People were full of .

Junhong had learnt that easily.

Girls were full of .

His so called friends were full of .

So when all those around him were so full of on a twenty four-seven basis Junhong had only solitude to reside in.

He didn't want to pay attention to those around him anymore, but he need a pass time: books.

Books prove to be the best companion to solitude. They don't judge, they provide a clear head and a wonderful imagination. They were all he needed and wanted.

The least he had expected of them was finding a love interest; especially one so frank and young.

Well she looked young on the outside. She was mature, made a few jokes here and there, and didn’t tolerate anyone who couldn't understand the codes of conducts of her library.

Her library was small. It was her inheritance from her grandmother, and she had invested in the modern literature shortly after she started managing the library. The historical, political and cultural section was from her inheritance. The literature section was another well-endowed section that her inheritance had supplied.

Junhong loved the literature section and most of his time was spent there.

The section had more than the ordinary library; they had modern European and American novels. He was pretty sure he'd seen all kinds of different authors from all around the world.

He'd leave school as soon as it finished, unless he had after school duties, catch the bus to the town centre (a mere fifteen minute ride) and find himself completing the masses of homework set by the faculty, then grab a book from the shelf and read for a good two hours.

She first saw him doing some trig homework when she was making her regular check.

"It’s strange that you'd bring mathematics to the literature section. Numbers and letters; a funny combination." she commented.

Junhong was out of it until he recognised the feminine voice. He was quiet for a second, processing the words she said.

"It's just homework."

"Okay little soldier, I'll leave you be."

A smile and soft chuckle later she was off.

Brief was the only word that came to his mind about his encounter. And brief wasn't the length of time he allowed himself to be distracted about her.

School continues, people forget homework’s that need handing in, others pass time with revision, and some do nothing but.

Junhong chooses to pass time with revision. He wants to read more. Miss Hwang, the librarian, has just stocked up on the science section and he wanted to start on that; but not yet. He has to wait for his finals before he can indulge. It's only two weeks away, so it'll be worth the wait.

As the end of his exams approaches, so does his summer holidays. And he's ready to spend every waking hour in some recluse in the library, hoping Miss Hwang will stumble upon his haven every once in a while and smiling at him.

He thinks of her quite often; sometimes when he's got one of his English revision sessions going or his History lessons.

He dreams of her too, sometimes it ends with him a hot mess of hormones in his bed at two in the morning.

But that's just wishful thinking; Junhong isn't one for dead ends in life.

He doesn't wish to have something he knows is a million miles away from his reach.

He doesn’t wish to be disappointed after he’s set standards of her.

He doesn’t wish to be ignored.

 

His exams end quietly while all his other classmates go ahead and celebrate. He returns home first after his last exam, a sense of freedom washing over him as he rids himself of his uniform and slips into more comfortable clothing. Getting his bus pass and walking out his house, earphones plugged in, he makes his way to the library.

It’s only midday so he can stay there till nine in the evening, if he tells his mother of course; not that she wouldn’t be able to guess where he was.

Coincidentally his exams finish on a Friday.

So he begins his reading rampage as soon as he reaches the library. To his luck, Miss Hwang is manning the front desk, and next to nobody is here in the parameter. A small smile plasters itself on his face for the duration that he stays there.

Three times Miss Hwang stumbles upon him reading in his small recluse and his smile multiplies thrice the size, even as the events in his book turn unfortunate. Unconsciously his mind doesn’t remember his mantra, he just feels elated that he’s being paid the slightest amount of attention by this woman whom he’s so infatuated with.

Nine O’clock approaches too quickly in his opinion, and he gathers his things, ear phones still in. He sends his mother a text telling her he’ll be home soon.

He walks past the desk, the computers all switched off, the desk is cleared, and the clock ticks closer to nine. But Junhong’s going to take his time walking out.

“Excuse me.”  Someone faintly calls out to him. He hears it, and his head swivels around quickly to be greeted with the sight of Miss Hwang.

His hands fumble and pull out the earphones, dedicating his full attention to her.

“Yes?” his response sounds so desperate in his ears, and he wants to try again sounding more confident.

Miss Hwang smiles at him nonetheless, and that makes him feel a little more confident.

“Next week, I have to take down all the books for an inventory, would you mind helping around?”

Junhong doesn’t even mull it over and agrees. “I wouldn’t mind.”

“Thank you, you’re a life saver,” She genuinely feels thankful, Junhong can feel it from where he stands, “If you could come here tomorrow at around nine, and we’ll get started?” she’s beaming her  charming smile at him. He can feel his cheeks warming up.

