Dream High: My Sweet Love

Description

Kirin Art School is where you go to if you want to be as big as Kim Hyun Joong and debut as an idol. Join the students as they make their journey and dream high.

Foreword

Love for B.A.P will never ever stop! And so, the fanfic continues. Yes, I'm not very creative with characters so my OCs are the same girls from Target: B.A.P. I find it hard to remember new characters anyway. And, I think the girls work well with B.A.P.

 

Characters:

 

Name: Choi Jun Hong

Age: 15

Ambition: Be like his hyung

 

Name: Lee Joo Yong

Age: 15

Ambition: Be the best

 

Name: Bang Yong Guk

Age: 18

Ambition: To debut with his dongsaengs

 

Name: Lee Hae Sung

Age: 18

Ambition: To reconcile with her sister

 

Name: Kim Him Chan

Age: 18

Ambition: To have the best time in high school

 

Name: Nam Bi Jeong

Age: 18

Ambition: To be the best rapper

 

Name: Jung Dae Hyun

Age: 17

Ambition: To be the best singer

 

Name: Im Yoon Hye

Age: 17

Ambition: To write the best songs

 

Name: Yoo Young Jae

Age: 17

Ambition: To one day have his own electronic brand

 

Name: Yang Seung Yong

Age: 16

Ambition: To one day have her own album

 

Name: Moon Jong Up

Age: 16

Ambition: To be the best dancer

 

Name: Ellie Park

Age: 15

Ambition: To have a happy relationship with everyone.

(I do not own any of the pictures, just my own characters)

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Comments

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mxntal #1
This fanfic is amazing. Consisting that Dream High is my very fav K Drama and you adding HyeMi's name in Chapter 3 just made me look back at Dream High 1. Sure DH2 there's but no one can beat DH1. So, great fanfic. Wish you could make it longer. There wasn't any fighting scene here and it's all cute and romantic. I like it. No. I love it. You have some errors I did notice but all in all, it's great. Good luck i your next fanfic and your coming fanfics.
bapdaehyunnie #2
Chapter 18: omg, its so cute, i love daehyunnie idea, so sweet and romantic :) love this fanfic so much ^^ daebak!!!!
skyblaze208 #3
Chapter 18: GAH MY HEART <33333 IT'S SO CUTE but are you going to do scenariosnfor the other three as well? I hope you do, if it's not too much hassle! :)
I didn't really catch anything except a tiny typo: you spelled "strengthened" wrong ("stregthened") during the part about how Ferris wheels are slow and stupid. But that's it! I love it!
skyblaze208 #4
Chapter 17: WHAT. IT'S OVERRR?! HOW CAN THIS BEEE but the ending was super cute! <3 Can't wait for It's All Lies! JELLO FOREVER!

Some errors I noticed:

"Joo Yong looked at the door knob then slowly looked up [at see] Jun Hong." Typo, I know; should be either "at Jun Hong" or "to see Jun Hong."

"'You think [to debut] is more important to me?'" Should be "debuting," I believe; it's the case of gerund versus infinitive. "Debuting" sounds better.

"'...you are all from Kirin so we [would] save time on [introduction] and bonding with each other.'" So "would" should be "can" because it's certain, and "introduction" should be "introducing" for parallel structure.

"'You will have free time for now...'" A bit awk-sounding. I think "You have some free time now" sounds better.

"'[Fifteen minutes later], we will..." Sounds like narration, which is weird when someone's talking. You should say, "In fifteen minutes..."

"He was glad he knew at least one person in depth[;] Bang Yong Guk." The semicolon (;) should be a colon (:).

"...Joo Yong looked down at her phone, playing with it as she flipped it open and [close]." Should be "closed."

"...as he [lied] on his back on the grass." Should be "laid," I think. I get confused sometimes, but in this case, "laid" definitely sounds better.

"'To [be], Joo Yong is the perfect girl.'" Obviously another typo; should be "me." Aw Zelo so sweet! And JY is surprisingly romantic too. :D

IDK if I found everything, but these are just some errors that caught my eye. Anticipating your Xmas special! :D
skyblaze208 #5
Chapter 16: NOOO JUNHONG WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS JY JUST SAID SHE LOVES YOU OMGOMGOMG JUST DATE SECRETLY OR SOMETHING GAHHHH
Fantastic chapter! No mistakes, but one thing: don't put author's notes in the story! It just doesn't seem as professional. Ideally, author's notes should go at the end of a chapter, but the beginning works too if it's really important. Just a tip. Update soon! :)
Junehana #6
Chapter 15: i need moorrrreee ! its cute that you put her dad first and junhong second :D
skyblaze208 #7
Chapter 15: "I also happen to have inherit her heart problem." I think it should be either "I also [happened] to inherit" or "I also happen to have [inherited]" because although JY still has the heart condition now, she technically "inherited" it wayyy back when she was first created as a single cell. I think. The sentence just sounded a little off to me but I can't tell you for sure if it's wrong or not. >< Sorry! This is like not helpful at all haha but uh there are no other mistakes so yaaay!
skyblaze208 #8
Chapter 14: WHOOT. NEW CHAPPIE. ><
Awww, so cuuuuuute. "Jun Hong is the only reason I might consider staying." OKAY THAT IS LIKE THE SWEETEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD AND OMGGG JY IS ADORABLE OK
"Only [G]randma [will] be coming but even then..." because "Grandma" is like a "name" in this case, and "will" because it's for sure that her grandma is coming.
Also "Did anyone ever CARE about my feelings?"
:D That's pretty much it. great chapter! Update soon!
skyblaze208 #9
Chapter 13: Yaaaay chapter 13!!! So happy! :D
Yoon Hye and Dae Hyun are so cuuuute! Almost as cute as JY and JH. But not quite. xD
Anyways no major errors, just two periods that I think should be commas:
"Gumawo[,] Yoon Hye-unnie!" AND "You want the school's showcase to be good[,] right?"
But yeah. That's it. :D Fantastic job!
But I have ONE question. "Dae Hyun also has the best voice that has ever lived and will ever live." Voices...can LIVE??? O_O
MBLAQSqueak #10
Chapter 12: The train part was sooooooo kwaiiiiii!! Now when's Daehyun and Yoon Hye coming in?! The couples are so cute but I'm confused. Is Hae Sung and Yong Guk still dating in the future?? Please update soon tho this is getting even better by the moment!
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