I get up in the morning from my bed everyday sighing, it's the first thing i do ever since i realised something and believe me i have been living hell since then.

Sunrays penetrating the green curtains indicating its morning already as i stare at it. funny how i didn't notice when the sun came up this morning while i was stuck in my train of thoughts the whole night. i have been on this way ever since the last month.

I Didn't know i reached the school building while i was listening to my cassette recorder until someone head locked me from the back "Hey!!" he said.

I didn't have to look to know who it was, it was obvious. Yoo yoonjae.

My Best friend since elementary, we went through plenty of memories together. side by side, ever since his parents death to his hyungs fiance's. you can say we are un-realted brothers.

'Ahh i feel so tired' he said while having a very bored face and i chuckled lightly as i looked at him. amazed at how he always managed to say the same line everymorning in different ways. he looked at me and smiled and i responded with one too.

The class is the best place for me after home at least i don't have to over think myself here, i just have to focus on the class and the teacher. which was hard for me to do though lately. i can't do anything but sigh while looking somewhere into the distance.

He sits beside me as i sit next to him at our usual seating, i have been siting with him ever since elementary and it's almost a habit.  he sits not blurting a word with his half closed eyelids. probably he didn't get any sleep last night like me.

'Oh my god guys did you hear that rumor about the busan cup baseball team is going againts daeju blue tails next match?' sungjae blabbered as soon as we sat down.

'Can't you shut up for once?' yoongjae snapped back at him threathing ,'IT'S THE NATIONAL TOURNAMENTS DO YOU KNOW HOW -OUCH' he groadned in pain after yoonjae had thrown whatever he found under his desk at him.

'You deseve this to be honest'  said hak chan while shaking his head slightly. i smiled at there usual early morning bricker. this is something i never get tired of getting used to.

'Do you have a dictionary?' yoonjae asked. honestly i knew why he wanted it but i had that urge to ask back.

'Yes, Why?' i asked back while slightly smirking.

'just give me' he said to me and i just gave him and as i thought ,he used it as a pillow. i smiled once i saw him closing his eyes and drifting to his dreamland. i stared at him for long but looked away to the board when i saw i was staring for long trying to push away some thoughts from my mind.

We were walking after the class finnished the two of us, sungjae said something about selling tapes with hak chan while they practically disapeard infront of us. we didn't really care anyways.

'So how was your weekend at your sisters house?' he asked as he was streching, probably because of the sleep he had in the 4 classes.

'Nothing special.' i shrugged as i took a bite of my bread while looking ahead. 

'Are you serious? you actually missed the opening of the baseball tournament for nothing?' he said in disbelive.

'Yeah, you know how my sister will throw a fit if i didnt listen to her.' i said to him while slighting smiling.

'Wah chijjah' he said looking at me smiling, i was walking ahead taking bites of my bread until i felt myself spunned around, he spun me around by putting his hands on my shoulders.

I froze. i was not ready for any physical interaction today. 

He stared at me in the eye. i couldn't bring myself to look at him in the eye the first few seconds until i looked up and i couldn't tear my gaze from his. i could feel my heartbeat picking it's pace. i wished this moment stayed forever.......... until he spoke.

'Junhee-ah......... i have got to tell you something.i have someone i like." he said with a serious frustrated face.

I could feel my knuckless going bold. The words sounded heavy to my ears, it's like it weighted tonnes. i just felt something drop hard down in my stomach not knowing exactly what was this. My breathing became shallower ,i want this to end. Somehow i felt tears gathering up behind my eyes but i couldn't. I shouldn't cry. I'm not allowed to from the first place.

This is wrong. Everything was wrong. I'm supposed to be smiling and asking him who is it or teasing him about  it but i couldn't.

i already knew who was it so i didn't really need to ask. i slightly smiled back as tightend my grip hoping a miracle would happen to stop this pain. it hurted so badly.

'Ya! yoon yoongjae!!' her voice horolled throughout the hallway. we both looked at the source of the sound.

It was Sung Shiwon, our best friend................. and yoonjae's recent crush.

'ya!!! are you the one who took my ear phones?!!!!" she shouted at him while he couldn't look at her in the eyes when he answerd 'no' with a slightly flushed face. probably embarrased because he was just confessing to me about his crush and she appeard.

'Then did they get legs and walk away? you were in my room yesterday!' she exlaimed at him while he tried to ignore her but she kept on pulling and thuging his arm while walking away.

The sight of them walking together made me feel like a sinner. the fact that i feel in love with my best friend which was a secret.

A secret between me and me.

It was sin to love him

I shouldn't even had thought of him. i shouldn't even had try to think it was fine. i shouldn't have.

Its was a wrong one-sided crush. 

It was wrong.

everything about it was wrong and i knew but it hurts.

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My first oneshot! felt like writing it after watching the behind the scene of 'Reply 1997' LOOOOOOOL

forgive me for my inexperienced writing people. and thankyou for reading *bows* xD