be here at Hae's house often ever since I was little. I always visit him and play with him. In those times that were together, I got to know him more and notice myself liking him. I'm the type of person who is expressive about my feelings. If I don't like someone, I won't spare my precious time just to be with someone I hate. When I like someone, I express it through actions, and that's what I did with Hae. I always express him how I feel until we grew older. A year ago, I decided to confess my feelings for him, but you know what he answered?
l
" I'm sorry, but I only see you as my bestfriend."
Bestfriend. I know that he only treats me like that though I still keep on pushing myself on him, hoping that someday he might feel the same way. But he already said it, he only sees me as a bestfriend and nothing more. My world crashed in an instant, my heart being torn to pieces as I repeated his words on my mind. It's my fault for getting my hopes up, that I didn't even think of what might happen to me if ever he doesn't love me back. I was too blinded by love to even think of myself, and now it's too late, I'm already broken.
Ever since the day I confessed, he started ignoring me. I tried approaching him, but he stays away. I cried myself to sleep at night because of that. Because of my stupidity, I lost him. I should've just kept my mouth shut.
Jonghyun, one of our classmates back then, saw me crying once. I'm fully aware that he likes me, but I chose to ignore it before because I was too blinded by my love for Hae. Instead of stopping me from crying, he let me cry and comforted me the whole time. After that happening, we became closer to each other. That's when I notice how nice, funny and handsome he is, no wonder girls fall for him. That's also the time when I realized that I'm slowly falling for him, too.
One day, he confessed his feelings for me. I thought that this might be the chance for me to forget Donghae, no, I'm not using him. In fact, I already fell for him. But since I'm still broken from what happened before between me and Hae, we didn't started dating immediately but instead, he courted me for a month. And in that month, I saw myself loving him more, so I decided to take our relationship to the next level and officially date him. At least he wouldn't hurt me, unlike Hae.
A week later, Hae knew about it .. and he confesed to me.
*Flashback*
"Sooyeon-ah."
I looked behind me to see the one who just called me by my real name. No one calls me that, well except for..
"Hae.." I whispered to myself. I felt my heart beating fast. "Wha--"
Before I could even continue, I already found myself being dragged by him to the nearest fire exit. I struggled from his hold because he's grasping on my wrist too tightly, "Hae, you're hurting me!"
He let go of my hand and turned around to face me, a frown can be seen on his handsome face, "You made me fall for you, and suddenly I'll just find out that you're dating someone?! What the hell, Sooyeon!"
"W-what .. do you mean?"
"I already fell for you! You made me used on having you by my side that I can't even let a day pass without talking to you.. and I kept on calling for your name, only to realize that you're not by my side anymore.." he sighed, "I missed you so ing much, but I keep on denying my feelings for you because I know it's impossible to get you back.. you might despise me right after I rejected you. But you know what? It just hurt me even more.. please.. come back to me?" he pleaded as he hugged me. His warmth nearly brought me to tears, and before that happens, I decided to push him away.
"No," I said firmly. I breathed deeply before I spoke, "You just can't take me back that easy. I waited for you for god-knows-how-many years Hae, but people get tired too. When you rejected me, I realized that maybe you're not really the one for me, that I shall give you up and move on. You shall do the same too. I'm already happy with Jonghyun,"
"Look into my eyes and say that you don't love me," he went near to me and held my shoulders. I looked straight to his piercing dark obs, drowning me once again with those deep stares. I took a deep breathe, trying hard to hold back my tears that has been threatening to fall since we started talking, "I don't lo--"
I was cut off when soft lips suddenly crashed against mine, making my mind black. I can't hold it anymore - the tears that I've been trying to hold back fell out from my eyes like a faucet. He pulled away from the kiss and brushed his nose against mine, crying as well, "Please .. don't be like this.."
"I'm sorry .." I pulled away from him and turned around. I might cry even more once I see him crying, "Let's just pretend that nothing happened and stay out of each other's lives," Just by thinking about us staying out of each other's lives breaks my heart. But I have to do this for the both of us. I composed myself before I walked away. Away from him and away from his life.
*End of Flashback*
My dramatic pondering was suddenly cut off when I heard a loud thump. I was in deep thought that I didn't even realized that we already arrived inside his room Donghae already slipped from my hold. Since he's too heavy, I just left him there on the floor. Oh well, he won't know 'cause he's drunk anyway. :P
I went outside to check if somebody's home. No one. Donghwa oppa (his older brother) stays at a dorm, while his parents .. they must be staying overnight at work again.
I went back to his room and sa
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