“Okay.” He agrees meekly.

 

Nine o’clock swings by so quickly, it slaps him out of bed at eight thirty. Urgency registers in his mind as he scrambles around his room, bathroom and kitchen. He’s out the house in fifteen minutes and gets to the library in time. He gasps for his breath outside the library, his lungs should be in good shape; he doesn’t smoke and exercises regularly. Maybe it’s just because he’s going to see Miss Hwang that his heart decides to pump a little faster.

He makes it up the three steps and past the door, greeted by Miss Hwang sitting in her usual seat; the front desk.

She’s looking in his direction now, and his heart’s at it again, pumping madly.

He smiles at her, and she greets him.

“Ah you came just on time. Follow me.” She spins around walking down the library; the shelves brush past them as he follows her steps. She seems to be the only thing that’s in focus.

A strand of hair from her high donut bun floats by her face as she walks. His heightened senses make him pick out the particles of her perfume in the air from the comforting smell of old books and wood amidst the library. 

It’s sweet, soft and subtle.

Vanilla, he figures out. He’s going to be enjoying this sweet scent for the days ahead.

And he does.

It starts so blissfully amazing. Hyesu, as it turns out to be her name, is perfect in Junhong’s naïve eyes. She takes an interest in what he does, what he’s doing at school, what he’s doing in a library.

“I thought people didn’t bother coming to libraries anymore.” She says a little while after sitting down. Junhong’s made her a cup of tea.

“I thought young kids like you only come here to do your homework, and not even pay attention to things like contemporary literature.”

He points out he’s only sixteen.

“I’m twenty six. You’re young, love. It’s not a bad thing being young.”

A ten year gap separates them, Junhong doesn’t care. She cares about him, and that’s what matters the most in his mind.

 

She gives him the books to stack away in boxes and leaves them at the start of each aisle. In the first day he helps her clear out the history section.

“Where are these going?”

“It’s for an inventory. Need to check what books we have and so on.”  Dust sits heavily in the air.

“To be honest, I wasn’t really looking forward to doing this all by myself, so I had to hire myself some muscle.” She grins at him as she hands him a box brimmed with books and dust.

Junhong feels that statement is a lie, because his arms feel weak each time she compliments him.

She still smells like vanilla between the heavy set fragrances of the books, but it’s probably still Junhong’s love struck senses.

He feels his prior relationship with solitude, tear at the seams. He spends the night thinking of her, not ending up in a hot mess of hormones (he’s begun to control those fantasies), of her gentle, caring nature; of how she cares about his life. He feels wanted, and that helps him keep a smile on his face throughout the whole night and morning after.

At the end of the day a van comes to the library, a guy gets out and helps them to load it into the back. Junhong guesses she’s bringing it over to hers to make sure she’s kept track of the books.

 

Tuesday they begin to clear out the politics and the sciences.

The weather’s colder now.

“Be careful when you’re out, make sure you wrap up warm,” she grins the same grin, “I’ll need my muscle.”

Junhong doesn’t reply apart from a more prominent smile and tingling, crimson cheeks as he turns away from her.

The process repeats, they finish at five in the afternoon, Hyesu telling him he’s free to go, but he insists. He helps put the boxes into the back, loading all they unloaded from the library.

 

Wednesday is the poetry section.

“Do they not teach you Tennyson at school?” she queries.

Junhong shakes his head.

“What a shame. You should tell your friends to come here and stop wasting their stressing about exams.”

I don’t have many friends, he tells her. He doesn’t have any friends.

“Absolute lies. You’re a friendly kid, nice kid; you must have a lot more.” She insists.

I’m a bit of a loner to be honest, that’s why I’m here all the time.

“You poor soul, couldn’t you be more adventurous? Pick an arcade not a library.”

He laughs lightly at her comment; if the arcade employed her of course he’d be there all the time.

 

Thursday sees the removal of the science journals.

“Never was a big fan of the Sciences. I loved my maths and literature, just science wasn’t the best.” She notes when she pulls out a think book titled Science: All around us; nor does he. And their similarities make him a little happier.

They finish later than usual. Even though Hyesu wasn’t fond of the sciences, they libraries’ science section one of the biggest.

 

Friday is quite sad. The whole library is next to empty. But it’s for the greater good, because they’ll soon be up again and he can visit again on.

She begins the conversation again, “So what are you going to do this weekend?”

“I’m visiting my aunt in Daegu. We’re staying over the weekend and then coming back Sunday evening.”

“Sounds like fun.” Junhong doesn’t miss the shift of tone in her voice, it sounds slightly miserable.

“What about you?”

“I’m visiting a friend in Busan…” She doesn’t turn to face him when she talks; she focuses more on filling the boxes. Junhong doesn’t find it weird.

At around one, she asks him what kind of cakes he likes.

“Nothing in particular.” He answers.

“Are you sure?” she presses on.

He nods.

“Alright. I’m going get something for lunch then. I’ll close the library.” She exits, her coat fluttering behind her.

It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together:

Why would she want to buy me a cake?

 

She makes her return with a cake box at hand. It’s a small square, nothing too fancy.

“Come on Junhong.” She ushers said boy into the small back room they’ve substituted for a kitchen.

She lifts the cakes in all their glory and seats them in front of him.

Funnily Junhong likes the vibrant reds that paint his cake.

“What’s the occasion?” he wonders.

“A thank you for helping me.” She slips a slice of her gateau into . 

Junhong feels content. She does care. She’s thoughtful and mindful of others.

She’d kind, she’s sweet, and she’s perfect.

He finishes the cake, as does she, and he clears up and going back to finish clearing the last few shelves.

It turns out they finish earlier than expected (Junhong had a small bounce in his steps as he took down books). He loads the books into the back and the van drives away.

Returning back inside he picks up his bag, to return home.

The library’s deathly silent. The dust is still ever so present. There seems to be so much more space. His steps echo against the soft carpet as he walks out. Hyesu was elsewhere tidying things up, he didn’t want to disturb her, so he slips out into the Friday evening.

He passes people as he walks to his stop. He thinks they must have lives more exciting than his, they must have troubles worse than his, and they might even be just like him; content with his life.

 

Junhong falls asleep so peacefully the following two nights. Saturday morning he goes to Daegu with his mother driving (his father’s sleeping in the passenger seat, tired from a late night shift).

His cousins are about the same age as him. They have a lot of their friends over, a sight that Junhong’s mother urges him to be a part of.

And he does. He befriends the boys, and some of the girls.

Saturday night, his cousins choose to go camping in the mountain, not so far from their house. His newfound friends are there, sitting by the camp fire, roasting meat and a few of the older teenagers drinking shots of soju (Junhong slips in about three shots in that night as part of a dare).

By Sunday evening, his aunt insists they stay another few days. His mother agrees.

Junhong spends the time with his cousins and their friends, well his friends.

Monday swings by and without a though they visit Ulsan and go to the beach. The whole day goes by and they return home at eleven in the evening.

Junhong sits in bed and heaves a sigh out.

Three days and he had already made friends with about half a dozen people and exchanged numbers with them. One of his cousins suggested that they go on a trip in a few weeks’ time, without the parents and without any protest on Junhong’s behalf, he agreed.

He turns his phone off, and drifts to sleep. But he can’t because Hyesu is on his mind now. He makes it his priority to visit her first thing on tomorrow.

 

A funny thought strikes him as he’s waiting for the bus.

Just over three months ago, Junhong wanted to avoid speaking to his classmates as much as possible. Now he craved it. He didn’t want to spend that much time with solitude and the library as much; he wished he could tell Hyesu his adventures.

His relationship with solitude seemed to be deteriorating, and instead sociability seemed like his best friend in the world.

 

The library is locked. It’s got a notice on the door that reads

 

The Hwang Library has now closed down and will no longer be in service, our deepest apologies for the sudden notice and any inconvenience caused. We’d like to thank all those who visited and we hope you’ve enjoyed the company this library brought.

 

And it’s even funnier that he seemed to have thought of that on his way to the library; because his relationship with solitude was over and that meant his relationship with the library was too.

Junhong doesn’t feel his whole world shatter around him. He feels numb, and another emotion that he can’t quite figure out.

It’s ironic that the library has closed down, just as he wishes to tell Miss Hwang about his new friends.

As quickly as the numbness fades away, Junhong feels void of any personal attachment towards the library other than that of nostalgia.

Junhong walks home, not taking the bus back home.

 

His holidays pass, he eventually makes new friends, and manages to tolerate those he knew.

Junhong still passes the library from time to time, there’s a new library down the road, and he remembers Hyesu.

He remembers her vanilla perfume.

He remembers her chocolate hair wrapped into a high bun.

He remembers her smile that lasted the whole of the last week when they emptied out the library.

True he should be angry about her abrupt leave and closing down his only sanctuary, but what’s a sixteen year old to do? His feelings weren’t deep enough for him to raise hell, it was a crush and he’s got his whole life to raise hell about another girl.

As far as Junhong’s concerned he’s thankful that she helped load out his personal library of confusion and solitude.